un: eudaimonikos; video

[eudaimonikos]

[Well, this is Michael's username, for sure. He seems to be looking rather different, though. Still dressed the same despite it!]

Hey, this is Michael. Just curious - is this a thing that's happening now? Are we all doing this?

Don't get me wrong, it's not a huge deal. I honestly never liked all the weird dangly bits. Not sure about the hair... [He runs a hand through it, holding it briefly up against his head; does he want it short again, or is this good?] ...but I can cut that. Guess now I have to get used to everyone calling me "she", too...

[That one, he sounds mildly irritated by. It's not the word itself, necessarily, it just took him long enough to get used to answering to the first one. Why do humans have to change their language rules every two seconds? But, he's using their language and that's how it works. His usual body was the only reason he ended up being "he", so...well, he'll just have to manage.]

Except the locals, maybe. Why do they call everyone "they", anyway? What is that? [Seems rhetorical, though; he flaps his hands dismissively.] Well, anyway. If anyone else is suddenly changing size or shape, and your wardrobe isn't working anymore, let me know and I'll just run off some new clothes for you for free. Might as well make these things a little bit easier, right?

Comments

[unphase]

Ohhhh. Well. Both are common enough in variations of my world, but there are only so many variants to find. In most, they aren't even legends, they simply don't exist. Which is a little unnerving, but I'd like to think I've gotten used to that.

[maybe. but she'd far prefer eternal sleep in the Void over what Terrans have told her about Hell]

I suppose that makes sense. Every world is unique, every world has its own stories and gods and mythologies. And paperwork is the worst. [and she nods] That maps to what I've heard from Terrans. That good people go to someplace nice and bad people go someplace terrible. And that a person is capable of changing where they go, depending upon how they act.

[eudaimonikos]

Yeah. None of their religions really got it completely right, on our world, but they've got the general gist of that.

Anyway, it was ridiculous. The entry requirements were so high for the Good Place that essentially no one made it in - no one at all, for the past half-millennium. So I've been working on adjusting those, and reviewing all the past cases to figure out who can just come over right now, and we've outlawed the torture in favor of something more rehabilitative, which is also still in development. It's been pretty busy.

[unphase]

That's Terrans for you. Of course the rest of us screw things up in our own unique ways.

Wait. You're joking. No one at all? For half of a millenium? That's...sweet Mistress, that's insane. I'm glad that you were tasked with adjusting things, though. And torture doesn't work, except to get the answer someone else was already looking for. Though, I can only imagine! The United Galaxies only needed the Legion on occasion and it still felt like we had no time to ourselves. You were likely needed all of the time.

[eudaimonikos]

Oh! It would've been great if someone had tasked me to do it!

[Is it time for Michael to be a HUGE BITCH? Sounds like it is!]

No, I had to sue them so that they'd even consider adjusting things. I had to run a year-long proof of concept to show that humans could change - like they hadn't already - and then win a court case, and then when I did, the Judge was just like "oooh, our system does suck, guess we better just destroy humanity and start over with the next species of mortals." And of course the other demons were sabotaging everything the entire time...

[unphase]

[it's cool, she's more horrified to learn the details of what he was required to do than anything. at least the Mistress isn't quite so...regimented.

as far as she knows, at least]

They were going to destroy humanity? In which reality does that make it a suitable first option as opposed to the absolute worst case scenario? Even with demons trying to sabotage things?

[eudaimonikos]

Oh, that wasn't even them, that was all the Judge. Easier to wipe the board than fix all your mistakes, I guess.

[The rant has burned itself out, but Michael's still visibly irritated.]

Most immortals don't think all that much of mortals.

[unphase]

[she can see that, so she's going to try to steer the conversation in another direction.

like it or not (and she doesn't), but she is her mother's daughter]

I suppose that's not much of a surprise. [after all, all the women did was live a couple hundred more years than Terrans and the Mistress knew that most Bgztlians had attitudes about that]

But, perhaps back to the previous topic? Interviewing to work at your store? I have...all the free time in the world, at present.

[eudaimonikos]

Yes! [Michael claps his hands together, pretty easily distracted.] Yes, let's do...tomorrow? Maybe around one?

[That'll give him plenty of time to prepare. He's not quite sure what he's going to prepare, but it seems like he ought to!]

[unphase]

One sounds perfect. Is there a particular dress code you want me to follow? I tend to favor dresses, if that helps?

[and Mistress take it, she doesn't feel the cold, so she's going to wear as many cute dresses as she can]

[eudaimonikos]

Yeah, good, that's fine. As long as you look good, I'm not that worried about it.

[Freedom of expression!]

[unphase]

All right. I'll see you then!