[Text] [Anonymous] | Shadowbringers/Endwalker Spoilers

[aetherweaver]

[Everything seems... frustrating. Everything seems like it's stewing. He wanders around, trying to find something to do other than swatting bugs and killing (and sometimes saving) beasts.]

[But is everything really... how it's supposed to be? He's not sure. He takes a crystal out of his pocket and stares at it for a while. He's not sure how to use the magic here - he's tried, but maybe because it crosses the rift he can't call upon others? He huffs in frustration, curling up a little bit.]

]But he doesn't let go of the crystal. This crystal, which means so much to him, that came to him through a twist of fate. ... But was it really fate? Or was it always going to happen?]

[Eventually, he grabs his omni and writes out a post. Anonymously, because... well. He doesn't want people to worry. Even if it'll probably be obvious that it's him...]

Is who you were in the past important to who you are now?

I would have said yes, but some days... some days I'm not sure. I don't know anymore.

Everything's so complicated and I don't even know if who I was is who I am now...

Maybe this was stupid to ask. Sorry.

Comments

[aetherweaver]

What if you were literally a different person, not just metaphorically one?

[fogsong]

If you don't want it to be your problem then say 'fuck it' and don't let it. [ AS IF IT WERE THAT EASY ]

[hauntedsavior]

So we have spoken before?
Well, that explains the nagging sense of familiarity.
I'll give you the grace that a lot of people can't seem to give me and not put everything we've probably talked about on blast for god and jesus and everyone to see, though.

Guess we haven't been crushed by the weight of our own baggage quite yet, have we?

text un: vi

[faceblocks]

not stupid at all
its important to me that i dont keep doing the same stupid shit as past me

but theres a whole world out there of new stupid shit

[aetherweaver]

I wish things were that simple. I just want to go back to how things used to be.

Back when I was younger and less stressed.

[aetherweaver]

I just want to be me. Not who I used to be.

People keep showing up who remember him, though.

[aetherweaver]

No, we haven't. It's rather remarkable. It's been a long time coming.

It's almost a vacation for us here, isn't it?

[fogsong]

If only, right?

No point in wishing for things like that. This is the hand you've been dealt.

[aetherweaver]

I know. People keep telling me I need to stop trying to take on everything, though.

[fogsong]

Might be wise to try.

[aetherweaver]

I've been trying here, for almost a year. It's... hard to resist the urge to go and help people.

And 'have you considered being more of an asshole?' isn't really my style.

[fogsong]

Consider just choosing a day of the week when you don't do anything for anyone but yourself. Think of like a day off. If someone needs help with something those days, just... send them my way.

[survivalthroughhate]

Hmmmm, that IS a bit different. I suppose that would still be important to me, just in a different way.

[tealeafs]

do you think that people from other places are incapable of understanding you
?

compared to people from your own world i mean

[aetherweaver]

It's not that I don't think people won't understand me.

It's that there's a lot to explain to get to how things got this way.

[aetherweaver]

... That's actually a good idea. Though I'm not sure what to do for myself other than train.

I've never been one for a spa day or something of that nature.

[aetherweaver]

It's confusing and convoluted. I just... don't really know where to even begin with it. I try to explain it to people but I get tired of trying to think of what the 'me' back then was like.

There's so many people who cared about only him, not me.

[hauntedsavior]

Ha. Yeah, a little bit.
Come on down to scenic Land of Blood and Squids. Take a load off in our blood spas.

Would you believe I went home for a bit, though? About a month, give or take, even though basically no time passed here.
I almost forgot what it was like back there. To have the kind of problems that I'm used to.
The kind of burdens I'm used to, too.

...Hey.
If you could go back to wherever you're from,
Do you think you would?

[fogsong]

Try a new hobby. Pick up a paint brush. Write a book. Visit a shop you've never entered before. Visit the beach and sit on the sand and watch the waves. Spend the day in bed.

The world is your oyster. Do the things you don't normally let yourself do.

[tealeafs]

i think there are sometimes a whole lot of things other people can understand
even if you do not fully explain
people who come from different places may be able to see your problem in an entirely different light
just with what they know about you the way you are now

forgive me if i am being very presumptuous about all of this
it feels a little like it
i just wanted to make sure you knew you can always reach out to people here
no one should ever suffer alone
that is too sad

[aetherweaver]

I did too. I'm not quite sure how much time passed - a few months, maybe? But no time passed here - give or take a few days. And yes, agreed. It's like lifting a weight you haven't in a while - you notice how heavy it is.

... I think I have to. Even if I don't want to.

[aetherweaver]

The 'write a book' suggestion has been a common one to be honest. Maybe I'll start working on that.

Though if I did the things I normally would not let myself do I might be in trouble. :)

[aetherweaver]

No, it's okay.

It's just... a lot. And I don't want to hurt people. Or... make them feel bad for me. I've been through a lot, but I don't really regret it. Even with all of the pain...

[hauntedsavior]

Mm.
I wish it were an easier choice for me. I'm still thinking about it.
The thing I hated about going home, or at least the way that it was presented to me, is that I didn't remember anything about Trench while I was there.

If I leave here, I don't ever want to forget it.
No matter what horrible things have happened to me since I washed up nearly two years ago.
It's as much a part of me as everything else I've ever done.

[tealeafs]

i can not make you do something you do not want to do
i am not even sure if i know you

so i suppose
maybe all i can do is wish you good luck with all of it
if you need someone to talk to you can always talk to me
regardless of whether we know each other

but if you do not wish to talk to anyone about it then that is your choice