video 🎸 un: metalhead69

[bardbarous]

[ Starring: Tuck, Vyng, Billie ]

Hey. Hey! LOOK OVER HERE, EVERYBODY!

[ Great! Now that he has your attention, he gets to the point of this commercial interruption. ]

I have, uh, something to say to all of you. [ The large man unfolds a piece of paper and begins reading from it. ]

Amara, not Laura,
You are my destiny,
A mysterious mistress fated to me—Ah fuck, wrong piece!

[ He is already floundering twenty seconds in, but Vyng, the wild haired half-elf standing beside him hands over another cue card.

"Here you go, buddy," he offers. ]

Thanks. Um, "This is our son Fat Billie." [ You better believe these lines are spoken as woodenly as possible. ] "Say hi Billie."

[ After an awkward beat, Tuck squats down and picks up his round little halfling son, covered in his usual raccoon skin to hide his ginger hair. In Tuck's giant hand he looks the size of a basketball.

"Hi Billie!" the little boy greets, hands covered in something like gravy or chocolate.

Behind him, Vyng laughs. "Nice." ]

"He needs someone like you [ And then Tuck pantomimes to the video screen, pointing stiffly to his audience. ] to be his friend! Come—" uh, "Come eat lunch! Take afternoon naps! Eat more food!" Uhm, "Pet cats!

"If this sounds good to you, please apply!" Oh, but no nerds, though! Or adults! Like 18 year olds tops!

[ "Yeah, don't make this creepy," Vyng adds with a judging eye. ]

Yeah, don't be fucking gross, old people! He's a child!

[ "So, no nerds, don't be creep-os, must love gravy! If this sounds like you, like and subscribe!" Vyng points down to the bottom of the screen, which Tuck does not get. ]

Are you pointing at your dick? Point to Billie!!

[ He takes one of his friend's hands and points it at their fat little son.

"Now like and subscribe!" ]

Comments

Video UN: ClickClickBloom

[onekindsoul]

Oh no!

No!

I turned 19 this year. Does that mean I'm not allowed to be his friend anymore!?

un: metalhead69

[bardbarous]

Ah, shit! No, it's fine! We'll, uh, grandfather you in!

un: zing zang

[spiritwalks]

Yeah, you're the cool sister-aunt.

un: UNOWEN

[forwantofahorse]

I can confirm that Billie is an absolute delight of a boy after keeping an eye on him during Cobra Kai training. Take this as an endorsement.

(Don't worry, Misters Tuck and Vyng, I've been making sure that Lawrence-sensei isn't too hard on Billie.)

Voice

[wapples]

[Reading is not Billie's strong suit, although he's starting to get a better handle on how to use the Omni in general in that he has figured out he doesn't have to yell into it to be heard, and he's got Wicker, so she is also a big help.]

Thanks! So are you!

Video; un: lothrat

[ezra_of_lothal]

Well, uh. I guess I missed the age cut off by less than week? Not sure about my nerd status.[Ezra shrugs, and gives a friendly wave. He has been hanging out in the Archives in Gaze and studying what he has from the Jedi Archives a lot.]

But for the record, I'm always down to pet cats and be chill.

un: zing zang

[spiritwalks]

[This jackass hangs out in the Archives plenty too. Somehow, Vyng never gets slapped with the "nerd" label. Hypocritical? You bet. But Tuck and Billie were insistent on adding a no-nerds clause, Vyng doesn't care one way or the other, and so here we are.]

You're friends with Francis. That pig is all class. He knows what's up.

[wapples]

[Billie returns the wave enthusiastically]

Me too! I think there's a lot of cats here - we should pet all of them.

[bardbarous]

[ Hmm, Tuck isn't so sure. He'll sus out a nerd! ]

Do you wear glasses? What about a fedora?

Video UN: 1stStrike

[strikefirster]

So you're the kids dad's, huh?

Good to know.

I've been teaching your boy how to be an absolute badass. I'm an adult but I'm not one of those creepy sacks of shit. I have him training with other kids.

The little beach ball is going to grow into a real man by the time I'm done with him.

Right, Billie? Cobra Kai Never Dies.

[wapples]

[Billie absolutely beams.]

Yeah! Cobra Kai Never Dies!

[bardbarous]

Are you cursing in front of our fucking son?!

Video | un: perell

[frogiturgy]

Welp. I guess I'm out.

video | un: zing zang

[spiritwalks]

You live here.

Maybe some things aren't about you, Perell.

[GOD.]

Video;

[wapples]

[... Perell, please.]

Come on. We're still gonna hang out. I can't avoid you - you kinda live with us!

text | UN: forgetmenot

[nilheality]

[Well. That's new... and vaguely reminiscent of a certain elf bard she knew...]

[As usual the text is handwritten:]

Well, I'm afraid I do not qualify. But I want to extend my well wishes on Billie making new friends.

He certainly has attentive guardians.

[Even if they were a bit... eccentric. A part of her was worried that Billie was up for this, but she wanted to believe in the good vibes.]

Voice

[wapples]

[Billie is absolutely up for all of this. He grins as Wicker reads the message to him and he sends one of his own back.]

Yeah! They're both really cool.

video; un: seeingtheworld

[schoolingfish]

But why no nerds?

[bardbarous]

Because! They get beat up by the cool kids, and then they grow up to be embarrassing losers who turn everything into frogs!

[ Yeah, that got really specific. Sorry, kid. ]

un: eudaimonikos; video

[eudaimonikos]

Oh! Guess I'm out, too!

[Michael pretty clearly saw the whole "you live here" thing with Perell and is now just taking the piss.]

Video;

[wapples]

Exceptions for people who live with us! Or that we live with!

[He looks up at Tuck and Vyng.]

Right, guys?

Action

[frogiturgy]

[Perell is just gonna cast him a grin from the sofa.]

Glad to see someone else knows what's up!

video: un; makes.it.count

[nothinglikea]

[the omni is set at a wonky angle, most of her face can be seen but so can a lot of curly, red hair]

...I'm not sure what "nerd" and "creep-o" mean. I take it from context that both are bad things, but why are they bad things?

[wapples]

[If it wasn't for his Omen doing the recording for him, Billie would have the exact same problem, so he's completely sympathetic with the weird angle.]

Nerds are people who just like books and science and stuff and don't like fun at all. Creep-o's are people who... uh. Who...

Hm.

[He's not sure how best to describe them besides creepy, which doesn't feel like it's going to help Rose much.]

You know how sometimes you look at someone and you just get a really, really bad feeling about them? Like they probably kick puppies, or, I dunno, put raisins in cookies and tell you it's chocolate chip? Those are creep-o's!

i'm so sorry

[bardbarous]

[ Red hair!!! ]

Allison?!