Misfire Video -> Text | UN: 1stStrike

[strikefirster]

[The feed opens up to Johnny Lawrence staring at the screen like he isn't aware that it's currently life. He's looking incredible thoughtful as his fingers type down a message. It's... very uncharacteristically thoughtful of him. It would almost be hard to peg him as the same person if not for the occasional pause to take a swig of beer.

After a moment he stops. His eyes scan over the screen again as he carefully reads back what he's written. Then there's a little flick of annoyance that shifts to frustration.]

No this is stupid.

[He whacks the screen before standing up putting and shoving it aside lightly.]

You don't apologize. That shows weakness-

And there's no wea-

[The feed shuts off.]

[And a moment later another message comes through via text.]

Dear Robby,

I just wanted to apologize for what happened at Miyagi-Do the other day. I didn't want things to break into a fight, especially not like the one that did. I wanted to come and support you and what you had chosen to do. But I thought if I showed up in any sort of Eagle Fang gear it would be taken as a challenge. It turns out it did anyways as well an insult to your training ground.

All I can say is I'm sorry. You have every right to be mad at me.

If you can find it in your heart, don't blame Paul for this. He's a good kid who just got roped into the mess I made.

Johnny.

-

Dear Daniel LaRusso,

I'm sorry for the scene I caused at your dojo. I didn't mean any disrespect to Miyagi-Do and, I wasn't looking to reopen any can of worms between us.

I've been trying my best to support Robby and respect his wishes to give him space since he got here. And even though he told me that he'd be helping you reopen your dojo. It still hurt that he chose to stick by you instead of give me a chance to prove that I can be there for him.

It's why I showed up to the dojo in the fucking plumbers get up. I panicked and thought if I showed up doing anything karate related it'd be seen as disrespecting your dojo or a direct challenge to what you were doing.

Turns out it was both either way. Go fucking figure I'd screw it up that bad.

I'll do my best to keep my distance from your dojo. But don't blame Paul for this. He's a good kid and he just got pulled into my bullshit.

Johnny.

-

Dear Paul,

I'm sorry for dragging you into that mess. My relationship with Robby and LaRusso is a shit show on the best of days. And instead of owning up to that like a sensei should, I threw you into the middle of it. I put you in a position where you had to face the consequences of every bad decision I've made in my life. You didn't deserve that.

I keep telling you that I'm not going to fail you again. And then I go and do it all over again.

The way you stood up after all of that and apologized for what had happened. I just

I wish I could be half the man you were in that moment.

Don't blame LaRusso or Robby for what happened there. They were just trying to get at my while I hid behind you.

You're the real badass here.

Johnny

Comments

Voice | un: londonstar

[slightlytaller]

Johnny, you may want to put a filter on this immediately.

This looks personal, but somehow it's on the public feed.

[strikefirster]

[It's hours before Johnny actually gets back to his Omni to respond to this.

And when he sees it.

He just makes this face for a long while.]

[Video] un: QueenCobra, private

[abornfighter]

[She checks this over very carefully to make sure it's private before sending it over. He tends to do better with more emotional conversations if they're private.]

Hey. Something I learned in anger management therapy was that sometimes it takes more courage to step up and admit you were wrong than it does to get into fights. I don't think you meant for the apologies to go public, but it's not necessarily a bad thing that it did.

Private - But do to the nature of the misfires. Is it really?

[strikefirster]

[Okay. Johnny is reeling from the fact that this went out. He is generally upfront and honest with the first thing that comes to his mind. But... He's not used to having the feelings he's buried down come out like this.

He does appreciate seeing the private filter pop up for this. It gives him a minute to process.]

I didn't...

I wasn't going to send any of this.

I swear to god I hit the delete button instead.

[Probably not the best thing to admit here but... Here he goes doing it anyways.]

Do you- Really think that?

text; username: grollschwert [private]

[hauntedsavior]

Hey, Johnny.
You probably know by now that these got blasted out to the network.
I'm proud of you for apologizing. I know it ain't easy owning up to your own mistakes like this, but I think you did good here.

You wanna get together and talk about anything? 'Cause you're probably sitting here still calling yourself weak for apologizing in the first place, if I know you.
We could head down to the dojo and beat the shit out of some dummies together or something.

Private

[strikefirster]

[It's a few hours before Johnny actually gets back to this. Mostly because he hadn't intended to send any of these messages out for real.

So he comes back and is absolutely in panic mode about it.

And unfortunately he's a little too fucking honest about the situation.]

Shit Shit Shit
This wasn't supposed to go out at all.
I fucking hit the trash can button.
Not the send button.

Yeah.

Shit.

Fuck.

[It's another few minutes before another response comes through.]

Do you really mean that?

Text | un: lookingglass

[payingfordeliverance]

[Ah, it has finally happened. After making it a point to ignore this man for months, Johnny Lawrence finally makes Break roll his eye so hard he hurts himself, and he is no longer able to keep his own mouth shut.]

To apologize is to show understanding of the sway a person holds over those around him, and to acknowledge it and bow one's head to those people when things go wrong is to take responsibility for them and their pain.

It is not a weakness. There is power in it.

[A proper apology from Xerxes Break is so rare one of his own kids checked him for a fever and accused him of having entered menopause over it once, before they knew one another well. But by gum, when Break needs to do it he does it without hesitation, and if he can manage it no one else has any excuse.]

[strikefirster]

It's weakness when it's just empty words.

Reality is I'm just going to screw up again and push these people further away.

I've done this dance enough to know how it goes.

un: 2B (private)

[robussy]

Apologies are a sign of strength.

Robby deserves that strength, if he is your progeny.

(private)

[strikefirster]

[The text comes back a few hours later. Once he's realized and had some time to process that this has gone public and that it's been sent in the first place.]

He deserves that and a hell of a lot more.
But he doesn't want it from me.
And I don't blame him for that.

I've done nothing but screw it up for him since he got here.
And well before that too.

text un: vi

[faceblocks]

that whole thing up there?
not entirely my business and idk if u meant to send it but the omnis are fucked so

anyway since it's out there

also that whole thing up there: its the opposite of weak

[strikefirster]

Omni's are fucked.
Hit the trash can button and it still went out.

You sure about that?
At best it's only half of what any of them deserve.

text; un: d.larusso; private

[miyagimagic]

[ Does Daniel just sigh when he sees this? Yes, he sure does. It's not even about the apology aimed at him - that's.. fine, he supposes, mostly because it's not really like he was mad at Johnny in the first place. There's some stuff in it that bothers him a little, but..

It's not the point here. No, instead Daniel reads all of it, and it's like he can already see dark clouds gathering, like the omen of a storm that's to come. And while he knows he can't prevent it anymore now this is out here in the open, he knows that he's at least got to do something.

.. even if he really doesn't want to. You can't blame a man for dragging his feet about the idea of having to talk to Johnny Lawrence about emotions, right. Or about parenting. If it wasn't for the way his Omen is looking at him, Daniel may be tempted to not do this.

But he knows he has to. Ugh. ]

We need to talk in person.

It's not about the apology. It's about Robby.

private

[strikefirster]

[And Johnny feels the wheels start turning in his head the moment he gets this text.

The apology wasn't the problem? Okay. Then what is the problem.]

When and where?

Is he hurt? What happened?

voice | un: younghuman | private

[terriblepurpose]

[Under almost any other circumstances, Paul would have been one of the first to attempt to intervene to help Johnny save face - but under almost any other circumstances, this message wouldn't exist.

It only does here by mistake, or small miracle. However a person might name it.]

I don't blame them.

I don't blame you either.

[Bitter gall in his heart: he wants to blame someone. He wants this to be easier and cleaner, with tucked in edges and a clear line of causation.

But life isn't that neat, and feelings aren't so simple.]

I thought you were angry with me.

[He hates the words as soon as they're out of his mouth, cracked and fragile. It's stupid, and so is he.]

Private

[strikefirster]

[...Offff. It hurts to see this pop up on his feed after seeing how everyone has reacted to this. It just adds to the pile of how much he thinks he's let everyone down here.

He pauses and wonders what might have happened if he hadn't of sent of this out.]

No. Never. I couldn't be fucking mad at you, kid.

Or Robby.

Hell I could be mad at LaRusso, but not this time.

All this shit- It's all on me here.

Where did you even get that into your head?

text / private / un: silverbullet

[dynatox]

How many apologies are you going to have to make here?
It's only a matter of time before they all get sick of you.

private

[strikefirster]

As many as I need to.
Would you look at that. Turns out we have more in common than Kreese after all.

text; un: tabris

[peripheries]

What is the point of all of this? You apologize again and again but you never change. An endless of mistakes, regret, and apologies.

...You said you wouldn't hurt him again.

[strikefirster]

This wasn't supposed to go out all.

Because you're right, kid.

I'm a fucking screw up and there's no way around it.

Text: UN: Cuddlebunny

[lightthedarkness]

You know, this is actually very brave of you to do. Owning up to mistakes made and apologizing for them is not admitting weakness. It takes the greatest of strength to admit when you are wrong.

Though it's unfortunate the whole network got this instead of its intended people.

[strikefirster]

I don't want to take any credit for this being bravery.
If it had of went where it was supposed to it would be in the trash.

It's not going to get me very far here.

un: MAKIMA

[overlies]

Oh, dear.
Did you mean what you wrote, at least?

[strikefirster]

I don't say shit that I don't mean.

text; un: gaiaonline

[lipochrome]

who the fuck is robby

Text UN: 1stStrike

[strikefirster]

He's my son.
Sorry you must have been cocoon or some shit when he first got here.

un: kickflips, text

[strongroots]

[ If it had been his message alone he saw, Robby might've taken this differently.

It's offensive. It's the same tired apology explaining a new fuck-up by his dad, and he'd take it in the same way he did the others: a little angrier than before (he's still reeling from the dojo blow up), but accepted it, told his dad to shape the fuck up already. I don't even know if I want to talk to you, he might be able to say, and not have it turn out a lie.

Granted, it still being public might've changed things -- just how all of their drama ends up public, how he gets dragged into drama that has nothing to do with him, though he doesn't feel its effects the same as the other parties involved. Paubby. He's tired of that too, the spectators that get involved even when his dad isn't who the subject is meant to be about.

But this subject isn't just about him. It's about Mister LaRusso, it's about Paul -- and it's where Robby reads the message intended for Paul that he feels the last shred of his restraint snap. Because he's the real badass, he's the man his dad wants to be like; he's the one who deserves his father's adoration, the one who gets his intimacy.

(They were just trying to get at me, like they were vultures waiting to pounce on him. Like he hadn't fucking insulted Miyagi-do the day before; like he's such a chicken shit he has to paint them as the bad guys who chose to make Paul their target.)

It's somewhere on the second read that he notices that his is signed Johnny, and not dad, and it's so, so fucking funny. It's so funny that Robby doesn't laugh, staring hard at the screen of his omni, reading the replies that make him want to tear off his skin. ]

Wow look at you, you're so strong. You wrote messages you weren't going to send. I wonder if you ever did that back home?

But you tried and that's what counts. You have demons. Who can blame you for failing 90% of the time? 95%? It's not easy following up what you say. Do you think you'll ever do that one day?

You don't need to tell me. You have a new family here. Tell them. I would ask what surname you use here, but I don't need to know.

anyway 0/10 on the attempt, but good on you for owning up to the fact your words mean nothing, [ full stop, except he backspaces and adds: ] Johnny.

dont contact me

[strikefirster]

[Read.]

Text; un: darkness; Private

[survivalthroughhate]

[Maul reads through all of the responses before he adds his own. Surprisingly, he's not here to gloat or be an asshole about this whole situation. He's been where Johnny has and knows he needs encouragement, not mockery.]

Don't listen to those who are just going to throw this in your face. What you did takes great courage and force of will when you're unused to taking responsibility for anything in your life.

[Then he adds on:]

Understand I'm not trying to be cruel when I say learning you're Robby's father explains quite a bit about you both.

Private

[strikefirster]

[This is not exactly who Johnny was expecting to hear from. But... Considering his and Maul's relationship. But the words do make sense to.]

I guess...

I wasn't planning on sending any of this out though. So I can't take a lot of credit for courage if it wasn't supposed to see the light of day.

And what exactly do you mean by that?

text; un: hakkai

[knowsvinewhip]

I suppose a letter of apology is as good as any.

Though, I'm sure you've been made aware this is a public service announcement?

text

[strikefirster]

Yeah.

It's been brought to my attention.

Thanks for that.

text; private | un: harbinger

[bolstafir]

[Qrow does not know Johnny Lawrence well, of course. He's kept something of a distance since the whole shit in clock incident, really. But watching all this unfold does remind him of a time when he'd been hurting and angry, and the long and difficult road it had taken to mend fences with the person who had hurt him.]

hey
so even odds you don't even know me -- name's qrow, i help out at ozpin's school
but from experience: don't actually give up and disappear from that kid's life because ~you're a screwup and he'd be better off without you~ or whatever
it's just gonna hurt him worse

apologizing isn't weak, but it's only the first step

[And it has to be the right one, but he doesn't know enough about this guy and his kid and their issues to bring that up.]

it doesn't really start until you actually do something different
doesn't have to be huge, but it has to be something he'd notice

[For Qrow, Ozpin's start had been in October. When he was there to collect him after he died, when he made the promise not to run away anymore. To tell Qrow about the next thing that happens in the war if he learned it first, so that he would not simply be honest merely because he was out of secrets.

He can't give any specific advice without knowing what has gone wrong between Johnny and his son, but he knows as well as anyone that even a door shut in someone's face isn't necessarily closed forever.]

Private

[strikefirster]

[Johnny reads over this and well. He know he doesn't really deserve any help from anyone who's pals with Ozpin. But he does appreciate it. And this kind of advice is something he feels he can use a little more. It's grounded beyond than just affirming that his private thoughts should be let out in the open.]

I don't want to disappear from his life in the first place.
I'm just-
Anytime I make a move it seems like the wrong one.

I haven't figured out how to do right by him.

text - un: ilikemeat

[velvet_teen]

I didn't read your personal business because it was so boring I fell asleep before I saw anything fun in it.

[ She's helping!! ]

[strikefirster]

Good!
It wasn't supposed to be fun.
Go eat some meat if you like it so much.

video: un; makes.it.count

[everyrosehasits]

[oh Johnny...at the same time, Mr. LaRusso's reaction to her praise of Johnny can be seen in a new light.

so she says earnestly] I believe in you. You're at the heart of it a good man. The letters you've written have proven that. If there's--well. If I can help in any way, I want to. Because I believe in you, I believe you're better than most of those in your life gave you credit for.

Something I've learned is that forgiveness is not a guarantee...but I hope that those in question do choose to forgive. For your own peace of mind.

However, if you'd like an intermediary, I'd offer my services as best I can. I've met most of the involved parties and I'd be willing to serve as your advocate.

[strikefirster]

[Yeah. Jeez. Johnny still isn't feeling the best that all of this is out in the open.]

I don't know if I agree with all of that. Except the forgiveness thing- I get that part pretty well.

Nah- I've already got someone mixed up in this more than I should. I shouldn't be asking to get more people involved with this.

text | un: deku | private

[wannasmash]

Sensei. Do you remember when I told you about All Might? He's the greatest Hero I've ever known, and no one questions his strength. I once saw him bow on his knees the way Paul-kun did, and he
He did it for someone he cares about very much.

I'll explain to you what it means. When a student makes a mistake, their sensei apologizes with them. Sometimes even for them. No matter what, you are with them. They're your responsibility.

You left Paul-kun to do it all alone.

This can't keep happening. After everything, Paul-kun and Robby-kun need the best you can give them. The worst thing you can do is leave them.

You don't get to run away again.

text | private

[strikefirster]

[It takes Johnny awhile to respond to this. He's had some time to stew over and think over a few of the mistakes he's made and he's still trying to muddle through the best way to go about it.

He's very much on the self deprecating side of this but he does get what Deku is saying.]

You're right, kid.
The thing is Paul shouldn't have been the one apologizing there in the first place.
It should have been me, and me alone taking responsibility for what I did.
Any of the blame that he think he has- Was all brought on by what I did there.

But you're right.
They were both my responsibility.
And I left them high and dry.

private text | un: sharpshooter

[azurestar]

putting aside the whole accidentally sending those letters to everyone in trench thing

that was an impressive thing you just did, dude
it was probably one of the strongest things you could do too
not weak at all

private.

[strikefirster]

Yeah.
It probably would have been stronger if I had meant to send them out in the first place.
Had my finger on the delete key the whole time.
Apparently it wasn't working today.