Alright. You and this girl are in love. But, where she is able to relate to others, and cares openly and deeply for many people? You are a person who is focused on the task at hand, the work that is put before you and you have trouble relating to people outside of that work.
Yet, you want to communicate better. That's an indication that you feel 'something' for her, even if you really aren't prepared to handle it. You're trained to kill, to fight, to whatever it is you're trained for. War's just common. You know that. You don't know love.
My first suggestion is that you speak to her the way that you do. bluntly. Candidly. Directly. Don't try to be someone else, because you can't, and if she fell in love with you, she fell in love with who you are. Not who you'd want to be for her. that's a starting point.
Try to openly, directly, one night ask her to listen and tell her that you want to try and communicate better. Go ahead and feel awkward about it because it's going to be awkward as fucking hell. Tell her that you're not good at this, but that you want to try to get better at it with her. Don't say "I love you" or anything like that. take your time with that. Start by asking what she might be comfortable talking about, that isn't "Status report. trench. day 12 of being trapped in this insane city. Encountered new people. Blood corruption appears to be..."
Each of us communicates differently, but if she's already got emotions wrapped up around you, and you've got any wrapped up around inside, the starting point is to admit to yourself you have them? And then tell her you want to be better at this.
From there, we can get into some of the rest. But this is where I suggest you start. As you, unable to speak about any emotions or desires outside of the mission at all, telling someone you've worked with that you would like to talk about something else with them.
no subject
Yet, you want to communicate better. That's an indication that you feel 'something' for her, even if you really aren't prepared to handle it. You're trained to kill, to fight, to whatever it is you're trained for. War's just common. You know that. You don't know love.
My first suggestion is that you speak to her the way that you do. bluntly. Candidly. Directly. Don't try to be someone else, because you can't, and if she fell in love with you, she fell in love with who you are. Not who you'd want to be for her. that's a starting point.
Try to openly, directly, one night ask her to listen and tell her that you want to try and communicate better. Go ahead and feel awkward about it because it's going to be awkward as fucking hell. Tell her that you're not good at this, but that you want to try to get better at it with her. Don't say "I love you" or anything like that. take your time with that. Start by asking what she might be comfortable talking about, that isn't "Status report. trench. day 12 of being trapped in this insane city. Encountered new people. Blood corruption appears to be..."
Each of us communicates differently, but if she's already got emotions wrapped up around you, and you've got any wrapped up around inside, the starting point is to admit to yourself you have them? And then tell her you want to be better at this.
From there, we can get into some of the rest. But this is where I suggest you start. As you, unable to speak about any emotions or desires outside of the mission at all, telling someone you've worked with that you would like to talk about something else with them.