[Text] [Anonymous] | Shadowbringers/Endwalker Spoilers

[aetherweaver]

[Everything seems... frustrating. Everything seems like it's stewing. He wanders around, trying to find something to do other than swatting bugs and killing (and sometimes saving) beasts.]

[But is everything really... how it's supposed to be? He's not sure. He takes a crystal out of his pocket and stares at it for a while. He's not sure how to use the magic here - he's tried, but maybe because it crosses the rift he can't call upon others? He huffs in frustration, curling up a little bit.]

]But he doesn't let go of the crystal. This crystal, which means so much to him, that came to him through a twist of fate. ... But was it really fate? Or was it always going to happen?]

[Eventually, he grabs his omni and writes out a post. Anonymously, because... well. He doesn't want people to worry. Even if it'll probably be obvious that it's him...]

Is who you were in the past important to who you are now?

I would have said yes, but some days... some days I'm not sure. I don't know anymore.

Everything's so complicated and I don't even know if who I was is who I am now...

Maybe this was stupid to ask. Sorry.

Comments

[tealeafs]

i think there are sometimes a whole lot of things other people can understand
even if you do not fully explain
people who come from different places may be able to see your problem in an entirely different light
just with what they know about you the way you are now

forgive me if i am being very presumptuous about all of this
it feels a little like it
i just wanted to make sure you knew you can always reach out to people here
no one should ever suffer alone
that is too sad

[aetherweaver]

No, it's okay.

It's just... a lot. And I don't want to hurt people. Or... make them feel bad for me. I've been through a lot, but I don't really regret it. Even with all of the pain...

[tealeafs]

i can not make you do something you do not want to do
i am not even sure if i know you

so i suppose
maybe all i can do is wish you good luck with all of it
if you need someone to talk to you can always talk to me
regardless of whether we know each other

but if you do not wish to talk to anyone about it then that is your choice

[aetherweaver]

I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be difficult, Chizuru.

I just don't want to make people upset. You included. I just don't know about... keeping all of this inside. I know I can't...

... I guess I'm just scared. Being.. vulnerable is scary.

[tealeafs]

[ .. oh. So it is someone who knows her. Sure, it could be someone who just saw her around on the network before, but she feels like they wouldn't use her name so casually.

Or maybe that's just her formal side speaking. ]

why do you think being vulnerable is scary

[aetherweaver]

Because you could get hurt.

It's like an animal showing its belly - it's easy to hurt it there. It's the same thing with raw emotions and things like that.

[tealeafs]

but why would you get hurt if you are being vulnerable with someone you trust
the people who care about you would never hurt you
you do know that right

[aetherweaver]

I know.

It's not logical, it's still scary.

[tealeafs]

[ .. well, it's not like Chizuru is going to be the one to question that. She wouldn't want to invalidate anyone else's feelings, after all.

So maybe the only thing she can instead ask is.. ]

and there is nothing anyone can do to make it less scary for you
?

[aetherweaver]

I don't... know. I tend to be guarded with the things that I'm actually scared of.

I just don't want anyone else to be hurt by my own pain.

[tealeafs]

in that case i suppose i can not say much
just

[ A pause, though there's the indication that Chizuru is typing - and probably erasing her message a few times before actually sending: ]

take care