deernet | [Text] [Anonymous] | Shadowbringers/Endwalker Spoilers

[Everything seems... frustrating. Everything seems like it's stewing. He wanders around, trying to find something to do other than swatting bugs and killing (and sometimes saving) beasts.]

[But is everything really... how it's supposed to be? He's not sure. He takes a crystal out of his pocket and stares at it for a while. He's not sure how to use the magic here - he's tried, but maybe because it crosses the rift he can't call upon others? He huffs in frustration, curling up a little bit.]

]But he doesn't let go of the crystal. This crystal, which means so much to him, that came to him through a twist of fate. ... But was it really fate? Or was it always going to happen?]

[Eventually, he grabs his omni and writes out a post. Anonymously, because... well. He doesn't want people to worry. Even if it'll probably be obvious that it's him...]

Is who you were in the past important to who you are now?

I would have said yes, but some days... some days I'm not sure. I don't know anymore.

Everything's so complicated and I don't even know if who I was is who I am now...

Maybe this was stupid to ask. Sorry.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Depends how far back you go, personally. I used to be a real dick. But, if I wasn't that way back then, I wouldn't be how I am now.

I don't think you need to stress yourself out about it.

I think yes. I like to think who we are at our cores never truly changes.

Maybe I'm different now compared to who I was some seven years ago. Or even four years ago, before I ended up in the Dream. But I still think I'm the same person deep down, too. And that person is important to me, and it's especially important not to forget that person.

I think my past self is important but not in a way that I'm like.... proud of
More in a way like... he still shapes who I am now. The things I think and feel now are because of him
I wish I could forget him

Are you thinking about how this place has changed you? Or meaning this about something else?

I suppose that depends on if the past haunts you.

Edited 2023-05-27 15:32 (UTC)

Well, I know I'm not who I used to be. I used to hate the people that I had been, but now I know they were only children, and none of it was their fault. I learned very much from being them, and that allows me to make better choices now. I don't think there's very much use in worrying about who you are or who you were. I think the only thing that matters is what you choose to do, when you have the chance.

Important, yes. All defining, no.

Try about twelve thousand years. The 'me' then was... very different.

What if... you were someone else altogether?

Oh, yeah, same. I was doing my internship around then.

Do you want to be that person, still?

I don't think I can forget who I was. Or who 'I' was. I've learned too much.

The things I think and feel... I don't know how much are because of him and how much aren't.

Yes and no. Some of the first, more of the latter.

In ways most probably can't imagine, yes.

Well. The 'me' from then was something... entirely different from who I am now. And yet, we're not so different. And I don't know how much of that is due to him or due to other things.

I agree that what you do matters, but... the past keeps coming back to haunt me.

Where does the definition start? Where does it end?

That's the question. We were different people, but we act the same in some ways. Is that because of my nature or his?

And then there's the fact that I keep running into people who seem to want me to be him, even though I can never replace him.

The past always haunts everybody. If you try to run from it and become someone else, it will turn into corruption and eat away at you. The only thing to do is learn from your mistakes and make what amends you can. Anyone can choose to be kind, even if they haven't done it before.

What if you don't even have a whole soul for it to eat away at? Not as much as some people, anyway.

And I know people can change, can choose to be kind. The issue here is... where that kindness comes from. I don't know if it's from the past or the present.

Is there some reason you're talking like this is a whole different person?

It's a bit difficult to say without giving away who I am, but...

Imagine a tower of blocks of all one color, like how children have. Something comes and knocks the blocks over. Then you use the blocks along with other colors to make several smaller towers.

Is the nature of the tower - its height, its colors, whatnot - the result of its parts? Or the result of it just being what it is - a tower?

That's up to you—and the work you do.

I do the same sort of work the past me did.

I don't know if that's because of me or him.

The work on yourself. Your issues don't leave on their own.

... I suppose I should make this clear. The 'old me' I'm talking about isn't metaphorically a different person. He literally was.

But part of him is now part of me.

What parts of him?

That's a very abstract metaphor.

But if it was literally a different person, I wouldn't worry so much about it. Does that even really count as having been you to begin with?

[ Well, this sure seems like a cry for help if Chizuru has ever seen one. She hasn't even realized who exactly this is yet - especially since such things tend to fly right over her head - but she just can't resist someone who seems like they need help.

So.. ]

if you are so worried about it
that must mean that who you were in the past is important to you
right
?

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