Stanley Pines (
charlastan) wrote in
deernet2021-09-30 01:10 am
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Video; un: MrMurdery
[Stan is broadcasting from what some might recognize as the interior of the Murder Hut. Throughout the month Stan's been working on repairs because it's a good way to get rid of all that bloodsport energy and also the humming endless anxiety about how October is coming.
But when he gets on camera, he's grinning! He's kind of tired around the edges, but he's chipper at least!]
Hello, Trench! It's your local Mr. Murder-y here!
[He waves, like it's an infomercial!]
Mark your calendars, folks! The Murder Hut is returning November 1st! That's right; we're absolutely not messing around with October here at the Hut. Once whatever's gonna happen happens, we'll be open for business!
[The windows directly behind Stan are pre-emptively boarded up, in fact. You know...just in case. It's fine.]
Anyway! I'm looking for unpaid labor to help me fix up the Murder Hut to get ready for our grand reopening. It's still pretty busted from that time I got eaten by a giant worm. Now, where are all those teenagers I've come to know and tolerate?
[He mimes like he's squinting out into an audience. Surely someone will turn up to help him with a pitch like that, right?]
But when he gets on camera, he's grinning! He's kind of tired around the edges, but he's chipper at least!]
Hello, Trench! It's your local Mr. Murder-y here!
[He waves, like it's an infomercial!]
Mark your calendars, folks! The Murder Hut is returning November 1st! That's right; we're absolutely not messing around with October here at the Hut. Once whatever's gonna happen happens, we'll be open for business!
[The windows directly behind Stan are pre-emptively boarded up, in fact. You know...just in case. It's fine.]
Anyway! I'm looking for unpaid labor to help me fix up the Murder Hut to get ready for our grand reopening. It's still pretty busted from that time I got eaten by a giant worm. Now, where are all those teenagers I've come to know and tolerate?
[He mimes like he's squinting out into an audience. Surely someone will turn up to help him with a pitch like that, right?]
voice; un: shiro
[He remembers those. Fondly. Very fondly. Please say they're coming back and he'll be your beefy dorito arms.]
voice; un: MrMurdery
[It was a very important detour he had to make. Now he (mostly) only sets things on fire on purpose!]
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video | un: agentmothman
[Guess who hasn't been told why October might get real bad here yet.]
Also you... got eaten by a giant worm? Seriously?
video | un: MrMurdery
[It wasn't exactly a great time.]
October's always a horror show, or at least it was in Deerington. We've got no reason to assume it's not gonna be the same here. The last one threw us into a horrible endless night - no one could sleep, everyone was paranoid and twitchy, and half the town was turning into monsters! And that's not even getting into the streets literally flooding with blood, or how people went nuts drinking it, or how the whole town shut down so no one could get any food anywhere.
Seriously, you might as well just get a bunch of canned brown meat now and shut yourself inside until it blows over.
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cw: mentions of eye horror
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voice; un: doublehedgedsword
[Of course he is, he'll always help Stan out when he needs it. There's something that's got him a little concerned, though.]
But you don't look so good. You okay?
voice; un: MrMurdery
Eh, it's nothing big - just haven't slept great lately. Probably, I dunno. Pre-October jitters or something dumb like that.
[That makes more sense to him than his stupid blood making him anxious as hell - there's a reason behind all of this! Clearly!]
But great! I can definitely use another pair of hands around here. That worm did a real number on this place.
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text; username: grollschwert
Why do we have a hut for murders?
text; UN: Mr. Murdery
CAUSE IT SOUNDS BETTER THAN A MURDER HOUSE!
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Video | UN: ClickClickBloom
Murder Hut 2: Electric Boogaloo.
And right after my birthday too, what more could a girl ask for?
Count me in on any help you need!
Even if you need a like a blanket or something to take a nap.
Video | UN: MrMurdery
[He sounds delighted, honestly.]
Yeah, yeah, I know, I look like I haven't slept in thirty years. [He waves off the blanket offer and huffs a little. He's fiiiine.] I just gotta get this done before October hits and tries to break the place even worse than it already is. I'll take any manual labor you can offer!
Video UN: glyphywitchy
I'm ready to help when you need me!
[Private]
How are you doing. Mr. Pines? You look a bit worn out.
Video UN: MrMurdery -> Private
I'm ready any time anyone wants to head on down here!
[He switches the feed to private after that, but he still waves a hand dismissively.]
Eh, I'm fine - just haven't gotten much sleep lately, that's all. It's nothin' to worry about, kiddo.
Re: Video UN: MrMurdery -> Private
Re: Video UN: MrMurdery -> Private
un: trienemybest; video
[He sounds so thrilled. The most thrilled anyone can ever be about a thing in the history of ever. ]
Re: un: trienemybest; video
Your boyfriend has a bone museum in his room, how's Stan's any different?
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un: MrMurdery; video
[SO THERE.]
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tw: skinning cryptids idek
tw: skinning cryptids I suppose!!!
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Video: UN - Runeseeker
Oh you're doing it again? Wonderful. Cellar Door per chance or where are you getting set up?
...
And November is wise.
Video: UN - MrMurdery
[He's pretty glad that the place didn't turn up in the middle of the woods again - he's gotten the impression that it would be unreasonably dangerous to have a business that was actually that isolated here.
And, more importantly, no sane person would actually come.]
Yeah, thought so. I only had to deal with one October unprepared and that was enough for one lifetime, thanks.
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video; UN: seeingtheworld
[He's assuming if this guy is advertising it openly, it's not just a hut where he murders people.]
video; UN: MrMurdery
The Murder Hut's one of the greatest wonders of the world! A museum of the mysterious and terrifying and just plain weird! Come on a tour when we open and you'll see the most strange and bizarre and almost certainly real skeletons you've ever laid eyes on!
Re: video; UN: MrMurdery
Re: video; UN: MrMurdery
video | un: diggs
[The boy, prone to unfortunate levels of seriousness, was beaming in both relief and goofy teenage delight.]
I'm so glad you're not changing the name! You know what I can do, so call if you need any help Mr. Stan!
[Never mind that he's.... still dating your nephew and is probably over frequently enough anyway. Though some of those visits might have been through a 1990s style sitcom window entry.
Birds. Anything that opens is a door.]
video | un: MrMurdery
[He's not going to question it - especially not when Oscar is this genuinely excited about it. It's so rare for the kid to actually act like a kid, so he's glad to give him the chance for once.]
Heh, I wouldn't change the name this late in the game anyway. But sure! Just pop over to the Hut any time and I'll put you to work!
[There's still a lot to fix, so the more the merrier at this point.]
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video | un: sharpshooter
video | un: MrMurdery
I sell tours of the weird and bizarre things in my curated collection! Plus definitely not overpriced souvenirs.
[Not that that matters a ton anymore, but Stan will still have fun with it on a shinies barter system.]
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Video; UN: Cuddlebunny
Video; UN: MrMurdery
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