deernet | text; un: trashmouth

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text; un: trashmouth

[content warnings: stalking, insensitive terms about mental health.]

someone tell me why there's a psycho cultist on my ass rn??
I've been in a coma for a month and we were midway through October when I was last awake so I missed the fucking memo on these assholes

btw don't worry too hard about me I'm fucking great at hiding and running away by now
but I would appreciate a way out I'm just outside of Cellar Door right now and this hide-and-seek cat-and-mouse bullshit is really putting a cramp in my plans for today

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…Because it's a psycho cultist.

And Cellar Door is huge, you're gonna have to be just a bit more specific on where you are if you want anyone to come get you in time. The streets keep changing around this month too, so that's another pain in the ass you gotta account for.

yes thank you I wouldn't have gotten that from the fucking cult-y bullshit they were spouting and the incessant stalking
I meant what the fuck do they want with us this time

ughhhhh fuck uh
hiding inside this boutique with a fur coat in the window??

Oh you know, just what most cults want: blood sacrifice.

Okay, I guess that's a start. Do you remember all the landmarks you saw before you got in there?

Welcome back to consciousness. We have cults again! They were so fun the last time we had them, we decided to give them another try!

Can you get to a Lamp? Or the vicinity of one? I can come to find you.

oh fan-fucking-tastic
because the first time around it was so much fun dealing with them

give me about ten minutes I gotta shake this crazy bitch before I make it to a lamp

We did!! It was the best time ever, and these ones like to take our ORGANS! So. You know. Don't get caught by them.

Do you need me to set up a distraction?

[He can blow something up for you buddy :D]

don't have to tell me twice

got Shiro on the way and Maul says he'll collapse the building on them but I might drop by your place in a couple of days to get bombs and shit just in case this happens again
just so I don't spend way too much time hiding under a table again

Of course Maul has to drop a building on them- god forbid he's ever SUBTLE about anything. The world might end.

And no problem, you know you're always welcome to some extra ammo to help you get through this place. Happy to be of service and to help get you out from under tables.

How was the coma? Was it just a regular sleeping kind or the 'I went home and now I have horrible memories' kind?

I think he needs it to live
like
what's the point of doing shit if people don't know it's you doing it right

mehhhh just the regular sleeping kind
I don't know if I can go home at this point anyway and frankly good fucking riddance to Derry

Sometimes I think his ego is really gonna get the better of him even worse than it already has.

From what I've heard of it, absolutely. It sounds like the worst place ever- like it makes THIS place look good.

before I met the guy I'd say that's impossible but Maul seems to live just to do the impossible
which is not always a compliment
dude's not too bad now but
fuck

we told you about the sewer clown monster right
I know we did that
like It was the worst part but Derry in general was a sundae of shit even when It was asleep

I've been trying to help him work on all that for a while. I'm proud of where he's got- but he's still got a way to go, too.

Yes, I remember that thing. That's already enough to make me say never go back to Derry. I remember Eddie saying it was pretty... intollerant.

[Maul's in the mood to be generous today, nevermind that he himself is forming his own psycho cult....]

Would you like me to collapse a building on top of them? I don't know if it will kill such a creature but it will at least be a physical hindrance.

[Look, no matter how powerful a being was, it still took time to claw your way out of physical debris, especially when it was as large as a house being dropped on someone.]

I mean with our collective luck I wouldn't be surprised if it could levitate that shit out of the way but
probably not right now I'm still IN the building
but once I get out pls do collapse it

Surprise and treachery can work wonders when dealing with a much stronger opponent. Those noble souls who say all fights should be fair tend to end up in the graveyard more often than not.

Alright. I'll head to Cellar Door shortly then.

I'd ask if you were okay but it's you so I'm just gonna say
thanks?? for the advice I didn't ask for?? got Shiro on the way to get me out pls do not collapse the building on him either
just the bugshit insane nutcase trying to kill me
I'm pretty sure he's trying to kill me anyway

btw it's a boutique outside Cellar Door you'll know it there's a fur coat in the window and it looks fancy as fuck

If you want to have as few deaths in this place as possible and defend your boyfriend, it might do you some good to take the advice of a remorseless killer. I know of what I speak.

There are worse things than death he could want you for. Best not to think about them.

[Alright, that'll probably make Richie just think about them more but Maul is just terrible like that sometimes.]

Alright, I shall look for it. Let me know when the do-gooder hero has gotten you out of the way and I'll do what I can.

[It says something about the growth Richie's had since leaving Derry that instead of panicking and telling Maul not to say shit about his boyfriend in a public setting, all that happens is there's a significant lag in responses while Richie tries to get his instinctive fear and terror of being seen under control.]

cool now that's all I'm going to think about until I get out of here thanks so fucking much for that

Jesus Christ leave the house to buy some groceries and you get stalked by lunatics
what a fucking month it's been
and I only just woke up

You're welcome. That's my job.

[Maul is an ass and it's really a surprise that absolutely anyone at all in this entire city gets along with him in any sort of manner that doesn't involve sheer annoyance at his existence.]

What did you expect? This place is a hellish landscape just like Deerington was. All the little naive optimists said it would be better than before but I had a more realistic view and guess which one was right?

I'd recommend going back to sleep but you might never wake up if you want to wait for things to start looking up.

dude I have been through THREE bullshit worlds Trench included you don't have to tell me shit
at least the first one gave me superpowers this one just stuck me with setting shit on fire by accident

I'm not going the fuck back to sleep I've still got shit to do, I'll figure out how to duck the cultists this month

So what I’m hearing is that if you learn to set things on fire on purpose, life here will be that much more satisfying for you.

Why not set THEM on fire instead? That will no doubt help improve your chances of survival.

Psycho cultists do seem to be the flavor of the month.

not even a new one I think this is like
the third time?? for me anyway
you've seen one crazy fucking cult you've seen them all they're just annoying assholes at this point
but they're assholes who can control their powers better than me

I suppose that's true.
It does take a certain personality.
They are rather unfortunately skilled for annoying assholes as you so nicely put it.

What kind of luck do you have that fanatical cultists are such a frequent occurrence?

if they weren't I wouldn't be hiding right now I'd be throwing rocks at them
I know when I'm fucked

the shittiest luck
but after the first one you kind of just get really annoyed by them instead of actually scared, like, Jesus fucking Christ, you assholes again

Fair enough.
Throwing rocks? Really? How old are you?

For the best that way.
Being scared is just a waste of everyone's time.

fifteen
but I'm an old hat at weird horror movie bullshit by now
the cults are a little bit newer but in general this is basically a regular mid-month Tuesday for me

Yes, your life sounds hard.
Hopefully you're less annoying than the last teenagers I had to deal with.
I guess you'd say this place is a kind of Hell.

that is maybe the first time ever someone has told me I'm less annoying than teenagers they knew before they met me
I must be losing my touch

Yes. They were especially difficult.

Can you send me a landmark? I can be there

[And the cultist can talk to his fist.]

boutique outside Cellar Door with fur coat in the window idk the name just ran right in and now I'm hiding
just get me the fuck out of here man don't engage with the psycho if you don't have to

Fur coat. Okay, got it. I'm on my way. Just sit tight, I'll get there as soon as I can.

if you can't find me when you get there don't worry just listen for the word "fuck" and you'll find me
hiding under a table

I'll find you.

[Eventually. And he'll move as fast as he can - considering what's at stake here.]

Just try and swear quietly until I do?

[Shiro that's not funny.]

gonna be as quiet as a mouse
a really fucking terrified mouse

You'll do great Almost there

hurry the fuck up shti hsit shit

I see the store!

[Hold up Richie he'll just kick the door in no big deal that's cool right?]

[ Well, that is a thing to suddenly get extremely worried about - if not just because Ange knows exactly what those weirdos can do. ]

Richie, get out of there.

[ Which is exactly what he's doing, yes, BUT SHE WOULD JUST LIKE TO EMPHASIZE-- ]

I know they already look like no good news, but they're worse than you can imagine.

[If Ange is already extremely worried, imagine how Richie's feeling.]

working on it
Shiro's on the way and Maul says he'll collapse the building after we're out to make damn sure the fucker slows down

oh my fucking god
of COURSE they're worse
how did they get worse??

[ Thankfully help is on the way. That's at least one thing to slightly soothe her for now. At least she can keep making sure he's safe by sending him texts and see if he's still replying. ]

They're basically running a black market for organs. Except instead of selling them, they're offering them up to something or whatever.

They cut all sort of weird stuff into my skin, and probably would've done worse if someone hadn't rescued me from there in time. [ And the least thing Ange wants is for something similar to happen to Richie. ]

So. Yeah.

Definitely the worst.

fuck
are you okay???
do you need patching up
clinic's always open

Don't worry, Lysithea stopped by. Hurt like hell, but at least it means I'm on the mend.

[ Thankfully pain is something Ange can bear. It's better than forever living with the deep scars those wounds would have formed sooner or later. ]

I just wish I wasn't stuck in bed because of it. Feeling so weak sucks. [ Especially when Ange's got such a problem with feeling vulnerable or weak in the first place. ]

they obviously want to sacrifice you for your blood & organs duh
like helloooo look at this place

gee thank you I didn't catch that at all
would not have clocked that they want to sacrifice me for some bullshit blood ritual without you pointing it out so helpfully

no but seriously
I know they wanna sacrifice me but the big question is
what for THIS TIME
averting an apocalypse?? satisfying a hungry god?? shits and giggles????

wow smartass ur the one who literally asked the entire network about why there were cultists on your ass 🙄
dont ask dumb questions if u dont want dumb answers

probably to feel more powerful. blood is power in this place. makes sense that someone would want to take advantage of that. blood enchanted stuff is MEGA $$$$ in this place. im surprised theres not more seedy blood gangs trying to profit off that

probably they're just much better at hiding it than we thought and these assholes are just the ones stupid enough to come out of the woodwork and start hunting us outright
the dickheads

if that's all there is to it I'm going to be really pissed off about it bc that is such a fucking cliched reason

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