(VIDEO) — UN: BOMBSHELL

[opheliac]

(the video begins of a zoom up of a pair of eyes. an animal to be exact. they blink curiously before it gets pulled back -- revealing it's a spider monkey holding the omni. he holds it up above him and even turns it upside-down and other various angles. hopefully the lovely people aren't easily to become motion sickness upon viewing this but if they do, their own fault really.)

Got it workin'?

(there's a voice coming from off camera; familiar to some or not. but the monkey looks off to the direction of the voice before turning the omni over so whoever is watching can now see jinx sitting in a chair -- slouching with her arm hanging over the top railing. there's a grin that slowly grows on her face, however, it's not... exactly a friendly kind. impish? troubling? dangerous? you'd be the judge. nevertheless, jinx hunches over now with both her arms drape over her knees -- looking directly at the omni.)

So! — Greetings people of.... whatever this place is. Kiiiinda forgot the name but not really important. I've been hearin' a lotta here and there that I've been here before. Don't really remember it, though. (a brief pause as she thinks.) Except the last time. I remember the last time but not the other times.

Buuuuuuuuut ♪! Since I've been here a whoooole BUNCH of times that means I gotta have some friends here, right?

(she bites her bottom lip to hold back a giggle as the video suddenly wavers around. but quickly it straightens up and focus with a closer look of jinx (it seems she's the one holding it now) in a bird's eye view. her spider monkey climbs on her body then curling himself along her shoulder and neck while also looking up at the feed along with her.)

So if ya know me, contact me. OH! And you got like, thirty minutes to convince me why my former self even bothered wasting my breath on you. Don't keep me waitin' too long 'cuz I get bored easily.

(a beat.)

ACTUALLY, NEVERMIND!!! — Decided to change it to twenty minutes. (her spider monkey seems to be screeching in laughter at jinx's sudden time change but resumes on nuzzling it's head against her cheek.)

OH OH! One more big thing. There's someone here by the name of Vi. If you know her, contact me too. So we can aaaaalll be friends and get along. No shame in that, right?

(she says this but there's something about that smile that really makes it... off putting. regardless though, jinx hums quietly as she cocks her head to the side.)

Tick-tock, tick-tock.

Comments

[azurestar]

Well, he did get right back up, but we kept putting him down. No big deal.

[It was a very big scary deal, he's a liar liar.]

[opheliac]

Wwweellll, I know who to call if I need a partner in crime. So what is your name, Dangerous?

[azurestar]

Why you askin when you're just gonna use a nickname? 'Dangerous' is new, but not bad at all. [He chuckles.]

In all seriousness, though, the name's Lance. Nice to meet you again.

[opheliac]

Nice to meetcha again, too. What was the other nickname I gave ya? If I didn't pick Dangerous or Mr. Danger?

[azurestar]

Sparky. I thiiiink because of how my "bombs" look.

[opheliac]

Sparky's pretty good. Okay, how's this? I'm givin' you a one time shot opportunity to pick your own. Better make it count!

[azurestar]

[He puts a hand to his chin thoughtfully.]

Man, it's tempting, buuuut it'd probably mean more if I earn it, right?

[opheliac]

Thaaaaaaat is also true. Hmmm Hmmm... I guess for now, you'll just be "Guy" 'till you make yourself worthy of me. Sound good?

[azurestar]

[He lets out a bit of a rough laugh at that.]

You've seriously got a thing against using people's actual names, huh. But yeah, sure. Could be worse. I've got a hunting patrol later if you wanna hang out and fight some monsters. Ooor, after that I'll be at Earworm.

[opheliac]

Why pick when I can just do both?! Kill monsters then party right after. — Soouuunds like a blast to me!!

(surely nothing horrible will happen and mishap hijinks will produce in this event.)

[azurestar]

Just like I always say: fight hard, party harder.

[He winks with double finger guns. They'll be fiiiiine.]

I'll be starting on the eastern outskirts of Crenshaw in a couple hours. [He sends her the coordinates and a rough route plan.] Join up whenever you feel like it.

[opheliac]

Neat!

(jinx leans off to the right of her to appear off screen but he can still her hear shouting:)

Hey, Princess!! I'm gonna hang out with this guy I don't know and never met before but kinda did then gonna kill monsters where I might die or lose an arm but it's no biggie. Don't tell Vi to wait up! Oh yeah and I hate you!

(she comes back in few again in all smiles.)

SO! 'Sides my machine gun and my Chompers, anythin' else I gotta bring along? Don't know this place but I've heard it's pretty whacko.

shouted offscreen

[dohaeris]

[a little muffled:]

That's my sworn sword Lance, Genius!

Ser Lance, please keep both Jinx and yourself alive, and tell her it's very uncool to hate me.

[azurestar]

Wh-? Al- I mean, uh-

[But he stops when he sees that Jinx is carrying her omni too far. Welp, he'll just ask Jinx how they know each other when he sees her.]

[azurestar]

[After a brief stuttering of surprise at hearing Sansa's voice answer, he shakes it off to talk to Jinx again.]

Nope! All your weapons and wits is about all you need. [Then he snickers a bit.] Yeeaahh, whacko's one word for it. I call it horror hell town.

[opheliac]

"Horror Hell Town" sounds good! But it'll be better if it had somethin' with another "H". Call it the "triple H"...!

[azurestar]

Oh hey, that's good, that's really good… [He brings a hand to his chin, making a show of thinking about another 'H' word.] …Habitat? No… Hamlet? Nah… Hole?

[opheliac]

Pffft! — "Horror Hell Hole", ha ha ha! That sounds hilarious. Let's keep that one!

(all in giggles when she should... probably get up and pack up for this adventure.)

[azurestar]

[He can't help but snicker along with her. Look, everything is awful all the time, so laughing at it feels like the thing to do.]

Oh man, you know what's even better? "Triple H" totally sounds like a butt cream. For hemorrhoids!

[opheliac]

"Regular H" for normal hemorrhoids, "Double H" for double hemorrhoids, "Triple H" for WHOA SHIT, EMERGENCY, HOW THE HELL YOU GET THAT?!!

(she is giggling so hard -- jinx is leaning back on her chair on its hind legs. but luckily, she isn't falling over (yet). )

Waitwaitwait! We shouldn't joke. Someone here might have that problem. ... Actually, NAH! Let's laugh.

[azurestar]

[Lance lets out a burst of a snort-laugh and devolves into some laughter.] Aw man, talk about gross. Y'know, I think I might've seen a Trenchie with triple hemorrhoids walking around right before they transformed into a beast. Their butt was bulging out like this-

[He bends over to give her a profile of himself and gestures with his hands behind his own rear to give her an idea.]

And then BOOM, his pants ripped open and he turned into a big bulbous monster. [He straightens and puts a hand to his chin as he recalls, trying really hard not to laugh.] K-kinda dumb luck that I got him to turn back, the guy's still walking around, b-but he's… got a limp now.

[It shouldn't be funny, poor dude. So Lance is trying really hard to hold in his laughter, little bits escaping here and there.]

[opheliac]

Ewwwwww!! — That is SO nasty...!! But also, HA HA! He probably deserved that gross lump. I'm willin' to bet that guy is actually some slimy sleazeball that'll con ya outta crap.

(or maybe the reality, the trench folk is just a really nice person with a family and a hard worker. but who needs the truth? because making things up is way funnier.)

[azurestar]

[He makes a bit of a dismissive wave with his hand and chuckles.]

I dunno about what he deserved, but the guy should go see a night walker more regularly or something. Waaay less embarrassing for him that way. Though, I guess that depends on what kinda night walker he goes to now…

[opheliac]

What's a "night walker"?

[azurestar]

It's a profession around here. Night Walkers help people with corruption by like being there for them and stuff. In all kinds of ways. [He's reached the edge of town and pauses to lean against the outer wall.] Iii've dabbled in it a bit myself on the weekends.