video; un: tabris | locked from un:younghuman

[peripheries]

[A young boy appears on the screen! He's sitting on... maybe the roof of a house? You can see the tops of buildings in Gaze behind him. But that's not important. What's important is what he has to say-]

How do you throw a great human birthday party? Not just the stuff with cake, gifts and people, I'm already know about all of that basic stuff. The extra things that make it a really good party. The kind that creates important memories that you can look back on and feel those pleasant feelings again.

[For some reason, this matters, apparently.]

Anyway, the first of the month was Paul's birthday. [No need to elaborate on that one. If you know, you know.] So we're going to do something next month, on the first, instead. It's a surprise, so don't tell him. You know he'd say something like "that's not necessary, it's just my birthday and it will interrupt me sitting in the dark and contemplating my terrible purpose so I'm busy and also no one can use the shower for the next hour".

So it's up to me and the rest of you to make it a good one that he likes. If you're Paul's friend or lived at the beach camp, gimme ideas and then show up and bring a gift. He needs something to strain rice with so he stops using his hands.

((ooc; a log for the party will go up next week(ish) this weekend! If you have CR with Paul you are invited, no reply necessary.))

Comments

video; un: misterpresident

[quicktimer]

Uh, a great "human" party? As opposed to what other kind of party?

[Not that it matters; someone heard the words really good party and instantly came running.]

Sounds like you got a real shut-in on your hands there, bud. You're trying to liven him up, huh?

[peripheries]

I dunno. But it should be a human party for a human, right?

[Or at least that's the logic in his little brain.]

He can be fun but he forgets how. And a lot of stuff happened lately. So I wan't him to remember.

text; username: grollschwert

[hauntedsavior]

Is he seriously straining rice with his fucking hands.

Okay, well, now half the town's gonna buy him a strainer, I guess.
In the meantime, you mostly make good parties by inviting the right people and letting things happen.
Do weird stuff. Stuff that you wouldn't feel comfortable doing outside of a party.
You can get away with a lot if you use that as an excuse.

[peripheries]

There's a thing to strain rice with? Get him one of those. He needs one.

...Like what? Getting naked? Humans usually aren't comfortable with that.

Video | UN: ClickClickBloom

[onekindsoul]

Oh my gosh.

You are in luck.

I am the absolute best when it comes to birthday parties.

First we need a giant banner with his name on it. I think I have one that says Jaune on it. But I can paint over it so says Paul.

And then we need megaphones.

A bunch of megaphones.

And then when he comes into the house we all surround him and shout surprise!

Could probably rig up some machines to shoot confetti at and around him.

[peripheries]

Well, he's going to be at the house because I told him it was my birthday to throw him off the trail.

[He says, with the tone of someone who is quite certain they're a fucking genius.]

But bring the banner! And paint his name in black!

video; un: lady

[dohaeris]

[a girl, more or less paul's age, probably, in a fashionable charcoal dress cut just low enough to show off her black buckle necklace. and a dog, probably, in a matching charcoal collar. the girl seems a little flustered, the dog merely interested.]

A nameday party? [for ~paul~?] I can help. I was helping to throw a feast, before I came here. Would you happen to know his measurements for a shirt, or a tunic?

[peripheries]

Nameday? Is that another word for it?

[He's never heard of it but she seems to be able to have made the connection. It's curious, so many names for different things.

On the second question, he thinks for a few seconds.]

Measurements? I guess. He's about this tall-[Gestures about a head taller as Kaworu is quite short] and this wide around for the most part-[loops his arms in a fairly small circumference. This is... clearly supposed to be helpful!]

Video UN: 1stStrike

[strikefirster]

Beer and babes. That is literally all you need at a party.

Oh and some good tunes. I think I've got a mix tape or two that you can use.

I'd say a stripper too but he's a little young for that shit.

Hell I don't think there any rules that say no here so throw one of those in too.

[peripheries]

I doubt you know any women, so I guess you should bring beer.

video; un: A.

[fabrications]

Games. You should pick ones that are easy to pick up and easy to drop in and out of, like shiritori or fighting video games.

[peripheries]

That's right. It's easier for humans to socialize if they have an activity to do.

...How do I find a video game?

video | un: diggs 1/2

[justoscar]

....He's got no right playing Life Coach if he's that bad in the kitchen.

[Says the Teen Wonder who is also Life Coach to many disastrous adults, but can function more than effectively in the kitchen.]

video | un: diggs 2/2

[justoscar]

Seriously, though? That varies between people.

[Oscar, easing up on the sass finally, offered a mild chuckle.]

I don't think pinatas are gonna do it for him.

video; un: trapmaster

[loopsbian]

A party, you say?

[ sup, kaworu. it's that blonde girl from the beach camp. you know, the one that ran a few odd experiments involving cutting fish open? it's fine. don't worry about it. ]

What excellent news! I happen to be an expert on the subject. [ she cracks her knuckles. ] Now, then, let's start with location. Exactly where do you intend to host this?

[peripheries]

[An expert! She is certainly telling the truth and if she is not, it doesn't matter because she is certainly telling the truth!]

At our house. It's a mansion in Gaze. It should fit a lot of people.

text; un: bad.apple

[laniidae]

Is that what he's been doing?

Tell him I said to get some fresh air or I'll drag him outside and throw him in a lake.

[peripheries]

He does get fresh air when we practice gravity flips. We jumped off the roof yesterday. But then he wastes a lot of time brooding.

So throw him in a lake anyway.

text; un: enpawnsant

[hearthebell]

It's really ambitious to take something like this on when you admit to knowing virtually nothing about it.

I wouldn't worry overly about the details. Your intentions and effort will likely be appreciated, to the point where he hopefully won't spend most of the event in the shower or the dark.

[peripheries]

Isn't ambition considered a positive trait amongst humans?

This is something I want to do. And I don't want it just to be appreciated, I want it to be good.

video; un: natsume.takashi

[natzoom]

[Extremely pained:] You...don't have to strain rice.

[peripheries]

...What?

video; un: GoldenFlowers

[the_obedient_servant]

Have you considered that maybe straining rice with his hands in penance for his perceived sins? Perhaps that's what he's brooding in the dark about.

I'd like to come.

[peripheries]

I think he's just clueless about how else to do it.

[Otherwise, bud, they gotta talk.]

Then come!

Text UN: glyphywitchy

[imaglyphwitch]

Hello, I've got a question.

You mentioned a Paul. That wouldn't by chance be a Paul Atreides, would it?

[peripheries]

Tall, handsome, suffering from terrible purpose? Yeah, that's him.

video; un bluebird69

[venatoris]

I dunno who the hell Paul is, but one good way to do it is to contact me and have it at the arcade. Got food, music, drinks, the whole shebang.

[peripheries]

I think it's going to be at our house. Some people prefer to stay there, inside, but still need to come.

[A pause, considering.]

Why don't you bring all that stuff to our house? I'll help carry it all.

video: un; apparition

[unphase]

[Tinya's sitting in a low-backed armchair, two kittens at her feet, a third--her Omen--perched on the armrest, and there is indeed a batkitten fluttering around in and out of the omni's view]

I don't know him personally, but if it's the same Paul I've seen commenting here and there on the network, he needs to relax a little. The best thing in the world to relax someone is tequila shots. [pause] Well, the second best thing.

[peripheries]

He does, doesn't he? He doesn't sleep and his not-sleeping keeps me up.

[For like 45 minutes and then Kaworu is out like a light but... you know. And that's less important than:]

What's the first thing and what's tequila? Isn't being shot usually deadly to humans?

text: un; an.observer

[thisislife]

Photographs. Lots and lots of photographs of him with all of his friends. That's what makes memories special, you can look back at the pictures and remember all the good times you had together.

I still have photos from my fourth birthday party with my best friend there, blowing out the candles with me. Then we roller skated, but that's probably not an option.

[peripheries]

Ah, photographs. That's right. This thing can take them and humans like to look at them.

[He waves the Omni around so the camera shakes.]

I'm not sure what rollerskating is, but I could look into it. What's this about candles, anyway?

text | un: graham crackers (cw: drugs ofc)

[possessum]

Really good weed can help make a birthday pretty special

[peripheries]

Why would someone want weeds for their birthday.

video; un: morningstar

[morningstud]

Well... I suppose it depends. Though I honestly don't believe parties are all that different between sentient species.

...Though as a celestial, I can't get drunk.

[.......]

Anyway, I do believe an excellent component of a good party is music!

[peripheries]

I'm going to teach skeletons to play the songs from the movie Shrek on piano. That should suffice, right?

un: falcogrice

[grice]

Paul would know how to use a spoon to strain rice. Right?

[peripheries]

Nope.

video; un: mouse.club

[ramshackled]

I don't know Paul obviously, but I'm pretty familiar with helping host birthdays.

Do you know what kind of stuff he's interested in? His passions? What kind of essentials is he missing? I mean... besides needing something to strain his rice properly.

[peripheries]

He likes learning to cook and do chores. And just learning in general. He also likes the sunrise and green tea.

Books for learning are good gifts but that's not the party itself.

video; un; glitch

[glitchinthesystem]

[ He may not really know who this guy is or who the party is for, but Glitch kind of stares at the post with a raised brow. "A great human birthday" is enough alarm bells to tell him this kid probably isn't human.

As for everything else? Well, Glitch has to say something....because he always has to say something; ]

Uh.

Celebrate the fact you lived another year and didn't die of starvation or disease?

I dunno. Go read a book about it?

Birthdays are kind of just a waste of time in my opinion.

[peripheries]

He did die, actually. He missed his birthday because he was dead.

[Kaworu would be inclined to agree in general. But this isn't about him. This is about Paul. So he actually finds himself a little defensive.]

If you find them a waste of time then isn't responding just a further waste of your time? It seems like you desired validation and I think... that's part of why humans like birthdays. It's a validation of their existence.

video; un: atsushi

[undermoonlight]

For Makoto-chan's birthday, Usagi-chan said that the most important thing would be the people attending. We got her best friends to come and celebrate her birth. And Usagi-chan helped to theme it with her favorite things, like roses and baking..?

Does your friend have something like that you could use as a theme?

[peripheries]

Uh, cooking. But he's not very good at it.

Oh, and sandworms. He loves sandworms.

text | un: shithog

[foulhussy]

was that the weird little nerd that planned the fishing trip
by that i mean the killing the big fucking fish monster
sure i'll do something for that weirdo he looks like he needs it

anyway fuck if i know what a human birthday looks like
one time grandma taught me how to trap rabbits and called me a bitchass fuckwad
i guess thats how they work

[peripheries]

Yeah, that's Paul.

...Can you teach Paul to trap rabbits then? You can call him a "bitchass fuckwad" too, it's fine.

text | un: UNOWEN

[forwantofahorse]

Hmmm. I've literally never had a birthday party myself for a wide variety of reasons, but I can chip in.

I've been trying to distill more Coors Banquet as a gift of Lawrence-sensei. I'm pretty sure I failed, but it should be fun to see what drinking the result will do to our bodies, lmao

[peripheries]

...As long as it doesn't kill anyone it's probably fine.