Tachome Dhaume (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bardbarous) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
deernet2022-02-14 09:35 am
bardbarous) wrote in deernet2022-02-14 09:35 am
video 🎸 un: metalhead69
[ Starring: Tuck, Vyng, Billie ]
Hey. Hey! LOOK OVER HERE, EVERYBODY!
[ Great! Now that he has your attention, he gets to the point of this commercial interruption. ]
I have, uh, something to say to all of you. [ The large man unfolds a piece of paper and begins reading from it. ]
Amara, not Laura,
You are my destiny,
A mysterious mistress fated to me—Ah fuck, wrong piece!
[ He is already floundering twenty seconds in, but Vyng, the wild haired half-elf standing beside him hands over another cue card.
"Here you go, buddy," he offers. ]
Thanks. Um, "This is our son Fat Billie." [ You better believe these lines are spoken as woodenly as possible. ] "Say hi Billie."
[ After an awkward beat, Tuck squats down and picks up his round little halfling son, covered in his usual raccoon skin to hide his ginger hair. In Tuck's giant hand he looks the size of a basketball.
"Hi Billie!" the little boy greets, hands covered in something like gravy or chocolate.
Behind him, Vyng laughs. "Nice." ]
"He needs someone like you [ And then Tuck pantomimes to the video screen, pointing stiffly to his audience. ] to be his friend! Come—" uh, "Come eat lunch! Take afternoon naps! Eat more food!" Uhm, "Pet cats!
"If this sounds good to you, please apply!" Oh, but no nerds, though! Or adults! Like 18 year olds tops!
[ "Yeah, don't make this creepy," Vyng adds with a judging eye. ]
Yeah, don't be fucking gross, old people! He's a child!
[ "So, no nerds, don't be creep-os, must love gravy! If this sounds like you, like and subscribe!" Vyng points down to the bottom of the screen, which Tuck does not get. ]
Are you pointing at your dick? Point to Billie!!
[ He takes one of his friend's hands and points it at their fat little son.
"Now like and subscribe!" ]
Hey. Hey! LOOK OVER HERE, EVERYBODY!
[ Great! Now that he has your attention, he gets to the point of this commercial interruption. ]
I have, uh, something to say to all of you. [ The large man unfolds a piece of paper and begins reading from it. ]
Amara, not Laura,
You are my destiny,
A mysterious mistress fated to me—Ah fuck, wrong piece!
[ He is already floundering twenty seconds in, but Vyng, the wild haired half-elf standing beside him hands over another cue card.
"Here you go, buddy," he offers. ]
Thanks. Um, "This is our son Fat Billie." [ You better believe these lines are spoken as woodenly as possible. ] "Say hi Billie."
[ After an awkward beat, Tuck squats down and picks up his round little halfling son, covered in his usual raccoon skin to hide his ginger hair. In Tuck's giant hand he looks the size of a basketball.
"Hi Billie!" the little boy greets, hands covered in something like gravy or chocolate.
Behind him, Vyng laughs. "Nice." ]
"He needs someone like you [ And then Tuck pantomimes to the video screen, pointing stiffly to his audience. ] to be his friend! Come—" uh, "Come eat lunch! Take afternoon naps! Eat more food!" Uhm, "Pet cats!
"If this sounds good to you, please apply!" Oh, but no nerds, though! Or adults! Like 18 year olds tops!
[ "Yeah, don't make this creepy," Vyng adds with a judging eye. ]
Yeah, don't be fucking gross, old people! He's a child!
[ "So, no nerds, don't be creep-os, must love gravy! If this sounds like you, like and subscribe!" Vyng points down to the bottom of the screen, which Tuck does not get. ]
Are you pointing at your dick? Point to Billie!!
[ He takes one of his friend's hands and points it at their fat little son.
"Now like and subscribe!" ]
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and Official Rose Seal of Approval granted in return!
the idea of Cal and Lovejoy being frogs is positively hilarious to her]
A few were. The problem was that I knew so few people.
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[Frogs are stupid. They would have deserved it.]
There's lots of people here to get to know, though! And everyone I've met so far seems really nice.
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[frogs are indeed stupid and they'd absolutely have it coming]
They are! It's rather remarkable, to have so many nice people. Or maybe I was too used to being around snobs who weren't nice people.
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[They're frogs, Rose. Don't help them.]
Yeah - I haven't met anyone snobby here at all!
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[definitely not Cal-frog or Lovejoy-frog]
It's amazing, isn't it? There are so many of us and yet, no snobs!
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Oooh. I like that part about the monsters. Snobs are usually foolish, so being snobby at a monster is absolutely something they'd do.