video; un: an.exorcist

[likethelight]

[ Deep breath, come on, you've got this. ]

...just because someone becomes a beast, it doesn't mean they stop being human.

[ The video comes on and it's an older, slender teenager with stark white hair; pale grey eyes and a strangely delicate bright red mark slashed across the left side of his face. He seems to be in a courtyard of sorts, one of Amaterasu's guardian saplings is behind him in full bloom. He's only visible from the chest up, but the chair he's sitting in has handles behind it-- looks like a wheelchair. Whatever is taking the video also appears to be a flying sort of thing that bobs slightly. It's trying to hold this video still, but really... ]

Most of you probably already know this. [ His head cants to the side with a lightly apologetic smile. ] Some of you might even be able to still hear or reach them despite that form.

But not everyone does, and it's still too easy to say "oh, it's safer and quicker to just kill them. You don't save monsters." [ The official creed of the Hunters... but he's diplomatic enough to not say that aloud. ] Or "oh, a Sleeper can just come back." Except it isn't just us. Someone else who isn't... most of them who were human... they aren't like us. [ He smiles softly, but in a way that doesn't reach his eyes. They hood, bittersweet. ]

They're just dead then. The soul suffers until the end. Maybe beyond.

It doesn't have to be like that though. [ He seems a soft-spoken sort with a lilted voice, but his tone shifts then and becomes more certain. ] They aren't just a monster, and they don't have to stay one. Even with what they've become -- the soul is still human. Some part of them still wants to be saved; to be themselves once again. And they can. [ Mostly. At least so far in his experience. ]

Some of us have abilities that can let us purify or reverse what corrupted them and bring them back. Some of us-- [ he pauses, looking for a moment just a touch overwhelmed as his eyes drift to the side, the smallest curl of a touched sort of smile at the corner of his mouth ] ... a number of us, we're trying to do something to change things. At one of the old monasteries in Crenshaw.

[ But he closes his eyes. Deep breath, you can do this.

He lifts his eyes back up to the "camera", his expression schooled now with a quiet sort of determination. Chin up, eyes forward. ]

My name is Allen Walker. I'm an Exorcist. [ Clearer, more certain: steady. Rung like a quiet bell. ]

Who's been able to save someone who became a beast?

[ More importantly: ] Who wants to?

[ It's more determined and clearer still. ]

[ ooc: for those who want to poke around in person, there is also an open mingle log for Sanctuary!
CW: mentions of prior character death throughout ]

Comments

[likethelight]

[ Like a moth to a flame? The irony is crushing. ]

Well I guess we'll never know for sure then, will we?

[ Slight difference there though, Dabi. Touya. You can sling "hero" around to goad him, but lumping them as the same doesn't line up that neatly. The societies and worlds that produced them are entirely different. The beliefs each grows up with are different. It's not that Allen doesn't believe in them; it took time, but he told Shouto he thought it suited him. But himself? No. Many things, but not that. He is just simply wired to be this way and literally doesn't understand any other way how to live. Can't live any other way. Call it a curse, it's actually technically true. ]

? Ew.

They're just not working.

[burnitblack]

[did ya want him to do something "happier", like a star burning brightly in the sky to outshine everyone else? ignoring the fact stars burn by consuming themselves and ultimately die after there's nothing left to burn up.]

better hope you don't have to find out. might kill ya again.

[he's aware, somewhat, that allen's world doesn't have "heroes" and "villains" like his world does, but the thing is, that's what dabi's got to compare anything he comes up with. the same society and its ideals that other worlds' clash against whenever they jive together. and in his experience, people who act and talk like allen, holding so firmly onto those ideals, are heroes. and heroes suck. even if allen himself doesn't believe that he's a hero and refuses the title, it's not up to him what dabi labels him as. priest. hero. annoyance. that's the villain's prerogative. deal with it.]

hn. i'll keep that in mind.

comment not here

[dohaeris]

[sansa has been watching this post to try and see if this person was cruel or merely hardened by anger and misfortune.

she'll be watching a lot more closely now.]

cause i can't not

[burnitblack]

[ both! b begot a ]

[dohaeris]

[cool motive! still murder.

sansa at least knows some people can't be saved.]

[likethelight]

[ You're BOTH going to be the death of him! Sansa pls!

This is why he should have made it private!! ]

[burnitblack]

[look away. people do it all the time.

technically he's already been the death of him, so *check*]

[likethelight]

[ Technically your brother was the quicker death of him than you were, so... Sorry, Shouto beat you to it first. So sad for you, Dabi. Little brother got the one-up again. Sucks to be you. ]

[burnitblack]

[well then that means his slate's all clear and obviously there's nothing to be held against him, as far as allen's death is concerned. *dusts hands* shouto can take the blame. thanks for the bail out, little bro! sucks to be him indeed.]

[likethelight]

[ You have a knack for always spinning the scenario in your mind in just such a way where you're the one who comes out on top and it's All About You, don't you.

With that sort of inconsistency you should run for office. ]

[burnitblack]

[he wouldn't have survived any other way. had enough of his life twisted into All About Him already, so consider it justifiable returns.

nah, politics are even worse than heroics in many ways.]

[dohaeris]

[sansa wouldn't dream of doing anything that would put allen in danger c:]

[likethelight]

[ Her!! He's more worried about her being in danger!!

Please, his poor heart. It already had a hole put in it once. ]

[dohaeris]

[sansa is very careful

c: c: c:]

[likethelight]

[ "might kill ya again", shit. That doesn't leave an uneasy pit of dread in his stomach because of the implication, but that that's out there linking Dabi to him in that way. Didn't really want that, he'd gone out of his way so far to make sure people didn't figure out who he had been trying to save when he died...

Should've made it private. ]

Might save you again, too. [ Fuck it, might as well own it now. ]

[burnitblack]

don't be so selfish, priest. wasn't sayin i'd be the one to kill ya.

that'd be whoever it is ya tryin to save.

[he's free to take it as dabi threatening him personally, but considering the man doesn't want to experience beasthood again, that consuming loss of himself to something that isn't him, he doesn't plan on being the cause of allen's death again.

at least that way. and only if allen gives him a reason to off him.

as for keeping things private, just like in his previous world, it'd be hard to pin the blame on someone else when all that blue flame was surrounding his death. and considering beasthood here and other sleepers knowing all about it, can dabi himself really be accountable for allen's demise? or would that be the beast? sounds like people risk their lives plenty going against these monsters already. risk of the business.]

[likethelight]

[ Ugh, he misunderstood and jumped the gun. Use proper grammar, you burnt jackass! He's an uneducated Victorian street urchin and he speaks more properly!! ... well. Except no. Before the Traumatic Mental Break he spoke like the tiny angry red-headed Scottish equivalent of Dabi... but he got better. ]

There's nothing new there then. I'm used to it.

And I'm not a priest.

[ He isn't accountable for Allen's death, the irony being that even Shouto had more of a direct hand in that than him and was even likely the tipping point between his injuries being dire but healable to his life quickly bleeding away, and Allen himself refuses to see anyone to blame in it. It was the consequences of actions he took and that is what sometimes happens; his decisions originally and ultimately, his consequences. And the consequence he thought might happen from impaling himself on his own sword didn't even happen, but it was one he had had to accept as being possible but necessary. However... he knows if some people found that out, given Dabi's abrasive sort of attitude, it might cause friction.

Like Sansa. Sansa had already said almost exactly as much, and the idea of how she might try to badger Dabi for it makes him fret. ]

[burnitblack]

[follow the conversation and context clues, you glittery idiot. of course if dabi ever does turn into a rampant beast again and allen tries to save him, he'll probably attack him with the same "rawr" as he did before. but hopefully that doesn't happen because the experience fucking sucked.]

that's all i wanted to know, if ya were ready to face the consequences.

sure ya aren't.

[even if shouto was the one to put the proverbial bullet through the man's head, the sordid truth was his little brother only sped up in inevitable death. the burn damage and effort allen was putting out to both battle the monster and try to retain a grip on dabi's psyche left him scorched and weak. would've taken a miracle for the younger man to survive his injuries even if shouto hadn't ran him through with all that ice. at least that's what dabi figured given the state of allen's body once he came back to his senses. who allen wants to blame, if anyone, is up to him. as he said, actions have consequences.

there's no apology on dabi's part. not like he hasn't dealt with friction between himself and others before. if this was how trench operated, then there would be plenty more death coming in the future.]

i'll keep an eye on ya sanctuary. good to know there's the option.

[likethelight]

[ It's fine if there's no apology, he wouldn't expect or even want one. He didn't think Shouto needed to apologize to him either for the events that led to his dying even if he did, though his apology at not trusting Allen... that was different. The thing that didn't at least stem from Allen's own choices, and that had truly hurt deeply. That apology was different, because it meant they could mend that trust and start to heal.

He considers those words for a moment before responding though. Silently, and debating. Consequences... ]

You're always welcome here if there's anything you need, you know. Especially with corruption.

[ Within reason. He knows a ripoff coming when he sees one. ]

[burnitblack]

[that trust issue is between allen and shouto. the only thing dabi "owed" to the priest had already been paid when he carried his brother home that day. first time he ever did anything 'big brotherly' towards his little brother in a positive sense. considering their first embrace happened when dabi tried to burn him to death in front of their father. but allen had charged him with taking care of shouto afterwards, and reluctance aside, the man admittedly did pull him from the corruption.

so the debt's paid.]

i'll think about it. ya gonna be open at night?

[likethelight]

[ If Allen had any idea that was how it went down? That Dabi had considered that a debt he paid to Allen, to help take look after Shouto when he needed it so badly even a little? To be the catalyst for even a small amount of brotherly care? Or even that Dabi had done any of that, as he's still in the dark about it?

He'd consider that "debt" paid and then some. ]

It seems like night is when people might need the most help.

Yes. It's never closed.

[ Another reason for needing wardens to keep guard; night is when beasts prowl the most. When there might be those who pose needing aid but mean to steal resources. Another reason it's useful that he lives there. ]

[burnitblack]

[yeah. "IF" ... maybe shouto might tell him some day, but dabi certainly won't. it's true his relationship with his brother in trench is somewhat slightly improved from what would be the normal back home, though one could attribute that to circumstances here. for now, it's comfortable to keep his distance most of the time.]

if i need it, i'll come by when there's less traffic.

[he's not one to mingle with large groups of people who might want to interfere with his business. dabi won't put it past himself to nick something while there, but considering he'll likely be staying outside rather than going in, and there are far better places to get something, it's a low chance of theft happening on his part.]

[likethelight]

I would have figured about as much.

[ No, not surprising. Though... maybe a little, in a good way. A relieving way.

Too bad text can't capture the wry but content little smile he has at that -- or perhaps it's better that it doesn't. ]

Good luck.

*private*

[burnitblack]

i ain't the one who's gonna need that.

[the moron who wants to "save" monsters certainly will. that said, there's one final piece of business to cover.]

if the little shit ever turns into a beast or shows up dangerously corrupted, contact me.

*private*

[likethelight]

[ —!

Privacy changes a lot. Mostly in how more freely he can speak, but it's also very telling that it's Dabi who was the one to initiate it. And it isn't hard to figure out who he's talking about. ]

If I do, is it because you want to save him?

Or end him?