deernet | accidental video; un: joker

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accidental video; un: joker

[ The video turns on and there is a sound like... bees? No, maybe something... vibrating? The video is dark. It's hard to tell. Then the video shifts, and the noise shifts with it, and then -- ]

Maurice, get off of that--

[ There's a belligerent meow, and then the video feed is abruptly filled with light as it's made apparent that a large cat that is clearly someone's Omen was laying on the video feed. A second later the entire scene is made more apparent: there's Akira (who you may recognize from a previous post that he guest starred in) peering down, holding the (large) cat in his arms. ]

Oh. [ He sets Maurice down. ] Go harass Akechi. [ Maurice, for his part, looks imperious in the way that only a cat can, and then walks out of view of the camera entirely. Akira reaches down... there's a very shaky camera for a moment before Akira seems to properly get ahold of his Omni that he left a little too carelessly where a cat could get it. ]

Hey, does anyone here cut hair? [ Now that you're looking-- if you're looking-- you can tell that Akira's hair has gotten... long. He's tied it back in a very messy, curly manbun, but it has the clear appearance of someone who has given up trying to look remotely put together and leaned hard into the 'crazed coffee hermit' look. ]

I, uh... can give you a good cup of coffee in exchange. Or some curry.

Also, does anyone know how to take care of frogs? Thanks.

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You have a frog?

[She can't help with hair, she knows it's probably rude to ask about Akechi, even if they were both apparently his would-be victims(?).

So all that she brings to the table is that she loves frogs.]

Yeah! I've got a few. [ And Akira reaches up and... withdraws a small orange frog that was apparently sitting in his hair. What else does he have in there? ]

We had an outbreak of them, and got most of them to go outside, but a few really want to stick around.

[On her side of the video, she raises up a unnusually pleasant frog. Like, as close to spherical as a frog can get, with a perpetually blissed out expression like he's always just happy to be here. There's a small collar attached to him noting him as an emotional support animal.]

Meet Bogariel Frogariel, or Boggy the Froggy for short. [She smiles in delight at the orange frog.] He's very cute. They're very cute? It's a very cute frog. Does it have a name?

I can't really speak on taking care of normal frogs, since mine's magic.

[ Oh man look at that frog just vibin. Akira is charmed. ]

I haven't named it... I wasn't really planning on keeping it, but he's pretty intent on staying inside.

These guys are... a little magic? But mostly just normal frogs, I think. It gets really loud at night now.

I guess that'd probably pose problems for sleeping? [Humans require quiet to sleep, that's what she's heard.] You could probably see about using blood magic to make a noise blocker between rooms and give them their own little space.

How many do you have?

I'm used to the city, so the noise isn't too bad.

Uh, there's... [ Akira trails off for a minute, and then he just. Wanders outside. There's a little puddle-pond situation going on nearby and he just films it for a second.

There are a lot of frogs. ]

But there's only a half dozen inside, I think.

...What about outside?

Um.

More than I can count...

[ They keep moving. Akira tilts the camera to show the sheer amount of frogs. They could probably form their own society at this point. ]

[What a colony...]

...Wow.

That is a lot.

I'd offer to pick some up but, I mean, I don't have my own place...

I can introduce them to Boggy, maybe? He could try to assert himself as their leader...

Edited 2022-06-20 03:01 (UTC)

That might just result in you having a frog army... but that'd be kinda cool, actually?

[ Would it??? Well, Akira sure thinks so, but the way he is imagining a frog army isn't quite what the reality would likely be -- mostly because the reality is a lot louder and full of tinier frogs. ]

Maybe if he could teach them there's places to live that aren't my yard.

Senpai, you should have mentioned you wanted a haircut. I'm no professional, but I'm sure I could manage a trim. [The unrepentantly fluffy manbun he's been growing seems to suit him, in a strange way, so Sumire never thought to question it.]

It takes so long to dry... [ He sounds genuinely mournful about it. His wash and wear style simply doesn't work when his hair is this long. ]

Also I broke my comb on it, so I think it's time to change. Are you good with curly hair? I heard it's harder to work with.

[She can’t help the light chuckle at his mournful complaint, honestly.] I would suggest a hair dryer, but I feel like it might not actually help, with how dense your hair probably is. [She’s… not actually ever touched his hair, for as tactile as she is. In fairness that’s likely in no small part due to the fact that she would have to consciously reach for it and that seems a broach of an unspoken boundary, even if she has absolutely no issue taking his arm or anything immediately attached to it.]

Kasumi’s hair was naturally curly, especially at the ends. [Which doesn’t necessarily mean she has experience cutting it, but who knows.]

Edited 2022-06-05 09:29 (UTC)

If I use a hairdryer it... it expands. [ The way he says "expands" should conjure up mental images of overfluffed small dogs, because that's about what it looks like when Akira tries to blowdry his head.

To be fair, he's just really bad at beauty care routines. ]

If you can do it, that'd be great. I'm afraid it's going to mold next time I wash it if I can't cut it soon.

[She purses her lips, because it absolutely brings up something to the effect of this, but in black and curly, and she can't help but laugh into a hand for a moment.]

We'll work on it. I should be able to at least get you a trim until we can find someone with proper qualifications.

That's fine. I guess if worst comes to worst I can always try and find some hair gel and tame it that way.

[ Do not under any circumstances let Akira actually do his hair.

It's too much power for him to have. ]

[She frowns.]

If you're concerned about molding, hair gel is only going to lock moisture in with no way out. I've got bobby pins, we can figure something out. I've always kind of wondered how you see well with the way it hangs in your face, anyway.

Well, once it's cut I don't have to worry about mold... or it never molded before. It's a new worry. [ Like, worries he never thought he'd have, but he also never thought he'd be a squid, so? ]

I'm sure I could cut hair if I tried.

[ he's fairly sure that anyone can. it's the quality of the cut that probably matters, right? but hey--- if no one questions his lack of qualifications... ]

What makes your coffee better than anyone else's?

I'm trying to get it to look like what it used to look like six months ago, but it turns out that's a lot of length...

I'm a professional barista. Or I was back home. Well, part-time. [ And temporarily retired, but. ]

Oh! That's amazing.

[ a beat, then: ]

You do seem pretty young to be a bartender...

[ because they're the same thing obviously. bartender, barista. both b words. ]

They don't let me handle the alcohol, but I can make a mean water. [ It's fine, Akira has a lot of b-word jobs under his belt. Bartender. Barista. ...Bhantom Thief. ]

But I'm pretty passionate about the coffee part.

[ pseudo bolitician, experimental blab rat... ]

As opposed to a nice water?

[ venti flashes a smile, then waves casually. he's been around some 'mean' hydro slimes before. ]

But yes, I could surely try. Curious though--- I assume your roommate isn't up to the task?

[ a familiarly named roommate to this young bard... ]

Mean water is just nice water that's served at a bar. [ Probably. If you say things and you sound like you know what you're talking about, people generally let you get away with it. ]

Uh-- which one? I've got two.

[ One who is willing to help and one who is Akechi. ]

Ugh! That's painfully true, my fluffy friend! The meanest water is always at a bar...

[ maybe it's just his imagination, but is akira's hair growing more and more wild every time venti looks back up from his drink? or maybe his vision is getting a little blurrier... ]

Oh, the one you mentioned. Akechi, right? He had an aura around him that could easily shear a layer off or two of hair from your head!

[ the sort of stern, a little too serious boy he met not too long ago. or maybe it was a very long ago. he can't remember. ]

Oh, yeah. I don't know if I want to give him an excuse to have sharp objects around my head, actually. [ Akira does not think Akechi is going to kill him (*again), but he does think that Akechi is absolutely not above shaving a bald track into his head just to make Akira suffer in a way that is inconvenient but ultimately not life threatening.

Probably. Probably not life threatening. ]

If words could cut, I definitely wouldn't need a haircut with him around.

You don't have to tell me twice!

[ all business, no pleasure. a demeanor that was sharp and cold and very... disarming. sure, he also had the air of someone who was also pretty damn competent but... ]

And you live with him? I hope your other roommate can show mercy!

He's not so bad once you... okay, no, he's just as bad once you get to know him, but in a way that makes you like him? [ No, Akira, that's... that's mostly just you, but that's not what's important-- ]

My other roommate is very kind, so I'm sure it balances out.

[ venti blinks, wondering if somewhere out of camera, akira's being held at gunpoint. should he ask if he needs assistance or something?

nah. ]

Is... that... you know, that doesn't sound particularly pleasant!

[ but he's relieved to hear that last part. ]

Good! Good. Still, I do believe there is probably something genuinely kind in Akechi... or is that belief completely unfounded?

No, I think so too. I mean, he doesn't think so, but he's been wrong before. [ And Akira will prove him wrong again, Akira's sure of it. Determined. Stubborn, even. ]

The more of us there are that think it, the easier it'll be to prove him wrong.

[ Is. Is that how it works, Akira?

Sure, why not. ]

[ venti hums for a few seconds, mulls the idea through his head... ]

You think? So you're saying if we all believe he can be good, he'll be good.

[ like crowdfunding a positive mental attitude for him??? ]

... I like it. Okay. I guess I should ask if there's anything he does very well in particular, other than... um... provide... scathing looks...?

He's really smart! [ Oh no. Akira is only too happy to talk about all of Akechi's good points, but mostly he just suddenly looks entirely too excited and also a little -- embarrassed? Is that some pink in his cheeks? ]

He's really strong at fighting, which is great in this place, and he's really independent and clever. He's just, you know... also kind of an asshole.

[ okay. maybe he's not being physically held hostage, but... there's definitely something going on here. ]

He could be that without the last thing. [ venti knows he's saying the obvious, which is why he follows: ] But you probably like that about him too, huh.

Well, it's like... he wouldn't be him if he wasn't an asshole. It's fine if he becomes less of a jerk over time, but I want him to do it on his own terms. I'm not going to like him any less if he does or doesn't.

[ -- but that's not the point! ]

-- But he has super nice hair that he uses, like, eighty-six products on, so if I ask him to cut my hair he will give me one of those looks like I'm giving him a migraine.

I see... I see.

[ well. if akira likes him, then it's hard for venti to say anything else here. coupled with the fact that he respects his own development as a person... ]

Ehe. That's a lot of stuff just for hair. But if it makes him happy, then that's a good thing too. I can't really question that...

It sounds like he knows more about hair than I do, but like I said! I could try my best. Frankly, I've never needed a haircut myself.

He's really focused on his appearance, so he--

[ Record scratch moment as Akira's brain visibly processes for a second. ]

You've never needed a haircut? [ What magic is that and how does Akira invest in the technology, he's so tired of hair. ]

Can't help much with the frog situation, but I cut hair. I don't need payment, but if the coffee's easy for you to come by I wouldn't refuse.

[Attached to the text message is a flyer of Wrench's services.]

That would be great! I know the theory of cutting hair, but I've heard curls make it harder.

I can't let my coffee skills get too rusty here, so I'm happy to make some.

I guess that true. My hair curls, so it doesn't bother me. Back where I was before this, I made my specialty working with people with non-human physiology, so I think I can manage. If you trust me.

You're a barista? Or a roaster?

I'm willing to trust you if it gets all this hair off my head.

[ Please, he is so tired. He's getting headaches from the extra weight. He was so poorly equipped for having long hair, he doesn't even use conditioner. ]

I'm just a barista, but the kind that uses hand grinders and pourovers. I've got a small amount of guaranteed not-cursed beans left from home that came with me.

You got it. I can take it conservative at first, or shear the whole thing if you're ready to be done with it. I work out of the back of the Ritual Gig shop.

I'd prefer the non-cursed variety if you can spare it. You got any growing right now? Or are you worried about the soil here?

I'm pretty ready to be done with it.

[ Even though text he sounds exhausted about it, honestly. ]

Someone else has been supplying me with some beans they've grown, and they're... intermittently cursed? In weird ways?

So I can give you some of the stuff that's guaranteed to not make frogs spawn in your pockets.

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accidental video; un: joker

video; un: Oracle

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voice; <violet>

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video; un - venti

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do you ever type a tag, close a laptop, and 2 days later realize you never sent it

yep... 😔

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(text) | un: wrench

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