Lêxï HðwårÐ (
thisislife) wrote in
deernet2022-04-11 12:12 pm
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Entry tags:
video: un; an.observer
[Lexi looks dreamy and uncertain and a little sad, but she's trying to smile]
I, um. Has anyone else talked to people from home through one of those portal things and, uh, gotten spoilers for their own life? Because I have and it's weird? I'm glad for some of it, sad for some of it and I kinda need to talk this out. If that's okay?
[there's a long pause as Lexi looks off to the side, and arranges Orville so he's sitting on her shoulder, Orville immediately moving in to comfort Lexi by snuffling at her neck. she reaches up idly to pet him]
Also. I'd kinda like a roommate? I live in Gaze in a Lemon Cake house. My room's the one with blue and yellow wallpaper. [a long pause] I've never lived on my own before and I don't think I like it.
((OOC: there will be spoilers for Season 2 of Euphoria, event log to follow later on because the boss' wife is in today, woe!))
I, um. Has anyone else talked to people from home through one of those portal things and, uh, gotten spoilers for their own life? Because I have and it's weird? I'm glad for some of it, sad for some of it and I kinda need to talk this out. If that's okay?
[there's a long pause as Lexi looks off to the side, and arranges Orville so he's sitting on her shoulder, Orville immediately moving in to comfort Lexi by snuffling at her neck. she reaches up idly to pet him]
Also. I'd kinda like a roommate? I live in Gaze in a Lemon Cake house. My room's the one with blue and yellow wallpaper. [a long pause] I've never lived on my own before and I don't think I like it.
((OOC: there will be spoilers for Season 2 of Euphoria, event log to follow later on because the boss' wife is in today, woe!))
no subject
Oh, dude. Dude. I was terrified of coming out to my folks. I put it off until like, literally right before I went away for university because I figured if they disowned me I'd have already moved out. I was worried about my mom, especially, she's... uh. A little intense. I always felt like she wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer and meet a nice girl and give her grandkids, you know? My little brother figured me out when I was like, fifteen, though.
Yes! See, okay, that's SMART though, that's how you get scholarships! Dude, totally put on your play, you can't live your life trying not to annoy other people all the time. That's so creative.
[He's so excited now.] Okay, me too! Even with the same bloodtype there's so many variations - I can't do telekinesis to save my fucking life. Like, literally. Oh, try not to die here, it sucks. But, yeah, dude, there's a lot of stuff in the Archives that can help. And it might take time. It took me forever to figure out anything abut mine. Some stuff is only like, now working semi reliably and I've been here since September.
(CW: alcoholism, mid aughts expectations of afab relationships))
Then it sounds like you had a wise and observant little brother. Me? I don't think mom would have freaked. Kind of hard to do that when you're passing out in the living room easy chair every night with a bottle of white zin tucked in close. And Cassie was such a mess that me being bisexual would be like throwing a pebble into a pond. As long as she was suitably butch and we had a turkey-baster baby or two. One of which having mom's genes, she's Jewish and proud. My BFF of my early teens, Rue, would have been perfect.
I like to how so! And I try to not worry, but it's got Cassie in it in a large role. Since my character, Grace, is there to be the foil.
[so is she!] Oh my gods, really? Really? That's reassuring, that even with months of training, I might not get to the peak with all of them. Even though I expect myself to because I'm a demented overachiever. ;) And I love the archives. When I mean to be looking for something Serious and Scholarly, it knows when I need a break to read some LM Montgomery or Lewis Carroll and chill.
no subject
Dude. Sorry about your mom, that's some bullshit. I lucked out, my folks are pretty well adjusted overall. We're Jewish too, so my mom is just like... stereotypical Jewish mom, really. Uhm, this might be weird as fuck, but if you're jonesing for Passover Seder you can swing by. If I'm not way off with the calendar, it's this weekend.
Did you have a thing for your best friend? [Said with an odd sort of gentleness.]
I mean, realistically she's not gonna turn up. Could be cathartic for you to put it on, you know?
For seriously. And I understand completely. But like, okay, genuine word of warning? If people go, 'hey, you kinda look like shit are you studying too hard?' Listen to them. Corruption sneaks up on you, and with some of the stuff you might wind up studying? Hooooo boy. I nearly fucked myself hardcore last month.
no subject
It's all right, I'm used to it. And I know Mom is doing the best she can, she's sort of stuck raising both of us on her own and has been since Dad left. And my mom is about as not the typical Jewish mom as humanly possible. And it's not weird, I'd love to come.
[puts the feed on Private]
Kind of? But she was in love with another girl, so I was like. I could pine after her forever or I could move on with my life while still staying her friend. So that's what I was doing. [said relatively calm]
She could. Actually, this could be the best place for her. Especially if her girlfriend came with her.
That's what I'm afraid of. I kind of get obsessive when I'm in the middle of something I'm really into and before you know it, bam! I've been awake for nearly forty-eight hours and living on Starbucks. Starbucks alone would probably make corruption go from zero to one hundred in no time.
no subject
Yeah, but like... and NO disrespect to your mother, but we all choose how we deal with shit, you know? So while I think it's good to have sympathy for her, don't think you're not allowed to be pissed.
Okay, dope! I'll send you like, a little map. Since it's perpetual night it's always after sundown, so you can pretty much show up whenever on Friday. You can meet anybody else who shows up, heh. I think my friend Ezra will.
[PRIVATE]
Wow, okay, I know that feeling and it sucks ass. I'm sorry.
Yeah? How come?
Yeah... [Sigh.] It's dangerous. I literally melted my face off last month because I got obsessive that way. I was walking around with a skull face acting like a total dick.
(CW: drug addiction)
Yeah. Mom is...she's one of those moms who wants to be our friends, not our mom. That works fine for Cassie, but with both of them acting out their teenage drama, someone has to make sure they eat at least twice a day and that the house is clean and the bills get paid on time. So I guess I'm pissed? It would be nice if they'd admit that they've been relying on me a lot.
Sounds great! It'll be nice to meet you and everyone else in person.
[private 5-ever]
It's okay. The girl she's with, she couldn't be more different from me if she tried. So maybe I'm just--not her type? And/or has been wrapped up in a lot of her own trauma for a while.
She's--she's pretty heavy into drugs. Has been for a long time. She went to rehab for several months, but I know she's using again.
Yiiiiiikes. So, note to self, do your best to avoid corruption. Go, fight, win and other stupid cheerleader slogans.
(CW: drug addiction)
Fuck. Yeah. I've seen some pretty screwed up parents in my time and like... addiction is the worst. It just ruins so much in obvious and insidious ways.
[PRIVATE]
Mine was straight. So. I get the feeling.
Oh, jeez. I'm so sorry, that's SO fucking hard to watch. But there's a lot to get fucked up on here, too.
Best thing is to make connections with people. It sounds cheesy but it really works.
(CW: drug addiction)
Yeah...it. Probably doesn't help that my dad was either driving drunk or fell asleep at the wheel and got into a car wreck. I was...thirteen? But anyway, they gave him all kinds of opiates for the pain, so it didn't take long for him to one, get addicted and two, graduate to heroin. He robbed our house of its fine china and silverware to trade for a fix.
[very private]
....oooh. That's the worst. At least with someone bi, I can tell myself I wasn't her type. To not be in the running at all, though, that sucks.
Yeah, I've heard rumors about mushrooms? But I didn't even like pot when my best friend shotgunned it to me. No way in hell am I going to try anything else.
Then I'm glad we made this connection.
PRIVATE forever | (CW: drug addiction)
Yeah. I still feel like... very stupid about it. Like at least if someone is bi you're like, hey maybe I have a chance! Although I guess that's actually worse. Huh. Let's just say both are horrible.
This place is nuts, you can wind up just eating like... a chocolate and suddenly you're stoned as fuck. But that usually only seems to happen at big parties.
Me too. And as a bonus it seems like we're from a fairly close kind of universe.
PRIVATE forever | (CW: drug addiction)
No, no, there's no reason to feel stupid. Much less very stupid. Orientations suck. If everyone was pan, that at least would be a level playing field, but the way things are now? Best thing to do is try to get over it.
Noooooo. I'd heard of drugged chocolates for Valentine's Day, the last thing I want is to go to a party, small or large, and get doped out of my mind at it.
It sure seems that way. Which is always nice. Hello, from a neighboring dimension!
PRIVATE forever | (CW: drug addiction)
Yeah. I'm fine now, it's been years, but it was definitely not how I wish it had gone down. Like if I had it to do over I'd try and pay more attention to other people or something. Which, okay, is hard in a very small town when you're only attracted to people you actually like.
Easy solution: always make somebody else try shit at any sort of city-wide gathering.
I'm sure there's differences, there always seems to be some. But I promise I'm from the boring Earth. [This is a lie, but he doesn't know it.]
PRIVATE forever | (CW: drug addiction)
I'm glad, even though things didn't go the way you wanted them to. Sometimes the only option is to move on with our lives. And you're cute and you're nice, I'm sure there would have been plenty of guys who were into you. But, small towns? I've heard that everyone knows everyone else's business in those.
Like a guinea pig? Works for me.
And so am I. I swear, if I told anyone from home half of any of this, they wouldn't believe me. [which is the truth]
PRIVATE forever | (CW: drug addiction)
You're being super nice, heh. I was a disaster. I still am. But, uhm, yeah, it's a tiny hick town so you know literally everyone. I knew all my friends since preschool.
Exactly! Lots of people are willing to do that shit.
It's weird how fast you adapt. Like just... "Oh, guess I become a squid now!" like it's totally normal. Oh, don't die, by the way. It's weird.
PRIVATE forever | (CW: drug addiction)
[she finally feels confident in saying] I met my best friend in preschool, too. We've had our ups and downs, but I think she's grown up a little lately.
Exactly, either because they're so dense, they don't realize it's been drugged or they actually want to be drugged. Which, hey, more power to them as long as they don't mind their friends taken drugged up drunken pictures of them and posting them to the Omninet.
Squid are beyond bizarre. Couldn't it be something cute, like a chipmunk? I'd be entirely okay becoming a chipmunk.
PRIVATE forever | (CW: drug addiction)
Yeah? Good. Mine... well. He's got his problems. I hope he's doing okay, back home.
I haven't seen that happen yet. People are mostly chill.
Okay, true, but they're also awesome. I've been one twice now, I think, and my memory is like... kinda peaceful until I have to get to land.
PRIVATE forever | (CW: drug addiction)
I hope he is. It's rough, worrying about those back home.
Thank god. I'm glad no one has to really worry about pictures of them surfacing when they're, I don't know, wearing their underwear as a hat.
Sorry for asking, but how did you end up one twice?
PRIVATE forever
Nah. Most people here are not like, frat bros.
...okay, unless you meet this old dude Johnny, he would probably do that.
Oh, I died.
PRIVATE forever
And yay for that. I swear, I don't miss your typical jocks at all.
[and a chuckle] Yeah, you're probably right about him.
[oh, shit. what does one say about that? thiiiiiiiiiiiink]
That sucks.
[that was not the right response, Lexi]
PRIVATE forever
They can be pretty insufferable.
Oh, god, you've meet him? Isn't he a fucking riot?
It does! [He laughs, though.] But like... it happens. My friend Vira-Lorr, she was at some place that was like, the precursor to this one or something? And she says there it was worse, like every time it happened you came back more and more fucked up. Here you just go squid mode and wash up on shore again. So far, anyway. I don't think I know anyone who has died a lot.
PRIVATE forever
Yes. Yes! It's like he was cryogenically frozen mid-eighties and just now woke up. Scary part is, if my mom was here, she'd absolutely try to pick him up. And probably succeed.
[faintly]...okay. Squids. Squids are fine. Let's go with squids.
PRIVATE forever
Oh, god. That's horrifying. He means well, though. Like, I like him even though I'm not sure why.
Sorry. I know it's a lot.
Re: PRIVATE forever
One thousand percent horrifying. But I think he'd be better than most guys mom picks up. Even though I decided to train with Sasuke, he seems to really care about his students.
It's okay. Better I find out now instead of later, right?
PRIVATE forever
It's less shocking. And you'd have read about it in the archives anyway at some point.
PRIVATE forever
I'm like an absolute beginner. But yeah, 'cause isn't karate from Japan? So it's like saying I'll have American sushi.
I'm pretty sure I'll still be shocked the first time it happens. Oooh, which I hope is far, far, far off in the future. Or never happens at all, that would be nice.
PRIVATE forever
Yeah, I hope you avoid it.
PRIVATE forever
PRIVATE forever
Re: PRIVATE forever