Video; Possible Bar Action; ....... lots of images under cut

[kingoftherats]

[The feed opens for a moment to Charlie, sporting a black eye and a scabbed lip (thank you Dean Winchester), but he doesn't seem to mind that; instead he's eagerly sitting in his bar, which is open to the public (sorry everyone), and it appears to have quite an assortment of questionable criminal-like men and old tired sailors.]

Hey, dudes! It's Charlie here, and I got a video I was gonna play for you — like, it's just a cool thing I put together for the pub now that it's open, but also because I'm gonna have a big sale there with all the crazy stuff I found around town this weekend, so — yeah, check it out! I think it came out pretty great!

And just as a tip: don't linger in the alleyway outside of the bar. People get stabbed there a lot.

[... A clumsily recorded video abruptly plays, full of weird cuts and zooms and-...]





























[When it cuts back to Charlie, he seems really proud of himself and awaits your adoration.

If anyone is so bold as to show up at this yard sale being held at Paddy's Pub's outdoor area... they may very well find some unique and unusual trinkets he had taken from the sewers... or just useless and/or gross things. There are absolutely diamonds in the rough here. May the odds ever be in your favor, because for every rock or sock or fork, there's a magical gem or rare ingredient to a spell.

Who knows what you'll find!

... And yes, the pub is likewise open for business, if you need moonshine to get you through the day.

He doesn't bother carding anyone here, for the record. He ain't your dad.]

Comments

[micycle]

Yeah, and now no one's a squid anymore. The ocean's squid country, weirdo.

[And do squids even fart?]

[kingoftherats]

And how do you know land squids aren't gonna be a thing?

[micycle]

Well they probably are now that you said it, dude!

[kingoftherats]

Good! Land squids are awesome! Don't be a dick to land squids!

Just 'cus you're a jealous bitch with your two arms and two legs doesn't mean you can take it out on them.

[micycle]

You're absolutely right. I'm just bitter because I want, like, ten more arms.

[How many tentacles do squids have? Why isn't Dustin still here to tell him??]

That wouldn't make anything in my life more complicated at all.

[kingoftherats]

It wouldn't! The worst thing is just walking around naked? Which you'd actually get an excuse for, because you don't have clothes that fit 10 arms!

And then you could, like, hold so many things. And play so many instruments!

[micycle]

I don't want to walk around naked! No one wants that!

[Or play a bunch of instruments, but that's not as atrocious a thought.]

[kingoftherats]

People do it all the time in those nudey colonies. Just sayin'.

[micycle]

[The most outrageously judgmental of squints.]

Nudey whats? That's not a thing.

[kingoftherats]

It absolutely is, dude. I swear. There are people who live in places where they just walk around naked all day. Full-on birthday suit shit.

[micycle]

In other countries, maybe. But America has laws and stuff about being naked outside.

[kingoftherats]

Bullshit! Philly lets people be naked all they want, as long as they're not being gross about it.

[now you know why he can crawl around naked in and out of sewers, michael]

[micycle]

Does it let you, or have you just not gotten caught yet?

[kingoftherats]

Uh, yeah dumbass. Philly lets you.

They've even got a naked bike race they do every year.

[micycle]

... Have you done it?

[Horrified but fascinated.]

[kingoftherats]

I was thinking about it!

... But my bikes all usually get stolen before I can decide.

[micycle]

There's this thing called a bike lock, dude.

[kingoftherats]

Psht, who has the money for that? C'mon.

[micycle]

You broke into a pizza place. You can break into a bike shop and steal one.

[kingoftherats]

Woooow, little Mikey-boy, telling people to steal!

I didn't know you were such a big damn criminal, bro. How many bike locks you been stealing?