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video; un: shiro

[Local man sits at his kitchen table, arms folded and a coffee mug in front of him. He looks... worried. Concerned. And is clearly preparing for a Speech.]

My name is Shiro.

I'm one of the Sleepers who came here from Deerington, the dream world. I don't actually know how many of you out there are in the same boat anymore, so... with a choice like we've been given, I don't know how many of you remember the last time we had one like it.

[He means the vote that ended the dream.]

That vote ended with Julia Sodder's death.

I want to think it's because a lot of us didn't fully understand the consequences. I want to think it was because a lot of people were hurt, afraid, and thought they were doing the right thing. Or they just wanted to protect the people they knew. Regardless, Julia Sodder died. The people she'd brought into her world to save her... they let her down.

[Deep breaths Shiro, because it really sounds like you were trying to say I let her down, there. He folds his hands, and props his chin up in them.]

You can probably see where I'm going with this.

I'm not saying don't give this Pthumerian your opinion. At this point, inaction is probably the worst idea we've got. These beings - they're a part of this world whether we like it or not. They have been for longer than we can probably realize. [He grimaces.] Aside from one...

[Friggin Mother Mercy/Superior.]

We should be careful, I think, to do anything that cuts them off from their world. Even if we think it might help the people we care about. Protect them. We could end up doing something we really regret.

[There's a long pause, Shiro debating his next words.]

Like always, I'm open to explaining anything to people who have no idea where I'm coming from. I'm more than happy to talk about what happened in Deerington. The way I see it, maybe that will help us understand this world.

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That's something...

[Deep breaths. An exhale. He's honestly, sincerely relieved to hear it. And, yeah, he gets that. He gets not being "all right" after something like that. How could you be? He wasn't. And he hadn't dragged Adam into it.]

I'm glad you're back. [She doesn't sound good. This is Ange, and this kind of emotion in her voice is worrying.] Can I do anything for either of you?

[Forget the vote, forget this whole matter - he has friends to try and check in on.]

[ Ange slowly exhales.

.. doing something for her, huh? She knows she doesn't deserve it, instantly denies the very possibility of it in her mind. If it wasn't for her, none of this would have happened. So if she doesn't deserve it, then.. ]

Ruby needs help.

[ Her tone is still off. Not in a corrupted sort of way, but it's just-- heavy. It's clear all of this is weighing on Ange's mind very heavily. She's so stuck with her own guilt that she doesn't even think about the time when it was Shiro who was corrupted, when she didn't blame him for anything afterwards either. ]

She's feeling really bad about all of this. [ Sure, maybe this is snitching on Ruby a little, but Ruby really does need help. And Ange trusts Shiro. ]

Okay.

What can I do?

[Maybe it'll click, the more he keeps talking. That he can't blame her. Won't blame her. He'd wanted to do the same thing, hadn't he? When he'd hit his own corruption. He'd tried to put people where they'd be safe.]

[And failed, mostly.]

I'm here for both of you.

I'm-- I'm not sure.

[ There's something uncertain in her tone. Something worried. Not even because he's turning it into both of you when Ange is trying to keep this firmly focused on Ruby - no, it's because she's trying to think of what Shiro can do for Ruby.

And she's not sure. She's not sure what can help the other girl at this point, and it just makes her more worried.

She made this mess, and now she can't even clean it up. ]

I've tried being there for her, but she's.. she's still so sad. [ The emotion sneaks in even heavier at those last two words, her voice almost trembling. ]

Take a deep breath, Ange. We'll figure this out. Okay?

[That seems like the most important thing to say right now. If he were talking to Ruby, it'd be different. But he isn't. He can try to reassure the person he's speaking to - the friend he's speaking to.]

Do you know why she's sad? Has she talked to you about it at all...?

[Maybe they can attack this problem from that angle. Ange isn't going to be alone in this, if he has anything to say about it.]

Or - can you tell me what you've tried already?

[ For what it's worth, Ange listens. She does audibly take in a deep breath, holding it for a few moments before releasing it again.

.. she's not so sure it helped. But she does at least know what she can trust Shiro. That he means it when he says that they'll figure it out. Maybe he can help her help Ruby.

And that's all that matters right now, isn't it? ]

She.. hurt someone. While she was like that. She thought one of her friends was hurting me, and so Ruby, she-- she--

[ It's like Ange can't even say it. Like her voice runs into a roadblock, and she takes in another breath as she's reminded of Shiro's advice before speaking on. ]

Ruby really hurt her. [ Maybe it's easier to say that, than to get into the awful details. ] And now Ruby blames herself for that, even though I'm the one who made Ruby like that in the first place. None of it would've happened if I had been more in control of myself. But no matter how much I try to tell Ruby that, it's like she just.. doesn't want to believe it.

[ And that hurts. It'd be so much easier if even Ange's own wife laid the blame at Ange's feet.

It'd be easier to endure than seeing Ruby so broken up by sadness. It's easy to hear how difficult of a time Ange is having with it too, just by the tone of her voice, so tight and emotional. ]

Take your time, okay? Don't rush yourself. I'm not going anywhere.

[He's not going to press her for details. He can't. If he was in her position... then... then he wouldn't be able to speak much either.]

[Ruby hurt someone close to her.]

[That's definitely not good. He can't imagine how she must be feeling right now. The thought of it makes his own skin crawl, makes his chest tighten up for Ruby's sake. How exactly to process this, he isn't sure. It seems like a big mess - but. He knows one thing.]

It's not your fault, either. Was it my fault, when I was changed?

I know it doesn't make what happened to Ruby any easier - I'm not sure what would make it easier. If anything. But it wasn't your fault. Either of yours.

I'll try and talk to her. If she'll let me. Maybe... hearing from someone who also went through corruption will help. Someone outside of you both.

.. thank you, Shiro. I.. hope it helps.

[ Isn't that all she can ask from him? To reach out to Ruby as well. To try and help the other girl that way. Because Ange is absolutely clueless as to what could help Ruby right now, other than her friends trying to be there for her.

And maybe Shiro having experience helps. Because.. it's true. She saw him corrupted way before he ever saw her like that. But.. ]

Still, it's.. different, isn't it? When you were corrupted, and when I was corrupted. [ She speaks more quietly than the usual, even now. ] You didn't do anything to me other than trying to leave me somewhere.

[ Somewhere she managed to escape from anyway with her powers, thankfully.. ]

You didn't drag anyone else along in your corruption, so there's nothing to blame you for in the first place.

[ But Ange did so much more than that.

Or.. at least, it feels like so much more to her. It's why she never even thought about blaming Shiro for even a moment back when that happened, yet she blames herself now. ]

Yeah. So do I.

[For both of them. He hopes helping one of them will help the other. He knows, in his own situation, if someone helped Adam get over a corruption-caused attack, he'd feel infinitely better.]

[It's different]

Now you sound like me. [There's a little more lightness to the statement. Meant to gently tease. Because Shiro, of all people, knows what deflecting sounds like. What he sounds like when he's trying to downplay his own trauma.] You weren't the only person I dragged out there. I... think I tried to fight with Vyng, too. But he didn't tell me one way or another.

So... we all do a lot of things we aren't proud of, when this place gets to be too much. Who knows what I would have done if I ran into my partner.

You can't entirely blame yourself. And, Ange, believe me when I say I know how hard it is not to do that.

[ He's right.

Mostly in the sense that these roles are usually reversed, huh. Ange is pretty sure she can't count the sheer amount of times she's told him to not be so hard on himself even if she'd use both of her hands. And yet now it's reversed, she finds the pit she's fallen into feeling like it's too big to drag herself out of, even with that thought.

Her chest feels so tight with worry. ]

Then what am I supposed to do..?

[ Her voice is soft. Almost helpless. It makes her actually sound like the good deal younger than him she actually is.

Ange may be an adult, but she didn't actually spend most of those years growing up as much as she would like to pretend she has. ]

Don't give up.

[It sounds so simple, he knows. But he wouldn't be telling Ange that if he didn't believe it himself.]

You aren't alone in this. You aren't the only one who's gone through this, and had it affect someone you love.

I'll talk to Ruby. And I'm here for you, too. Any time you need me, okay?

[He can't just magically fix it for her. As much as he wishes he could. But he can offer an ear. He can offer words and confidence and presence. Because she absolutely is not alone. He won't let her be.]

[ Ange slowly breathes out. Something about the breath sounds a little shaky. ]

I'm not. [ ... ] Not giving up, I mean.

[ Despite the fact that she still sounds weak, the girl doesn't sound unsure about those words. There's a little bit of a tempting edge to the idea of giving up right now, sure, but.. ]

That would just be cowardly. And I-- I have to make up for everything. [ That feels way more important than giving up. She can't do that if she gives up. ]

I know you aren't. And I'm proud of you for it.

[Absolutely proud of her. Nothing's going to change his mind about it. It's easy to give up. To decide it's too much and fall into despair. He's... been on that edge. Not recently, but it doesn't change that he's felt it too.]

You'll get there. You and Ruby both.

I... I've been told a few times - if you can't believe it for yourself, believe I believe it.

Sometimes that helps get me through.

I..

[ .. can she do that? It sounds so sappy. It's the sort of thing that Ange, especially years upon years ago, would have discarded as optimistic nonsense. As something people tell themselves to feel better, but never actually changes anything.

Right now though.. It feels like a lot to just have someone believing for her. Doing anything for her. Especially at a moment where it feels like she doesn't deserve it.

It makes her voice a little shaky when she adds: ]

.. I'll try.

[ Another pause, and then she slowly asks: ]

Can I-- [ It feels crappy. Something inside of her definitely tells her she doesn't deserve it, but Ange speaks up, even when it hurts. ] Can I ask something else?

That's all I can ever ask. Just try.

[It's all he'll ever ask of anyone. Just to try. If the people he cares about can do nothing else but try - why would he want more?]

Ange, you can ask me anything.

[They're family, by now. Who is he if not someone to go the extra mile for his family?]

[ It feels hard to ask.

Hard in a way that has nothing to do with the usual reasons. Ange doesn't want to keep up some front, knows that she doesn't have to with Shiro. It's not that idea that holds her back here - it's the guilt, making it so hard to ask for anything.

But she's trying. He told her to just try, so she-- she is doing just that. ]

I.. I would like a hug. [ She sounds so vulnerable while asking for it, especially while still dealing with said guilt. ] Would it be too much to ask you to come over..?

I can be there in a few minutes.

[That's it. That's the answer. No questions, no skepticism. Just an immediate Okay. She tried, she asked, and he's absolutely going to honor it.]

[... Let's be real here, though, he'd come if she asked no matter what had happened.]

[From the sounds on the other end of the line, he's getting a coat. Probably his helmet, considering he's taking the bike to her.]

I'll message you when I'm outside if you want.

.. yes.

[ Usually she would just offer to wait for him outside, but considering Ange still isn't doing very great, she figures that might not be the best idea right now. There's only so much time she can actually spend outside of bed without feeling like she's about to collapse, especially since it's not like it's been all that long since she initially woke up. ]

Please do. I'll get to the door when you're here.

You got it.

[That's all, before he climbs on his bike, and takes off toward Ange's place. He knows the way - and even if he weren't tearing up the street on a hoverbike - it doesn't take him long.]

[Once he's parked, and hopped off, he fires off a brief text to Ange. Here.]

[Really, he's worried about her. Worried she's hurt, or worse, and downplaying it out of her own concern for Ruby. Which... Shiro honestly can't blame her for. He'd do the same thing in her place, wouldn't he? If he'd hurt anyone he cared about - if he hurt his partner...]

[ It doesn't take too long for Ange to respond to Shiro's text, given that she had already been waiting for it. The moment the text arrives, the girl moves from where she had been sitting - at least figuring that moving all the way from her bed to the door at once is going to make him wait way too long - over towards the door, slowly opening it.

She blinks against the light from the outside, still feeling a little unused to it, after spending a month in a magical dimension and then just sleeping in her room. The girl does look tired, and perhaps a little pale, but she doesn't look terrible. Not physically, anyway.

Though Shiro may only have the briefest moment of being able to look at that before the girl is already stepping forward to latch onto him in a hug, holding onto the man like a liferaft. ]

[He's not sure what he was expecting. Ange to be more physically injured, visibly ill... something like that. Not hoping for it - dreading it, more like. He'd been braced for it.]

[So when Ange steps out. When she doesn't even hesitate before wrapping her arms around him, it's a relief. More than he can put into words. She's not hurt. Not physically, anyway.]

[He doesn't hesitate either. He returns the embrace for all he's worth. Or, at least, as much as possible without crushing her ribs.]

[ There's definitely an emotional component as to why she's holding on to him like this. After all - she's absolutely been through the wringer, and even though she feels like she doesn't really deserve the support of the people around her like this right now, she craves it all the same.

It's only human, after all, to wish to be supported by those around you.

But there's a physical component to it too, considering.. well, she can't exactly stand by herself right now. She's still too tired. Shiro may feel that she's even kind of slumping against him right now, only kept up by his arms around her. ]

I'm..

[ She swallows.

It's hard to speak. Especially these words, especially when Ange is so strict towards herself right now as to what she can or can't say. ]

I'm so glad to see you.

[She couldn't have picked a better person to lean into. Shiro's still a brick wall made of muscle, and he takes her weight easily enough. Holding on.]

I'm glad to see you too, Ange.

[He was so... so worried about her. About her and Ruby both. But here she is. Alive, in one piece. He won't say she's all right, because she's very clearly not. But who would be after that?]

So glad. I was - really worried about you.

[If she can be open about it, he'll just encourage her. Talk to her with the same honesty.]

I didn't get hurt.

[ Not physically, anyway. Every single other aspect of this entire situation is a huge mess, so there's no way she can reassure him about any of that, but..

.. well, at least there's this. At least this is something she can say that's actually true. Others may have gotten physically hurt, but she didn't. ]

So.. [ Her voice is still quiet. Weak. ] You don't have to worry anymore.

Yeah... you did.

[Not physically, anyway. He probably shouldn't be insisting like this. Probably should let it lie, but he can't. Not really. Shiro can't let something like that alone, where someone he cares for is involved. Ange probably wouldn't, if their roles were reversed.]

[But he won't push harder than that. He'll let it go, if she wants him to. And just hold her up.]

I'm always going to worry about you. You're family - remember?

video; un: shiro

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moving to action? c:

SURE

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