deernet | video; un:mako

Entry tags:

video; un:mako

Uh, hey. Mako here.

[ Nailing it so far, right? Mako's standing in front of a half-blue, half-green wall, dotted with small lunar sconces. Everything looks kind of dusty and half-finished, and the watery afternoon light illuminates yet more dust drifting around him.

Notably, a small dragon, red-scaled and content, is draped over his shoulders like a scarf, watching the Omni with bright eyes.

Mako glances momentarily off the screen, mouths something, and then looks back, clearing his throat. ]

It's come to my attention that a lot of you have been setting things on fire left and right since we washed up here. Obviously, this is dangerous to you and the people around you. If that's you, you need to make an effort to control it immediately before something worse than singeing your clothes happens.

For those of you who just washed up, I'm a firebender. That means I can do—

[ He holds up his left hand (scarred with strange marks) in front of himself and splays his fingers, making a small puff of fire appear and hold over his palm. It flickers there like a candle flame, dancing between Mako's fingers, before he drags it in a small arc and lets it go out. ]

—that, and—

[ Another flick of his fingers, this time producing little purple-bright sparks that zap between the tips and then dissipate. ]

—that. And a lot more.

So. If you need help learning to control your powers, and you do, come to the Raccoon Room in Cellar Door on Wednesdays. You'll see the sign. I've been doing this since I was a kid. Anyone else who wants to help, feel free to drop by too.

[ Finally, he looks up, his serious expression dropping just slightly. ]

Trust me. If a bunch of snotty six-year-olds back home can learn how to do it, you can.

[ The little dragon huffs in agreement, fire puffing out of its nose, and Mako reaches forward to cut the feed. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Richie got me another bag. (He sighs dramatically.) It's not a designer brand, but I guess it's fine.

(It was awful and tacky but Eddie loved it because Richie got it for him. It was as simple as that. But he still did miss his other bag.)

That's actually a great starting point. I think Richie panics whenever he does set a fire cause it's suddenly 'oh no. How do we stop this?'

(He snorts.)

I have a hunch the locals might be used to it. (But...) Do you think the locals are worth - I dunno. Even bothering with? They don't seem like the Townsfolk.

What is it about designer bags? It's just a bag by a person. Isn't every bag by a person?

[ You'd think he'd be more tuned into this having watched Wu engage with this stuff for so long, but no. No, he's still an idiot.

Anyway, his face twists a second later. Always been too expressive for his own good. ]

You had some pretty nasty experiences with the locals back in Deerington, right? I think we need to keep our guard up and not give them the benefit of the doubt until they've earned it. Anything else is asking for trouble.

(Eddie takes a very deep breath and folds his hands over his face.

It's okay. He's just a fucking moron. Don't take it personally. It can't be helped.)

Designer brands are cultivated from pieces of art. When you have a designer brand handbag, I mean a really genuine, nice one, you're holding this piece of art that was made with unique materials and specialized techniques that wants to put a message into the world. It's about appreciating life beyond just functionality.

It's about caring about the world you're in. There are different ways to do that, but for some people, clothing is everything. It's what we live our lives in. Every day. We're not a nudist colony here. Clothes are culture, they're belief systems, they're morals, they're hopes and dreams.

You think you're just wearing that outfit because it's the norm for you to wear it? Someone designed that, man. The outfit leaked down from something way bigger than you could possibly imagine and you think you're uninvolved in it but you're not. If there's anything that separates us from animals, it's fashion and what we do with it.

I mean God, if we really just were baseless creatures who wanted clothes to survive, we'd never see anything outside of functionality. We'd all be wearing like - fucking boiled leather and protecting our genitals and our heads and chests and that's about it. But we don't. Everyone feels better in clothes that fit them, clothes that serve a purpose more than just covering up their body. Even if it's being comfortable or functional.

And bags are worth so much. Designer bags are unbelievably sturdy and they're beautiful and usually a literal investment. Clothes can go out of fashion, but handbags become valuable relics. It's this whole fucking thing, man.

(....Okay wait what were they talking about. Eddie takes a deep breath.)

You know what? Like, just listen to the queen herself.

(...Right. Deerington.

Focus.)

Yeah, tons. They were fucking - lunatics. These people seem a little more like actual people but that can mean they're way more dangerous.

(A beat.)

Sorry. I get worked up about fashion.

[ The thing is:

Mako does listen to that whole thing. Partially because it takes him more than slightly by surprise, and partially because Eddie clearly cares about it and has a good point—there's a reason Mako tried to find more than just whatever rags he and Bolin could scrounge up for them. Mako's more than his clothes but he knows that what he wears tells people something about him, the same as his face and his voice and the words he uses. People are always judging each other about surface stuff.

He hadn't considered bags—more function than form, always—in that light, but Eddie has a point that they're just as woven into the fashion ecosystem as everything else, although— ]

I get that it's important. And I get that people are going to judge you based on what you're wearing. It's just.

[ How does he say this? Mako still doesn't have the words to talk about wealth and privilege in a way that makes sense: he doesn't know the concepts by name even if he knows them in his heart. He frowns at himself for a second, trying to figure out what it is he's actually trying to say here. ]

Okay. Back home, right? Wu would drag me to all these parties with all these rich people and they'd talk about getting this special designer to make a jacket or whatever it was. A bag, sure. And it's a nice bag. I get that too. It looks good, and everyone wants to look good. But it's not just about looking nice.

[ Spirits this is hard. Maybe he needs to change tracks. ]

...way I see it, that stuff is a way for rich people to tell other people they're rich. Any one of those pieces of clothing they were wearing probably one time, just that night, could've paid for our food for a year.

(Eddie listens and, truthfully, he gets it. But it's exactly because he gets it. He exhales very slowly and then shakes his head.)

You're not wrong, but you're also not totally right either. I mean you are, but it's not just rich people bragging about being rich. Sometimes it is, but it's easy to generalize an entire group like that. And not for nothing, dude, but you could argue the 'this could paid for our food' for a lot of stuff. In my country, pretty much all our taxes go to military shit. One tank could pay for a family's meal plan for an entire year too and my country has a really fucking excessive military. The sentiment can be said for pretty much anything that's technically nice - but it's all about perspective, y'know?

And on the flip side, yeah, you see the dress and think, 'that could pay for my family's food for a year.' But whoever made that dress probably got paid to feed their family for a year or send their kid to school. I mean, theoretically. Obviously, people are taken advantage of in the workforce but that's not just for designer bags. You get cheap stuff that's made in shitty conditions too.

(That's just capitalism, really, and Eddie understands the scope and idea of it all, but ironically, he can't remember the word 'capitalism' for the life of him.)

And back to the point - it's not just a "haha I'm rich!" thing. Y'know, I was probably the second poorest out of my friend group growing up? My best friends all came from way wealthier houses than I did. I used to walk the nice side of town and just fantasize about living in these big, pretty houses. But the nicest thing I owned was this shitty fake ring I dug out of a cereal box. But I wore that sucker around all the time like it made me the richest eleven-year-old around.

(He rolls his eyes at his past self.)

You wouldn't know it now, but I really did used to dress to shit. Oversized shirts so my momma wouldn't have to spend money every year to update my wardrobe...Not that I ever had many growth spurts til recently...But thing is, I get it. I was dirt poor. But then when I started being successful on my own terms, without my mom's help, it's really fucking - I don't know. Validating to be able to be like "look what I did for myself that you never did." It feels like I made it on my own without her. I dunno. My nice clothes and designer handbags aren't just about looking nice. They represent this whole part of my life that I got to overcome. And, like, honestly, embracing a part of myself that I could have never really showed off back home.

(Shown off, Eddie, but he eases back, frowning in thought.)

It's kinda cool to know I did this for myself and I'm almost sixteen. Most people take a lot longer to get this far.

[ Mako can see that, for sure. He'd wrapped his father's scarf around himself like armor, after all, used it like a shield against the world, had been so happy to see himself in the dinner jacket in that fancy restaurant, dressed like someone Asami could actually date.

Mako just doesn't even have the words, the anything to admit he wanted those things. They'd always felt stupid and silly, those wants, in a world where he had to survive. So many social pressures intersected to make sure that Mako, the little boy who loved his mother's hairpins and the fabric of her dresses, became Mako the hard-shelled rough-edged boy who couldn't even look twice at a nice pair of pants because that isn't for people like him.

He doesn't have the words for any of that, and so mostly it's just a sad lonely ache he's not even really aware he feels, even now as it wells up sharp and fast.

Eddie made that for himself. Against the odds, and knowing what it's like to have next to nothing, to live in a world that doesn't value anything you are.

Mako ducks his head after a long moment, letting the silence at the end of all of Eddie's words linger. ]

It is cool.

[ Three words, rough but earnest. Mako can't even explain what he's feeling. That he wants that, but that he's never been allowed to want it. That he had to shove down all of those urges, even when he was a pro-bender, because rent and Bolin and food came first and at some point Mako forgot how to want things. ]

Honestly?

I've never met someone else who... I don't know. Had nothing. And then had something. The one guy I thought would get it turned out to be a bender-hating Equalist asshole. I love Wu, and my friends, but I don't.

[ Struggling! So much! With these words! He swallows and tries again. ]

Korra never had to worry about money because she's the Avatar. Asami grew up the richest person in Republic City, and Wu's the Earth King. And the way they talk about things sometimes it's obvious they never had to... that they just don't think about it. The same way. You know?

(Eddie has always been wildly sensitive to other people. It was part of why it had been so easy for his mother to abuse him the way she did. She used his sensitivity against him every single day, coaxing him with guilt trips about how she couldn't stand to lose him. She used his father's death against him almost weekly. He anticipated whenever his friends were upset, feeling preemptively anxious, like a mental flinch from a potential blow that never came from people who actually loved him.

Eddie had never realized before that his mother had done to him what most physical abusers do to their victims. Instead of anticipating a hit, he anticipated someone using their feelings against him to rob him of his own. To force him into a corner.

It has made him agonizingly observant of other people's emotions. It's a survival tactic, mostly, because he needs to be able to tell when someone is about to be cruel.

But over the years, it has also just made him plainly aware of people who are processing something at a deeper level than they might verbally admit. It's just a read, not always accurate, and often times it was even heavily distorted by his own sense of anxiety and uncertainty. Sometimes he read things that weren't there at all.

This time, however, he just listens, just watches, and stares with wide, unblinking gray eyes. It's not like he's never noticed the constant scarf or the meticulously militant style Mako maintained. He knew the guy was stiffer than Wu both emotionally and in presentation.

He expected some push back, so when Mako gets through calling it cool what Eddie did followed by everything else...Well. Eddie knew what Mako was saying even if he couldn't say it explicitly.)

Yeah, I do know.

(Soft, patient.)

When you have everything, it's easy to feel like you need nothing to embellish who you are or where you come from. For other people, we know what it's like to just be defined solely by what we wear or how we look to other people. What our houses look like. People don't give us the chance to prove ourselves beyond that sometimes.

(He tips his head, looking at Mako with slightly brighter eyes now.)

Y'know. If you ever wanted to go shopping with me, I'd like the company. We're not in the Earth Kingdom anymore. I bet there are some cool places you'd like here too?

(It's a tentative effort. But Eddie thinks it's important to try. To at least know Mako was allowed to want to try.)

[ It is, really, a ridiculously kind offer, even if it makes Mako snort and breaks that simmering tension all at once. Eddie understands, and that's why despite everything between them, despite Mako's clear memories of a face very similar to the one in front of him illuminated and uncaring as he stopped Mako's heart—despite all that, he still seeks this kid out. When he doesn't understand, he tries to.

Like Wu. ]

Long as Wu's allowed to come. I don't think I'd hear the end of it if I went clothes shopping without him.

...thanks.

You've been judged a lot, huh?

Yeah, of course, dude. Wu's always welcome.

(This kind of thing was precisely the reason why Eddie tried to keep the murder thing at a distance. He'd never exactly blame the guy for maybe always being wary of him, but Eddie was glad it didn't ruin any chances of a relationship permanently. He liked having Mako in his life - and he liked having Wu in his life too.)

Have you met me? I give people a lot of things to judge for. Some make more sense than others.

I don't know that you're giving them people. People just... judge, no matter what. Like we talked about. It's what they do.

[ Why is this always so hard to explain? Mako is terrible at this. ]

Doesn't make it fun, even if it's normal.

Dude.

(Eddie gives Mako a dramatic really? look. Then he holds up his hand and begins to count everything off with fingers:)

I'm flamboyant, I'm Polish, I'm from the 1950s, I'm extremely annoying to listen to because I get really loud, I never shut up, I cry all the time and if I'm not crying I'm probably shrieking or having a panic attack, I've literally killed people. I like dudes. I am terrible with first impressions. I regularly insult people without meaning to and sometimes meaning to. I'm not nice and I'm not even funny. I'm certifiably crazy. And now I have the weird blood that's literally poison. Take your fucking pick.

(....)

Plus I'm a huge Swiftie and apparently that's a crime in the future.

(It should be criminal to dislike Taylor Swift but that's not the subject.)

I can also be super judgmental and shitty myself so like good people are usually put off. It's not that shocking.

[ Listening to that list in full doesn't mean Mako understands that list in full. "Polish" means nothing to him, and the time period means very little, and what... could Swiftie possibly mean? It sounds like a word Wu would use, but Mako has absolutely zero context to go off here, so he mostly just looks confused and a little resigned, and, strangely, understanding. ]

Half those words mean nothing to me. Just so you know.

[ Just had to get that out of the way. ]

You trying to change those things?

[ Mako could probably list off a hundred things about himself that put people off and end up with a decent amount of overlap, which, again, is probably why he and Eddie get along despite everything. He doesn't know how many of his own list he's trying to change, or what needs changing.

Some of it, for sure. Mako's trying to be a better person, even when it's hard and exhausting and goes against everything he's learned how to do. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

video; un:mako

no subject

no subject

1/3

putso n the devil wears prada 4 my response

jk 3/4

no subject

no subject

god i had to immediately reply

I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS

MAKO >:OOOOOOO (cw: mental abuse from parent to child)

THESE BOYS THO

THEY MAKE<,,ME HAVE EMOTIONS

no subject

cw: every kind of -ism and -phobia

no subject