deernet | voice; un: lowell

[the lion's ear flicks a little, but otherwise doesn't seem to react to the passing remark, instead just resting its head back down on its big ol' paws.

Blue smiles faintly, a hazy mirror of the expression he held as that ghost of himself. it really should be reversed - that the physical shape of him is the ghost, and that mental form his true self; he's vastly stronger in mind than in body, and his self-image has always bolstered that. here now sits a man who simultaneously looks both young and unnervingly old: it's the weariness in the eyes, and the drawn kind of countenance he naturally wears - an acceptance of frailty the way many of the chronically infirmed share.

all this doesn't stop him from sitting up a bit more, his eyes flicking to the chair beside him as invitation before they return to fix on Yuri himself, his arm moving from its place at rest in his lap to guide his hand out for the taking, leaving it there whether it's taken or not.]

Is that...what it's called? "Lion"...

I never saw one before.

[ Yuri goes to drop down in the chair with a groan. Somehow, he doesn't feel like he needs to kill anyone anymore. The numbness is overtaking him. He can't do anything. His choices were to kill the guy who killed Flynn, or to do nothing. So nothing it is. Nothing it is, he just needs to live with the fact that Flynn is dead.

Dead. Gone.

Right, Blue said something. ]

Uh, yeah. Really? Lions are pretty cool. Mine's a bird. Smokey, he's back at home...

[ With Flynn's body. He eyes skip down to Repede, who's watching him with that calm way of his. He's upset too. Sad, angry, Yuri can see it behind his eyes. Repede would stand by him no matter what choice he made. At least that's reassuring.

Maybe he should just get into it. He should talk about Flynn, their relationship, let himself think about it, but what comes out of his mouth instead is: ]

I've done it before. Killed. I thought it was the right thing to do. Flynn didn't. He was so pissed at me. Pissed at himself too. He's a good guy. A really good guy...

[ Well, he's talking about Flynn anyway, staring blankly across the quiet lobby. No one's paying attention to them. ]

But he wouldn't want me to. You, Willow, Ruby. You're all right. He would be so mad if I killed for him. He wouldn't want that. He would want me to do it the "right way" whatever the hell that means. Even if the right way doesn't get rid of the problem. A crime is a crime.

[ Words Flynn said to him, that stick in his ribs. No crime is okay, no matter the reason, in Flynn's mind. He stayed on the straight and narrow, even when that narrow stifled him. ]

[Blue watches Yuri as he talks, watching those surface-level notions of his state-of-mind shifting along with his words. dread notions tied and touted along in a tone that's weary with the weight of his loss and the prospect of having to carry on in this state. echoes of Flynn's own voice in the reasoning Yuri works out aloud...

when there's a natural lapse in his speaking:] ...Do you believe his words?

[ It hasn't really mattered, before. Yuri isn't the type to spend too long thinking about philosophy or things bigger than the here and now, but this... He runs a hand over his face. ]

No. Not unless the laws are fair. But that's his whole thing. He's trying to make them fair, it just means he has to follow them even when they aren't.

[ Still in the present tense. He's not gone, not until Yuri has to accept that he isn't ]

There aren't laws here, but there's Flynn's beliefs. I guess, I guess that's what's important here.

[it is what's important here - that much Blue is certain of. but it doesn't matter if he's certain, but rather Yuri.]

Despite that...will you honor that belief? In regard to revenge.

...yeah.

[ What's the point, anyway? Killing the guy accomplishes nothing, unless he's looking to kill more people. That would be a reason to get rid of him, but for now... for now, he can't do it.

He sinks lower in the chair. ]

[it's bittersweet, but more bitter than anything: Blue's proud that Yuri's slowed down to come to that conclusion, but he knows it comes at the cost of having to endure more hurt in having nothing to fill that space where action and violence was going.

again, it doesn't matter if Blue is proud. rather:] I imagine...Flynn would appreciate that.

Yeah. Man.

[ Yuri groans, letting his head fall back. He's deflating, the aggression almost completely gone, leaving him empty, empty and sad and lost and he still wants to do something, but there's nothing to do. He can only sit here with Blue and pretend like his best friend isn't lying dead on the floor of the house that had only just become theirs.

And sitting here isn't going to do anything. He doesn't think he can say anything he hasn't already, so he pushes himself up out of the chair, stalking across the room, then back to Blue. Something to do, something to do. ]

Let's get your stuff.

[Blue's hand retracts back to himself when Yuri gets up and begins to pace, himself sitting up a bit. the lion, too, lifts its head to watch with patient eyes.

Blue tilts his head a little when Yuri suddenly pivots back and gives that prompt.

his...stuff?]

...I have nothing to gather. Do you wish to leave now?

No stuff? Okay.

[ It's not like he has much either, never really has. Stuff is pointless. The only things he cares about are Repede and his sword. And Flynn. Fuck.

Repede gets up to his feet, too, walking over to Yuri's side. Yuri reaches down to sink his hand into Repede's fur, which is a mild comfort. ]

Yeah, we can use those lamps.

[slowly, Blue shifts to grip the arms of the chair and push himself to his feet. the lion rises to meet him, to give him something to lean against so he can keep balance. he straightens once he picks up the bag resting at his feet and slips the strap on his shoulder.

he lifts his head to look at Yuri, nodding.]

If it's not terribly far, I can make it.

It's on the other side of town. C'mon.

[ He jerks his head toward the door and sets off, walking at a sedate pace because it's pretty clear that Blue can't move that quickly. But he doesn't comment on it, it really isn't his business.

He pauses at the lamp outside the hospital, waiting for Blue and Repede to catch up. ]

Hold onto me, I'll get us there.

[ He's not sure how else to tell Blue exactly where to go ]

[homer simpson caption: it isn't his business...YET

anyway, Blue catches up, his eyes downcast on the ground ahead of him before Yuri's feet are in view. he looks up, giving a soft sound of regard before reaching over for his arm.

had he not already touched on the volatile state of Yuri's emotions, doing so now would've been a struggle to adjust to point-blank. as it stands...he can still stand and hang on, finding breath and a space to linger in this grim and grieving state...and some bit of strength to draw from it.

he closes his eyes to evade any distortion from Yuri triggering the lantern, still unused to this kind of travel. it's at least easier with company.]

[ Yuri isn't even thinking about that, about how touching him would hurt Blue. He forgot, didn't fully know, and just asks the lantern to transport them to the house in Crenshaw.

It appears before them, quaint and brick and just big enough for the menagerie of animals who live there. The lamp is in the small font yard, walled in by a low stone fence.

Yuri leads Blue to the door, not letting go of him now that he has the excuse to hold on, but he can't open the door. It's in front of him, shut, the house still alight with the lamps he left on-- he doesn't know how long ago. When Daisy came to get him, when she was frantic and scared and hurting.

Flynn's body is inside. He's in here, dead, pale, rotting, and Yuri isn't ready, he isn't ready to do it, his feet planted firmly outside the door. ]

[a few seconds after their arrival, Blue opens his eyes to take in the structure in front of them. the lot of them are still quite new to this world, and Blue himself finds settlement and being 'at home' something hard to grasp, but Yuri still carries notion that moments and memories have taken place here, the way homes ought to.

but more than that, he feels the mounting dread, the awareness that there is something terrible within.

Flynn...

Blue closes his eyes for a moment, pressing back his own sense of dread and the recollections of loss in his own, long life. he is here now for Yuri.

while he hugs Yuri's arm a little tighter for a moment, the lion paces around to nose at Yuri's free hand (sorry Repede).]

Please wait here. I want to go in alone.

[ Yuri looks down at the lion and nods. He doesn't say anything, but he his arms are limp. Blue can let go if he wants to. The door isn't locked.

When he goes inside, he'll find a staircase directly ahead of him, a kitchen on the left, and a living room on the right. Flynn's body is prone in the living room, and a small kestrel is standing guard over it. He'll puff himself up, threatening Blue away until Blue or his lion reassure him.

Yuri, for his part, doesn't move. He stands where he is, his head bowed, hair falling in from of his face. Repede stays with him, resolute. ]

[the lion walks Blue to the door, but once the Mu has passed through, it turns back, pacing around and standing at Yuri's side, a more imposing and present physical form than Blue ever could be.

Blue makes his slow way inside, following more the notions of the paths Yuri's walked than his own intuition to step into the living room where the somber scene is set. his expression, purposeful and grim, begins to shift into something more openly mournful.

to the angry bird(tm - sorry, not sorry), bringing one hand over his heart and the other out to appease.]

Will you let me near? To tend to him in Yuri's stead.

[ The bird watches him, and he gets the sense from Yuri that he can trust Blue. So, with his dark eyes fixed on Blue, he flaps up to the mantel, leaving the space clear for Blue to work. But he's watching, he's going to be watching.

Flynn's body is covered in pale blue crystals, intermingled with the rot that looks like he's been dead for a lot longer than a few hours. ]

What...?

[when...did this happen? and how? the effect has echoes of a death in the vacuum of space, but this isn't right at all. of all the death he's seen and felt before, this is...dreadfully wrong. the wrongness of it strikes heavy in Blue's heart as he lowers himself to kneel before the body. there's not a whole lot a Mu can do at this point - without a mind to discern, what can be learned?

but if his eyes are not already closed, Blue will close them, and he will unwind the scarf from his neck and fold it over Flynn's face.

...this body shouldn't stay here. Yuri needs help to sever this sight from his beloved companion. it can't come from Blue and he knows it. he knows it and it rankles...but he can't change facts.

Blue isn't too terribly long, ever-aware of Yuri still lingering in a state outside. the lion moves to the step as he reappears to provide something to hold onto while exiting, guiding him back up to Yuri.

if there's no resistance, he'll take his hand in both of his, much as he did as a specter, head bowed and eyes closing. there are things that can be conveyed that can't be done so in words, and that's what a Mu does best. commiseration, consolation, a faint light into the bottomless dark of grief that oscillates from anxious fury to the chilly numbness of a lack of purpose.]

[ Standing out there, Yuri barely thinks. He just stares at the ground, at the faint light from in the house, his face blank, his heart in his ears.

He's gone, he's gone, he's gone repeats in his head, pounding like a drum in time with his heart beat.

He doesn't notice that Blue is back until he takes Yuri's hand and those feelings wash over him, calming him down, pressing into his heart, his stomach, his soul. Those feelings, Blue's hand in his, helps him step over the threshold. He doesn't want to look at Flynn, not again. He doesn't want to have to face this. But pretending like it didn't happen won't do anything. His eyes go to Flynn's body, then skip away. ]

Let me. Show you your room.

[the longer Blue stays in direct contact with him, the more his blood quietly compels him to draw on that deep font of misery. it makes his own steps more sturdy and exhaustion lessen, but to Blue, it's the sense of duty to support that must truly be motivating him to rise above his frailty.

he wordlessly follows Yuri's lead, even as that flickering glance sends something of a heavy prod in his heart - one more thing to motivate him to keep moving.

only after clearing full sight of the living room:] What is it...your people do to...honor and part with the dead?

[ They start up the stairs, and Yuri goes as slowly as Blue needs. Huh. Maybe having him sleep upstairs isn't a great idea. But, well, that's where the rooms are. ]

Usually... a funeral. Say some nice things about them, spend some time together remembering them, then we burn the bodies. I'm not from the richest place, so we didn't have fancy coffins and burials like the nobles do.

It... I dunno if it's worth doing, if he might, might come back.

[ Will he? It's a tenuous thing, wishing he would. ]

If...what?

[Blue's next step halts for half-a beat as he looks at Yuri in confusion.]

What do you mean?

[ Yeah, that did sound weird, didn't it. ]

Just... something that some people were saying. That death wasn't permanent in the dream. That it might be the same way here. But it, I don't know. He's the first one to die.

[ Yuri grimaces, taking another step. On the landing, there's a short hallway with three doors: two bedrooms and a bathroom. Yuri pauses there, and realizes he didn't think this through.

He can't give Blue Flynn's room. Not if Flynn is dead downstairs, and definitely not if Flynn might come back, might be alive again.

So, it's his room. He turns them to the left and pushes open the door. ]

Here. You can have this one.

[Blue keeps a hold on Yuri's arm, his expression more taut with concern.]

In the dream... [he shakes his head a little.] Yuri, I don't understand.

voice; un: lowell

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