TEXT - Anonymous

[nothinglikea]

I need something else to concentrate on.

What do you do when you think you like someone?

How can you be sure?

And if you are sure, how do you proceed?

Comments

Text UN: 1stStrike

[strikefirster]

Is it a dude or a chick?

[nothinglikea]

A young lady.

As am I.

Hence the confusion.

(text) | un: wrench

[wwrench]

Before I jump to answer that, I think I ought to ask how old you are.

(CW: underage engagement/relationship)

[nothinglikea]

I'm seventeen.

Old enough to be engaged and married where I come from.

text | un: username372199

[killtime]

there's no good answer to those questions

[nothinglikea]

Is that because the answers are all inherently bad?

Because the feelings snuck up on me.

I didn't mean for this to happen.

text un: dragonofthewest

[truehumili_tea]

Ahh, young love.

Sometimes it can take the head a long time to learn what the heart already knows. The best way to realize your feelings for someone is to meditate on those feelings, and contemplate what it is you feel when you think of them. If you find yourself smiling then you have your answer.

After that you simply tell them.

[nothinglikea]

Yes, we both are fairly young.

Fortunately, I know how to meditate now. It's actually rather nice, to be able to concentrate strongly on something or nothing at all.

How does one do that?

text; un: Anonymous (cw for... internal toxic masculinity ig? she's not even masc.)

[slayerskiss]

If you're thinking about it hard enough to ask anonymously, you probably do like her.

[God, what would anyone but her say.]

Have you tried talking to her about it?

[God, it's a good thing this is anonymous. That's the most pathetic answer she could have given. Who does that? Talking about their feelings?]

[nothinglikea]

Perhaps, but I don't want to alarm her?

She's from an earlier time and I'm not sure how she'll react.

Not yet, no.

[it's against the teachings of her own society to talk about feelings, too. she's trying to sort out what she's been told versus what she's learned]

text | anonymous

[possessum]

( Peter opts to go anonymous for this, too. It feels like a safe little space, a bubble. He's not used to talking about things like this so much aloud, but... he has experience with the matter, and the various complications that came with his own situation. )

I think I knew I liked someone when I realised that my thoughts kept going back to her. Not even necessarily in a romantic kind of way to begin with, but.... for a lot of things. The mundane things.
Like, I'd wonder what she'd think about something, or when I'd be out and about, I'd constantly see things that reminded me of her.

We'd talk really late into the night because we both had a hard time sleeping, and I never once got tired of it. I wanted to just talk to her forever.

The proceeding part was definitely scarier. Do you think this person might like you back, or are you not sure about that much, yet?

[nothinglikea]

[anonymity can be a real source of comfort]

I think I can understand that, at least some of it. I often find my thoughts turning towards her and what a comfort she has been. She doesn't mind that I fumble my way through cooking and cleaning. And she lets me read to her on occasion.

I'm honestly not sure? We're both girls and this is the first place we've been to where such relationships are acceptable.

Text; UN: Cuddlebunny

[lightthedarkness]

The way I know when I like someone is that I want to be around them a lot more, they make me happy when I spend time with them. My face usually gets super red if they compliment me.

I like seeing them happy and I want to help them achieve their dreams.

Does that sound like your situation?

[nothinglikea]

Yes, it does. Decidedly so.

But I'm not sure how to proceed from this point. I recently had a relationship end sadly and I don't want her to think she's only a replacement.

Text - UN: Onerthes

[onerthes]

The answer has changed so much over the last few years. I've been trying to find what it is I truly want, and now that I've found it, I realize what it was. Someone who completes me, who I can feel fulfilled in the company of, who can support me and who I can support. Not just does she make me happy, but I feel alive just knowing our closeness.

I think everyone has a different path to being sure. Love's a lot like a snowflake that way. Every one of them is unique.

[She could be soooo sappy sometimes.]

[nothinglikea]

That sounds as though it is an ideal match.

I would like to take a little more time, perhaps? So I can be sure and maybe see if she is of me?

text; un: anonymous

[retsuden]

Thinking about her made the empty parts of myself feel whole again. She could make where ever we were feel like home.

How you proceed depends on individual situations. Sometimes just acknowledging it to yourself is enough.

[nothinglikea]

That must be a lovely feeling to have.

I wonder about that. I recently had a relationship end tragically, so I don't want to rush into things.

text | un: alcaid

[ghostharasser]

So the question here is, do you need a distraction because your thoughts are consumed by this person you think you might like? Because that's USUALLY the first indication for me that I am dealing with a crush.

After that I just get nervous and accidentally walk into walls or furniture when I'm around them.

[nothinglikea]

Not only. There have been reasons to be distracted lately, but my feelings are increasingly on the forefront.

I'll try to avoid that as much as I can?

Text

[chenqing_player]

If you are sure just tell them. If you aren't sure...you could still tell them and see how they feel. Might help you sort out your own feelings.

[nothinglikea]

I feel as though I need to be more sure. Both of us are young women and neither of our societies allowed such relationships.

text; UN: Orobas

[violetlies]

[And back to the alternate username Kokichi goes. Just in case.]

I usually don't tell the guys I like and make them try to figure out my feelings themselves. I'd like to be more honest, but I'm kind of compelled to...test all of them, I guess. And I'm kind of a coward.

I've been more honest with the guy I like here and tried to make it obvious and I'm pretty sure it's still sailing clear over his head. He's sweet and I feel safe with him, though, so...eventually. Maybe. Hopefully.

Be honest with the girl you like. Talk things over. Communication is key. Just take her somewhere nice and private and ease into a conversation about it if you feel comfortable. Basically, do as I say, not as I do.

[nothinglikea]

Oh, dear. I hope that you eventually do confess to your full feelings to him, then perhaps things will get even better?

Her house is relatively private. As is mine since I don't have a roommate. Maybe I could cook supper for her?

text; un: lookingforshinsengumi

[tealeafs]

[ Whew, that's a complicated subject. Chizuru can't even say she's exactly an expert on it - that's not the reason she's replying. It seems like other people are giving much better advice, anyway.

No, she's replying out of worry, since-- ]

are you worried about liking someone

[ After all, there's no name attached to the message. That's got to be on purpose, Chizuru thinks. ]

[nothinglikea]

Yes.

Before I arrived, I lost someone I loved very much. I worry that I may be getting ahead of myself, having feelings for another.

text; un: naruhodo

[convene]

Be honest with them.
That's what I've found works the best.
If you aren't sure, maybe writing down your feelings will help?
Certainly helped with mine.

[nothinglikea]

Writing them down is a good idea.
Perhaps that would help me sort out if it's an infatuation or something deeper.

anonymous

[foulhussy]

dunno, i just say nothing and ignore it.
that shits scary as fuck.
somehow i ended up with somebody here anyway.

but i was a fucking disaster.
so dont be me.
give them gifts or do something for them.

[nothinglikea]

So did they make the first move?

I could give her presents?
I'm not sure what, she's an amazing cook, but maybe something pretty for her house?

text; anonymous

[measuringdicks]

before we proceed I have to ask
is this just you being curious or do you actually have weird fuzzy feelings in the direction of a specific person
I'm trying to figure out if you need shitty advice or a story

[nothinglikea]

I actually do have weird fuzzy feelings towards her.
I'll take either?

un; violet

[virtuosital]

I don't know if I was sure or not, but I confessed and we're still friends. Though I guess that doesn't help a whole lot.

[nothinglikea]

So she doesn't feel the same.
I'm sorry.
At least you have the friendship?

text | un: dito (I'm so sorry)

[syncopathic]

I mean, that depends on what your definition of "like" is.

do you want to win this person's respect or just get in their pants?

/wheezes and dies No, it's okay!

[nothinglikea]

I beg your pardon!
Of course I want her respect, not such a prurient goal!

text; un: fists

[fattyhands]

first off, only you can be sure whether or not you’ve caught feelings for someone
second, proceeding usually includes telling them
unless you’re one of those who likes spinning hypotheticals to the point of never actually getting anything done

[nothinglikea]

Well, I'm fairly certain, but I had a recent relationship end tragically.
So I want to make sure it's more romantic than gratitude for her kindness.
I'm never that, when I make up my mind, it's for keeps.

[text] un: QueenCobra

[abornfighter]

If you know you like the person, make a move. Ask them to go to dinner with you as a date. Be direct.

(CW: period-appropriate homophobia by society at large)

[nothinglikea]

I do like her, but it may not be so easy. Both of us come from societies which stigmatized women who dated women. I've gotten over that fear since everyone seems content to let people love as they will, but I'm not sure if she has.

Text; un: darkness

[survivalthroughhate]

Well, my experience on this subject is VERY limited, so take it for what you will. But when I first met my mate, I was a bit smitten right from the start. He rescued me in a very dramatic manner and I fell for him very fast. But wasn't sure how he felt about me.

[Maul feels like a sap for even admitting to feeling something like the emotion of being "smitten" but it's obvious to anyone who has ever seen him with Reaper, so there's no use denying it.]

So I spent a lot of time with him until I was sure he returned my affections. Once I was certain of them, I asked him out on a date. That went well and so we continued to date and spend a lot of time together until I was certain there was no one else I'd rather be in love with.

[nothinglikea]

As is mine, to be honest. I've had two relationships, one of which was a nightmare, but the other was good and ended tragically. And I can understand being smitten. Especially after she helped me with something that came of the tragic relationship. I looked at him and looked at her and still felt a bone-deep fondness and care. But that's the wretched part, being unsure of the other's feelings.

[she takes it in stride as he's given her very helpful advice with shielding her mind and meditation. he's in her good books]

That's actually a good idea. To spend as much time as possible with her until I'm sure of her and have an inkling that she feels the same about me. I know I'd like to do something nice for her, like cook her supper since she seems unused to such things. Do you think that might help?

text | carcinoGeneticist

[klawful]

FIRST, YOU MUST HAVE AN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN. OBVIOUSLY.

THEN YOU MUST CATEGORIZE THE EXACT EMOTION SO YOU CAN APPROPRIATELY MOVE FORWARD. LIKE, ARE WE REPULSED? ENTHRALLED? EXCITED? CONCERNED?

/dead, thank you! ❤

[nothinglikea]

...are you having fun with me?

un: anonymous

[deadboywalking]

[His answer is still the same, even after all his years here:]

you be careful. you be really, really really careful.

[nothinglikea]

I take it that you're the voice of experience?

text; un: glyphywitchy

[imaglyphwitch]

[Two days after dying, Luz us still at home, recovering, and sees this anonymous message]

guess it depends. I think you probably already know if you like that person or not.

Can't stop thinking about them. You stay up and think of what you'd do to make them happy, or a perfect scenario where you show them how much they mean to you.

Silly, stupid stuff, but it feels right.

And if you know that, well. It's a matter of seeing them enough to know what will get their attention. Be creative! You can show up to pick them up in a carriage, or show up to their house with a rare flower and an offer to take them out on a date.

Drop hints, but be sincere...and don't be a dope that keeps it all inside until its impossible to tell them. That'll just make you frustrated and sad, trust me.

[nothinglikea]

[it's all Rose can do to not reveal herself immediately, not even in private. but she's heading over to give Luz the most careful hug imaginable almost immediately]

Yeah, you're probably right. I do.

She's had so much unhappiness in life that I want to bring happiness into her life. She seems almost afraid to ask for that happiness, though.

I'm trying to decide what might be the best path. I do think I want to cook dinner for her since she doesn't seem to give herself enough time to rest and let someone else do something for her.

You have someone you haven't confessed to?

text, un: daughter-sea

[seaboard]

[ Sorry for this - ]

Usually you send the eldest woman of your family to the eldest woman of their family. Or you ask someone to stand in for you.

Then they shall discuss if it will be a good marriage or not, what each person shall bring to the marriage, how many goats, the land they could settle on...

After that, usually, is when the courting begins?

Unless they are very young, and already taken the marriage bed, before the marriage begins, then the rest is simply tidying up afterward.

(CW: underage romance)

[nothinglikea]

((OOC: dead. dying. this is awesome!))

[eeeeeek!]

I'm afraid that wouldn't work out so well for us? Mother wasn't terribly kind and it seems as though her mother wasn't as well. I'm not sure who would stand in for either of us.

Well, talking of marriage would be getting ahead of ourselves. Courtship of the kind found in my original time, that may be best. Hand-holding, fairly chaste kisses and the like. We're both still fairly young still.

May I ask how old people usually are when people marry in your world?