video | un: warden (this post is about romance novels)

[megatheorem]

[Good day, Trench, and welcome to... whatever this is going to be. Here is one Palamedes, sitting at his desk in what may be broadly recognizable as his office in the Sanctuary, whether or not one has been in it before (it has, these days, a distressing worm-on-a-string curtain in place of a door). Palamedes shuffles through some papers, tsks, and gets up to simply walk off screen, although this is not an accidental post, for he does call back:]

Damn my filing system! Hold on, don't look away.

[So now: the sounds of shuffling, and also, footsteps on a ladder? Then the eventual soft thump as he hops back down, and finally his several layered cardigans masquerading as a torso coming back into view, before he sits back down in the chair with a hearty squeak of rusty metal.

He has even more papers now. A small pile of notebooks, actually, which he folds his hands atop before properly regarding the camera.]

So! I wrote a book. Are any of you in the publishing business? Here, locally, or otherwise? My wheelhouse is firmly the academic, and literature— while a passion project— is a field I know far less about. As such: publishing. Any tips welcome.

I am also in the market for some cover art, I think. My artistic talents leave a lot to be desired, but I've produced some helpful mock-ups, somewhere around here...

[Just kidding they're right here ready and waiting, and so he holds them up side by side:



...So, yes. His handwriting is, of course, perfectly legible.]

Like I said: I'm an academic, not an artist. I'll pay you in whatever you like, blood or stone or- [and he leans briefly off camera again, to mutter, then he's back] -or scones! Good ones, for people into that kind of thing.

[Yahoo... Draw him a horny squidmance cover page... This is ordinary.]

Obviously, children need not apply.

Oh, and the working title is Ceasefire of the Senses: A Treatise on the Juxtaposition of Passion and Reason, unless you happen to be my cruelest critic and dearest spouse, love of my life, in which case "that title is ridiculous" and it's actually called "that story in your fifty notebooks." Regardless.

[He pats the pile of notebooks, like, his title is good actually? This might be a thinly veiled opinion poll about the title.]

And as it's the season, again, if anyone needs a professional hand with their lockjoint, come down to the Lumenarium- or Sanctuary- and ask for Palamedes. I'll take care of it with a silk touch; you get to keep the stones. Drawings of squids entirely voluntary for that one.

Comments

private

[mehanizovati]

Obviously.

[yup, this is why they're friends really. they're well adjusted people about vulnerability.] In truth it's never been a priority for me before. The whole process of typical dating baffles me, the courting song and dance, the rules of it. 'Out of nowhere' seems the most appealing option.

[hearuthinking]

That's the point.

Just anything that the person might like. I got somethin' for Viktor already. You wrap whatever it is up, put it in a box or somethin' so it's more of a mystery what the gift is, and you leave it under the tree until Christmas morning.

[megatheorem]

[Only if his literary career kicks off-!!]

Fair point. It's been— busy? I'm now officially allowed to put 'replaced two whole lungs at once' in my work history. Got lost in the woods later on, you know how it goes.

[But oh, Kainé— sounds like that conflict resolved itself, which he is privately pleased to hear but he won't push about it here in this public post. He does smile a little, though.]

I don't know enough about music to say much, but - I'm happy for you. How was the show?

private

[hearuthinking]

I donno, I wouldn't mind a little song and dance.

[megatheorem]

[Stop, he's going to have feelings about being called dad so blatantly... That makes him laugh, anyway, shrugging and waving a hand like, listen... This is what Nico has chosen.]

I deserve that hit. Anyway, it's usually... older. I mean, not for me, but I was Master Warden at thirteen, so I'm a poor metric to use for anything like that. Rough estimate, I'd say most of our Scholars are about nineteen, twenty... It's one of the lowest-ranked titles you have to test into.

[What did he get from mama: nerd stuff.]

Recipes? You know I'm useless in the kitchen, but we could try to make some, if you want.

[megatheorem]

Oh, I know about that— guy? Christ. I've been briefly taught, anyway. I didn't know there was a holiday.

I'll start making a list, I suppose.

[wannasmash]

[ Oppai lives on in infamy in his mind now. ]

Oh! Like comics! I didn't know how realistic you were wanting to be.

[ This is an honest observation. He's not an art critic. Palamedes has seen that their art skills are... about the same level. ]

About the title... It's a little long...

[megatheorem]

[This is only encouraging him, thanks bunches, xoxo. Palamedes hums with awful, saccharine contentment, nudging Viktor into place so that he can lean his elbow on the desk next to him and wiggle his other arm around him. Hi, again. Party time...]

You're soft. [(affectionate)] I'll fold you whatever you need; surely there's some recommendations on the network for the appropriate shapes. If nothing else, I'm not half bad at those tiny stars, lately.

[There may be tiny paper stars in random locations all over this office, because he can't stop moving his hands or his brain stops working.]

That aside: what gift would you like?

[umbraportation]

[ Might as well get used to it, because it'll probably happen again in the future. It is sure what he's chosen, to have these nerdy dads. ]

I'm used to it. [ His boyfriend likes to be a little nerdy and cheesy, too. ]

Huh, so it's kind of like graduating from High School. Since college means a higher degree of education that branches into various fields of specialities.

[ A nod of his head. ]

Various varieties of pasta dishes, mostly. I've been getting cooking lessons since I got here, so we could probably manage to not burn the kitchen down. We'd have to make them at your place or the Sanctuary, there isn't really a kitchen at mine.

[fogsong]

I thought it seemed a little pervy for a book cover with a title like that but... [ she shrugs. who is she to judge? different strokes for different folks and all that jazz. ]

Eh, it doesn't bother me any. I've never painted anything through a romantic lens, most of my shit is darker and personal, I guess, but you don't grow without experimenting a little.

I assume you want to see some of my work first, yeah? [ she might not be the kind of artist he's looking for and she doesn't want to get his hopes up ]

[megatheorem]

[Well, there's no oppai in this book, but maybe next time.]

Well, I'd have to judge various art styles, if enough people are interested in drawing something for me... So far I've gotten tentative curiosity, which I think is a good sign.

It's descriptive. The title. What would you suggest?

[hearuthinking]

Yep, it's a popular winter holiday where I come from. There are all kinds of traditions about it, but those are usually pretty specific to cultures and families.

Oh, and there are the special holiday sweaters. I forgot to tell Viktor about them. Not sure if we can get anything like 'em around here.

[hauntedsavior]

The show was good! I've known she can sing for a while now, and I'm really glad she felt confident enough to show other people.
It's totally gonna embarrass her if she sees this, but I missed a few cues 'cause I was distracted looking at her having the time of her life up there.

Two lungs at once, though, dude? Fuck. Hope it was for, uh, good reasons? I guess? Man.
It wasn't 2B's lungs, was it? Is my little sister going around collecting other body parts to go with her heart without telling me?
(That's mostly a joke.)

text (un: aquila)

[grice]

[ . . . oh . . . passion. and reason . . . . . . . . ]

Is this a romance, Mister Palamedes?

permavid

[megatheorem]

[FALCO NO... don't look at his sinful ways......]

It is, yes. And also kind of an academic study.

[wannasmash]

[ Midoriya is probably not the target audience for this novel, so he may never truly know for sure if oppai will surface... ]

M-Me? I title my school essays and my own notes like... that. But this isn't an essay, right?

[ Just making sure!! ]

[grice]

Can I read it?

[megatheorem]

Unfortunately, no. Maybe when you're older.

[necroprince]

[She blinks in surprise. Then amusement.]

Oh my, you don't remember?

Well, I suppose I'll give you this one for free. The body that once belonged to Camilla Hect.

Anything else we'll have to trade.

1/2

[megatheorem]

[Oh. Okay.]

Alright. Give me a minute.

[Mostly so he can go Scream, because that answers a lot of questions he was simply not asking after Camilla disappeared from Trench in fucking February!!, mostly due to not having any productive avenues to pursue with the information here in this place.

So give him a minute.]

[megatheorem]

[Anyway, he takes ten minutes.]

Well, you're right about the upgrade, but keep it respectful when you talk about my cavalier. [don't Horny at him, ma'am, he can't handle This Tridentarius being horny about cam] Assuming the rest of what you have is absolutely vital for me to know: what constitutes a fair trade, to you?

[megatheorem]

I don't mind a special holiday sweater, I think. What's special about them? Special enough to ask Sansa to help us out?

[megatheorem]

Broadly, it's both an essay and a novel. It's experimental.

[Or: he thinks academic papers are super sexy, or both things are true!! Sorry, Midoriya.]

[megatheorem]

With respect, Anna, to both you and she: that's so fucking cute it's going to knock me out.

[This he delivers with the utmost serious, because it's seriously true. Check out these ladies and their supreme talent and their high tier affection... gosh.]

That said: no, they were Viktor's. He helped; there's video. [of course there's video. don't. don't judge.] Should I keep an eye out for your sister pulling an organ donation scam...?

[megatheorem]

Some people like the title.

["Some people" is Palamedes, more or less. Isn't that what counts. But anyway, oh, she's actually interested? Nice pull.]

I don't mind a little experimental; I'm starting to think the target demographic for this thing is just me, after all, so it's me who has the final say. That, and I'm due for a bit of art appreciation, in general.

Which is to say, yes, I'd love to see your work.