[Malfunction] video; un: shouto

[swellter]

[ Late afternoon the network gets hit with another malfunction. The device makes an odd noise when he scrolls through his messages in search of his patrol schedule. He stares down at it, pulling back when the click of a camera shutter sounds off followed by a series of quick typing. Congratulations you are now the recepient of a meme that even he doesn't get. ]




[ Have a face filling your screen with a rather odd caption that is and isn't anything like what it sounds like. ]

It's not a pee pee. It's an emergency first aid treatment for when help doesn't arrive in time. 

Comments

text; un: summerhall

[dohaeris]

[sansa has been largely avoiding the network this month, and is very busy looking for mushrooms or delivering messages as a wolf or dog or raven. her omen, however;]

...is it a bandage?

[swellter]

One has bandaids. I stock emergency first aid items in each one.

[ So yes, not a bandage per say, but a similar concept. ]

[dohaeris]

I'm afraid all that anyone can see is your face. It's very good of you to stock emergency supplies, but nobody can tell what we should be looking for. The omni crystals have been behaving strangely; it's safest to have your omen film it.

[swellter]

You want me to film my emergency supplies?

[ Not the oddest request he's received, but considering what he has is basic, he doesn't see how it would be useful. ]

[dohaeris]

People will need to know what they look like and where they are or they won't be able to use them.

I had thought you were making a video showing people where you had put emergency supplies in case they needed them. Did you have some other reason for making this video?

[swellter]

If there's a need to use them, I would administer it on the field myself or give someone a rundown of their use. It's basic first aid.

[ He's not a field medic... or so he claims. ]

I put my emergency supplies in metal canisters that I clip to my waist for easy access.

[ It's a part of his hero uniform and considering they're just dangling around him, they aren't hard to spot. ]

[ As for the video... ]

I didn't make the video. It posted by itself. I believe there might be something wrong with my OMNI.

text | un: dito

[syncopathic]

Ah, yes. Emergency dickings. I've heard of those.

Also what are you, five? Who calls it "pee pee"?

[swellter]

I’m seventeen.

It’s not a pee pee it’s emergency first aid.

[ He went over this. :| ]

[syncopathic]

So you've said before. Forgive me if I don't really understand the correlation. It's looking an awful lot like damage control to me.

[swellter]

Damage control would be accurate. Sometimes the medics can't make it to the front lines, so it's up to us to provide first aid to the people who need it.

[ Yup, he totally misread that. ]

[syncopathic]

[Ohhhh my god.]

Are you being deliberately obtuse or is this just a normal day for you?

[Dito's sensing the latter. The guy's pretty enough to be a complete moron.]

[swellter]

[ Indeed. Welcome to his world. ]

I would say it's abnormal. My OMNI seems to be malfunctioning.

Have you seen a similar effect with yours?

[syncopathic]

Now that you mention it, my messages have had trouble getting through to the right people.

[Like that utterly filthy one that somehow was sent to Bakugou. At least it hadn't been sent to Ochako instead.]

[Video] un: QueenCobra

[abornfighter]

What does the emergency first aid treatment look like that anyone's mistaking it for that?

[She is now imagining some very phallic first aid equipment and in the peripheral view of the camera, dark glitter manifests near her before there's a 'THUNK' sound of something dropping to the floor.]

[swellter]

They're metal canisters I clip to my belt.

[ Also, the ones mistaking it for that are 10-year-old boys. Shouto, unfortunately, didn't get the joke and tried to explain their function on the field.

Speaking of explaining - ]

What's that?

[abornfighter]

Oh, that's it? Wow. They must really have their minds in the gutter, then.

[She glances down at the latest thing her powers have manifested, and decides that nope, it's definitely too phallic to show on the network.]

Oh, just some weird thing my powers made. They're going off on their own and they keep making bizarre looking things. Like one time it was a chair that had human looking legs. Another time it was a loaf of bread that looked like stairs. Weird stuff like that.

[swellter]

[ What gutter? He looks a little confused but, thankfully, decides to leave that alone in favor of focusing on her query. ]

You're... creating things?

[ Okay. Now he's very much interested. Did he ever tell you about Momo? ]

[abornfighter]

Yeah.

[Considering what she's learned about quirks from him and from others in his world, it's not surprising that he'd take up an interest in powers here.]

That's how my Darkblood powers work here. I warp reality and make stuff exist. I thought I finally had it under control and then I started making weird stuff.

[She turns her omni over to some of her recent powers accidents that are a little more fit for the public eye. Harmlessly weird objects that range from surrealistic art to furniture and food.]

This month, it's all been like this.

[swellter]

[ Odd, how Darkblood powers resemble Yaoyorozu's Creation quirk. It's enough of a similarity to have him ask: ]

What kind of things did you make?

[ The turn of the omni reveals exactly what she meant leaving him grasping for an explanation. ]

Wait a minute... I've seen this before.

[ He leans closer, mismatched eyes narrowing on the wooden chair. Then it hits him, the exact place he saw it at-- ]

Is that supposed to be modern art?

[abornfighter]

At first, it just reacted to my mood and to my needs. Like if I was hungry, I'd make a hamburger. Or when I was angry or scared, I'd make weapons.

[Useful when it came to the monsters that roam this place.]

When Warmblood powers were amplifying my powers, Robby and I made that amusement park that's just outside of Crenshaw now.

[She turns her attention back to the things she made.]

I didn't do it on purpose, but looks like it. Maybe the Pthumerians were feeling artsy this month.

Video | un: Sweet Cheeks

[floatsaway]

[Now, Ochako is actually on patrol herself, though she does it mainly out of habit and not because she actually took a job with the Hunters or anything. She's just walking around, or doing a few menial little tasks here and there when hailed by anyone who recognizes her as "that flying chick"...but right now it's break time for some quick bites.

She's stuffing a few "old" pastries (old in that they're a day past their prime shelf life, but still delicious) into her mouth she was given for help a bakery load in large and heavy bags of flour in no time at all when her Omni blips. Tugging if from her belt's compartment, she nearly chokes on the pastry in her mouth when she sees the picture and message, coughing and hacking while laughing wildly.]

HAHHAHA--aaggk! Hahaha!! Five Peepees! Pffft--aggk, kaaf! [Give her a minute, Ochako needs to catch her breath and stop coughing food bits out her mouth (like an animal).]

[not here OR IS HE]

[likethelight]

[ 10/10 crumb retention against the odds!! That's the commitment of a true glutton foodie champ right there. You go, miss Uraraka. Fight on.

passes her a napkin in spirit tho ]

[swellter]

[ The sound of laughter registers first before he looks down to see... Uraraka? He can't really see her under all that pastry! ]

Are you okay?

[floatsaway]

[Coughing a bit more to unclog her poor airways, Ochako clears her throat and waves her hand a bit. Voice a little hoarse, but she seems fine, though she's also still snickering, too.]

Y-yeah...I'm. I'm f-fine...ehehe. Though, um...I-I think your Omni might be, eeheh...acting up a little, Todoroki-kun.

[She cannot feasibly believe he intended to create and send that, no way.]

[swellter]

[ If only he knew what was so funny, alas he remains ignorant of his contribution. Uraraka's overzealous reaction is a little odd, but then that's common for him. Bless his ignorance. ]

You think so?

[ He sounds so unruffled by the fact you'd think this happened to him every day. It does not! ]

It did start recording on its own. I thought it was Kizu.

[floatsaway]

[Ignorance is bliss indeed...and Ochako is far too polite to bring too much attention to it, especially when it's a very good friend. H-However...he should also know he was the, erm...butt of a bad joke. Because someone else will probably call it out in a worse way.

People are mean.]

Mm, it's been acting up a lot lately, a-and I think it posted something, um...p-probably without your consent, Todoroki-kun. You should probably check and delete it sometime before someone else takes it seriously. Even if it was really funny...