deernet | un: trienemybest; video

[The video feed opens in Varian's creepy basement lab where health and safety regulations go to die. The boy himself isn't looking that great, his skin has a grey-ish tinge to it and he looks more exhausted than usual. But that's fine, he's fine. He turns the camera around to take in some sapphires on his workbench. Some are soaking in various chemical substances, some are under a microscope, some are in various steampunk-y machines: it's clear some testing has been going on. ]

So, Flynn was kind enough to give me some of the crystals that grew on his corpse during...whatever weird new thing death is here. [He doesn't sound as excited about this as his usual projects and anyone who knows about his deeply unfortunate past will know why.] I have experience in creepy, magical death rocks -no...no I'm not going to elaborate on that- so I decided to study them. They seem to be crystalising the actual cells of the body- so not just a separate coating. I also found traces of warmblood within the crystals themselves, which I think is what Flynn is? A-anyway, it seems they're working on a cellular level, like they're what jumpstarts the reversal of the cell degeneration after death- so- so it's possible they're what reverses then entire process.

Anyway, moral of the story is, they're probably super important in resurrecting people so maybe don't mess with the process when it's happening? Of course, without having any other samples to compare this to, it's all conjecture right now.

[A beat, he turns the camera back to himself, grimacing.]

Sorry, I forgot who I was talking to. Please don't take that as encouragement to get yourselves killed in the name of science.

[Another beat, then he waves a hand airily.]

Thaaaaaat said, this is October, so statistically, there's a high chance that a not-insignificant portion of the population will be dead by the end of the month. So...if you wanna donate your death crystals for science then, that would be less...morally grey. Probably? Probably.

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[It's a lot to take in. A lot. Shiro's silent for a long time, the little cursor flashing - he's still here. He's choosing his words.]

All right. So... What can that tell us about these crystals?

[It's not the answer Varian expects, probably. It's not even the answer he really wants to give. What he wants to do is sit this kid down, look him in the eye and make him repeat part of the last statement.]

[You know that now]

[And nothing he's seen from Varian yet proves otherwise. Heck, this post itself proves it. Using a bad experience for the better of the rest of the network.]

[May as well give Varian a chance to use it.]

[There's so much, and there's a little hesitation on Varian's part before he types back:]

There's... a little more too. To that story? Not much more but- yeah.

[They've got through the worst at least. Shiro is back to business and Varian's not sure how to deal with that. His usual sea of self-loathing is rising in his head and he's terrified the truth has done damage between him and Shiro. He sucks in a breath just... trying to focus on the task at hand.]

That they seem to be very organic - and they definitely play a major role in the resurrection process? Like...interfering with them while they're on someone's body would probably be a bad idea.

Do you want tell me?

[It's an out. For Varian, it's an out. Just in case he doesn't want to talk about this anymore, just in case he wants to leave it there and keep going. Because... well. Shiro does understand wanting to leave certain things where they lay.]

I'm not going to make you talk if you're not ready for it. If you think I need to know, though, I'll listen. You said you knew better, now. That's Honestly, Varian, that's what I care about. What you're doing now. How you're living now, what you're trying to do. That's what's important as far as I'm concerned. And that's why I want to hear what you have to say about these crystals more. You're helping people, here. But again - if you need to finish, I'll listen.

Yes. I do. You deserve to know. I've wanted to tell you for a while.

[He's been afraid of doing it- Shiro's such a decent person- but hearing what he has to say about the subject does ease those worries a little. After all, Shiro's already hear the worst of it- hard to top attempted murder, after all. Except for literal murder, which Varian thankful never got to.]

I do know better now. And I've been doing my best to help people for a long time now. To...even out the score, I guess. But I don't want to ignore what got me here, either. That wouldn't be fair to the people I hurt.

Okay then. I'm listening.

[You know, metaphorically.]

[There will be a time and a place to process this. To go over it and work through it. He needs to do that privately - where Varian wasn't waiting on his responses, wasn't liable to be hurt by any pause.]

You're doing fine, Varian. You've been doing fine since I met you. I get what you're saying, I do. I ... just want you to know how I see it.

[It's a lot to take in, Varian's...aware of that. It's a full-on-deluge of bad things and it's not easy to understand. To accept. He knows people need time to deal with it. Shiro's reassurance does help, though. As much as he's not sure he deserves it.]

...Thank you. I appreciate that.

[He really does. Shiro... well, Shiro and Adam are the closest things he's had to actual father figures since he got here. No replacement for his actual father, of course- but...people he desperately doesn't want to disappoint either. ]

Okay. So. I didn't manage to kill anyone, thankfully. Rapunzel figured out a connection to the black rocks in time to stop me. I got sent to prison for a year, and while Rapunzel was following the path the black rocks led, I broke out with a group of other people and took over the kingdom with them. I helped them wipe the king and queen's memories, and ran the kingdom with them as puppets. I wanted to wipe everyone's memories- make them forget everything I'd done. Which was so stupid, but I was desperate. I made the people of the kingdom work in the mines, to gather the materials I needed for the potion.

[He ran a slave state, basically. The people held that against him for a long, long time- he's sure some of them still do, and he honestly can't blame them for a second. ]

Rapunzel came back and the group I was with revealed that they were planning on using the chemicals I created as a bomb instead. They were gonna destroy the entire city, with everyone inside of it. That... it was a line I couldn't cross. I didn't want anyone to be hurt. So I helped Rapunzel stop them, and she used the powers she'd gained away to free my dad. So I spent the rest of my time I had back home trying to make things better again, to make up for everything I'd done, you know? Put some good back from all the bad I'd put into the world.

[Which should offer some solid explanation as to why Varian so tirelessly tries to help people here. H feels like he has a debt to the universe he's not sure he can ever really clear. ]

un: trienemybest; video

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