voice; un: BUTTMAN

[shiro2hero]

[Oh, it's a Shiro post. Clearly, this is going to be some informative speech. Important information about town, or what's going on here.]



WHO CHANGED MY NAME TO 'BUTT MAN'?


[... or not.]

[That's it. That's the post.]

Comments

[shiro2hero]

I've had it ever since I got here!

And it wasn't this one.

[shiro2hero]

My entire household.

Sleepers staying at the Orphanage.

[shiro2hero]

[Took him long enough!!]

Revenge? For what?

[shiro2hero]

No.

I'm not keeping it. I'm deleting it and walking back into the ocean.

[shiro2hero]

No

I

Did not.

[retsuden]

You leave a personal communication device completely open to access from anyone?

[kyley_b]

Dude. Come on.

[imaglyphwitch]

No, NO, it's really...not...

[Yup, not snickering at all].

[the_obedient_servant]

You've had buttman ever since you got here?

Why did it take you so long to notice?

[Yes, this is gaslighting. For comedic purposes.]

voice; un: trashmouth

[measuringdicks]

Fuck, did you just find out now? You've been buttman for weeks, I was starting to think you'd decided to just keep it!

[unphase]

Okay! [she manages to gasp out between giggle fits] I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's just that we've only spoken once, but you seemed like such a laced up and how could anyone change your username without you knowing it?

[thisislife]

Oh, it's like a regular wedgie, only instead of grabbing the back, you grab the back and the front right where their privates are and pull up hard on both sides. Not fun, but a very effective method of vengeance.

[encyclonepedia]

I'm sure if you make light of it then it will become something to be looked back on with fondness later.

sorry for the casual heteronormativity, she's gay but doesn't know better

[loopsbian]

Is that so? My congratulations to the blushing bride's bottom!

[ she's not going to ever let you live this down shiro. ]

[fattyhands]

who are you exactly
you talk like people can't make it if they don't have access to you

[entreats]

Someone told me that you like playing pranks.

[ The mysteriousness is.. a little bit on purpose. Mostly since she can verify whether that's true or not by trying to see if Shiro can use that to figure out who this is about. ]

I didn't believe it at first, but they seemed pretty convincing.

[laminae]

You're gonna have to steal my omni and change my username yourself if you want me to have it.

omg satoko honey

[shiro2hero]

I'll be sure to tell him.

Once he stops laughing.

[shiro2hero]

Did you change my username, Fern.

[shiro2hero]

Much... much later.

Maybe ten years later. If I'm not a squid by then.

[shiro2hero]

Am I? I'm
Sorry that's not how I meant it to come out. I meant I'm worried this will screw up a search function in an emergency.

I'm Shiro - I've been here, and the dream before, a while now.

[shiro2hero]

I will not.

[shiro2hero]

You're kidding.

People do that?

[kyley_b]

Dude. Literally everyone calls you the dad friend. It's not a BAD thing.

[shiro2hero]

We've met?

[Maybe it was last month? It was a weird, hectic time, after all.]

I don't guard my Omni when I'm asleep. Or... in the shower. So then?