deernet | TEXT - Anonymous

[Rose had maintained her blasé attitude as much as she could. she didn't want her mother or Cal to know that they were getting to her, making her question every aspect of her life and wonder how she'd force herself to function.

but Luz was far from unlovable. she was one of the smartest, kindest, most generous of spirit people she'd ever met and she was proud to be Luz's friend]

It almost sounds as though for every step forward, there's been another one or two back. And it worries me that there's still such a huge gap between rich and poor. That can only lead to disaster. But...there's something like the network which helps?

[Luz could only imagine how hard that must have been for Rose: having to want to justify the life she wanted to live when everyone around you were basically perfectly fine with you forgoing it to live like a bird in a cage.

Rose was a much stronger person than she gave herself credit for, and Luz hoped that the longer she knew her, the more she'd be able to assist in helping her get stronger].

That's just about how things have been. You can't reform a system that's been decided by the rich easily, and there are more of them now, still running things and deciding things for us. The network helps us to understand how deep everything goes, but what we do with that information can vary.

Let's just say a part of me is perfectly fine living here.

[it hadn't been easy. she'd wanted to live life on her own terms, but everything--from her rank to her status to her needs--dictated otherwise even though marrying Cal was abhorrent.

she wasn't sure how to measure her experiences and opinions against those from other times on Earth. she tried to tell herself that she was doing fine, but telling herself and actually doing fine were two entirely separate things]

It's still not fair. It's not right. Is it asking too much for something to be fair and right in another world?

As am I. I don't...really want to leave. Even with all things considered.

[Luz had guessed those choices were pretty hard, but she understood that it was the way things were back then, when the world felt smaller and everyone was talking about everybody else. While she didn't like what happened to Rose in regard to the Titanic, she was happy Rose made it out in one piece.

She didn't have to. As far as Luz was concerned, everyone had their own thing to think about, and Rose just had to have understanding].

I agree, but maybe that's why we're here, to live that kind of life without having things that way?

You seem to be thriving mostly anyway! I'm glad that you're not miserable!

[Rose was grateful she'd made it out. it was hard to be happy in the face of so much death and the loss of Jack, but she was getting closer to it every day here. even given this place's peculiarities. and all things being equal, she could see herself potentially being happy here in the long-term.

it often seemed like the vast majority of people here had tragedy in their pasts. the important thing was to not let herself feel as though her tragedy was bigger or worse than that of others]

Perhaps. Goodness knows that the relative lack of rank here is reassuring.

[and she chuckles a little] I think you give me far too much credit. I'm doing my best. That's all anyone can ask of themselves, really.

Edited 2022-07-14 14:01 (UTC)

[Luz, who had her fair share of traumatic situations in Trench and was still dealing with a lot of what this place was doing, still was able to find happy situations here. There were always going to be people she still cared an awful lot about.

The tragedy sometimes came FROM this place though, so it could be difficult to shrug off. Luz figured this was why her own pain could sometimes come back even when she thought she'd gotten over things].

I think so too. That really doesn't matter much when you have something strange that could mess you up in the next month.

Then can I say you're doing really well, and I admire you for it?

[caring could be a double-edged sword. it gave a person a reason to stay, to keep fighting, but it could also be something which wounded and made a person wonder why they stayed. after everything Luz had been through, Rose couldn't blame her for feeling poorly. and anyone who tried would meet a fierce response from her]

Yes, I--normally I can sort of bend away from the hurt, at least here, but I'll admit that it gets to me. More often than I'd like.

You may. And might I say the same about you?

[Luz had experienced both of those feelings several times over. Mostly it was the first, that kept her going and made her stronger, but there were times where Luz had felt the other way too, where it was possible her presence only made certain people feel worse].

I know that feeling. It takes a lot to recover from, I know that much.

Really? Aw! I'm honored, really!

[it would make Rose's heart ache to think of Luz feeling that her presence made someone, anyone feel worse. she hoped that Luz knew how much she was valued and admired here, that she had so many friends who'd help her with only mild grumbling.

or no grumbling at all in Rose's case]

Yes. It does. I--I know I need to tell everything to someone. Perhaps to a Night Walker whom I've never met before. That way, I wouldn't have to worry about encountering one in the ordinary interactions of Trench.

All I'm doing is telling the truth.

[Luz would always do her best, but she knew that not every attempt to make people feel better worked, and some of that had to do with herself. She was still trying to work on herself there, but she did appreciate that she had people who were eager to help her out there].

Hm? Encountering "who" in normal interactions?

I appreciate that! I'm glad I can always count on you, Rose, to make me feel better even when I think I'm doing relatively ok!

Rose felt as though people she'd known had left in the passing months and she needed to make more friends. Nothing like Luz had to, so many of her people had vanished into seemingly outer space. But she wanted to try and lighten the load for her friend, if she could. However she could.

Oh, someone who's meant to be the one we spill our guts out to. In theory, they should keep their silence, but that sets things off on an uneven keel.

I'm glad. Especially if it pushes the lever from ok to better than ok. I see you as a sister and I'd do anything for you.

[It was sadly inevitable that the people you met and cared about sometimes went back to the sea. Luz was still grappling with several of those that had left her behind. It was harder on her than she would care to admit.

She was lucky to have a friend in Rose].

Like a psychiatrist, yes. Or did you not have them in your time?

Trust me, I do a lot better with you around.

[And that confession just gets you a hug from Luz. She knew she was really lucky to have the people she did around her].

[she wondered what had compelled people to go back into the sea. surely life as a living, breathing human had to be better than that of a squid, no matter how peaceful being a squid supposedly was. she planning to cling to this life with every bit of strength she had.

and she was so lucky to have a friend like Luz!]

No, no, we do. I read Freud in the original German. It's simply that...going to such was seen as a terrible stigma. Better to commit one's family member to an asylum and pretend as though they never existed.

I'm so glad. You know you can turn to me whenever you need to.

[Rose hugged tightly back. she loved hugs, they were so comfortable]

[Luz would get back to you on that one Rose, later on in the month of July. She was going to have a very close encounter with being one to swim as a squid and not exactly know what brought her there.

Especially WHEN she had as good a friend as Rose].

There can still be a little bit of a stigma now, but it's much better now, because there's so much that happens to people these days.

Ugh, that's AWFUL, and very scary.

I know! You're the best, have I told you that?

[noooo. no squids. even if she'd come dangerously close to becoming one again herself.

Rose would blush scarlet at that]

I can only imagine. I've been...spoiled as such about the future. I can't imagine the pain it will all bring, fear that my children may fight at war. But...the war in question is a righteous one. That helps.

[she wants to only have daughters, but even daughters wouldn't be safe in the decades to come]

No, you haven't. [she says with a chuckle] But feel free to tell me again.

TEXT - Anonymous

it's understandable!

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We can probably end here, we're gonna have so many other threads!

Sure, sure! Works for me!