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[ video -> voice | un: keith ]

[The video was brief, kind of like that moment when you activated the camera on your phone and forgot it was in selfie mode. The omni shook and rotated, leaving the viewer with a dizzying array of scenery that was kind of blurry and hard to make out. It was dark, though, like the person broadcasting was in a closed room with no lights on.

As the video shifted, glimpses of a person could be seen. A hand... the fingernails-turned-claws bitten down short as if trying to cover the transformation... a burn scar on the right side of a face... dark, almost black, hair with a purple tint, long-ish, shaggy looking, a thin white streak with a extremely slight violet hue to it near the left temple... pale skin... deep cobalt eyes that looked exhausted with dark tired bruises underneath from lack of sleep...]

Shit-...

[And the video was gone. It was just voice now, Keith's voice, but raspier than usual, worn sounding, loaded with regret and guilt and just... sad.]

I um... [He was hesitant. Unsure.] I wanted to... apologize. [His tone faltered, like he was searching for words, having trouble forming them and getting them out.] I... I did a lot of stuff last month. Just um... Yeah. The Reckoning took care of it.

But... if you still want... you know. Fine. I understand. I won't stop you.

[And then the feed shut off.]

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I guess.

[In general, Keith was thinking he should be out there getting shit from people, so taking it easy felt like the wrong thing to do.]

I just... want to make things right. Some people said that there was something... something evil possessing people... or good? Or just, I don't know. [Words were hard. Things were fuzzy. He was recovering from death.] I know that... maybe it was just some... exaggerated thing. But, at the time, it felt... I wanted to do them. I don't now. It wasn't normal.

[Keith was still coming to terms with the idea that this place, Trench itself, just messes with a person's head.]

.. I won't claim to be the person who understands the most about this place. [ Daniel says, a tad slowly.

Because it's true. He's still new enough in this place that he knows there's so much stuff yet that he either doesn't understand at all or doesn't fully understand yet, and he's not the type to claim he's an expert when he's not.

But even so-- ]

What I do know, though, is that sometimes this place just.. really seems to get into people's heads somehow. [ Don't ask him how, he has no clue how any of this specifically works. ] People say it messes with you. That it makes you think things you usually wouldn't think, or do things you usually wouldn't do.

And if that's the case.. then you probably shouldn't be blaming yourself here. To me it just sounds like this place somehow managed to change you for a while, and that you only now returned back to normal.

[Keith nodded, even if it was just voice on his end. The movement might be audible, though.]

Yeah. It's... it's not the first time...? I mean... that I've had something... controlling me like that. [He sighed heavily.] It's the first time I uh... I-I ever... you know...

[The Reckoning.]

[ Daniel is quiet for a moment after that last part - almost as if he's wondering whether Keith will actually continue or not. When he's sure the other won't after a moment or two though, the man speaks up again. ]

So it was different this time.

[ That's what he can make out from what Keith is trying to say here.

And though it doesn't sound like a question, Daniel seems to leave it at that for a moment. So Keith can confirm, or maybe say more, if he wants to. Daniel's mostly leaving the floor open for the other for whatever he's comfortable with sharing, or just wants to say. ]

I guess. Though, I heard that July is 'her month'. She's like the patron or something for July. And they usually come out and do their thing during their own months. Like, they're stronger or something. I don't know.

[Keith was still learning, honestly. And, he had a lot of information, but he was also very much the type to rely on others to fill his gaps. He knew his strengths, and he had learned over time and with being on Team Voltron how to have people fill in for his weaknesses.

Having people to keep track of certain types of information was definitely a good thing to have on your team. Keith didn't have his primary go-to people for that here. So, he was still adapting for that.]

Was it a different one that controlled you last time?

[ Since Keith did say it wasn't the first time. And since he's putting so much emphasis now on the month thing.. then it must mean that one of these beings is in charge of each specific month, right?

So if what he's talking about happened during another month, it could have been another one of these beings.

But if it was back home for him, then.. well, all bets are off. It's not like Daniel knows what the places people from are like anymore. ]

I guess I can understand it though. It seems like this particular one was.. pretty bad. [ The understatement of the year. ] People were already talking about it when I first showed up on the beach, early in the month.

[ And since they didn't really seem to be doing so this month, Daniel figures last month's being in charge must have been a pretty dangerous one. ]

Yeah... last time, it was some mirror thing. If you made eye contact with your reflection, then a mirror version of you took over your body. I was pretty conscious for that inside myself, just watching everything it was making me do.

This time, it was something with The Good and The Evil. Some people got possessed by The Good. Some got possessed by The Evil. I got The Evil.

[Keith sounded almost resigned about it, like he felt like he was just doomed to be possessed by every malevolent spirit that showed up in this place, and they would just make him run around and hurt people and cause chaos and destruction.]

I guess. I heard a lot of other things happened. I wasn't the only one doing things. So, maybe... maybe that's kind of a good thing. At least I wasn't alone in it.

[Keith huffed a tiny mirthless laugh through his nose.]

Welcome to Trench, I guess.

[ Daniel pauses.

Not exactly because of the information - though it's overwhelming in and of itself, in many ways. It's a sharp reminder of the kind of danger they're in while they're in this place, and that's not exactly a pleasant thought.

But he pushes that back. It's something to think about for later. He wouldn't want any messy emotions to slip out, after all. This guy seems to be having a hard enough time, and Daniel tries to turn his focus back to that. ]

.. you know, if you were really being controlled by something outside of you.. then an apology should be enough. [ If Keith really wants to own up to it. Technically it isn't his fault at all if there's something else behind it, but Daniel can understand still wanting to apologize when it's still your body.

But this is more about what Keith said after that in his initial message. ]

You really shouldn't let people do more to you in return.

[ That was the implication, right? That people could just.. come and take revenge on him. It sounded that way to Daniel, anyway. ]

Mm.

[Keith was quiet for a moment.]

There are people here like that, though. People who'd want to do more.

[ ..... ]

I wouldn't really blame them for it.

And would you be okay with that?

[ Because that's a different matter entirely. Sure, Daniel can imagine it's an objective fact that there are people who'd like to do more. Hurt often drives you to do wild things. Sometimes things that aren't even logical, like wanting to blame someone for what happened who could do just as little about what happened as you in the first place.

But what he's asking here is a different matter entirely.

No one likes to get hurt. Especially not with how far some people might be willing to go. ]

[Keith hesitated. He wanted to say 'yes', because that was the point, right? He was offering himself up for retribution to those who felt they needed it. Obviously death wasn't permanent, so, if someone killed him, he'd still come back anyway. So, if someone wanted to go even that far, then okay. Let them.

But, honestly? No. He wasn't okay with it. He took a shaky breath. He was scared. He didn't like pain. He hated the way he felt when he'd come back from being dead and being a squid. So, no. He wasn't okay with it. But, it was necessary... right?]

I don't know.

[ Daniel slowly exhales.

In sympathy, mostly. It hurts, watching young people put themselves through this stuff - because this place puts them through everything first. Through way more than any of them should have to handle. There's no way that doesn't make Daniel's heart ache. ]

Then don't do it.

[ Nothing about his voice is commanding. It's not even really firm, honestly.

It's just gentle, and on the edges there's a sense that he can imagine the other's pain. ]

Someone really important once told me that if you take revenge, you're digging two graves. Going through with something like that.. It would only hurt both you and the person trying to take revenge in that sort of way. There's got to be a better way of dealing with this stuff than for people to hurt each other over and over again.

Heh... [Keith's weak chuckle was without humor.] Yeah. [One would think, right?

And they'd been trying to get through that back home. But there were still plenty of people that wanted revenge against the Galra, even other Galra that wanted something for what they'd been through, some kind of retribution. It was an uphill battle sometimes. And Keith felt it every time he had to face the fact that his mother's people had done some terrible things, including to his father's people, and that was hard.

But here... there just seemed to be even less sense to it all. He sighed.]

Maybe. I just... [He took a breath.] I want to make things right. What else is there to do in a place like this?

[ There's a lot of things Daniel could say here. Technically it's not his place to judge and he knows it, since he wasn't a victim here, but he still has a hard time putting this much blame and guilt on such a young person's shoulders. It doesn't feel right. The only thing Keith should be doing to make up for it, if anything, is just continuing to do his best.

Daniel breathes in and out though, and then instead thinks of something else that might help. It could be a long shot, but.. ]

.. well.. have you ever tried meditating?

[ Probably not. It's not exactly a male teen hobby.

Daniel could know, once upon a time having been said male teen trying to figure out what mumbo jumbo his karate teacher was teaching him. ]

I wouldn't mind showing you sometime. It's helped me a lot over time.

[That got a small snort.]

Not often. It's not something I'm good at. I tend to do better with working out than sitting still.

[ It's not like Keith outright rejected his offer there, focusing instead on the first thing that Daneil said, but.. well, he's old enough to know rejection when he sees it, so he doesn't push the matter. ]

I know types like that.

[ Does he ever... Oh god, does Daniel ever. ]

Just as long as you're getting your feelings out somehow. It isn't healthy to carry those with you forever without doing something about it. [ Pot, kettle. ]

[Haha... Ha... Ha... Right. Voltrons were terrible at expressing their true feelings. The only one who almost never held anything back was Hunk. And he wasn't in Trench anymore. Pot, kettle, entire cookware set...]

Yeah. [There was a small huff, like Keith knew he was being called out. It wasn't the first time. And it likely wouldn't be the last. But, if his energy came back from being depressed, he'd probably wind up out in the woods later using some dead tree as a training dummy. Poor tree.] I've been trying to get better at that...

I also know that isn't always easy.

[ Getting better at that. Just look here. Daniel LaRusso, a grownass man old enough to have a midlife crisis, and yet he refuses to talk about his deepest trauma with even one of the many people around them.

It's probably why he doesn't sound harsh about this. Because he truly does get it, and the last thing he'd want to do is kick Keith when the other is already clearly down.

But-- ]

Sometimes it helps if you find out what way works best for you. There's a whole spectrum of ways to get your feelings out, you know? Talking is the most obvious one, but sometimes also the hardest. Sometimes it helps if you instead put all those feelings into some hobby or activity. [ W-Which may be part of why Daniel himself is so karate obsessed, sssh... ]

Hobby or activity... [Keith almost snorted.] Yeah. I've got a couple of those. I don't know how constructive they are, but... they kinda help. I've got my hoverbike here, too. So, that's one. [Gotta go fast.] And, in a place like this, well, I've been keeping on top of my combat skills. [He didn't have the video on at the moment, but, when Keith didn't look like death warmed over, he was pretty athletic. He trained a lot.]

[ Daniel's voice sounds warm as he speaks. ]

Hey, don't knock down driving around like that. It's a good activity! [ But then again, Daniel is a car salesman and a car enthusiast.

Of course he of all people would say this. ]

It gets you out of your head for a little while, right? I get it. I always feel the same way, even if I'm more of a car guy than a.. hoverbike guy. [ Mostly because they don't have hoverbikes back home.

But he's just more of a car than a bike guy in general, so it works. ]

If it's something that's helping you, no matter how slightly, then I'd say it's definitely something constructive.

[ There, Keith. Have some Dad Patented positive reinforcement. ]

[Dad Patented positive reinforcement was good. In fact, it sounded a heck of a lot like some of the Big Brother Patented positive reinforcement that Keith had gotten over the years from Shiro. So much so, in fact, that it actually does bring something of a tiny weak smile to Keith's face.]

Yeah. I'm a fighter pilot back home. Going fast forces me to pay more attention to my surroundings and to focus on what I'm doing in the moment more than letting everything else rattle around in my head too much. You have to focus at high speed or it could be pretty bad.

Edited 2022-11-10 16:01 (UTC)

A fighter pilot at your age?

[ Sure, there's some surprise in Daniel's tone, since.. that's not really often a thing where Daniel himself comes from - if he's judging Keith's age accurately, anyway.

(He thinks he is, but you never know in this place.) ]

That must mean you're really talented. Especially if you're so responsible about it. [ Judging by everything else the other is saying here.

.. or the alternative take is that Keith is a fighter pilot at such a young age since there's some Really Bad Stuff going on in the other's world, but Daniel would rather think about the angle he's presenting out loud. ]

[Keith blinked a bit at Daniel's surprise and then nodded.]

Yeah. I was in a training program with the Galaxy Garrison where they recruited a bunch of us from various schools around the world to come learn how to fly and be space explorers. I got recruited when I was thirteen. Most of us were around that age. I guess it could be considered like some junior officer's program or something. [Like JROTC.] Usually, you graduated around twenty-four if you didn't flunk out or get held back on something. [There was something else there, and Keith wasn't sure if he wanted to admit to getting kicked out at eighteen because he couldn't control his temper.] But, then I got involved with Voltron. Been doing that for a few years now. [Even if he skipped the part about being stuck in a quantum abyss and spending time with the Blades as an undercover guerilla fighter... But, either way, he was at least old enough to legally drink alcohol now!]

[ .. recruited.. at thirteen?

There are so many alarm bells going off in Daniel's head right now. Keith has no idea. Mostly because Daniel is still mostly keeping calm on the outside, but.. boy, does that ever sound like potential child endangerment to him.

Especially since Daniel is such an overprotective dad in the first place.

He tries to not think about it too hard for a moment though, mostly to stay calm, so he instead asks: ]

And what's Voltron then?

[It's okay, Daniel. Think of it like a military school, but not just designed to punish rebellious kids... even if Keith happened to actually have been a rebellious kid...]

Voltron itself is a giant robot... a really, really giant robot. It's made up of five smaller robots that combine together to make the big one. It's the greatest weapon our universe has, created to defend people who can't defend themselves.

Edited 2022-12-01 23:09 (UTC)

[ video -> voice | un: keith ]

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