deernet | un: somnium; video

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un: somnium; video

[Ronan's sitting in a chair backwards, tipped forward so only two on its legs are on the ground as he plucks a few chocolate-covered peanuts off a vine-like plant growing on the desk and shoves them in his mouth with all the grace of a teenage boy that's spent the last couple years very unparented. He's tall, broad-shouldered, with hooks of black ink on his skin that curve up his neck, beyond his tank top. His physique speaks to physical exertion as a hobby as much as for exercise, his hair buzzed close to his skull.

Honestly, Ronan had hated cell phones even back home, so this whole thing makes him cringe internally. But whatever, he was doing this. At least he can have his Omen do it. He regards his night horror with glacial blue eyes that imply venom, not kindness as it broadcasts him to the network.]

As an entitled jerk back home, my idea of cooking mostly revolved around ordering takeout from this pizza place and waiting for it to arrive at my door. Which isn't really the vibe I get here.

So I'm looking for beginner-friendly recipes with a low risk of disaster, if anyone's got any.

I mean, I could make poptarts in the toaster and the cookies you took out of the fridge and put in the oven, so I'm not inept or something. Just never had much reason to go beyond the sort of cooking you could do in a microwave.

[He pauses, considering a moment as he rocks the chair back and forth on the carpet. A juvenile raven creeps into the frame from behind Ronan, moving towards the desk surprisingly stealthily for a giant black bird; he seems unaware.]

And you know, if anyone's willing to show me some stuff, that'd be cool. Not for free- I'm sure I can come up with something to trade for it. I'm good at getting things off tall shelves, street racing, punching people, and some other shit. I'm sure we can figure out a trade of some sort.

[He considers ending it there, but instead, hesitates. And in a hilarious show of burying the lead--]

So, the whole squid thing. Did that feel weird for anyone else? I mean, weirder than weird. Familiar or something. Like deja vu? Like you'd done it before, or.. been something like that before?

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[You know. He thought, for a moment, about saying something about Chainsaw, but really there were more important things about this than what the raven was planning on stealing. Assuming she was.]

Something you're not telling me, sweetheart?

[Or rather, was there something Ronan wanted to talk about.

Kavinsky bit his tongue and barely restrained himself from adding something that would have involved the word 'porn'.]

I didn't know the weird squid shit felt familiar to you.

[It had not felt familiar to Kavinsky, just...weird.]

[There's a trashcan next to the desk, which is one of the few things that Ronan forbids her from, and thus that she tends to steal from when his back is turned. Typically this just meant that Ronan had to clean up the shredded bits of paper she scattered around the house

Ronan flushes a little at the question; like he understands that there's something that could have ended with the word porn, even if Kavinsky doesn't say it. He does appreciate that it remains subtext, though.]

I didn't know how to talk about it. I mean, I don't know why, I just.. know how it felt.

[He shrugs his shoulders. He wants to blow it off, pull away, pretend that it doesn't matter. But he isn't; he's trying. Because Kavinsky called him sweetheart, and so Ronan reminded himself that he cared about this boy, and so he tried to let him in. He figured if he kept reminding himself, maybe eventually he wouldn't want to pull away.]

That's fair.

Do you think it has something to do with- [He didn't finish.

If it had something do with being a dreamer, why didn't Kavinsky feel like he'd been a squid in a past life or whatever?]

Can't say I know anything about squid people back home.

[Which didn't mean it wasn't a thing, of course, just that the knowledge of it hadn't reached him.]

Any other details you can think of?

Well -- The forest used to call me Greywaren. I thought it was just what it called dreamers. But it told me there were "many dreamers, one Greywaren."

[Which is slightly nicer than how Cabeswater had actually said it, but he doesn't think the way it characterized Kavinsky was fair. Had he known any better? Had he had anyone to teach him? Ronan had definitely passed on that opportunity. So it punished him for stealing, when Kavinsky had never even known what he was stealing from. That summer Ronan had thought that their dreaming was damaging the ley line, was why Cabeswater was gone, but he'd been wrong. Adam had fixed it in an afternoon.]

I was supposed to be its right hand. Hadn't I always known that?

[He imagined they'd gotten very different pep talks that 4th of July, which just makes him feel a little sadder for Kavinsky's death and a little more glad that they're here now.]

I dreamt the forest. Not the creature in it, but I brought it into Henrietta, dreamt the forest for it to wear.

But I forgot that I had; I'd been so young. And it had been something out there so it was easy to.. I dunno. Coincidence, right? No matter how familiar it felt. But it spoke Latin because I speak Latin. It's true tongue is something stranger.

I always knew my father was a dreamer. And I always knew.. I was different, somehow. I was still begging for someone to tell me what I was even after he died. I'd have these dreams sometimes, where-- where I died. But it was a happy thing, because all these people would show up- strange and impossible, every one. And all of them saying my name. And that was... it was the closest I got to happiness, back then. Before the racing. Before you.

Dreamer didn't feel like a big enough word. Not until I found you and the dreamfield. You dreamt like I did, your dreams were impossible, big enough to fill worlds or burn them. Not coffee machines that ran off of hugs. And it just... no one else ever made me feel like I made sense. Like we're the same.

[Still, is what he means. Even if Greywaren means some sort of dreamer that's also part-squid, he still feels like they're the same kind of dreamer in the ways that matter. God, he just hopes that Kavinsky does, too.]

Edited 2023-02-21 08:46 (UTC)

[That was a lot to take in. A lot to unpack, so to speak.]

You dreamt the- [Kavinsky's face scrunched up while he considered that.] You dreamt a whole ass forest? How old were you?

[Did Ronan even speak Latin that young?

He wasn't sure if he wanted to be upset over never being told this before or just glad he was being told now. Things could've been so different. Certain things might've never happened, there could've been potential-]

Dude, you've got- [He sucked in a breath, rubbing at his eye.] -have you been keeping all this to yourself all this time?

[He could focus on the compliment, or turn it into a compliment, either way, about how impossible his dreams were, about how he made Ronan happy. But there were other, more important matters at hand.]

Maybe you're just like- an elite dreamer. Always outdoing everyone else.

[He was teasing gently, but also semi-serious. He couldn't think of anything else Ronan could be. Super fancy dreamer, special dreamer. Of course he was special, though; he'd always been special to Kavinsky.]

Or the forest's got a crush on you and was trying to impress you.

[Really, Kavinsky didn't know about any specific connections between dreamers and forests, but he'd also never had anyone to teach him things. His own father hadn't been a dreamer, and his mother sure as shit wasn't. He was- an anomaly. A freak, according to his father.]

Seriously, though. I've never heard of greywaren before.

[His brow furrows at the question. How old had he been? It should have been simple, but for some reason he couldn't place it. He couldn't think of a birthday or a holiday to mark it. So he just shrugs his shoulders, a little bit sheepishly.]

Yeah. I was-- I dunno. Young. Two or three, maybe? Before I started school, anyway. Before I dreamt Matthew.

[Kavinsky might be able to tell that he's grasping for information he can't quite reach. Something about it that feels uncomfortable, trying to put together pieces that don't quite fit. So it's easier to focus on the rest of things that Kavinsky says. And for the moment, there's a sort of peace- almost comfort- in talking about this stuff with him. He should have before, he knew, but at least they were talking about it now.]

Most of it. I mean, I told Parrish about the forest eventually. He sorta -- he made a deal with the forest. That's why the ley line was so much stronger that summer. We woke it up. Parrish offered to be its hands and eyes. And then it killed Whelk who'd wanted the power for himself.

[He sighed and took a breath. Fuck, but he hadn't really thought about Whelk since it had happened. Unlike Kavinsky's death which haunted him, Whelk had pulled a gun on his friends multiple times and clearly been willing to kill them. Ronan believed in self-defense. But it implies that there had been real power there; enough to fight for.]

Parrish sorta- freaked a little when I told him. He was afraid it meant that he'd on some level made a pact with me instead of an arcane, unknowable forest entity. I told him not to worry. Like I said, I dreamt the forest not.. the thing in it. I just gave it a home in reality.

[He laughs, warm and bright, when Kavinsky suggests that maybe the forest had a crush on him and he can't help teasing and asking if the other boy is jealous. He shrugs his shoulders when he says that he's never heard of a greywaren before; he's not surprised. But maybe he'd been a little hopeful for a moment or two.]

My father knew something about it. It's why Greenmantle had him killed. I guess he got curious about the stuff my father was selling, and he told him that he had a greywaren and it let him take-- take anything he wanted from his dreams. So he sent someone to take it.

[Ronan's voice catches, and his blue eyes widen and his tone goes from casual to hushed and almost fragile. It's like his heart falls out the bottom of his ribcage, and Ronan seems a little unsteady as he leans forward, letting the chair catch his chest. It had always seemed a sad and pathetic sort of lie. What was the point in disguising the dreaming by claiming you had a magic object that allowed you to do it? But it wasn't a lie. And Ronan was the greywaren. Not just a dreamer, but... something.

He stares at his boyfriend, blinking a few times, unsure if he feels dizzy because of how he's reeling, or if it's because of the uncomfortable implications so close to his fingertips.]

Kavinsky?

[It's not actually a question; he just needs to hear his voice. He needs something in the world that feels solid.]

Right...you dreamt Matthew.

[Had Ronan told him that before? He couldn't remember. It felt like it was news, anyway. As for the rest-

That wasn't what he'd meant but he let it slide. They could talk about depression some other time. Some time when it wasn't over the network and they didn't have to worry about other people eavesdropping or something.]

You know, I'd always had a feeling Whelk was an asshole, but I hadn't thought he was that big of an asshole.

[Nodding slowly, he followed along with the rest. Honestly, there were worse people to make deals with than Ronan Lynch, but he could understand the worry about doing something unknowingly. Being informed about situations was always for the best, for all parties involved.]

So...the forest was weak before the ley line was awakened. Is that why it couldn't just create its own physical form?

[Or did it specifically need a dreamer, he wondered.]

Greenmantle's a dick.

[He added, before the rest of what Ronan said sank in. Ronan's father had known he was a greywaren. His father had known before Ronan himself. That meant...it meant something.

Was Ronan a dream?]

Are you all right? Do you need me to come over?

[Because he would. He would in a heartbeat. Kavinsky might have been a shitty person but he strived to be a good boyfriend. A good friend.]

I didn't remember until Declan told me. After you died, I got- reckless, self-destructive. Or, well, worse. We were fighting after church, like always, and basically told me I had to get my shit together before I put Matthew in a coma.

[He shrugs his shoulders a little bit sheepishly. He'd been so depressed and alone and then he'd lost that all over again, and with the guilt it had felt so much worse. So he drove like Kavinsky himself was at his side, chasing him.]

When he was at Aglionby he murdered his friend trying to get its power. So, yeah. That big of an asshole. His friend, Noah, was a ghost and used to hang out at Monmouth. I'd throw him out a window when he got annoying- but he's.. gone now.

[It was bittersweet- they'd been friends. Another hole in his life that the more he looked back at it, the more it seemed tattered and like he had been barely hanging on by threads. Of course the Unmaker had torn him apart. Ronan hummed thoughtfully, a slight tilt of his head.]

I dunno about weak. It was always there in my dreams. I think maybe it was dreaming? I was probably supposed to- I dunno. Do something. But it wasn't like I fucking knew what I was doing.

[There's still that horror behind his thoughts, of something that he can't quite explain or put into words, but that he feels. At the question he nods, a little awkward, blue eyes flashing to the other boy and then darting away.]

Yeah, will you? I- need you. I'm... I dunno. I never thought about it before. I thought it was just a shitty lie, but--

[He gave Ronan a knowing look. The other boy had always been reckless and self-destructive. It was part of why they'd been friends, part of why he'd wanted to pull Ronan under his wing. And maybe part of why shit hadn't worked out before.]

I'm sorry.

[Because if Ronan had been killed, if he was here...Matthew would be in a coma. Kavinsky knew that guilt.]

Fuck. And people think I'm that kind of asshole.

[But he wasn't. He'd never hurt a friend like that.]

I never knew you had a ghostly roommate.

[He almost cracked a joke or asked if Noah had been hot, but- if he was gone gone, and he'd been a friend of Ronan's, Kavinsky didn't want to actually disrespect the dead.]

Guess that explains why the forest always liked you more than it liked me, though.

[He wasn't bitter about it, it just- it really did explain some things.

Nodding, he added,]

It's still shitty, is what it is. I'll be there in a few minutes.

Yeah. Whelk tried to sacrifice him to the ley line, I guess. But that meant that he died on the line, in Cabeswater. So he was more, somehow?

[He laughs softly, a little awkwardly.]

I used to think he was anorexic or some shit because he'd never eat when he came with us to Nino's. He was actually.. that night we raced, with the night horrors? He was in the car at one point. He uh, tried to convince me not to race you because he had a feeling something bad was going to happen. I told him that was what happens when you're dead and did it anyway, of course.

But I dunno if I'd have lived long enough for you to save me without him -- there were so many of them that night. And Noah pulled some ghost shit until he couldn't stay present. But it was like the longer he was alive, the less of him there was left.

[But there was a red Mustang, with seven years of ruin, and the word murdered written into the grime over and over, where Ronan had written remembered with both a fingertip and his heart.

But then Kavinsky says the forest always liked Ronan more, and Ronan actually laughs.]

I'm sure this is gonna fucking shock you, but as much as I loved the forest, it had communication issues.

I mean, Parrish made a deal with it, but they didn't speak same language at first. And when Cabeswater thought he was ignoring it, he's see leaves and branches growing out of his shower when he had his eyes open, or strange people in mirrors demanding things in a language he'd never heard. Or just screaming at him. From what he said, it was mostly screaming and terrifying gestures before he figured out what it needed.

[So: a lot like dealing with Ronan.]

And it was longer after that before it figured out how to communicate with him in ways that weren't terrible. And Parrish- he had a teacher, until she died. Who the fuck did you and I have?

Like I... when I got the Camaro right, it was because I cheated. I'll tell you more later.

And I know I should have told you back then, but- I dunno, man. At the time, I thought you knew what you were doing, and I was just this asshole stumbling in the dark. It was too late, when I realized that maybe both of us had been stumbling in the dark.

But what I'm saying is that I don't think Cabeswater really liked you less, not really. You just didn't know how to speak its language any better than Parrish did at first, and so it was always screaming at you.

I'm at our house, of course. And be careful.

[It's almost calming, being able to talk about things that aren't his father at the moment. Also because for one, he thinks what he says is true. And for another, even if he hadn't really dreamt the creature at Cabeswater's heart, Ronan still didn't want Kavinsky to think the forest Ronan had loved until its death hadn't liked him much, silly as it is.

He's shifted from the chair by the desk to curled up on the couch when he gets home, Chainsaw perched on the back of it as she caws kerah? with her raven's voice, quietly concerned. There's some crumpled papers she's tucked next to it, having clearly stolen them from the trash, but decided to save them for later in favor of fretting over her dreamer.

There's also an open bottle on the coffee table. Ronan has clearly had a bit, but he was also trying not to fall too heavily into old patterns tonight: he was using a glass to pace himself. And there was a clean one next to it, like he was waiting for company.]

That's really fucked up.

[He shook his head slowly before tipping it to the side.]

Too bad I can't thank Noah for helping save your life.

[Because even if they were here now, both of them having died, anyone who'd been able to extend Ronan's life was someone Kavinsky would want to thank.

On the other hand, he couldn't help but laugh when Ronan said the forest had communication issues.]

So, it didn't- hey, I did know what I was doing. [Sort of. As much as a self taught dreamer could know what they were doing.] So, it didn't actually hate me?

[He nodded, starting to scoop up Illya before pausing for a moment.]

I'll be careful.

[It was a promise.

It only took him a little bit to return home, unlocking the door and stepping inside. As soon as the door shut behind him, Illya leaped off his shoulders and disappeared into the house. Kavinsky, on the other hand, headed into the living room, glancing from Chainsaw to Ronan before sitting down beside him.

He only paused for a moment before wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and pulling him close.]

Hey.

[Ronan looked up, seeming to perk up a little once he heard the door and saw Kavinsky stepping into the living room. He definitely perked up once the other boy joined him on the couch, wrapping his arms around him. Ronan exhaled, basically crawling into his lap and tucking his chin into the other boy's shoulder.]

Hey.

[Just having Kavinsky here, and being able to wrap himself around him helped his mood. Knowing that whatever the fuck was going on, that he wasn't alone with it. That even when Ronan wasn't sure what he was, that Kavinsky still wanted to be here with him. It meant the world to him, but he was bad at saying that, so he didn't say it outloud, just tried to communicate it in the way that he let his body tilt into the dreamer's. He didn't know if he wanted to talk, or if he wanted Kavinsky to make it hard for him to think about anything that hurt for a little while.

For the moment he settled for kissing his neck with occasional nips of teeth as something like a compromise.]

But no, I don't think it hated you. I think you just needed to figure out how to talk to it. I'll teach you. Cause I-- I wanna dream it here. Not in the city, obviously, but.. somewhere. Out by the farms, maybe. I wanna make it so it can take care of itself. But maybe I can make it so it's easier for us to hear it.

[It was easier to talk about this than the other thing- but maybe they weren't actually that different, in the end.]

[It was nice, having Ronan there, even if Ronan was going through some shit. Kavinsky held him and rubbed his back, head tipping to the side a little. He was easily distracted, especially by Ronan, but he was trying to stay on point. Trying to think of things other than Ronan's mouth on his neck.]

I didn't know I should have talked to it.

[It was a little difficult to admit, but it wasn't exactly surprising that Kavinsky was sometimes bad at communicating, too.]

I think that's a good idea. [Ronan dreaming the forest sounded like- like comfort or closure or something like that.] It'll fit right in. Do you think it'll remember me?

[Or would it be a different thing altogether?]

I'll help, too. If I can.

[If Ronan wanted him to. Kavinsky didn't know what sort of help he could be when dreaming an entire forest was outside of his area of expertise, but he'd do whatever he could.]

I could show you how to cook a few things.

[ despite often conjuring ready-made meals, wanda does enjoy the actual act of cooking on most days. creating with her bare hands is a little more fulfilling than doing so with magic. ]

What things do you like? [ she furrows her brows thoughtfully. ] Pasta? Curry? Stew?

I'd appreciate it. And if there's anything I can do in return, just ask.

[To be honest, that was sort of the reason Ronan was asking about cooking at all. He could dream whatever meals he could imagine, but it just wasn't the same. Which was one thing with twizzlers and chocolate-covered peanuts, and more of an issue with trying to dream himself dinner. At the options she lists, there's an unexpected flash of emotion in his eyes; quiet tragedy.]

Stew. My- my mom used to make it.

[It's nothing Ronan would have suggested himself, but even just thinking about it feels like comfort.]

[ wanda smiles softly. ] Mine too.

[ trying to recreate all the dishes she remembers as a young child has been difficult for various reasons, but wanda's liked feeling connected to her childhood and mother. she imagines somnium may feel the same way about stew. ]

What kind of stews did she make? Every single one you can think of? Beef?

[She gets a soft smile for that. Not that he expects she would understand the strangeness of his family, but that was alright.]

Beef. Lamb. Venison, sometimes. With potatoes and onions and.. stuff.

[He shrugs a little bit sheepishly. He hadn't really been paying attention most of the time. Mom cooked and Ronan would appear and devour it like it was a competition with his two brothers- which it sort of was.]

Edited 2023-02-27 12:53 (UTC)

[ wanda smiles brightly at that. the mere mention of those ingredients is enough to make her mouth water at the memory of a stew she used to eat happily. ]

My mother used to make this very, very nice beef stew. She learned it from this woman who was known for her cooking. You could smell her food above everything else.

[ above all the smoke and soot and blood of sokovia. wanda leaves that out; it's a little too depressing of a note. ]

I can teach you it. It has beef and sometimes sausage, and lots and lots of potatoes. You can add anything you want to it and it will still taste good.

seafood crab salad. u need: crabmeat 4 oz. can shrimp (optional) 2-3 green onions, chopped 2 celery stalks, diced 1/2 cup of mayo 1/4 cup sour cream salt & pepper for taste, start w/ 1/4. tsp. each 1/4 tsp. dried dill directions. 1. catch/get crab 2. chop and shred the crab in a large bowl 3. add all the ingredients, mix it well 4. refrigerate 2-3 hrs or overnight for the flavors to melt together. if ure coldblood, u can use ur ice power to speed up the process a lil. 5. enjoy. 6. u can get even more creative like stuffing it into a sandwich which is what i do. up to 6 servings, prep time is 15mins, cook time is 0 mins. so total time is just 15mins. ure welcome. dont say i didnt do anything for u, dum dum. 😋

Edited 2023-02-19 16:46 (UTC)

okay shithead so how do you catch a crab anyway? fishing rods, spears, nets with flashing lights to get their attention, maybe blow something up for good measure?

[The profanity doesn't seem to be particularly cruel, but Ronan's idea of casual insults was honed and refined over several years of high school and several months of Joseph Kavinsky.]

OH OOH OH! u just said the MAGIC WORD!!! blowing stuff up!! thats what im into. i bet throwing a bomb in the ocean will have them come up or piss off the ocean god or whatev. u might die doing that. or if u dont want to do that maybe ask the fish merchants? they sell sea stuff. maybe they have some.

Edited 2023-02-21 17:31 (UTC)

i mean, if you're into blowing stuff up
i've got a couple molotovs
i was saving them for a recreational opportunity

oh, fish merchants?
yeah, i'll do that.
bet they're better at not blowing up the crabs.

[Is he joking? It's hard to tell.]

oh my gosh!!! see this why im starting to love this place way more ppl are into the KABOOMing stuff than back home. its like i found my ppl. WE SHOULD START A BOMB CLUB!

( huh, this is something up his alley and that's rare to see. )

Anything specific you're looking to learn to cook?

I mean, I'm not that picky. So pretty much anything that tastes good. Pizza would be nice, though.

[It wouldn't be Nino's, but it'd be familiar. Nothing about this place was normal, and for the most part that was good, but having a good sausage pizza once in a while would be a definite improvement. And it seemed like the sort of thing that he could surprise Kavinsky with.

And well, Ronan was the sort of teenage boy that basically subsisted off of fast food and delivery when allowed to.]

Pizza. Kind of a specialty.

( though, not of the basic 'put some pepperoni on the dough and go with it' type. )

You looking for basic and simple or something adventurous?

[Ronan grins, a hint of amusement.]

It's a good specialty to have.

Well, the place I was before here- there was this place that had an awesome sausage deep dish that I basically lived off of for the last year and half. So, adventurous is good.

[And Ronan did tend to be a quick study with things he could be bothered to pay attention to- pizza certainly made the list.]

That's a good kind of pizza. I haven't done it in awhile but I do my own dough and all. Makes it better.

( more authentic. )

You up for that?

Hell yeah.

[Ronan wasn't too stuck on authentic, but he did agree about the whole making-it-better thing. And it'd be even better to surprise Kavinsky with. So he was on board.]

I promise I'll need all the pointers you can spare, but I like a challenge.

I can give you a lot of pointers but I won't do the work for you. Let you have that challenge.

( spread his pizza making wings so to speak. )

[sansa is poised on her couch in a grey woolen dress embroidered with silvery greenery and shadowy ravens. her direwolf, lady, is draped over the rest of the couch, in a matching padded embroidered collar. sansa's mouth curves sympathetically to one side.]

I wasn't even allowed in the kitchens before I came here. People trained for years to be cooks, where I was. Someone had to tell me what a tablespoon was, and how to use the oven machines. If you need help with all that, I can do it. Otherwise I can send you a recipe for mushroom and onion pies. You can put the filling on noodles or toast as well. I know a lot of recipes for sweets, too, if you like them.

[she pauses, a little hesitant.]

Being in the ocean felt familiar. It felt like my dreams. I don't remember ever feeling like a fish, though, or swimming.

[very different to warging a leopard seal!! she smiles again, faintly.]

It's good to meet you. I'm Sansa Stark.

[Sorry Sansa, but Ronan's attention immediately snaps to the direwolf. He can tell immediately that it's a wolf and not a dog, and his delight is visible on his face, softens his blue eyes just a little.]

Oh, that's badass. What's her name? It is a girl, right?

[He was assuming from the embroidered collar; it seemed less like something you'd put on a male wolf. But, there were people who put pink collars on male bulldogs, so he knew it wasn't a precise measure by any account. The respectable-looking young woman on the video just didn't seem the type. She seemed like she'd just walked out of one of his father's stories, honestly. He could imagine her holding either a sword or a rose, depending on the tale.]

I can work the oven okay, but stuff like tablespoons might be helpful. I've been sort of- approximating so far? But I'd definitely be interested in that recipe. And I love sweets. Have you ever had chocolate peanuts?

[He plucks one of them off the vine, which is certainly not how they're usually made!! But Ronan is a strange creature and tends to shape the world to his whims. He holds it up in example, wiggling it back and forth, and then tosses it in the air, catching it in his mouth with a grin.]

In my dreams, sometimes I'm something.. stranger. And it felt like I remembered- being shaped differently. Being told what fingers were. Crazy, right?

[He laughs, a little bit sheepish. He's shaped like a boy, but something else just beneath the skin.]

You too. I'm Ronan Lynch.

Why would ordering food make you mean?

...what?

You said it made you a jerk

what are you even talking about?

[It takes him a moment to grasp this weirdo's confusion.]

...are you like five or something?

[His kneejerk is to be an asshole, but it also seems like the sort of thing Orphan Girl would have gotten confused about. And he sort of misses the little puke.

But he's not explaining himself.
He hates phones.]

what i said was that as someone who is sort of a jerk and also had a lot of money i didnt cook much
who the hell would i cook for?
and so i ordered a lot of food instead

[Fuck.]

I'm 9.

... you could always cook for yourself. It might taste better that way.

I can teach you how to make poptarts and bagel bites? They're not quite as low effort as the shit you can just pop in a toaster oven but they kind of itch that scratch if you make enough and put 'em away. I also have a few great soup recipes that are perfect for canning. [ oh god she sounds like martha fucking stewart. she used to be just like ronan before she wound up here: a frozen or boxed meal kind of girl. ]

Also, I don't remember much from when I was a squid but what I do remember is kind of... dreamy, I guess. Like out of reach in my mind.

Man, that'd be kickass. I know shit's not gonna be as easy as back home, but it'd be cool to have some stuff to itch the scratch. And I've never had an issue putting food away.

[He laughs behind a grin for a moment.]

You up for telling me more about canning? I grew up on a farm, but I never really paid attention.

[Story of his life.]

Yeah? I dunno. I'm usually- good with dreams, so maybe it's just more or something.

[He doesn't really believe that, but it's a comforting thought for the moment: or at least a break from his hovering identity crisis.]

I'll send you the recipes and maybe some ingredients. A lot of things can be hard to find right about now. [ It was harder to get fresh ingredients in the winter, not unless you had a greenhouse or knew someone who did, and it was both rare and expensive to get them on the streets. Even canned and preserved goods could get pricey during a rough week. ]

It's a way to preserve certain foods in glass jars. They gotta be boiled to kill off bacteria and then get sealed up until ready to use. It's kind of a bitch to do but useful in this crazy ass place. [ It's a shit explanation, please forgive her. ] Gaia and I will be doing a few lessons on food preservation later this month if you're wanting something more in-depth.

Maybe you've been here before?

Yeah, I definitely miss the fully-stocked-shelves-24/7 sort of grocery stores from back home, for sure. So you know, if you can spare some stuff, I'll definitely write you an I.O.U. for later. Or if there's anything you need, I'm pretty good at finding stuff.

Maybe even a toaster oven.

[He laughs like it's a joke, but it also isn't really, because Ronan is a perpetually strange creature.]

That sounds both useful and like a pain in the ass. So yeah, I'll keep an eye out.

You're telling me. I never thought I'd miss a Wal-Mart but here we are. [ She dreams of boxed macaroni & cheese and instant ramen and pop-tarts with the preservatives and crinkly foiled wrappings. ] I definitely have shit to spare, though, and an IOU won't be necessary but maybe when Spring comes around you can help me finish my greenhouse.

And if you find a toaster oven, let me know because holy shit.

Well, the squid thing did feel like I'd been something like that before, but that's because I have. Sort of.

So it felt that way to you, too? But you don't remember ever being a squid or a sea monster or anything like that before?

Yeah. Like- to be fair, I don't remember when I was really young that well. And I've.. forgotten things before, let's say, until someone else reminds me. So it's not impossible that I was and I just forgot.

[He looks at the kid with a curious sort of tilt to his head. When he was dreaming, sometimes water and air were the same thing.]

I've always hated standing on the ground. I thought I wanted to fly, but in the ocean swimming felt sort of like the same thing.

So what about you? Are you a sea creature?

[His tone is fascinated, not judgmental, and also- hopeful, so hopeful.]

I am! Here, let me show you.

[He rushes off, then comes back with a glass of water. He pours it onto his hand, and his hand suddenly is covered in green scales.]

I didn't go on land for the first time until I was thirteen.

Considering how many times I've been turned into an animal by now, being a squid really doesn't give me as much dissonance as it might have years ago. The last time I came back from being one wasn't at all pleasant.

Really? What sort of other animals have you been turned into?

[He does mark the mention of it being unpleasant the last time he came back, but Ronan has Disney Princess type inclinations under his asshole veneer. So the mention of turning into animals is a sure way to get his attention; he's always struggled with his inability to fly when he was awake.

Also, Maul is the first person to respond who is clearly, obviously, not-human, and it makes Ronan smile, breathe a little bit easier. His skin might look human, but he's never felt it: always known better.]

Were there any that were pleasant? I've been a tree sometimes.

Let's see.... [He counted them off on his fingers.] Cat, dinosaur, deer, and human.

[Yes, he was counting humans. Any of them who wanted to protest they weren't also animals could lump it. Considering he could now fill up his transformations entirely on one hand, this was getting to be a bit ridiculous, but Maul knew they'd probably continue into the future if the Pthumerians had anything to say about it.]

Well, none of the transformations had any actual pain attached to them that I can remember. As a deer, I just collapsed into purple dust and reformed as one.

[There was a pause. Had he heard that correctly?]

A.....tree?

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