deernet | un: eudaimonikos; video

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un: eudaimonikos; video

Hello, Trench! Boy, that's a fun name for a city, isn't it? Trrrrrrench. Sounds...about like what it is, I guess.

So! [He claps his hands together.] Who's here from Deerington? Man, it must've been at least a century since I saw you guys! How's it been? Oh - oh, and look! Eleanor made it too!

[He reaches off-screen to fling his arm around the neck of what, when he pulls it over in front of the camera, proves to be an enormous dappled grey Warg. Her teeth are huge. She's still wearing her enchanted leather war-armor, which really just makes the optics here worse.]

This is my dog, Eleanor! Also, I'm Michael, for all the new folks. I was in the nightmare city before this one, and then I went home for a little bit.

So - what's everyone up to? And what's with the new phones? Are we all using weird, smoky first-generation birds as phones now?

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Oh, you know - reality glitches, occasionally things getting sucked into the interdimensional void. We had a handle on it for a while, it just wouldn't stop.

Huh.

( doesn't sound like a good time. )

So, you made the choice to come back? Or did you get sucked back here?

Well...I decided to, but it really wasn't much of a choice. I'm responsible for taking care of everyone in the Good Place - I couldn't just sit back and let it keep doing that.

So, who's watching the place while you're gone?

( did you leave the kids without a chaperone, michael? )

Janet. She's more competent than me anyway. It wouldn't have worked out back when we started - she's an artificial being, they're usually not in charge of things - but we've put in enough good work this past century. Honestly, at this point, they ought to know she's more competent than all of them, too.

Did you have a dog last time I saw you? Or is that a new addition?

( cute little thing. )

I probably did! Had her most of the time I was in Deerington. But we weren't always together, or anything, not until the end there.

[After things got really bad, he'd rode her around a lot.]

She's cute. I had a dog in Deerington and he somehow made it to this place. Not sure I wanna know how.

( considering he hadn't seen aleksander for a few months there. )

But, we found our house and the dog and cat we had were in there like nothing was wrong.

Huh. Neat! I didn't know that could happen! I haven't found my house yet, but maybe if I look around a little...

[He'd love to just move back in, he liked that house]

Where are you even at? This place seems bigger than Deerington ever did.

( though that could be because that had been a dream and this was almost too real. after so long in one place, it's a little hard to adjust. )

Oh...I don't know, just sort of exploring. There's a lot of neat canals here!

Canals?

( strange thing to be interested in but what does he know? )

You got a thing for canals, then?

They're pretty! Interesting, too - such a fun architectural choice for a species that doesn't swim that well!

The water's not blood, is it?

( he wouldn't be surprised if it was. )

Doesn't seem to be. It's just...like Venice! You're from an Earth, right?

Yeah, I'm from Earth. And I've been through Venice but considering the way blood seems to be treated here, it wouldn't have surprised me.

( he would have just had to stay away from it. )

Guessing no gondola rides either, huh?

No, no, there's boats. I wouldn't go swimming in there, but the boats seem fine.

[Water was kinda gross-looking, that's all]

Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna go for a swim anywhere in this city.

( it just doesn't seem like a smart move. )

I'll have to check it out. I don't think I've been to half the places in this city yet. Town, whatever. It feels bigger than Deerington.

Yeah. I sort of miss the trees...this is a lot more urban than I'm really used to.

Yeah.

( he misses the trees for a different reason. trees meant forests where he could find animals to feed off of instead of people. )

I haven't really gotten a chance to explore but this is a lot to suddenly deal with. I'd been in Bulgaria just prior. That was nice, quiet. Not so bloody.

I'd hope so. I've been a few bloodier places, but none of that was...

[.....]

...well, maybe it was real blood, but they were all dead already anyway.

You've lived an interesting life.

( that's genuine. )

Did you kill them?

Of course not. You can't kill anyone from the afterlife.

[Though there's still guilt in his frown, because that's the only reason. If he'd had the capacity - sure, he's sure he'd have killed plenty of humans in his time. Maybe the only reason humans are still around is that things like him couldn't get at them.]

If you can't kill them, how did they die?

( since he'd just said they were dead. stefan frowns. )

Or is it that you can't kill them but they can die?

Well, sure they can. They died on Earth somehow, and then they went to the afterlife.

[Michael has no idea how they died, really - or rather, he probably knew for some of them, but there were a lot and it's not that relevant right now.]

You can't kill them after that, though. They're already dead.

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