Deer Country Network

[Ronan's sitting in a chair backwards, tipped forward so only two on its legs are on the ground as he plucks a few chocolate-covered peanuts off a vine-like plant growing on the desk and shoves them in his mouth with all the grace of a teenage boy that's spent the last couple years very unparented. He's tall, broad-shouldered, with hooks of black ink on his skin that curve up his neck, beyond his tank top. His physique speaks to physical exertion as a hobby as much as for exercise, his hair buzzed close to his skull.

Honestly, Ronan had hated cell phones even back home, so this whole thing makes him cringe internally. But whatever, he was doing this. At least he can have his Omen do it. He regards his night horror with glacial blue eyes that imply venom, not kindness as it broadcasts him to the network.]

As an entitled jerk back home, my idea of cooking mostly revolved around ordering takeout from this pizza place and waiting for it to arrive at my door. Which isn't really the vibe I get here.

So I'm looking for beginner-friendly recipes with a low risk of disaster, if anyone's got any.

I mean, I could make poptarts in the toaster and the cookies you took out of the fridge and put in the oven, so I'm not inept or something. Just never had much reason to go beyond the sort of cooking you could do in a microwave.

[He pauses, considering a moment as he rocks the chair back and forth on the carpet. A juvenile raven creeps into the frame from behind Ronan, moving towards the desk surprisingly stealthily for a giant black bird; he seems unaware.]

And you know, if anyone's willing to show me some stuff, that'd be cool. Not for free- I'm sure I can come up with something to trade for it. I'm good at getting things off tall shelves, street racing, punching people, and some other shit. I'm sure we can figure out a trade of some sort.

[He considers ending it there, but instead, hesitates. And in a hilarious show of burying the lead--]

So, the whole squid thing. Did that feel weird for anyone else? I mean, weirder than weird. Familiar or something. Like deja vu? Like you'd done it before, or.. been something like that before?

[He still doesn't trust people, not here. Not anywhere, really. But he has to know. In a place this weird, he has to know.]

I'm just wondering... who here is not human? You don't need to tell me who you are if you don't want to, but I just want to get a sense for how many people who are not human are here.

I can't be the only one.

And a second question: is it safe for those who are not human here? I mean, I am definitely not like one of those beast things and I have no plans of attacking people. But human-dominated places tend to be somewhat unsafe for us.

And if you are some kind of mad scientist type reading this? Fuck off. We don't need people like you on our asses.

[Is that enough of a difference from his usual typing? He'll have to be careful about capitalization and punctuation so it sounds different from him, but...]