deernet | Video; un: darkness

[Maul was sitting outside on his roof, the snow softly coming down around him, hood up so they didn't land on his head. There was a soft, contemplative look on his face that he didn't often wear. For those that knew Maul, they'd realize there was one big change. His eyes, which had constantly been a golden color before, were now instead a grey-brown.

Next to him, looking perfectly fine with this cold weather due to the fur that made him little more than a ball of fluff, was his Mankey, named rather fittingly Cranky. Though Maul seemed unaware of it, the Pokémon was imitating his master in body language perfectly right now, sitting down with his arms folded and staring off into the distance. Mankey see, Mankey do and all that.

There was a long pause before he began the video. He was woolgathering and trying to put everything together, saying it in just the right way.]

For anyone I teach, classes will commence again now that I am back. [There was a pause.] In case you were unaware, I made a long journey to my home galaxy for about three years, though I understand I was only gone for about a week here. I had....quite the experience just before I came back with the Dark Side of the Force. I had to face a great many things about myself and learn some hard truths. But while I could not accept what it had to offer me then, I think I am ready to now. To let go of the past, to put some of my pain behind me, to gain more power than I ever thought I could.

[Always with the search of power. He couldn't help it, such a thing was ingrained into him by now.]

It taught me to let go of fear and pain and instead learn to care about others, to keep anger close, but never to let it turn self-destructive. Things many of you have told me here but which I did not want to listen to. But who am I to deny it when the Force itself tells me such things? [There was a soft laugh.] Well, I have returned and don't plan to go anywhere, much to the misfortune of some of you.....But this has proven an interesting experience, one I shall take heed of going forward.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yes and yes. I had an experience recently which forced me to have some long-overdue revelations.

Win/win. I'd shout for joy, but I can't help the bad feeling in my gut [ In a manner of speaking since Murderbot lacks a digestive system. ] that you may have experienced some shit to reach that conclusion.

You would be correct. It was time for this to happen, far overdue really, but it was not an easy process to go through. I was put through the emotional wringer as it were.

The most effective and shittiest way to learn.

That's why I tried to talk about it with you before, so you could skip the shitty parts.

I am stubborn and sometimes I need to experience things for myself for the lesson to sink in.

[It was how he'd learned everything growing up.]

Most people are. Trouble is people don't always survive the experience or it's so awful the lesson isn't worth shit anymore.

I couldn't take it in even at the time I learned it back in my own galaxy. I wasn't ready for it there. But here, in this place, knowing what I already do? I am able to acknowledge what the Dark Side was trying to teach me.

Wow. I'm honestly impressed. Curious to see how this changes things up at Book Club.

I'm sure I'll be able to come up with some interesting new theories for the books that are put forth.

I'd also be interested in any new thoughts you have on the books that we've already discussed.

I'll have to do a reread. They're not as fresh as they once were after three years time.

Valid point. We can do a two person re-book group whenever you finish one. Send me a message or say hi at the Feed.

Is there anything else you'll take another look at with fresh eyes?

Perhaps I shall see new things in How The Grinch Stole Christmas.

[Only Maul could write that with a completely serious tone.]

I won't be so quick to kill people. I had already been doing better but now I understand more of the ramifications that come with causing people that kind of pain.

I look forward to reading about it. The best books keep giving us more when we go back and reread them. Only here do you get to skip the years part, at least as far as the rest of us go.

[ Murderbot can write that with a completely serious tone. ]

That's a big change. I'm... impressed.

Time is a loose concept as I have come to learn.

[That lesson had started when he first met the Doctor and had continued with his studies here.]

It took meeting with someone from my past who I killed to help teach me that lesson.

That statement is the opposite of reassuring.

... How? Did they kill you back???

No. He was far too noble and good of a Jedi to do that. Instead, he spoke to me, explaining things I had long refused to learn. He gave me a choice to become better than I had always been. I couldn't understand it then, but once I came back here, I finally was able to comprehend what he was trying to tell me.

I regret killing him now.

Guess he's better than I am. If you'd killed me, dumb cycle of violence or not, I probably wouldn't go for a cup of tea and conversation.

He sounds less than dead?

That makes you no better or worse than most people.

It is quite possible he was one with the Force and able to move from being completely intangible to something closer as a spirit that could be seen in the physical world.

Thankfully, I'm not aiming to be better or worse than most people.

... Still getting used to things like that that being a real ass thing that happens.

You're completely average from what I've seen.

But of course. From what I understand, the galaxy I come from is often strange to others.

Thank you.

How often do you run into things from other universes you think strange?

Quite often. Every universe follows rules I'm not used to.

Video; un: darkness

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