( video | un: alucard )

[ananym]

[ he really hates doing this . . . but alucard knows he needs to commit to it. the feed turns on with him looking . . . not quite sheepish, but a tinge of irritation layered with contriteness. ]

Last month, I had the unfortunate issue of losing control of my vampiric nature and lashed out onto a number of people here. I hope you would be willing to accept my apology and if not, direct me in ways where I can make amends. I . . . do not usually need or require blood as sustenance so it took me by surprise.

My apologies. If it helps, it seems I've lost my sense of taste. Perhaps that is penance in a way.

Comments

[ananym]

[ a pang runs through him. she sounded like trevor. ]

It most certainly is.

[fogsong]

I hate it so fucking much I could scream. It's been a month and it feels like it was yesterday. I do everything I can to forget for a few hours but then I come home and... remember all over again. [ she laughs but it's a bitter sound. a tired one. she sighs. ]

[ananym]

. . . And all your memories are trapped in that place.

[ like his were. ]

[fogsong]

[ it's her turn to fall quiet and nod her head, jaw tight. ]

[ananym]

[ gently. ]</small Have you thought about moving or allowing for company?

[fogsong]

My mother chose this home. She picked out all the decorations and fixed up the bedrooms. [ when she speaks of her mother, her voice is warm and she smiles just a little ] I could never leave it. I do sometimes stay at my mentor's place, though. It does help to get away but I get antsy being gone too long.

[ as for company ] I had people over a few times right after she left but I've always been weird when it comes to company. I never want to ask for it and I'm an awful host. I don't know what normal people do.

[ananym]

What does it matter what normal people do? No one here is normal.

What is it you want to do?

[fogsong]

Different kind of normal.

I don't know. [ she knows that's a shitty response but it's honest. she never knows what she wants because she's still not used to being able to want. ] Maybe just company, I guess? Someone to sit with me while I paint.

[ananym]

Perhaps you can start with a pet if a person feels like too much of a commitment.

[fogsong]

[ that... actually makes her laugh. ]

A pet? I can hardly take care of myself, Alucard. A person can come and go but a pet is something I'd have to care for. I don't think I'm ready for that kind of responsibility.

[ananym]

And you may never be ready unless you try.

What do you have to lose?

[fogsong]

Oh, I dunno, the pet. [ a little deadpan ]

[ananym]

Then just pick a durable pet.

[fogsong]

I'll get a rock and paint eyes on it. Durable. Cute. And I can throw it at you for the awful suggestion.

[ananym]

And yet it would be a suggestion you followed through on.

[fogsong]

...you have no idea how much that makes me want to not follow through.

[ananym]

Now you're just being contrary.

[fogsong]

Only a little.

[ananym]

It is ultimately up to you.

[fogsong]

I know.

Thanks for the advice, Alucard. Can't promise I'll take it but I do appreciate it.

[ananym]

You are most welcome.