deernet | Video: UN - Runeseeker

[Vira-Lorr was not doing well. On the surface, it wasn't going to be obvious. The omni showed her on the shoreline of Trench, bundled up and watching out to the iceflows of the winter. There were, in the background, greeters tending to the last steps of the arrivals. The beasts from the ocean weren't breaking out of the ice right now, and it was past the usual time for sleepers to wash up, so the winter festivities were being closed up. Everything was safe. She just looked like she was finishing up a vigil. Anyone who knew her knew that she did this every month. She was usually waiting for a few people in particular. She just ... didn't publicize it like this.

Her eyes were rimmed red. It was clear that she'd been crying, but she wasn't doing it currently. Instead, she was smiling, though it was a distant and pained thing. One hand reached up to rest on her shoulder, to feel where the mark had been placed.]

I... don't need to tell some of you this. You will know. You always do. This is for other people in town who might care.

[Usagi would know. She didn't name Serenity, but she knew that she would know that a Senshi had departed, and if she knew then Makoto and Hotaru would know very quickly afterwards. Either by connection, or being told. This message wasn't specifically to tell them that Venus had gone home, though she would appreciate hearing from her friends. It was for the ones who weren't connected like they had been, like she had been.]

My wife, Minako Aino, is fine. She has safely returned to the sea. I felt the distance as it progressed, and ... I know that nothing caught her amongst the monsters below. She's safe. She will be safe in her home. I ... I want all of you who care about her to be certain of that.

[Her lips quivered a little and she sighed. She'd dealt with this before. How many people had she lost since the nightmares? How many had she tried to love? To get close to? Only to lose them too. She'd lost Minako twice now this way. She could handle it. Yet, this time was different. In so many ways it was different because deep down, she knew there was a chance Minako did not remember her where she was going. Usagi, Makoto, Hotaru, they would be reunited one day, but they might all forget her. It hurt.]

I'm fin... no, I'm not. I'm not going to lie. I'm not fine. My wife is gone, and I will come back every month to see if she returns to me, to us. I'm a patient woman. People have come back to me before. I have centuries to wait. My race gives me that luxury. but today hurts. A lot.

[There was a momentary pause and she sighed.]

I could probably use some company over the next few days. I'll be running the shop to help get my mind off of it, so if you need a reading, I just won't be a hundred percent is all. I've been very moody lately. Not sure why, but this is not helping.

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I've... had too much of breaking things myself. I think I handled this coping a lot worse in the nightmare, though I didn't publicize it much. Time has helped, even if I wish it hadn't. After all, it helps because we've both lost so much.

That saying about how time heals all wounds is incorrect. Some wounds simply do not heal. But it does help lessen them a little bit, day by day, until one day the pain doesn't completely overwhelm you anymore.

Well... scar tissue is a healing of sorts, but there's always the ache beneath. It never fully heals, like you said. I know that. [She shook her head.] And this will scar up eventually.

It may take a while, though I still have coping mechanisms that aren't awful.

If you need me for anything, anything at all, you need only ask. You have been there in many times of need for me and now I shall do the same for you.

[Vira-Lorr has been a mentor and friend for Maul during their time together in both Deerington and Trench. He knows he has the tendency to take far more than he gives to those around him but he's trying to rectify that as of late.]

I... appreciate it, Maul. You have no idea how much I do.

[Honestly, she'd think back to the fact that he'd offered in this time and take a certain sad pleasure. It was a sign he was improving as a person that he'd go out of his way in this particular fashion for others.]

I have several coming over, so i won't be alone, but I may want to meet and talk. Your perspective is unique in its own way. I'm just having to process all this right now. At once.

It is a lot to take in.

[He agreed softly. Were it anyone else besides Vira-Lorr, he'd likely think they would already be overwhelmed and breaking down from this. Her immense age and wisdom seemed to be helping to cushion that one but he still wouldn't have put it past her to break down in private later on.]

It... really is. Even though this has happened before with her? It's more than I was prepared for. We hadn't been as far in our relationship before.

And... I think the bond made it hurt even more. It gave me an assurance, but at the same time? It also felt like something in me just stopped.

I think that was your heart.

[Maul said in a gentle tone. He could only imagine what would have happened if it had been Reaper who had gone back to the sea. That was what would have happened to him.]

It's almost a little poetic that you put it that way, but my actual heart did skip more than a few beats. The severing of the bond was ... physical in a way.

[She gripped her forehead.]

But you understand what I mean. I know you do. It's an icy sensation in the depths of the soul.

How you're still doing this well after such a thing happening to you is astounding.

[The fact she wasn't curled up somewhere in a ball crying her eyes out as Maul figured would have been a natural response in such a situation was a testament to Vira-Lorr's strength.]

Let's be very honest. I didn't allow any of you to see my first reactions.

Even I am a victim of desired perceptions.

[She'd taken an hour to compose herself even after fixing her ability to handle replies...]

Yes, I don't think there's any of us who like to break down and be seen as weak in public.

[Maul could barely do that even with his closest family and friends. He never allowed the Sleepers as a whole to see him as anything other than the psychopathic terror he'd cultivated a reputation as being.]

I think some might use it for a cry for help... I couldn't even fault them for it. they need the companionship of others in that moment. I could appreciate that.

But as you said? For some of us, we can't stand to do that in public. It feels... I am not weak for being in love and hurt. You understand that as much as I do.

Yes, I have learned that well enough.

[Being with Reaper had been the best thing to ever happen to Maul, at least when it came to finally experience the warmth of romantic love after he'd been left so cold for most of his life.]

[she nodded. Yeah, she knew exactly who he might have been thinking of. The two of them had been through a hell of a lot.]

I think I would use the word 'exposed.' I feel exposed and raw in such a public situation.

If ever there was a way to feel one's nerve endings being on display for all to see without the physical action actually occurring, it is such a situation as this.

Yes, I think that would be a very accurate statement. The rawness is still there, even if I've controlled some of the narrative. I can't make that go away, and it will be like that for a while.

Then I shall be here as long as you need me to be. And I know so will all of your other friends.

Thank you, Maul. I mean it. Thank you. I am going to meet with someone, but I will speak with you later.

Video: UN - Runeseeker

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