deernet | un: trienemybest; video

[The video feed opens in Varian's creepy basement lab where health and safety regulations go to die. The boy himself isn't looking that great, his skin has a grey-ish tinge to it and he looks more exhausted than usual. But that's fine, he's fine. He turns the camera around to take in some sapphires on his workbench. Some are soaking in various chemical substances, some are under a microscope, some are in various steampunk-y machines: it's clear some testing has been going on. ]

So, Flynn was kind enough to give me some of the crystals that grew on his corpse during...whatever weird new thing death is here. [He doesn't sound as excited about this as his usual projects and anyone who knows about his deeply unfortunate past will know why.] I have experience in creepy, magical death rocks -no...no I'm not going to elaborate on that- so I decided to study them. They seem to be crystalising the actual cells of the body- so not just a separate coating. I also found traces of warmblood within the crystals themselves, which I think is what Flynn is? A-anyway, it seems they're working on a cellular level, like they're what jumpstarts the reversal of the cell degeneration after death- so- so it's possible they're what reverses then entire process.

Anyway, moral of the story is, they're probably super important in resurrecting people so maybe don't mess with the process when it's happening? Of course, without having any other samples to compare this to, it's all conjecture right now.

[A beat, he turns the camera back to himself, grimacing.]

Sorry, I forgot who I was talking to. Please don't take that as encouragement to get yourselves killed in the name of science.

[Another beat, then he waves a hand airily.]

Thaaaaaat said, this is October, so statistically, there's a high chance that a not-insignificant portion of the population will be dead by the end of the month. So...if you wanna donate your death crystals for science then, that would be less...morally grey. Probably? Probably.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh yeah, you don't have to worry. I made it when I was fourteen. I've pretty much mastered it by now, it's completely safe.

[A beat.]

It only explodes like... 20% of the time now!

[Some might think that this is 20% too much, but Varian is not one of those people.]

[...uh huh...]

How bad is the explosion, then?

...Like on a scale of one to ten?

[Be afraid, Manabu.]

[he is. and yet:] ...Like...maybe describe what the last explosion entailed?

With Flynnolium? Hmmm, well, I do use it as an explosive to protect myself from monsters - so this was a purposeful one. It was about an eight, eight and a half? I used it on a monster when I got dragged to Gate. It put a hole in it?

...The monster. Not. Not Gate.

[...]

...I really hope you're not keeping that kind of stuff on you. Where it can potentially blow a hole in you? Or other people...

Oh, of course, I have it on me- like I said, it's a great defensive weapon! And you never know when something might try to kill you here.

[He'll just pull a little glass ball from his rucksack with worrying bright green liquid sloshing around inside it.]

See?

[Welcome to Being an Adult in Varian's Life, Manabu. Welcome. ]

[without him knowing it, the spirits of all his worldweary, exasperated friends and family members are all leaning into this conversation and willing the notion of "see what it feels like" into this universe.

for now, Manabu just knows he's got a general Bad Feeling.]

That...looks extremely breakable, Varian.

[It's sure not fun being on this side of proceedings, is it buddy? Varian snorts lightly.]

Oh, it's fine. So long as I don't smack it hard against anything it won't go off. It's perfectly safe.

[He's judging this on the fact it hasn't gone off on him yet which is a terrible way of judging anything that can blow a hole in the back of your skull but here they are. ]

Right...or get punched, or fall in a certain way...

[He snorts lightly. ]

Well, I'm not planning on getting punched any time soon.

[Honestly, it's a miracle no one has punched him yet. ]

No one plans on getting punched, you know...!

[trust him! he gets punched on the regular! all unplanned!]

Of course, they do! What about boxers?

[Varian >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> the point.]

You're not a boxer, Varian!

I know, that, that's why I don't plan on being punched.

[Flawless logic!!]

It's not something you-!! [WAIT...deja vu??

he huffs.] Right...okay. Just. Maybe...take it from an SDF officer? That...explosive agents need a bit more than some glass between you and your organs. Okay?

[Manabu doesn't deserve this. He absolutely doesn't deserve this.]

Awww, I'm sure it's fine. I mean, I've been using these for years and I haven't exploded yet!

[Y E T]

[withered:] R-right...I don't know, Varian, still sounds like you're pressing your luck, if it's that dangerous? So I'll just say...seems like you could come up with a more secure way to carry that kinda stuff. You know.

[He looks down at this bomb again, grimacing like a teenager who's been told to tidy his room instead of trying to prevent his own skull from being blown off one day. ]

Well, I guess I could work on the structural stability of the bombs. Maybe add a trigger mechanism to them for when I want them to go off.

That's pretty standard for most explosives where I'm from. Even the weakest guns have safeties, you know?

Sure, if you want to play it safe.

[Safe is better than dead, child. Still, he knows this does make sense, and he does enjoy adding stuff to his inventions.]

Though it WOULD be interesting to see what I could come up with.

I mean, I wouldn't mind seeing it myself, you know? That kind of mechanism could have applications in a lot of places, I bet...

[yes good, instill safety compliance slowly...]

[That's a great way of catching him out, Manabu. He can always be nudged into doing something for someone else's benefit.]

Hmmmm, that's a really good point. Especially here- I've been trading my alchemy bombs, making them safer would probably be better for the...the population at large?

[sorry what. how old is this kid. what. trading bombs.]

Definitely. I mean, even if you're the most careful with your stuff, that sorta thing doesn't get passed along as well, right?

[Seventeen! But he's been doing this since he was like...five so that's probably little comfort. Sorry, Manabu, you've adopted a tiny disaster boy. ]

I suppose I should factor in inexperienced handlers- I wouldn't want anyone to accidentally blow their hand off.

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