deernet | video; un: tabris | locked from un:younghuman

[A young boy appears on the screen! He's sitting on... maybe the roof of a house? You can see the tops of buildings in Gaze behind him. But that's not important. What's important is what he has to say-]

How do you throw a great human birthday party? Not just the stuff with cake, gifts and people, I'm already know about all of that basic stuff. The extra things that make it a really good party. The kind that creates important memories that you can look back on and feel those pleasant feelings again.

[For some reason, this matters, apparently.]

Anyway, the first of the month was Paul's birthday. [No need to elaborate on that one. If you know, you know.] So we're going to do something next month, on the first, instead. It's a surprise, so don't tell him. You know he'd say something like "that's not necessary, it's just my birthday and it will interrupt me sitting in the dark and contemplating my terrible purpose so I'm busy and also no one can use the shower for the next hour".

So it's up to me and the rest of you to make it a good one that he likes. If you're Paul's friend or lived at the beach camp, gimme ideas and then show up and bring a gift. He needs something to strain rice with so he stops using his hands.

((ooc; a log for the party will go up ~~next week(ish)~~ this weekend! If you have CR with Paul you are invited, no reply necessary.))

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Uh, a great "human" party? As opposed to what other kind of party?

[Not that it matters; someone heard the words really good party and instantly came running.]

Sounds like you got a real shut-in on your hands there, bud. You're trying to liven him up, huh?

Is he seriously straining rice with his fucking hands.

Okay, well, now half the town's gonna buy him a strainer, I guess.
In the meantime, you mostly make good parties by inviting the right people and letting things happen.
Do weird stuff. Stuff that you wouldn't feel comfortable doing outside of a party.
You can get away with a lot if you use that as an excuse.

Oh my gosh.

You are in luck.

I am the absolute best when it comes to birthday parties.

First we need a giant banner with his name on it. I think I have one that says Jaune on it. But I can paint over it so says Paul.

And then we need megaphones.

A bunch of megaphones.

And then when he comes into the house we all surround him and shout surprise!

Could probably rig up some machines to shoot confetti at and around him.

[a girl, more or less paul's age, probably, in a fashionable charcoal dress cut just low enough to show off her black buckle necklace. and a dog, probably, in a matching charcoal collar. the girl seems a little flustered, the dog merely interested.]

A nameday party? [for ~paul~?] I can help. I was helping to throw a feast, before I came here. Would you happen to know his measurements for a shirt, or a tunic?

Beer and babes. That is literally all you need at a party.

Oh and some good tunes. I think I've got a mix tape or two that you can use.

I'd say a stripper too but he's a little young for that shit.

Hell I don't think there any rules that say no here so throw one of those in too.

Games. You should pick ones that are easy to pick up and easy to drop in and out of, like shiritori or fighting video games.

Edited 2022-03-22 01:48 (UTC)

....He's got no right playing Life Coach if he's that bad in the kitchen.

[Says the Teen Wonder who is also Life Coach to many disastrous adults, but can function more than effectively in the kitchen.]

Seriously, though? That varies between people.

[Oscar, easing up on the sass finally, offered a mild chuckle.]

I don't think pinatas are gonna do it for him.

A party, you say?

[ sup, kaworu. it's that blonde girl from the beach camp. you know, the one that ran a few odd experiments involving cutting fish open? it's fine. don't worry about it. ]

What excellent news! I happen to be an expert on the subject. [ she cracks her knuckles. ] Now, then, let's start with location. Exactly where do you intend to host this?

I dunno. But it should be a human party for a human, right?

[Or at least that's the logic in his little brain.]

He can be fun but he forgets how. And a lot of stuff happened lately. So I wan't him to remember.

Is that what he's been doing?

Tell him I said to get some fresh air or I'll drag him outside and throw him in a lake.

There's a thing to strain rice with? Get him one of those. He needs one.

...Like what? Getting naked? Humans usually aren't comfortable with that.

Edited (spacing ) 2022-03-22 02:51 (UTC)

Well, he's going to be at the house because I told him it was my birthday to throw him off the trail.

[He says, with the tone of someone who is quite certain they're a fucking genius.]

But bring the banner! And paint his name in black!

He does get fresh air when we practice gravity flips. We jumped off the roof yesterday. But then he wastes a lot of time brooding.

So throw him in a lake anyway.

I mean...sure? I guess you wouldn't throw a dog birthday party for a human, that's true.

[Boy, he feels that whole "a lot of stuff happened lately" sentiment. Feels it deep in his still-living-and-not-devoured bones.]

Well, see, there's a couple of keys to any good party. Number one: great music. A party with no tunes? Total lead balloon. You gotta have the beat that's hot.

[god save us all from this absolute millennial idiot.]

Number two: great food and great booze. Loosens everybody up, right? You eat, you mingle, you drink, you laugh. Now everybody's having a great time.

And number three, very important. Very, very important.

[Wait for it.]

Hot girls who want to dance. Now that's a guarantee for a good time.

[MICHAEL.]

You jumped off a roof and I wasn't invited?

Nameday? Is that another word for it?

[He's never heard of it but she seems to be able to have made the connection. It's curious, so many names for different things.

On the second question, he thinks for a few seconds.]

Measurements? I guess. He's about this tall-[Gestures about a head taller as Kaworu is quite short] and this wide around for the most part-[loops his arms in a fairly small circumference. This is... clearly supposed to be helpful!]

I doubt you know any women, so I guess you should bring beer.

Edited 2022-03-22 02:42 (UTC)

[surely someone in paul's house is making his shirts?]

Well, your nameday is the day you were born and named. And I'll need his measurements in feet and inches, or in string. His height, the width of his shoulders, waist, and chest, the length of his arms, and the circumference of his neck, upper arm, forearm, and wrists. The distance from his shoulders to waist, and his waist to his hips as well. Perhaps you could ask whoever it is that makes his clothes at present?

And you should find his favorite type of cake, and any other favorite foods he has, and play music that he likes. I could help you if you tell me what it is.

[she just wants to help with the party and has no other motive in gathering information on paul atreides.]

Edited 2022-03-22 02:47 (UTC)

That's right. It's easier for humans to socialize if they have an activity to do.

...How do I find a video game?

It's really ambitious to take something like this on when you admit to knowing virtually nothing about it. I wouldn't worry overly about the details. Your intentions and effort will likely be appreciated, to the point where he hopefully won't spend most of the event in the shower or the dark.

It doesn't matter. He's going to do it anyway and it's not worth telling him otherwise. And I know it varies but I need something to start with. I've never been to a party before.

[An expert! She is certainly telling the truth and if she is not, it doesn't matter because she is certainly telling the truth!]

At our house. It's a mansion in Gaze. It should fit a lot of people.

We do it every other day for training. You should come next time.

Isn't ambition considered a positive trait amongst humans?

This is something I want to do. And I don't want it just to be appreciated, I want it to be good.

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