[Text] [Anonymous] | Shadowbringers/Endwalker Spoilers

[aetherweaver]

[Everything seems... frustrating. Everything seems like it's stewing. He wanders around, trying to find something to do other than swatting bugs and killing (and sometimes saving) beasts.]

[But is everything really... how it's supposed to be? He's not sure. He takes a crystal out of his pocket and stares at it for a while. He's not sure how to use the magic here - he's tried, but maybe because it crosses the rift he can't call upon others? He huffs in frustration, curling up a little bit.]

]But he doesn't let go of the crystal. This crystal, which means so much to him, that came to him through a twist of fate. ... But was it really fate? Or was it always going to happen?]

[Eventually, he grabs his omni and writes out a post. Anonymously, because... well. He doesn't want people to worry. Even if it'll probably be obvious that it's him...]

Is who you were in the past important to who you are now?

I would have said yes, but some days... some days I'm not sure. I don't know anymore.

Everything's so complicated and I don't even know if who I was is who I am now...

Maybe this was stupid to ask. Sorry.

Comments

Text; un: darkness

[survivalthroughhate]

Everything I have become today is a direct result of who I used to be. I would not have been able to turn into a better person if I had not started off as a terrible one. So it matters a great deal to me. That is why I try not to forget the past.

[aetherweaver]

What if you were literally a different person, not just metaphorically one?

[survivalthroughhate]

Hmmmm, that IS a bit different. I suppose that would still be important to me, just in a different way.

[aetherweaver]

It's confusing and convoluted. I just... don't really know where to even begin with it. I try to explain it to people but I get tired of trying to think of what the 'me' back then was like.

There's so many people who cared about only him, not me.

[survivalthroughhate]

Well, he did die in a sense from what you’ve said, even if you were the result at the end. It would make sense some would have trouble reconciling your new form with the old.

[aetherweaver]

[Oh. ... He must be obvious to Maul.]

I just don't want to lose myself. But then what 'myself' is... it's hard to tell, compared to him.

But to be fair I have a lot of stuff going on. Not that others also don't, but...

[survivalthroughhate]

Well, you must decide for yourself what makes you 'you'. Think about your morals, what you believe in strongly, what rules you have set down for yourself you would rather die than break, what people you feel so strongly about you couldn't live without them. That shall help solidify many of the worries you have.

[aetherweaver]

Maybe. Though he shared those too. I'm not unaware that people can share values and often do.

I just want to be me, not held to someone else's expectations.

[survivalthroughhate]

Who is it that expects you to be him? Are they here in Trench or back in your own world?

[That would help Maul figure out how to answer.]

[aetherweaver]

In my world. I keep running into people from back then. They all say I'm so much like him, and of course I am, I have a piece of him.

But I don't know. I know it doesn't matter here, but I was still thinking about it.

[survivalthroughhate]

I don't have any good answers for you. But having dwelt on my past many times before, I can tell you that doing so produces no good results. All you can do is live in the now and be the best you that you are right now.