( text | un: burton )

[rocinantes]

okay

what the fuck.

( that's it, that's all he's got. )

Comments

[kingoftherats]

Fine, fine! Dramatic, but whatever, bro.

... Do you wanna come hang out at the bar instead? I've got beer.

[rocinantes]

Which bar?

( yes, he's definitely willing to come out. )

I can help you drink your beer.

[kingoftherats]

Um, my bar. Duh, get with the times.

Paddy's Pub came with me! I've got all kinds of moonshine and beer, too.

...

Also whiskey, but that'll actually cost you.

[rocinantes]

You have a pub? You have a business?

( huh. )

[kingoftherats]

Uh, yeah. People pay me rocks and fish and all kinds of stuff for my moonshine.

It gets you fucked up really fast, bro.

[rocinantes]

Rocks?

If people pay you rocks, what do you do with the rocks?

[kingoftherats]

It depends! Some of them are super cool.

Like, I can trade them at food places and they give me stuff.

[Welcome to the weird and wonderful world of bartering, Amos. Get used to it.]

[rocinantes]

Huh.

( right, charlie, right. )

You get paid in rocks a lot?

[kingoftherats]

Sure! All kinds of rocks. Lots of shiny ones, too.

Oh, and someone gave me a gold tooth for a crate of moonshine. That was pretty cool.

I just wonder if I can somehow get that gold tooth to replace one of my missing ones in the back.

[rocinantes]

You're a weird guy, you know that.

( you have to know that, charlie. )

[kingoftherats]

Yeah, well. You're weird to me.

So we're even!

[rocinantes]

How am I weird?

( please fill him in. )

[kingoftherats]

You're from a weird Martian ship, that's plenty enough already.

I bet you have a lot of weird hobbies.

[rocinantes]

I like beating the shit out of people.

Does that count?

[kingoftherats]

... That doesn't seem normal.

Did you have a shitty childhood, or what? In my experience, beating the shit out of people is definitely a 'bad childhood' vibe, dude.

[rocinantes]

Something like that.

It wasn't a great childhood, no.

[kingoftherats]

Eh, yeah, well. I guess we can like... start a secret 'shitty childhood' club.

That's where being weird comes from, half the time. Shitty childhoods.

I think that's what shrinks tell you, anyway.

[rocinantes]

Never seen one of those. A shrink, I mean.

( god, that would be the worst. )

They couldn't handle me.

[kingoftherats]

Yeah, the last time I went to a therapist chick, she was okay, but that was one visit, and I think I weirded her out too much. So I think it's the same for me. But whatever, man, I'll just keep huffing spray cans and all that shit.

... I cut back on it a little, though! Healthier lifestyle!

[rocinantes]

Huffing spray cans? What kind of high does that get you?

( he's not judging, he's curious. )

[kingoftherats]

Oh, uh. It's the dopamine thing. You just feel like — amazing. You know?

Everything just kind of fades out, and you get all empty-headed.

...

But you shouldn't do it; that shit can kill you.

[rocinantes]

Yeah, I think I'll —

I think I'll skip that. Stick to booze and all.

[kingoftherats]

Ha. Twinsies!

Come by the pub, I'll make sure you're covered, dude.

[rocinantes]

All right.

Maybe sometime this week. I'll be there.