video; un: Dr. Disraeli

[delilahs_death]

[Appearing on screen is one Dr. Jezebel Disraeli, who looks thoroughly irritated. He also looks mildly disheveled and sickly, somehow appearing even thinner than his normal lanky appearance. Behind him, a large dog paces and whines, glancing at his owner all the while.]

So. I surely can't be the only person in this damned place who is completely unable to eat. Or eat food, rather.

If it's not the whole town, then I assume it is those who share my blood type, since that seems to determine everything around here. Vileblood, I believe I am called.

In any event: I believe I have stumbled upon a solution for those who might be afflicted.

[With pained grimace of a smile, he holds up a set of vials in his palm.]

Arsenic. Cyanide. Strychnine. All of which are deadly poisons, and all of which seem to be the only thing I can eat without wanting to promptly pass out on the spot. I imagine anyone else afflicted will be the same, since this does seem to be the sort of sick joke we would be afflicted with.

So, if anyone is in need of a poison or two, I suppose I can assist. I have a decent supply.

Before anyone asks: yes, I do have a lot of poisons.

Yes, I study poisons and made some of them myself.

No, I have not poisoned anyone in the town.

Although, believe me, I've been tempted.

Comments

[delilahs_death]

[Ohhhhhhh no. Oh dear. He had not considered the possibility of the children of this place being affected -- and, presumably, also needing poisoned food.

Jezebel is not a good man, not in any sense of the word, but even he finds himself blanching at the idea of handing arsenic to a child.]

...I see. Are you sure about that?

...and are there any adults nearby, perhaps?

[schoolingfish]

[After a bit of awkward fumbling, Luca manages to get his Omni back in hand and his face on screen, although it looks like he's propping himself up on his bed's headrest.]

Nope! I live in a kid only house, it's really fun!

...okay, there's one adult who lives here, but I never see him around. So it's all kids with no supervision! It's great!

[delilahs_death]

I see.

[Well, goddammit.]

Are you a Vileblood, then?

[Maybe the kid just coincidentally is acting like a very drunken child...]

[schoolingfish]

I am, yeah!

[delilahs_death]

[GODDAMMIT]

How funny. So am I.

How do you feel other than...'loopy', I suppose?

[Maybe the kid is just...fine...as he is? Maybe...?]

[schoolingfish]

Um...pretty much just loopy. Walking straight is hard. And my thinking's kind of fuzzy and stuff. And I sometimes get headaches when the weird feeling's wearing off or fall asleep if I eat too much.

[delilahs_death]

I see.

[Goddammit goddammit goddammit goddammit]

Do you...mind feeling loopy all the time?

[A beat, and then, because he has to stop beating around the bush:]

Do you want to stop feeling that way?

[schoolingfish]

Um...

[He thinks about it.]

It would be nice to be able to not feel loopy. But...eating poison is kind of scary.

[Even drunk him has some self preservation instinct, even if it's not necessarily helpful in this situation.]

I don't even know how you figured the poison thing out, because I'd have never thought to try that. But I guess it makes sense. Like...I think I'm poison now, so maybe that's why we have to eat poison.

[delilahs_death]

It is, isn't it.

If you have food around that's -- well, that smells bad and seems expired, that might do the trick. It's certainly a safer option.

[schoolingfish]

Oh! Yeah! That might work! I don't have any spoiled food right now, but I eat a lot of fish and that goes bad fast! Thanks!

[And he's definitely less afraid of taking a bit of spoiled fish to see what happens than chugging some arsenic.]

[delilahs_death]

Not at all. I am glad there seems to be a solution to this.

[And admittedly also RELIEVED]