deernet | 006 Video; UN: Filledwithsunshine

CW: Violence against a teen, past child abuse and neglect

[The fairest of them all was certainly not looking that way today. Her left arm was in a sling and cast, there was a bandage on her left cheek and a bandaid over her left temple. There are bruises on her right arm but the major damage is very clearly on her left side. Her omen, Faramund, the giant stag was staying right by her side and all the animals that perpetually come and go and live in her home all seem a bit more uneasy, as if they're glaring at the camera, ready to fight for her sake.]

Oh my! It got so cold so quickly! We're just jumping right into fall! I hope this won't affect the harvest!

We'll just have to pickle and preserve some things a bit earlier than expected! It's such a shame, it feels like we skipped right past the last bit of summer... oh dear, I'll have to check on all the baby animals in the forest. [What if they don't have their winter coats in time? Well, they can stay with her, she can ask ~~her cult~~ the people who consistently linger around her house to help with getting the little ones into her home if winter proves especially harsh.]

Oh ah... which does bring me to my next thought.

While I know it's important to preserve, cure, dry, and pickle things for winter, well, we need some levity too! The boardwalk had all sorts of food and games, but perhaps we can extend that into the town! Help... ease some tension and rebuild bridges.

[She idly rubs her cast.]

If anyone has any ideas on a festival or... anything, do let me know. Perhaps a festival is asking for too much, but perhaps a giant... ah, what is it called? Potluck? It seems a shame to end summer on such a [violent] tense note!

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Well, I'm sure they're very sorry now for what they did and if they knew how to find me... [She swallows, not really wanting to MEET them.] well, I'm sure he would apologize if we met again.

But thank you so much for caring about me, Peter. It's so lovely to know you care.

( There's a shift in his expression, something back to horror at the thought of this person finding her again. )

Oh— I hope they don't. I don't want them anywhere near you again.

( It's said softly, almost hesitantly. Because admitting that he does care for someone like her is.... difficult. She's small and sweet and he doesn't mean to but he breaks things like that. His heart's pounding with a dull ache. )

You're really nice, and... well, people should watch out for you, you know? You've already been through... so much.

To be honest, I don't really wish for him to be near me again, even if it is to apologize. [She winces.] I hope that doesn't make me seem like I'm being unforgiving. I'm very sure he didn't mean to do what he did.

Oh... well, that is very kind of you to say, I'm really not used to having... anyone watch out for me, until I met the dwarfs and then came here, no one was allowed to look out for me. If they did, they would have been thrown into the dungeon.

I suppose some part of me still worries that may happen, even if my stepmother isn't here.

( Peter pauses, the shape of his ache shifting a bit. There are things he's needed someone else to tell him, and they bubble up within him, quiet. )

It's... it's okay not to want him near you. To never want to see him again. What he did to you... was horrible.

It's even okay if you can't or don't want to forgive him. ( He adds softly. Then there's another sad frown at her next words, this one even deeper than before. )

It sounds like you were on your own for a long time. But... you definitely aren't anymore. I know you don't know me that well, but... I'm a big brother, back home. I think it's part of my job to look after people.

( The words hurt, but Peter manages a little smile, trying to be soft for her. )

.... Does... that mean you wish to be my big brother, Peter? [Her voice is soft, careful. She has no family. She lost her mother when she was born and her father not many years later. Her stepmother wants her dead.

The dwarfs loved her like a daughter but no one... no one has ever said they wish to make her a part of their family.

Her eyes feel like they're burning and she's trying desperately not to let the tears fall or to get her hopes too high because maybe it's a misunderstanding, maybe he's just explaining his home life. It doesn't necessarily mean it's an invitation to have a found family.]

Edited 2022-09-05 04:43 (UTC)

( He freezes. It's like everything stops— his heart, slowing to an odd thud in his ribcage. Over time, Peter's encountered many younger people that he's grown close to, cautiously at first, awkwardly. Trying to keep some distance, and always failing in the end— how could he ever keep them at an arm's length for too long? He's loved them all.

But it's still... strange, and hard. And no one's ever really said it outright like that, before. Used those specific words. Big brother. He looks stunned — not upset, but almost.... afraid.

Then he's finding himself again, mouth tipping open, eyes too wet. He has to reach up and brush the back of his knuckles against one, and he's apologetic for it— )

Sorry— I'm sorry. I'm—

I'd like that. ( But he knows his reaction must be strange, and he doesn't want to upset her. He needs to... explain. He has to swallow before he can, throat tight. )

I miss my little sister. She was... around your age. But she, um... she died.

I'm sorry about your little sister, I don't mean to sound or act like I wish to replace her, I know I never could. I just... I've never had a brother before.

Peter, are you alright?

Oh no— you didn't— didn't sound like that. ( Peter's quick to say, head giving a soft shake. He knows his reaction to this is always... intense. He knows he seems like some pathetic broken toy with its stuffing hanging out, that he can barely talk about some things without threatening to come to pieces. But it's not a burden he means to push onto the younger girl. )

I'm okay, I'm sorry. I still haven't.... It's just hard to talk about, still.

...I think she would have liked you, though. ( He offers a little smile. Charlie needed... softness. Snow's demeanour would have been like a balm to her. )

You don't have to talk about it if you're not ready, but if it would help, I'd be happy to listen.

I'm sure I would have liked her, too. I certainly like you.

( Peter hesitates. There's... so much to it, and so much that's too much. Things he can't... say, aloud. He's not sure he ever can.

But there's parts of it that have been coming out, slowly. His fingers nervously twist against themselves for a moment. )

She um... she was thirteen. Her name was Charlie. It's my fault she's dead.

( It comes out in a soft exhale along with the other facts listed. )

...Sorry. I know that's like, really heavy. It's just— it's just part of it, you know?

That is a very heavy burden you are carrying by saying it's your fault.

( It's true, and he knows it's true. A weight he carries, pressing down on his own bones, making everything so much heavier, but— he can't let go. )

I didn't protect her good enough. Wasn't... there, when she needed me.

I wasn't a very good big brother. ( Voiced almost in a whisper, ashamed. He just said his role back home was to watch out for people, but... the truth is, he failed in that role. )

006 Video; UN: Filledwithsunshine

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cw: nondescriptive mention of child death

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