[Accidental Video] UN:Lothrat

[ezra_of_lothal]

[CW: None for first memory]

[A small freighter ship sets down in the middle of grassland and extends its gangplank. Ezra, 14 years old and in worn spacer clothing, comes out to sit on it, arms crossed over his knees and looking dejected. When the footsteps behind him ring out, Ezra glances over his shoulder and says, voice, low, "Look, don't bother saying it. I'm letting you off the hook."

The man - mid twenties, also in spacer wear with bits of armor - looks baffled. "What're you talking about?"

Ezra waves a hand, his tone and posture screaming defensiveness. "I know you wanted to dump me on Luminara. Just because she's gone, doesn't mean you're stuck with me."

The man looks, startled, then enlightened, then thoughtful. "I don't want to dump you," he protests, then sighs heavily, facepalming, before coming to sit beside Ezra."Look, I just wanted you to have the best teacher."

"Well, I don't want the best teacher," Ezra bursts out. "I want you!"

The man looks stunned.

Ezra cringes. "Not that you're not the best! I-"

"Ezra. From now on, I'm not going to try to teach you."

Ezra's face falls, and he shifts away again.

"If all I do is try, that means I don't truly believe I can succeed. So from now on, I will teach you. I may fail. You may fail. But there is no try."

"...I understand," Ezra says slowly, then tension goes out of him as adds, firmly, "Master."

His master gets out his lightsaber to hand over. "Let's see if you do."

They get up, for practice - Ezra's master picking up bits of rock to toss, for Ezra to deflect. They look...happy.




[CW: Mentions of war, war trauma, fire, parental figure death, grief]



This time, Ezra looks closer to his current age, and in a suit of white armor, that stands out against pure black and geometric shapes in white.

He talks to a female figure, who is humanoid, but clearly not human. Ahsoka Tano, all grown up.

"I thought I was sent here to stop the Empire. But then I found you," Ezra explains. "Don't you see?"

"You think that Kanan sent you here to help me," Ahsoka replies.

"Not just you!" Ezra says, excitedly. Then he looks around as Kanan's - Ezra's master's - voice rings out, through the black, massive space they are in."I can do it," Ezra insists, increasingly frantic. "I can save Kanan. Just like I saved you!"

Ezra chases after his master's voice, while Ahsoka pleads with him to wait, and Ezra continues to protest that he can change things. He changed her fate. He can stop his master from dying.

Eventually they come to a portal, and fire blooms into view. Kanan dashes up to the flames, and holds his hands out, using the Force to push back a massive explosion.

"I can reach him," Ezra says, grim and determined.

"Ezra," Ahsoka says, oh so gently. "Kanan gave his life, so you could live. If he's taken out of this moment, you all die. "

"You don't understand what you're asking me to do," Ezra snarls.

"Yes, I do," she replies, not angry, but just as intense. "You can't save your master." Her expression drops to grief. "And I can't save mine. I'm asking you to let go."

Ezra stretches out a hand, looking devastated, as the fire surges, and Kanan whirls to Force toss (Ezra knows) Hera and then the shuttle where Ezra and Sabine are, away from the blast. Fire overtakes the entire view and Hera screams out Kanan's name. The scene fades. Ezra drops his head, closes his eyes, and turns away.

"I'm sorry, Ezra," Ahsoka says. "But you must see. Kanan found the moment when he was needed most. And he did what he had to do. For everyone."

"That's the lesson," Ezra murmurs. Ahsoka comes over to drop a hand on his shoulder.

"I didn't see it." Ezra chokes back a sob. "Sometimes I wish my life were different. I wish I could see my mom and dad. Why can't things be like they were?"]




[The Omni's screen jumps to Ezra, here in Trench. Ezra sucks in a shuddering breath, on the edge of tears.]

The name he chose was Kanan Jarrus. He was a Jedi Knight. He gave me a family again. We had four years together. It- [It wasn't enough, he wants to say. But that's not quite right. Kanan had given him everything.]

I wish we'd had more time. [He cuts the feed.]

Comments

video | un:gaia

[hammerbearer]

[Gaia knows Ezra from an earlier chat on the network. But more importantly, she recognizes something from the memories that just flashed across the network.]

Ezra? Ezra. I've seen that man! He called himself Kanan even. He was here once!

[Though she does seem to realize quickly that probably doesn't help now.]

Sorry. That probably doesn't help right now. But I did meet him, I'm sure of it.

[video]

[ezra_of_lothal]

[He answers immediately, eyes wide.]

I- I didn't- [Surely he would have felt him? But maybe not. His own connection to the Force has been very screwy, for days. He takes a breath to steady himself. To reach out a little in the Force, just to check.

Nothing.]

Do you...remember if he was blind or not? If had the beard, or was clean shaved? [He's only seen Kanan completely clean-shaven once. The day he died.]

[hammerbearer]

[ Gaia looks relieved she caught Ezra before he left entirely, so to speak. ]

I do remember he couldn't see. Or at least that's what he claimed. [ At the recollection there's a mildly peturbed expression. ] He certainly was able to move around like he wasn't.

[ Frankly Gaia was just a bit embarassed she hadn't noticed. ]

But a beard... [ Her brow furrows with thought. ] No, I don't think he was? But honestly it's been a few months. And my memory's not always great.

[ezra_of_lothal]

He learned to extend his other senses, with the Force, to compensate. [His pride in his teacher shines through, as he explains.] It wasn't perfect - less of the fine details, definitely couldn't do anything with printed text.

[Then he bites his lip.] Oh, well, he, um, may have been, from his perspective, in the middle of a mission to save Hera. His partner. Letting that go would be...hard.

[That's the explanation he's going to give himself, for why Kanan would go back to the ocean, anyway.]

video; un: aeaea

[terraphile]

[ Sersi's frowning thoughtfully at the video, breathing in a shuddering breath before she speaks. ]

I'm sorry for your loss, Ezra. How are you... [ She struggles, a moment, to find the words before continuing: ] how are you doing?

video

[ezra_of_lothal]

Um. Like I got punched in the gut, at the moment, honestly.

[He takes a deep breath. Lets it out.]

It'll pass. But thank you checking.

[terraphile]

[ Sersi watches him for a moment. It's hard to know exactly what to say to something like this- unauthorized viewing of another's memory is not exactly something she'd ever experienced before. ]

It can't be easy to relive, or to have shared without your permission... Is there anything I can do?

private • video; un: a.solo

[hopesparks]

[ Anakin can practically feel the pain through his Omni.

(He remembers the fear, the shattered bond, the feeling of blaster-bolts like phantom pains.)

Having to choose to leave Ikrit behind was one of the worst things he's ever felt. He can only imagine how Ezra must have felt. ]

I'd like to hear more about him. When you're up for it.

[ezra_of_lothal]

[Ezra smiles weakly.]

Thanks, Anakin. Think I'm gonna wallow, accept cat cuddles from Sahar, and then garden a little bit right now.

But I will definitely take you up on that soon. We can swap training stories, yeah?

[hopesparks]

[ Anakin tries to mimic his smile, with a little success. ]

Yeah.

[ Anakin's Omen pops her head into the frame and gently nudges the Omni, as if trying to nudge Ezra himself. ]

I guess Silva says hi.

private video; un: amidala

[democratically]

[Ahsoka... How she's grown. It's bittersweet to see her. She'd tried her hardest for her, and her name had been cleared, yet the damage had been done.

It's that gentle understanding expression though. She doesn't need to be a Jedi to feel his emotions. To know of his loss.]

Oh Ezra... I'm so sorry.

private video

[ezra_of_lothal]

Thank you, Padmé. [From her, he really does appreciate it.]

How about Ahsoka, huh? Like, a minute after this, she was throwing herself in between me and Sith Lord. Again.

She's ok, though. The, uh, portals around town last month? We found each other. Didn't get long to talk, but it was good.

private video

[democratically]

It is nice to see her, all grown up.

[That softness to her voice. Anakin's padawan... Spunky and lively, as reckless and impulsive as her husband could be, yet no less wise than Jedi. She'd grown. Likely height-wise as well, taller than Padmé is now.]

She always was a very determined individual. I'm sorry I didn't get to meet her.

[Video] un: QueenCobra

[abornfighter]

He seems like he was an amazing person. I bet he was really proud of how you turned out.

[ezra_of_lothal]

He really, really was.

And...I hope you're right.

[abornfighter]

You're kind, brave, hard working, and you genuinely try to do what you think is right, even when it's hard. Of course I'm right.

Video: UN - Runeseeker

[onerthes]

I am sorry for your loss, however long ago it might have been. It is ... never easy, nor is it fair to have it thrust in front of so many who are little more than strangers.

[ezra_of_lothal]

Thank you.

Everyone is being very kind about it. So...it's not so bad.

[onerthes]

Mmmm. If there is one thing for this place, it is that you will not have a shortage of listening ears or people who at least try to understand. How long ago is this for you?

audio: un; an.observer

[thisislife]

[she's not sure why she chose audio over video and text. maybe because video was too intimate? and text wasn't intimate enough? either way, audio it is]

...um. Hey. I'm sorry.

It's not fair that you didn't have more time with him. [but her voice goes a touch rueful] But who said life was fair, right?

[ezra_of_lothal]

Only as fair as we make, usually. And sometimes you just...can't.

Thank you, though.

[thisislife]

Yeah. I mean. It's not the same situation, none of them are. But I think most of us can relate to the whole not having enough time part. In some degree or another.

Sure, you don't need to thank me.

Video; un: darkness

[survivalthroughhate]

[Maul recognizes the man in the memories with Ezra. He's not sure how. Something....something to do with the future....fighting him when he's an old man.....then it comes to him in a flash, swiping at the Jedi trying to decapitate him and only blinding him instead.

Maul is surprisingly sympathetic to Ezra's pain.]

That is about the length of time I had with my brother. A few years when we were young kits and one after he found me. A hundred years could have passed and it would still not have been enough time for me.

[ezra_of_lothal]

With...Savage?

Or. Do you have another brother?

[survivalthroughhate]

Yes, with Savage. I'm the eldest and there was a scant few years we had together before my master came and took me away.

[Oh how Maul had cried for days afterwards, never thinking he would ever see his beloved little brother again.]

I have two. Savage and Feral. But I never got to meet the latter. He was born after I was taken and died before I was brought back to Dathomir.

[That's more words than most people usually get out of Maul on the sore subject of his youngest brother. He's well aware his mother had sacrificed both her middle and her youngest sons to bring her eldest back.]