sad space dad had a bad (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
shiro2hero) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
deernet2022-04-11 04:13 pm
shiro2hero) wrote in deernet2022-04-11 04:13 pm
voice; un: BUTTMAN
[Oh, it's a Shiro post. Clearly, this is going to be some informative speech. Important information about town, or what's going on here.]
WHO CHANGED MY NAME TO 'BUTT MAN'?
[... or not.]
[That's it. That's the post.]
WHO CHANGED MY NAME TO 'BUTT MAN'?
[... or not.]
[That's it. That's the post.]
voice; un: ushiromiya
Someone finally noticed. ]
I've heard this was revenge.
[ Sorry, Shiro, she's sounding entirely calm about this.. ]
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Revenge? For what?
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[ The mysteriousness is.. a little bit on purpose. Mostly since she can verify whether that's true or not by trying to see if Shiro can use that to figure out who this is about. ]
I didn't believe it at first, but they seemed pretty convincing.
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[What. No, seriously. What. That sounds fake entirely!!]
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She's a little surprised by this answer, especially since Shiro seems so genuine about it. It's why Ange pauses for a second before continuing. ]
Are you sure you can't think of anyone you've played pranks on?
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[... when you were a stupid teenager, Shiro.]
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But she figures that it might be the only nudge that might work at this point. ]
I mean.. you were pretty different when you were younger.
[ An assessment even Ange can make, considering she actually talked with teenage Shiro, thanks to this place. She doesn't even just have to go by Adam's opinion! ]
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[That horrible, stupid post that wrecked his bike for a week with salt water.]
I don't think I changed it back then, though. [SHIRO...]
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[ You hear that pause, Shiro? That silence?
That's definitely a bit of judgement on Ange's end that he can't quite reach the obvious conclusion. ]
I spoke to someone recently. [ This is getting very subtle. Clearly. ] You know.
Your special someone.
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Go on.
[You have his attention, Ange. ... Because Shiro has a blind spot when it comes to his loved ones, apparently.]
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[ Talk about a huge blind spot when it comes to the people he's fond of, sheesh.
.. Ange wonders if it means something that Ruby is actually the first person she'd suspect if the same thing happened to her, rather than the last.. ]
Does that sound familiar?
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Adam...
[SCREAMING INTERNALLY]
I - didn't think they were pranks!
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It seems like you two might have a slight disagreement when it comes to that front.
[ Apparently. It doesn't seem like a big deal to Ange - other than the embarrassment Shiro is experiencing at his handle change - hence why she can just be so deadpan about it. ]
He told me that this prank was totally justified because of that.
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[Oh my god. Someone please kill him. He would like to walk back into the ocean.]
How many people knew?
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[ Sorry, Shiro.
But even though Ange hates to be the bearer of bad news here, it's not like she's going to lie to him. It's much better for him to just be fully informed about the truth here, right? ]
He told everyone on here. I imagine he probably just filtered the message away from you so you wouldn't see it.
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[Excuse him while he lowers his face into his hands. W o w...]
[Time to have Words with his husband.]
He told everyone. And ... told them not to tell me?
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Basically. [ Ange isn't exactly sure what the post said, but she's pretty sure he did ask that.. ] I'm pretty sure he said that he was curious how long it'd take before you would notice it.
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And I'm going to walk back into the ocean.
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[ It's not like Ange doesn't get it. She also hates public embarrassment.
But it's not like she wants him to feel bad, so-- ]
You'll survive this. You know that everyone here already likes you. What do you have to lose?
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The last shreds of respect as a capable human being?
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[ You have absolutely no idea how much effort it takes to not end that line with 'buttman.'
Ange is trying so hard to be good here. ]
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Really?
[SKEPTICAL.]
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[ Well, Shiro?
Has she? ]
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If your husband changing your username to buttman of all things would be the one thing to make me lose faith in you, I would have to start questioning the standards I live by.
[ .. a faint pause, and then she does add: ]
I mean, I got pretty close when that younger you seemed convinced that those stunts under incredibly dangerous conditions were a perfectly fine idea. [ Sorry, Shiro. She couldn't resist slipping that one in.
At least it might distract him from buttman for a moment. ]
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