Deer Country Network

July 2023

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Posts Tagged: 'karkat+vantas:+milk'

May. 19th, 2022

thisislife: (money notoriety and rivieras)
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video: un; an.observer

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[the video opens on Lexi, sitting on the couch in her very blue living room, with Orville in his usual place on Lexi's shoulder, snuffling into her hair, and the new addition to the household, Nosferatmew perched on the arm of the couch, her batwings folded on her back]

Hey! Um. I know I don't post that much, but I kind of have an announcement?

And that announcement is, I'm opening a used books and comics store called the Satellite of Love Used Books and Comics! It's in Willful Machine in the green craftsman house and that takes me to my second announcement. Or, uh, request? Maybe that's better. [pause] Yeah, that's better.

Hours will be Monday through Friday from nine am to five pm, closed from noon to one for lunch, along with Saturday and Sunday, eleven am to two pm. Obviously, I can't handle all of that by myself. Right? So I'm looking for a couple of employees.

Interviews for anyone who's interested can be done here and you can choose between store products or trade goods for pay.

So...I guess that's it? I hope to see you there? Oh, and the store mascot will be Nosferatmew. My batcat. She's very well trained to not bite unless you give her permission to.

Okay, now that's it.
deadboywalking: ([:|] i'm literally in hell)
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video; un: will.byers (accidental)

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[The classic accidental video: the image starts, aimed at the corner of a messy dining room, with a table piled high in half-assembled cardboard boxes and stacks of paper covered in various pizza-related logos. There's no people in the frame, so it must be just a Trench-ish mishap, as is wont to happen.

Except there is a living thing in the video -- maybe? It's a horse that many folks in the town might be familiar with, though even more might be completely unfamiliar with it. It stands in the corner of the dining room.

And it stares.

And it stares.

Unblinking, unmoving, unbreathing, eyes cold and pale like a dead thing, the only light in the endless black of it's nightmarish horror body. It stares and it knows. It sees the innermost thoughts of man and beast and it is unmoved. It is endless, it is eternal. There is nothing but the horse.

And then, with a flicker of static, it's just -- gone. There's no moving, no steps out of frame, it's just suddenly not there anymore. Instead the video continues for a moment, focused on nothing, before flickering out.

In the silence, comes a voice, like the slithering of dark, wet things, ghosting over your fingertips in the middle of the night:
]

Buy the pizza.

[A very creative ad campaign, maybe? But still, Upsetting.]

May. 17th, 2022

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Video | 1stStrike | Karate Tournament Video Companion

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[The feed opens up to an aerial shot of the Gate but things are a little different than normal. The normal blood curdling screams of monsters being slain is absent. There is no blood being spilled. In the middle of the arena two large wooden sparring stages have been erected instead, both lined with blue mats with a golden fist in the middle. Johnny Lawrence knew that would bring in the crowd. The omen broadcasting the feed swoops down toward the matts directly at the fist, just before it looks like it might crash it twirls in midair before breaking away and flying toward a podium set up where the two robotic commentators of the tournament are seated. The omen lands on a perch before settling in on a shot of the two commentators.]

Salutations, Trench, and welcome to the First Annual Great Trench Karate Tournament! My name is Penny Polendina--

--and I'm K.

--and together we'll be providing commentary for the competition. Let's meet our instructors!

First, we have Professor Ozpin of Beacon Academy!


Wait, I think...

[ There's a rustling of papers. ]

--Oh, a slight correction. Professor Ozpin is here representing Clockhouse Academy.

[ From the crowd, Black Alice interjects: ] I wanna see all you morons kick butt!

[ Ozpin steps forward, hands folded very delicately over his filigreed cane. ]

Good morning, citizens of Trench. Today, we come together to share a moment of unity among Sleepers... and to celebrate the strength, skill, and bravery of those who would train to fight as heroes. In this world, we live under the constant shadow of violence. If I may share a lesson--

[ Ozpin doesn't get to finish his introduction, however. At this point Johnny pushes his way forward and shoves Ozpin out of the way. ]

--We don’t have time for one of your lessons, nerd! But I’ve got a lesson for you all!

[ Johnny holds a fist close to his chest. ]

That lesson is that the older you get the more you're going to learn that life isn't fair. You wake up in the morning feeling great. Then life turns around and gives you a spinning heel kick to the balls and takes a steaming shit in your mouth. Your pal gets stuck in a cocoon, you break out into literal beehives or turn into a giant fucking monster. You fall in love with a guy… He breaks up with you and starts kissing a nerd.

[ From the gathered competitors one can hear Deku, angrily and slightly feral, interject with: ] SENSEI! WE'RE ALL KISSING!!

Someone drops a tongue at your door, then goes batshit when you try to feed it to him. Just when you think things are going good it falls apart, that's how it goes. Life shows no mercy so neither do we! We do whatever it takes to keep our heads above water, we do whatever it takes to keep moving forward, we do whatever it takes to win!

Remember who you are: You're badass, you don't give a shit, you kick ass, you're Cobra Kai.

[ Also from the students, Sayo gives a shout of: ] Cobra Kai!

...Or Super Awesome Ninja School, or Dongspin's Boys, or the Holy Eagle. Okay that last one is actually pretty badass.

Uh.. that was Johnny Lawrence of Cobra Kai!

Certainly an... inspiring speech from sensei Lawrence, providing an illuminating glimpse into the lives of his students. ...A tongue?

Second, we have Terry Silver of... wait, what?

Yes, I believe they're both...

... Ahem. Terry Silver, also of Cobra Kai!

[ Terry's been awkwardly watching Johnny this entire time like his speech just made him die inside a little. ]

Let's all just have fun, be good sports, and play fair.

A sentiment I think we all can get behind.

And here is Sasuke Uchiha and his Super Awesome Ninja School!

Don't screw this up.

Always a man of few words. Speaking as a student of the Super Awesome Ninja School, I'd just like to say that Sasuke has proved himself to be a very capable teacher, as his other students will no doubt demonstrate. Also, the bear rumours are entirely true.

And finally, Amaterasu! ... Is that an actual dog?

And isn't she adorable. Look at that smile!

[ She is, indeed, a dog, and her speech consists of a single bark. ]

... Well! You heard it here folks: "Woof!"

Truly wise words from miss Amaterasu. Who's a good girl? Is it you? Yes, it is! --Ahem.

And that's it for our competing schools! Hayato Ichimonji will be serving as referee, and Clark Griffin will be the medic on call.

To all of our participants, good luck and have fun!

[ Johnny steps forward with one last message for the students. ]

Alright guys now let's get out there and kick the shit out of everyone!

[ He then raises his arm up before pointing it specifically at Sasuke.]

I want to see that twink obliterated.

[OOC: Please find the Tournament Log here and feel free to jump in.


Red is for Johnny Lawrence
Green is for Penny Polendina.
The darker Green is for Ozpin.
Navy Blue is for K.
Blue is for Terry Silver
Violet is for Sasuke.]

May. 14th, 2022

nothinglikea: (my love grows a little stronger)
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TEXT - Anonymous

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I need something else to concentrate on.

What do you do when you think you like someone?

How can you be sure?

And if you are sure, how do you proceed?

Apr. 14th, 2022

kyley_b: https://mcnuggyy.tumblr.com/ (uhmm)
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video; UN: TripleJ

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[Hey, look who has a face again! And he looks like he's actually slept recently.]

Uh. Hi. If you don't know me, I'm Kyle. This is like, extremely awkward feeling, but I'm gonna do this anyway.

It's Passover season. You wanna come for Seder? You can come to my place in Gaze. It's uh, behind an empty storefront called Bi the Garage, just take the stairs up to the second floor. Open invite to anybody, just like... don't show up and try to kill anyone 'cause I absolutely will kick your ass. And if I die, my boyfriend will destroy you so like, don't even bother.

Obviously the menu might be uh, a little different? Because we live in the fucking mushroom kingdom and stuff. Also I'm not orthodox so don't expect this to be like... hardcore. But I'm gonna do my best. Show up on Friday I guess anytime since it's ALL after sundown now, so... yeah. If you show up early I'll put you to work, though.

So. Yeah. Use this space to introduce yourselves to each other and stuff, I'm not your mom.

Chag Pesach Sameach.


[eta OOC: feel free to mingle below, and if you want to thread anything you can use Kyle's house of course. I'm going to be handwaving due to illness.]

Apr. 6th, 2022

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01 | intheflesh

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So. Little Trenchlets. I've been here for awhile- [She has been here four days]- and it's hard to keep track of all these people I keep hearing about. So many rumors flying about and it's all so fucking juicy.

So, I'm alone, horny for context, and ready to show mine if you show me yours.

I heard there was a huge party thrown at a house in gaze. A bunch of teens drinking, doing drugs, and kissing with tongues that they just don't know how to use, and providing uninteresting details about alien worms. Completely trashed the place.

Even worse, I heard they robbed the man who let them into his house. Thankfully, he'd warded the objects so if you see a shifty-looking kid or two with their hand blown off, now you know why! There's a moral lesson in there... probably.

Now it's your turn. You don't even have to sign your name. I'm that thirsty for the D(eets).


((Feel free to have your character post "anonymously" about rumors they may have heard about events or themselves in the trench or rumors they want to make up! I highly encourage threadjacking and silliness. Of course, keep it IC, civil, and consider asking permission from others if you think you should.))

Feb. 18th, 2022

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voice; un: taka

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[ Sasuke thought about asking this through text. He likely should have, because his emotions have been strong lately, a lot stronger than he wants them to be, and his anger has been nearly as quick and hot as it was when he was on his path of revenge. But it feels cheap somehow to ask such an important question via text. He can't do video due to his eyes, so he tries to keep his voice even to conceal just how much this question means to him.

The feed is silent for a little longer than is probably natural, but he's still figuring out how to us his omni, so. Y'know. Be gentle here.

Finally, it picks up a sigh that almost sounds annoyed. ]


How did the world treat orphans where you're from? Was there an age where someone was considered a child versus an adult? Were there children who were considered unworthy of help or were the rules in place blanketed towards all children?

[ There's a pause where he realizes he should make it seem like this is less about, y'know, him, and more about curiosity on how to help kids here maybe. Uhhhh... ]

... Would there be things from your world that you would want to see offered to the children in this one?

Feb. 2nd, 2022

klawful: (Binx)
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video | carcinoGeneticist

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(This was the stupidest idea he has had in at least three sweeps. At least. But he was trying to be nice. And helpful. Or something. Karkat has his omen start recording him. Karkat is sitting on the ground, legs folded together. It's immediately evident he's not a human: gray skin, black claws, definitive fangs, and a pair of candy corn horns. The only thing he has kept concealed are his eyes. A pair of black goggles sit over them so they remain hidden.)

It has been brought to my attention that some of you are mentally... --- (He physically grimaces, clenching his fangs together, voice rough. His hands curl into tight fists. You can do it, Karkat. Don't be offensive! You got this!)

Mentally underdeveloped- (His omen shakes its head. Nope. That's not nice, Karkat.) Okay, mentally...What?! (He screeches at his omen. There's some silent communication going on before finally, Karkat takes a deep breath.)

Oh, fuck it. Some of you are total noobs about technology. Shut up, Keymo, that's as nice as it's getting. These ingrates are lucky I'm not -- okay! Fuck, I'll keep-

(There's an animal growl that rumbles out of him, his teeth chattering together briefly before finally he tugs out his Omni.)

Instructional video time, asswads. This is your Omni. Most of you excuses for sentient beings don't seem to be aware of some the basic functions behind this thing's existence. Let's go through it. (DEEP BREATH.)

First off, I have no idea why people don't seem to know this yet, but these are blood magic-based. And telepathic. It's so fucking obvious... Anyway. Observe, plebs.

(He sets the Omni down and proceeds to smash the shit out of it with his fist. It doesn't break. He whips it at the nearby wall and again, it doesn't break. He puts it into his mouth and clashes it around in his fangs - it doesn't break. Not so much as a crack.) Friggan ta-da.

(Then he gets up and moves towards the edge of the area he was sitting in. Which was apparently in a cave because there's just a bottomless black pit. He drops his Omni off the side.)

Oh no, I lost my Omni. Oh, fucking...wait a second! (He turns back around towards the camera and kneels down. Whips out a vial of warmblood and pools it into his palm. After a few seconds, there's a new Omni.)

No I didn't! Damn! It's almost like this place runs on blood magic or some shit! (He holds the Omni up against his head.) What's that? You naturally connect to my brain through blood magic? Holy shit!

(He turns the Omni around and shows his touch keyboard - which has Alternian font instead of any earth letters.) Woooow!

(He sets the Omni down and flicks around a few settings. That's when the movie Hitch begins projecting on a nearby cave wall. Ableit, heavily distorted due to the rock walls.)

Oh my God, you can do what with the Omni? Wow. Amazing. I am so fucking enthralled by this rock. (Karkat, you could learn to give a lesson that isn't scathing in sarcasm and judgment.)

I will generously allow questions now. That is all.

Jan. 12th, 2022

kyley_b: art uncredited - pm me if you know (kyley-b!)
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video; UN: TripleJ

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[The hair. Oh dear god, the hair. Kyle's recognizable mass of curls has been gelled within an inch of its life and sculpted into a wavy helmet. And where are his sleeves?!]

Yo Trench, what up what up, it's ya boy Kyley-B!

So's I need a little help here - anybody know a place in town where you can get some dope-ass ink? Because, you know, if you look up 'too much swag' in the dictionary, there'll be a great big picture of my face, and attitude like that deserves the best, you know what I'm sayin'?

Help a guy out here.

PEACE!

Jan. 8th, 2022

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video UN: vault thief

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[opening up, amara is beaming at the camera. she's clearly in an alleyway of the willful machine, if the light and bustle a little ways off from her is any indication. she has a huge bag of popcorn in one hand, the other holding the omni-- her signature tattoos glow across her arms and neck, though right now they're a bright orange instead of the usual blue.]

Yoooo! This market has orange popcorn! You have no idea how long it's been since I've had some! [a truly unfortunate and very strange looking dog briefly pops into frame as it makes a lunge for the popcorn with a long, prehensile tongue. amara doesn't seem too bothered by it, responding by lifting the bag up and chiding it;] Not for you, Skag. This is people food.

[moving on...]

I'm Amara! I am known as the Tiger of Partali, the wisest cowboy to ever walk the land and possible brain surgeon! That last one involves a lot more metaphysical punching than you would expect. Anyway! That giant snake is an equally giant pain in the ass, so I'm gonna tear its head off and give it to the Hunters in lieu of a resumé. Anyone down to join? It'll be a fun evening out!

Jan. 6th, 2022

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text | carcinoGeneticist | apologies

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HELLO FELLOW SLEEPERS. I WOULD LIKE TO PUBLICALLY OFFER MY SINCERE CONDOLENCES FOR THE TRICKSTER VIRUS I IMPLEMENTED LAST MONTH. A THEORY OF MINE GOT OUT OF HAND AND PEOPLE HAD TO SUFFER FOR IT WHICH IS 100% MY BAD. I AM SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD LEADER AND INSTEAD, I FAILED YOU ALL. AS PER FUCKING USUAL.

(Karkat. Holy shit. No one thinks you're their leader. Again.)

PAST ME IS ARGUABLY THE MOST WORTHLESS, IDIOTIC TROLL TO HAVE EVER EXISTED IN ANY TIMELINE OR REALITY. TRULY, HE PROBABLY HUFFS CEILING CHIPS TO PUT TOGETHER BASIC SOLUTIONS. THAT GUY IS SUCH AN INSUFFERABLE PIECE OF SHIT SO I FULLY SUPPORT YOUR (PLATONIC) HATRED OF HIM. HE'S AN ASSHOLE.

TO BE HONEST, I WOULD SUPPORT YOUR HATRED OF CURRENT ME TOO. YOUR FEELINGS OF HATE ARE COMPLETELY APPROPRIATE GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF ME ROYALLY FUCKING SHIT UP FOR SOME PEOPLE. AGAIN, MY BAD.

I WOULDN'T EVEN JUDGE YOU FOR HATING FUTURE ME EITHER.


...


ANYWAY. NOW I HAVE TO EXTRAPOLATE A VERY CRUCIAL POINT: IF YOU CLICK ON A LINK SOME RANDO SENT YOU ON THE INTERNET, YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON. YOU ARE THE DOWNFALL OF YOUR OWN SPECIES AND YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY FEEL LIKE THE BIGGEST IDIOT IN IDIOTSVILLE. CONGRATULATIONS, DICKBAG, I HAVE CRAFTED A DUNCE CROWN SPECIFICALLY FOR YOU. YOU ARE NOW THE MAYOR OF MORONS. DOES IT FEEL SPECIAL TO BE SO STUPID? DO YOU FEEL CONTENT IN YOUR ABYSMAL DEN OF DERELICT THINK FUNCTIONS?

I BET YOU DO, YOU GODDAMN PROTOZOIC ORGANISM. YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN MOTHERFUCKING PWNED BY THE MOST BASIC VIRUS SPREAD EVER AND IF YOU ARE EMBARRASSED, I WANT TO OFFER YOU A FIRM CLAP ON THE SHOULDER. YOU SHOULD FEEL EMBARRASSED.

BITCH.


(--Yeah, okay. Just ignore him. As he said, he gives you full permission to hate current and future him too. Starting now.)

Dec. 1st, 2021

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🍒🍭ƎᗡOM ЯƎTꙄ⋊ƆIЯT🍭🍒 | un: carcinoGeneticist

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cw: brainwashing/mental alterations/drug themes without the drugs/nsfw themes

EMERGENCY MEMO: READ THIS OR GET FUCKED


ATTENTION INFERIOR SUBCREATURES: YOU MAY BE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER. DO NOT DO ANYTHING STUPID. LET'S COLLECTIVELY HOLD OUR CHILL. I'M TRYING TO GET THIS UP AS QUICKLY AS I CAN BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE. I MUST BEGRUDGINGLY ADMIT THAT I HAVE MADE AN UNFORTUNATE ERROR AND Į̵̰̱̼̤̰̤̝͔̦̌͝ ̷̠̰͇͓̙̰̲̈͝M̵̱̪̈́̊̐̒A̷̡̹̩̦̱̞͓̭̐̃́͊̚Y̴̨̲̭͍̱͈̣͙͍͂́̆̆̄̆͝͠ ̶̢͈̳̲̅̇̄̄͂͜H̸̡̻̤̎̋͒͋̉͘A̸̡͇͚̮͉͙͓̳̍ͅͅV̸͎̪̆̀̃̇̏͝E̷͉̣͎͌̀̈́̚͝ ̷̲̮͍̮̮̝̌̊̋͋̎̋̇̀̄̏͜͜ͅC̴̨͓͖͍̓̉͊ͅŔ̸̛̯̻̯́̎̓͗͗̎̐͐Ē̸̢̤̄̐A̵̙̳̾̈́́̅̽̄̎̐͝T̶̡̧̧͓͚̲͉͓̔́̂̍E̷̤̻̜̫͎͍̱͔̪̊͝D̶͖̺̋̀̽͌̉͑̄̋ ̸̞͈̖̝̄̊̈̀̄̅Ȃ̴̝̱̪͙́̀̌ ̵̛̣̱̪͌̈́͐͛́͊̔̅̕V̷̤̥̯̤̏͒͗̈̿̈́̒̓Ḯ̶͔͇̭̱̥͇̞̃̀̆͝R̶͇͙͔͎̫͙̆̊̒Ú̶̡̘̣͓̩͍̙͖̓͒̇͂̓͒́̕̕S̴̪̱̠͔̭͉̖̻̉͒̆̈́̍̈́̿͘

M̷̨̥̫̻̖͖̟͂͑̏̌͌̾ͅA̸͍̠̖̝̱̥̿̈́̀̂̏͠͝K̶͍̞͍̱͇̅̇͋̏͆̚Ę̴̧͖͙̤̲̱͙̓̅́͂̔͋ͅ ̶͙̬̱̬̞͆͆̅͝Š̷̖͈̝̎̈̿̈́͐̂̒̔̓͜Ủ̵̢̹̹̲̣͊̆Ṛ̴̢̲̝͙̬̱͚͊̀̓E̶̺̤̹͚͂̒̏̈́̓̿̃͝ ̴̖̪͈̝̥̝̩̭̹͌̉͆̀̀̈́͊͘͝ͅŃ̵̻͚̥͐̈́̓̚O̴̢̢̖̜̯̹͈̳͆̈́Ṫ̴̪͕͓͙͔̳̭̆̔̈́͛̆͜͝ ̴̡̔͌̑̊̑͌̅̍Ţ̸͙̭͓͎̼̹̩͑̒̈́͂͑̈́̉̂̚͜Ò̴̢̭͔̞͇̰̙̟̼̈́̆ ̵̡̢̼̱̖͕͔̙̖̻͛̐͂̾̈́́͗̓̕͘O̶̢̤̹̭̓́͑̎̇̽̅̈́̄͝P̴̭̌̃͝Ę̵͍̟̜͍̓̏̕Ň̷̟̣̤̉͋̇̿̽̚͝͝ ̵̼̘̄͂́̈́̂̆̓̚͜͝A̸̘̭̞̫̤̠͓̼͌̃̈N̸̮̰̟͎͚̤̏̾͛͛̿̀̾͠ͅY̵̡̖̺̗̮̦̻͚͗́̀̉ ̴̄͋̌̂̄̾̚͜͝R̴̨̖͍͔̩͇͇̜̙͓̈̅͝͝Ą̷͂́͛͋̆̽̽̃͆̀N̵̯͌̍͑͌̔͊͝Ḑ̵̩̦͉̣̓̏O̷̢̮̞̖̩͚̎̏̊͛͂̚̚M̸̫̙̣̱̱͔̝͍̥̖̂́̿̓͐͐̋̚̚͝ ̷̨̧͍̦̖͔̪̘͆Ḽ̴̨̤̹̃̎̂́͗̄̾́ͅI̵̪͓̦͙͙͕͖͓͓̖̿̂͑̒̄̍̓N̵̯͚̱̠͑K̸̢̛͔̠̺̩̰̮͇̀͊͆͐̒͋S̷̨̧̡̙̜͓̗͍̈́̓̄̑̍̆̚͝ͅ ̴̖̬̖̲̬̣͈̗̹̩̓̓̊̄Į̷̤͇̭̙̘̾̓̾̆͗͝ ̵̢͍͉͓̮͚̫͚͒͛̐̅͋͛͘S̴̻͙̅̆̈̂͒̔̔̕͘͝Ȩ̶̡͆͛̔͂̓̚N̶̨̨̟̳̯̰̤̗͖͇̑͋͑̍͠D̸̘̜̟̖̽ ̵̖̼̐͌͊͌Y̸͖̥̻̖͓̘̟̻͒̐̕̚Ó̴̝̿̃̉͆̀̃͆̔Ư̵̢̲̥̩̩̔́̋͑ ̴̢̛̟̜̩̘̥̆̑̾͗̓͛̈́͆͘Į̵͈̺̦̳͖̩͍̗̮͑̅N̴̜͚̜͔̲͈̣̏̏̅̄̀͘ ᗡIꟼUTꙄ OꙄ MA I ⋊ƆUꟻ ⋊ƆUꟻ ᎮͶI⋊ƆUꟻ

G̸͎̮̈́̊Ơ̴̢̯͕̤̩̦̰̟̲̆̅̅͊͗̚͝ͅD̷̠̫̺̓̓̓̔̍̆̂ ̵̠̣̖̹̼̂̒͘F̴̡̟̠̣͈͕̅͝Ụ̷̖̓̈̈́̏̍͐̅̕C̴̨̡͓̰̥͕̼̯̰̃̈́̅̒̅Ķ̴̼̂̐I̷̡̢̚Ń̸͉̟͖̜̘͚̹̓̈́͑ͅG̸̨̤̘͚̥̹̘͓̒͛̆͂̈́ ̸̢̨͎̰̳̎̐̈́͝D̷͖̬̤̭̦̀̆̅̂͊̽̽͆͂͌Å̶̙͎̹͊͛M̵̝̳̤͙̠̞̳̓̒̏Ñ̸̖̮͓̦̖͖̣̈͜͜ ̴̛̻̼̉͂͛Į̴̛͓͙̂̂̈́̓͝T̴̢̗̘̘̱̭͌͐̈́ ̸͍̚
̵͓̝͍͎͚͔͖̿̿̑͌̏͝Î̶̘͓̞̮̺̦̦̩͋̆͊͜F̷͔̹̽̏̇͊̐̉͊̕ ̸̳̟̪̮̣̀̌̃͜͝Y̶̗͚͔̦̤̤͍̩͂O̶͖͌̐͐̓̆̆͝Ȕ̸̧͍̹̫̭̤̬͆̔́̂́ ̷͚͚̖̯̠͔̲̝͈͊͜͝C̷̝͇̼̿̇̌̉̃A̶̮͔͍͙̜͉̣̗͇͒͒̾͂̒̀̎͒Ṇ̵̝͔̩̺̱̣̗̼̒̎ ̴͇̝̪̂̂̇̒́̌̌U̶̘͌̾̊̿̽͘N̷̡͚̦͈̠͗̈́̎͋͋͜͝C̵̢͖͕͕̗͠R̶̨͉̦͍̗͙̐̃̌̇̐͛̑̀͜Y̷͎̿̀͛P̶͙̙̦̯͉̩̫̙̉T̶̫̪̗̽͗̐̓̈́͗͝ ̷̢̼̦̯͛Ṫ̴̡̡͎͍̖̻͍͉̺̝͆̓̄͊̌̍̈́̾̿Ḥ̸͇͓̗̩͈̭͖́̈́̈́̓͗̎͛͝ͅǏ̸̳S̷͓͖̲̠̗̝͕̐̃̆̾̎̏ ̷̬̘̦̬̫̭̏͌̈̈́͆̇̀͊̂̚Y̶͍̤̓̾͋̾́̑̕O̶̠͖̭͍̥͊̓̂̃̇Ư̶̳̪̦̾͒̔̑͂͠ ̸̭̼̥̖̺̜̫̥̱͚̈́̿̍̒̏̅A̷̧̻̙͔̘͕̠͖̋̇R̵̛͙̘̗̣͇͐͑͊͌͒̄̈́͋͝E̷̛͚̬̙̫͎͔͕͗̅̀͗̋̑̕͜͠
̷̲͎͈̘͚͈͕̣̅̋̈́Ḭ̵̢̼̣̐͘͜͝O̵̧̤͚͚̞͉̠̯͇̩͝n̷̡̧̟̺͈͖̰̹̤͆̌͌̄͝͝͝ͅm̴̰̝͉̼̩̥̗̰̑̇͒͝f̶̮̘̻͖̙̜̻͓̙͑̃̓͂͊̀̈̚D̵͍̓͋̓̊͒͌̓͂g̷̡̰̰̪͂f̴͉̞̻̊̿̈́̿̍͊́̒͝͠k̷̝͙̇̋̾̄͂̕s̸̛͉̥̋͛͗͝͝ͅͅj̴̨̡͇̭̹̬̰̯̤̣̾̀̐̽̐ḍ̸̢̜̖̣͓̲͍̄̈̓̓̍̇̂̊́͝g̶̼̯̯͌̄́̍̔̑̉̅͝
̶̛̠̦͚̜̺͇͓͍̟͒̑͑̊́̈́̔̕͜g̷̛͈͇̱̩̩͉̿̋̒̎f̶̡̛̝̺͙̭̳̹̓͋̏̈̿̉k̶̭̺̜͍͕̈́͗̓̉̉͒͘̚̕f̶̜̖̭̞̉̐̾͠g̴̨͚͚͍̣̥̈́̏͝ͅ
]|I{•------» ғ𝕦к «------•}I|[
]|I{•------» Processing «------•}I|[




WOW!!!!! THAT WAS CLOSE!!!! HAHAHAHA. YOU WERE ALL ABOUT TO BE MADE INTO GRUBSAUCE. PRACTICALLY A ROOKIE MISTAKE THERE.

BUT FEAR NOT, YOUR COMPASSIONATE AND INCREDIBLY INTELLIGENT LEADER THOUGHT ON HIS FEET AND SAVED YOU ALL FROM A CATACLYSMIC MISERY. YOU CAN THANK ME NOW. YOU ARE SO WELCOME. THE ONLY THING I ASK IN EXCHANGE FOR KEEPING YOU ALL SAFE IS YOUR ABSOLUTE LOVE AND DEVOTION TO ME FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE ❤️

OR ELSE. HAHA!

TO COLLECTIVELY RECOVER FROM THAT SCARE, LET US RELAX WITH THE MUSIC OF A DIFFERENT, BETTER, SIMPLER TIME.

WATCH WITH ME.

NOW, IS IT ME, OR IS THIS THE BEST TIME OF YEAR FOR SLOPPY MAKE-OUT SESSIONS? WE SHOULD ALL KISS AND CHILL OUT. EVERYONE'S SO STRESSED LATELY. WE JUST NEED TO...RELAX.


(Enjoy the horrendous, squeaky music and bright flashing lights that will consume your Omni...and your brain! Welcome to Trickster Mode. If you don't fall for the first link, maybe you'll fall for the second! Either will lead to some serious brainwashing!

If you're smart, you probably won't actually open that link. To avoid Trickster Mode - that's all you gotta do! Not fall for this rookie way to get people to put viruses on their tech (and psyche).)

Nov. 2nd, 2021

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Text | un: carcinoGeneticist | Per Romance

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AS SOME PERSONAL ADVICE, SINCE APPARENTLY THIS PLACE IS ABSOLUTELY *INFESTED* WITH HUMANS, I NEED TO INFORM THE MAJORITY OF YOU HOW HUMILIATINGLY SIMPLIFIED YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF ROMANCE IS.

LIKE, SERIOUSLY, IT'S EMBARRASSING, AND SEEING CONSTANT OBLIVIOUS ATTITUDES ABOUT PERFECTLY HEALTHY SOCIAL DYNAMICS MAKES ME WANT TO BE SHOT DIRECTLY INTO EVERY SUN THAT HAS EVER EXISTED AT THE SAME TIME. I SWEAR HALF OF YOU ARE GOING TO DIE ALONE AND IT WILL BE ENTIRELY YOUR OWN FAULT BECAUSE HUMANS ARE SO GODDAMN INCOMPETENT AT THEIR OWN EMOTIONAL SPECTRUM. I HAVE NEVER SEEN A COLLECTIVE SPECIES MORE HELLBENT ON SELF-DESTRUCTION BASED ON NEGLECTING THEIR OWN NATURAL FEELINGS.

I AM AWARE THAT I AM PROBABLY EXTENSIVELY INSULTING YOU NOW INSTEAD OF HELPING YOU. ALL RIGHT, I NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET TO THE POINT BEFORE HALF OF YOU HAVE GLAZED OVER. IF YOU'RE STILL READING THIS, CONGRATULATIONS ON THE FUNCTIONING BRAIN CELLS, REALLY PROUD OF YOU FOR MAKING IT THIS FAR IN AN EXTREMELY SHORT TEXT. LET'S GET ON WITH IT.

FIRST LESSON: YOU HAVE YOUR EMOTIONS FOR A *REASON*. I DO NOT KNOW WHY YOU ALL INSIST ON BURYING EVERY SINGLE NATURAL INSTINCT YOU HAVE LIKE IT'S A HOT PIECE OF SHIT OF SHAME YOU JUST SQUATTED OUT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.

THE GENERAL RULE OF THUMB IS: IF YOUR EMOTIONS FOCUS ON BETTERING YOURSELF, THEY ARE GOOD. IF THEY SERVE TO KEEP SOMEONE ELSE FROM BETTERING THEMSELVES, THEY ARE BAD.

IN MY CULTURE, THE IDEAL ROMANCE INVOLVES BEING THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF POSSIBLE THROUGH YOUR CONNECTIONS TO OTHERS. IN A PERFECT WORLD, YOU HELP YOUR PARTNERS AS MUCH AS THEY HELP YOU AND IT BECOMES THIS BEAUTIFUL SYMBIOTIC SITUATION WHERE EVERYONE CAN MUTUALLY BENEFIT FROM THEIR PERSONAL DYNAMICS.

WHICH LEADS ME TO THE SECOND LESSON: I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHY HUMANS HAVE THIS EXTREMELY NARROW, SPECIFIC IDEA OF ROMANCE. THERE IS A MULTITUDE OF WAYS TO BE ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH PEOPLE. THERE ARE DIFFERENT WAYS TO LOVE PEOPLE, SO WHY REFUSE THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF RELATIONSHIPS YOU FOCUS ON? WHY PUT ONE RELATIONSHIP ON A PEDESTAL AND LET ALL YOUR OTHER RELATIONSHIPS SUFFER BECAUSE OF IT? THAT ISN'T HEALTHY NO MATTER WHICH QUADRANT YOUR CULTURE IS OBSESSED WITH.

THIRD LESSON: WHERE I COME FROM, WE HAVE ROMANTIC QUADRANTS. LEARN THEM AND BENEFIT FROM THEIR EXISTENCE. YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME AT HOW MUCH THEY WILL DRASTICALLY IMPROVE YOUR SHITTY LIFE AND HOW MUCH SENSE THEY WILL MAKE TO YOUR VARIOUS RELATIONSHIPS:

MATESPRITSHIP: THE FLUSHED QUADRANT IS PROBABLY THE CLOSEST THING TO "TRADITIONAL" HUMAN LOVE. THIS IS AN INDIVIDUAL WHO YOU HAVE STRONG POSITIVE EMOTIONS TOWARDS THAT PROVIDES YOU WITH PLEASURABLE EXPERIENCES BOTH EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY (NOT TO GET TOO NC-17 HERE). THIS IS YOUR MATESPRIT.

MOIRALLEGIANCE: THE PALE QUADRANT IS ALSO A POSITIVE DYNAMIC, HOWEVER, THIS RELATIONSHIP TYPICALLY FOCUSES ON BEING THERE TO PROVIDE ABSOLUTE AND COMPLETE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT TO YOUR PARTNER. IT INVOLVES BEING ABLE TO RECOGNIZE THEIR FLAWS, HELP THEM BE THE BEST VERSION OF THEMSELVES, AND THEM TO DO THE SAME FOR YOU. YOU CALM THEM DOWN WHEN THEY ARE WORKED UP, YOU KEEP THEM SAFE FROM THEMSELVES AND OTHERS. THIS IS YOUR MOIRAIL OR PALEMATE.

KISMESISSITUDE: THE BLACK QUADRANT IS RELIANT ON PURELY NEGATIVE EMOTIONS. THIS IS ABOUT THE HATRED AND ANIMOSITY YOU FEEL TOWARDS ANOTHER. THE KEY HERE IS THAT THIS IS EXTREMELY MUTUAL, WELL-BALANCED, HEALTHY HATRED. MEANING YOU ARE ACTUAL EQUALS IN TERMS OF STRENGTH OR INTELLECTUALITY OR SOMETHING. THE POINT IS *NOT* TO KILL OR DEFEAT YOUR KISMESIS, BUT TO CONSTANTLY CHALLENGE EACH OTHER INTO A BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELVES THROUGH RIVALRY. ALSO YOU PROBABLY WANT TO FUCK THEM. SORRY. THAT'S JUST HOW IT GOES. IT IS EXTREMELY COMMON WHERE I COME FROM FOR THE BLACK AND FLUSHED QUADRANTS TO CONTINUALLY SWITCH. THEY ARE AS EQUALLY ESSENTIAL TO YOUR WELL-BEING SINCE THEY KEEP YOU ON YOUR FUCKING TOES AND RESPECT YOU IN WAYS THE OTHER QUADRANTS MIGHT NOT UNDERSTAND.

THIS RELATIONSHIP IS QUITE TUMULTUOUS. AND IT CAN BE VERY UNHEALTHY IF THINGS ARE UNBALANCED BETWEEN THE TWO WHICH IS BASICALLY WHY WE HAVE...

AUSPISTICISM: THE ASHEN QUADRANT. THIS IS LESS OF A ROMANTIC QUADRANT BUT RATHER A DEALING OF ROMANCE. THIS IS A WILLING THIRD PARTY STEPPING IN TO WILLINGLY HELP FACILITATE A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN OTHERS. THIS IS CRUCIAL IN OUR SOCIETY TO ENSURE ALL OF YOUR PARTNERS AND RELATIONSHIPS ARE ACTUALLY HEALTHY AND FUNCTIONING. THE AUSPISTICE IS NOT NECESSARILY ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED IN THE OTHER PARTIES, BUT IT ISN'T UNCOMMON TO SEE AN AUSPISTICE WHO IS LONGING FOR ONE OF THE PARTIES AND IS HOPING THE ASHEN QUADRANT MIGHT GIVE THEM A LEVERAGE TO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP.


AND THAT IS THE SHORT AND SWEET VERSION OF IT. YES, IT IS WILDLY COMPLEX AND YES HEARTBREAK IS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING FROTHING AT THE BRIM IN OUR CULTURE. QUADRANT VACILLATION IS A RAMPANT PROBLEM THAT MAKES IT DIFFICULT TO SORT OUT WHAT QUADRANT FITS YOUR RELATIONSHIP BEST. IT IS PERFECTLY NATURAL TO FEEL AND IT IS FINE IF YOU HAVE A PARTNER WHO FITS ALL QUADRANTS BUT YOU SHOULD REALLY CLARIFY THAT KIND OF THING SO YOU CAN BOTH BE ON THE SAME PAGE.

I'M NOT REALLY INTERESTED IN BEING THE TOWN AUSPISTICE, BY THE WAY. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR INDIVIDUAL RELATIONSHIPS. BUT AS A RULE, I CARE ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS IN GENERAL AND IT IS SINCERE TORTURE TO THINK ABOUT HOW MANY IDIOTS ARE WALKING AROUND DENYING THEIR OWN FEELINGS. IT MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM.

WHICH I HAVE ALREADY DONE SO MANY TIMES NOW.

BUT YES I WILL OPEN THE FLOOR TO GENERAL QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR PROBABLE ROMANTIC AWAKENINGS THIS POST WILL NO DOUBT AROUSE. THERE IS NO SHAME IN REALIZING YOU HAVE HAD A TOTAL HATE-BONER FOR SOMEONE FOR TEN YEARS AND ARE PROBABLY IN SOME KIND OF LOVE WITH THEM. IDIOT.

OKAY BEFORE I WRITE ANOTHER SHORT ESSAY, I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO SHUT THE FUCK UP NOW.

EDIT BY FUTURE CARCINOGENETICIST @ 3:25 AM

WOW, I AM SO FUCKING INEPT AT THIS SOMEONE REVOKED MY FUCKING ROMANCE GURU CARD THAT I DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE.

I FORGOT THE CARDINAL LESSON FOR HUMANITY BECAUSE YOU ALL HAVE THIS WILD FUCKING OBSESSION WITH GENDER: YOU ARE NOT "BROKEN" OR WHAT THE FUCK EVER KIND OF BRAINWASHING YOUR KIND HAS PUT YOU THROUGH...IF YOU LIKE THE SAME GENDER YOU IDENTIFY AS. HOLY FUCK. OR MULTIPLE GENDERS. OR NO GENDERS. ATTRACTION IS A GODDAMN SPECTRUM AND WE FEEL IT AS SUCH FOR A REASON. BECAUSE! IT'S! MOTHERFUCKING NATURAL! IF YOU DON'T FEEl ATTRACTION LITERALLY NOTHING ABOUT YOU NEEDS TO BE CHANGED. IF YOU'RE HORNED UP, IT'S FUCKING FINE AS LONG AS YOU'RE NOT A MONSTER ABOUT IT. JEGUS.

OKAY NOW I'M DONE.

Oct. 30th, 2021

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video | un: sharpshooter

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( Content Warnings: discussion of death, trauma/ptsd, past torture, psychosis, mental health crisis )

[The video opens up on Lance in the arena at The Gate breathing heavily, there's a bleeding bullet wound through his left shoulder and a bruise forming on one cheek. It's clear, he didn't start this video by the angle that it's being filmed at and how he's bent over with his hands on his knees. Those who have discovered Omens can double as phones may figure out that is how this is being filmed. On some level Lance wants to share this moment and his omen answered his subconscious mental command.

In the corner of the screen there is a black smoke floating in the air, dissipating but forming what looks like a... middle finger? Lance then leans down and picks up Reaper's mask off what remains of his corpse and looks at it. Then he speaks to Reaper's remains, his voice sounding rough and in a weird sort of shock.]


For two years I thought I deserved what you did to me, that it was my fault. You tortured me... for hours. [He takes in a shuddering breath holding the mask tight and shaking.] Then you suffocated me to death with your body's smoke and you've haunted my dreams ever since... But Moira- Moira told me it wasn't my fault, that... the nightmare took over my mind and made me hurt her. You knew it too, but you did that to me anyway. Funny how it took killing you for me to realize maybe she was right and you were wrong.

[He practically snarls the last part and then turns to face his omen and sees it's broadcasting something to someone. Now that he's snapped out of the shock of it all, he grins triumphantly at the "camera", the bloodsport high returning and he's devolving into a bit of a hysterical meltdown.] You hear that?! I, Lance, Paladin of Voltron, actually killed Reaper! The big, bad, scary smoke man in the stupid mask who killed me and Chloe is dead. And I conquered his ass! ME!

[He holds up the mask he took off Reaper's body like it's a both proof and a trophy.] I'm keeping this to remind myself I don't have to be afraid anymore. You guys should all totally try out killing your demons, it's great!

( ooc: lance is replying to all responses after he's had time to come back to a little bit more mental stability/coherency. )

Oct. 5th, 2021

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text | un: CARCINOGENETICIST

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THIS IS BIOLOGICAL FUCKING WARFARE.
THIS IS A COMPLETE DECONSTRUCTION OF BODILY AUTONOMY.
SOME MAY EVEN GO AS FAR AS TO SAY THIS IS AN ACTUAL HATE CRIME. FOR I, ABOVE ALL ELSE, FEEL ESPECIALLY HATED RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS A HEINOUS ACT OF THE HIGHEST CALIBER AND THERE WILL BE GREAT RETRIBUTION, MARK MY WORD.

DO NOT ASK ME WHAT THIS IS ABOUT AS IT IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS. I JUST WANTED TO ANNOUNCE MY DISSATISFACTION WITH THE CURRENT SITUATION TO THE WORLD AND SOCIAL MEDIA IS A VALID FORM OF PUBLIC DESPAIR. IF YOU DISAGREE I HAVE AN INCREDIBLY SPECIFIC PLACE WHERE YOU CAN "SHOVE IT" AS THEY SAY. MY DESPAIR IS CERTIFIABLE AND THIS DEERNET PLACE IS NOW MY PARTY WHERE I CAN FUCKING CRY IF I WANT TO.

NOT THAT I AM CRYING. THAT WOULD BE FOR SOMEONE EMOTIONALLY WEAKER THAN I, WHICH I HAVE NEVER BEEN EMOTIONALLY WEAK AT A SINGLE MOMENT IN MY ENTIRE LIFESPAN.

IF YOU DISLIKE IT, THEN YOU CAN FUCKING BLOCK ME AND GET OVER YOURSELF IN YOUR OWN CORNER OF THE INTERNET. EAT MY ENTIRE FUCKING BULGE. EXCEPT DO NOT. TO BE CLEAR, THAT WAS NOT A COME-ON OF ANY KIND. I WILL BURY YOU IN THE MISERABLE SANDS FROM WHICH WE HAVE BEEN REINCARNATED AND YOU WILL NOT REAWAKEN. FOR I WILL BE STANDING THERE TO CUT YOU DOWN THE MOMENT YOU OPEN YOUR EYES. SO, LITERALLY, YOU WILL NOT SEE IT AGAIN. THEORETICALLY. I CANNOT ACTUALLY TRULY ANTICIPATE THE EXACT SECOND YOU OPEN YOUR EYES BUT I WILL BE PREPARED ALL THE SAME.

*I WILL NOT BE CENSORED.*