deernet | [Text] [Anonymous] | Shadowbringers/Endwalker Spoilers

[Everything seems... frustrating. Everything seems like it's stewing. He wanders around, trying to find something to do other than swatting bugs and killing (and sometimes saving) beasts.]

[But is everything really... how it's supposed to be? He's not sure. He takes a crystal out of his pocket and stares at it for a while. He's not sure how to use the magic here - he's tried, but maybe because it crosses the rift he can't call upon others? He huffs in frustration, curling up a little bit.]

]But he doesn't let go of the crystal. This crystal, which means so much to him, that came to him through a twist of fate. ... But was it really fate? Or was it always going to happen?]

[Eventually, he grabs his omni and writes out a post. Anonymously, because... well. He doesn't want people to worry. Even if it'll probably be obvious that it's him...]

Is who you were in the past important to who you are now?

I would have said yes, but some days... some days I'm not sure. I don't know anymore.

Everything's so complicated and I don't even know if who I was is who I am now...

Maybe this was stupid to ask. Sorry.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That's the question. We were different people, but we act the same in some ways. Is that because of my nature or his?

And then there's the fact that I keep running into people who seem to want me to be him, even though I can never replace him.

Is there some reason you're talking like this is a whole different person?

It's a bit difficult to say without giving away who I am, but...

Imagine a tower of blocks of all one color, like how children have. Something comes and knocks the blocks over. Then you use the blocks along with other colors to make several smaller towers.

Is the nature of the tower - its height, its colors, whatnot - the result of its parts? Or the result of it just being what it is - a tower?

That's a very abstract metaphor.

But if it was literally a different person, I wouldn't worry so much about it. Does that even really count as having been you to begin with?

I suppose it might be, but the point is this - there's a part of me that used to be a part of him. So I don't know if that part of me is the one responsible or if it was always going to be my nature.

"Always going to be in your nature" sort of presupposes some hypothetical version of you that was going to exist separate from this whole weird thing you've got going on. But that's not real.
I can think about what things might've been like if I were a totally different species, but that's pointless. Completely ungrounded in reality.

Well time travel gets involved, so it gets a little shaky.

But I guess you're right on that front.

So don't stress out about it.
Just do whatever you want to do, who cares what some other guy would've done?

That's what I tell myself.

But some days I can't help but remember the looks I've been given by those who knew him and wonder how much of me is me.

I know I should just... let it go. But it's hard.

It's a little bit like you're his kid or something. They shouldn't be putting expectations on you based on that.

I was mistaken for his familiar at one point.

His child, though... that's an interesting thought. In a way, I suppose I am. The continuation of him in the present day.

Mixed with other stuff. That's kinda what children are, right?

[Legit question, not like demons have those!]

That's very true. I admit I'm no expert in how children are made, but that seems largely right.

And I know that my mother and I are very different.

People are just being unreasonable, then. You should just be yourself, and not worry about where that's all coming from.

I suppose that's true. I have enough up in my head to worry about.

[Text] [Anonymous] | Shadowbringers/Endwalker Spoilers

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