deernet | un: trienemybest; video

[The video feed opens in Varian's creepy basement lab where health and safety regulations go to die. The boy himself isn't looking that great, his skin has a grey-ish tinge to it and he looks more exhausted than usual. But that's fine, he's fine. He turns the camera around to take in some sapphires on his workbench. Some are soaking in various chemical substances, some are under a microscope, some are in various steampunk-y machines: it's clear some testing has been going on. ]

So, Flynn was kind enough to give me some of the crystals that grew on his corpse during...whatever weird new thing death is here. [He doesn't sound as excited about this as his usual projects and anyone who knows about his deeply unfortunate past will know why.] I have experience in creepy, magical death rocks -no...no I'm not going to elaborate on that- so I decided to study them. They seem to be crystalising the actual cells of the body- so not just a separate coating. I also found traces of warmblood within the crystals themselves, which I think is what Flynn is? A-anyway, it seems they're working on a cellular level, like they're what jumpstarts the reversal of the cell degeneration after death- so- so it's possible they're what reverses then entire process.

Anyway, moral of the story is, they're probably super important in resurrecting people so maybe don't mess with the process when it's happening? Of course, without having any other samples to compare this to, it's all conjecture right now.

[A beat, he turns the camera back to himself, grimacing.]

Sorry, I forgot who I was talking to. Please don't take that as encouragement to get yourselves killed in the name of science.

[Another beat, then he waves a hand airily.]

Thaaaaaat said, this is October, so statistically, there's a high chance that a not-insignificant portion of the population will be dead by the end of the month. So...if you wanna donate your death crystals for science then, that would be less...morally grey. Probably? Probably.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh yeah! We used eggshells back home, for the farms. You know, I bet seaweed would be a good choice too.

Y-yes. It um. It would be.

And it's good. For snacks.

You know, I've never really eaten it before? What does it taste like?

[There is a lengthy... lengthy pause.]

Green.

And salt.

...

...

I don't think I know what green is as a flavour.

Like um.

Like... leaves. But not good leaves? Or lettuce. Just - like when you bite into a tree leaf.

[Melius why the fuck do you know that.]

[Just. The longest silence.]

Very informative. I feel very informed. So. Like biting a tree leaf? I...don't do that generally, but I'll bear it in mind.

But - it's -

It's not that weird. It's kind um.

Green tastes good. Really. You um. You could try. Tasting... green...

[Is Varian blushing? It's sure starting to look like he's blushing. It's his own fault, he only has himself to blame here. He dug this hole for himself and now he has to lie in it. He might not go about biting leaves but he sure goes about kissing one (1) boy made of grass who is definitely green and he's steadily realising just how awkward he's made this for himself. ]

H....ah. Right. Rightrightright. GreEn tastes good. Thanks for um. Telling me.

...

About green.

[He's got this! This is a totally flawless interaction that two normal people would have. ]

...Tasting good.

[Fuckin' nailed it.]

[Melius Senyan is 10000% oblivious. He is only concerned about potentially alienating a very good friend with his weirdness.]

[Clearly the only option here is to double the fuck down on chewing on green things.]

Yes! Yes, it does it's um. It's good for you!

To um. Taste green.

So um. Keep. Doing that.

[Oh good. Oh great. Meli is just...doubling down this is fine. A nervous laugh bubbles out of Varian as teenage mortification well and truly starts to set in.

Is he going to die? Is this how he dies his first death in Trench? Maybe!]

YEP! [Oh wow, okay that was LOUD.] That's- that's definitely a thing that I hear! That... tasting green is good for you.

[Oh god stop talking, stop talking, stop talking.]

So yes. I will... I will definitely keep doing that. Because it's good.

Yes! [Oh look, they can both be loud. Except, in this case, he's just trying to match Varian. Look, they can both yell!] Yes! It is good to taste green!

Good um. I'm. Glad you're doing that.

For health. Reasons.

[Oh god, oh no, this is getting loud. He laughs, very loud and very nervously. Please let him die. ]

Y-yeeeah. I uh. Hear that is good for...my health? Probably?

Y-yes. Um. There was... um. Oh!

Green drinks! In the other town! And - and everyone said. They were good. You could um. Drink green.

[What is he even talking about at this point.]

[Somehow, this is worse. But maybe he can...steer this away from Awkward Town, maybe!]

Like... absinthe? That's... that's green. And a drink.

N-no. Um. I think. They said... smoothie?

Green milk?

Oh. I've never heard of a smoothie before. Or...green milk?

[This is concerning.]

I wouldn't think green milk would be safe to eat. Uh. For a human.

I um. I think it's just... milk with green in it?

I don't know.

It's uh. Weird.

...That sounds so gross. The future's so weird, Meli.

They... say it's good for you though?

Blegh, sounds like the worst sort of green to eat really. Or...drink, I guess.

[Varian don't cycle back to this you know you're gonna dig yourself a bigger hole.]

M-maybe it's not... that bad? If you try it?

I guess, but I still bet you anything it's gross.

But... if green tastes good.

And. Milk is good.

Green milk should be good.

[...]

Yeah, okay you got me there. Can't fault that logic.

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