deernet | Video; un: rosestorm | Blood Vials for all your aches and pains.

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Video; un: rosestorm | Blood Vials for all your aches and pains.

[The video begins with Makoto currently sitting in the garden at the house. Though at the moment she seems to be working on something unrelated to the flowers that are growing there. As she points at the camera several of her fingers are bandaged and there’s one on her arm too.]

Hey, those of you who have been having a bunch of headaches and stuff lately. Apparently, if you’re close to someone that has Vileblood it helps a bit, or just having a small locket or vial or something works too. If you need one just come by Usagi’s or let us know, I’ve done about a dozen so far. And it really does seem to work. I’ll make more if there’s not enough already.

[With that Makoto holds up a small vial attached to a small chain, as well another. Both filled with the green blood Makoto was still adjusting to, small streaks of red swirling throughout each.]

It can act kind of like a pain reliever too in a pinch, well if you don’t mind getting it on you. Just be careful with it.

Oh and I remember there are a lot of birthdays in October too, so if you need someone to make a cake for a celebration or anything you can give me a call too. So far I have one or two that I’m working on, but I still have plenty of time for a few more.

[After all she needed to practice and save up a little more.]

Other than that if anyone looking for a sparring partner I could use a little practice. I haven't had any since we've gotten here and I'm getting kind of rusty.

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Mm. [Atsushi tucks her hair behind her ear, an unconscious act to distract from how flustered he is. The house is so quiet and peaceful. Before, this kind of quiet might have made him anxious due to all of the thoughts in his head. He's been able to quiet a lot of those anxieties these days.]

Do you know where Usagi-chan went off to? [Asked half out of genuine curiosity, half because he wants to judge how much time they have. Whether it's a blessing or a curse is up for debate, but Atsushi has latched onto the fact that food still makes Makoto feel unwell. For his starving orphan self, this is a tragedy and has taken up his focus. He's wondering what he can cook that won't leave her feeling worse.

food is a love language for atsushi.]

Maybe we can find something to help you feel better.

She said something about visiting Mina-chan, so it's probably going to be a while.

[After all, Usagi undoubtedly still likes to spend time with the other girls and check with them. And Mina had decided to move on her own and work towards her dreams just as Makoto had started with the bakery.]

I feel a little better already.

[He was being so tender, and Makoto was still confused of whether he was actually thinking what she was, or if he was just being nice as he always was. While his hand lingered after tucking the hair she rested her arms on his shoulders, putting her hands behind his neck.]

[While he isn't completely aware of the signals he is sending, Atsushi can recognize an intimate moment when it slaps him in the face. Sometimes. At least today, he catches on 50%. Enough to hear his own desire to kiss her. Makoto's face is so close and it would be so easy, so natural, to lean in for a kiss. It's not like Usagi is due to burst through the door right away. All that stops him is his nerves; The way being with her makes his heart race and embarrassment colour his skin.

He's also forever convinced that he can't be a good boyfriend. His instincts can't be right. Because he, Atsushi Nakajima, can only be wrong. So he hesitates, catching himself before he kisses her.]

... is this fine?

[Makoto's heart was still pounding as she tried to figure out just whether he was actually aware of any of it. Or if she was just being foolish and read too many novels. But as she started to come closer, their faces so near, she felt her chest tighten and closed her eyes, ready and hoping for the kiss.

When he stopped though, she felt her stomach drop a little. At least until he spoke, it seemed that both of them still weren't entirely confident in this. But it was something that Makoto hoped one day she'd get him through.]

Only if it's what you want. I'd like to, but not if you're uncomfortable about it.

["It's not about me," is what he might have said. Atsushi can't wrap his head around someone wanting to kiss him. He isn't sure how to be a proper boyfriend, so worries about being too pushy or disrespecting boundaries.

But with her permission, he leans forward for a kiss. One that he's not quick to break this time, since Makoto did say that she wanted this. If she hates it, he hopes that she'll push him off.]

[Makoto most certainly didn't object, or push him away. When finally their lips met she felt her eyes close once more as it pulled her in. Makoto could feel herself lean forward, deepening it slightly just to reassure him that this is what she wanted. That he was what she wanted, and that there was no doubt or hesitation in it.

At the same time, she linked her arms around his neck resting them on his shoulders as if afraid he might run off.]

[Dense though he may be, this message is one he picks up on loud and clear. Reassured, he consciously tucks any fear of rejection away. Atsushi has to remind himself that his fear is unfounded with Makoto; She wouldn't be dating him if she didn't like him.

When he does break their kiss, he doesn't move far. Makoto has him anchored in place and he had no interest in leaving her anyway.]

Let's go upstairs? [He surprises himself with how boldly he assumes she'll want to continue.] Usagi-chan is unpredictable.

[When he relaxed, the last of the fear tucked away, Makoto could feel it. It brought a smile to her face as she gave him another small, quick peck as he broke the kiss. Their faces were still so close to one another. Makoto looked happy, her eyes locked on his as she nodded at the recommendation.]

Yeah, upstairs sounds good.

[Makoto was pretty sure that her room was clean or did want to go to his room, or one of the others. She wasn't entirely sure, so for the moment she waited, she'd follow him wherever he lead.]

[With her permission confirmed, Atsushi sweeps Makoto up into his arms. Letting her walk up the stairs herself hadn't crossed his mind; it would being apart for a few seconds and he doesn't want that!

He'll trust her to get the door when he stands outside the hallway. Bold with affection maybe, but he's still too shy to invite himself into her room. So he stands outside his own room, shyly laughing before issuing a warning;]

Sorry, my room is still pretty plain...

[But because he owns very few things, it's easy to clean!

A shy thought follows the mental image of placing Makoto on his bed.]

... is my room okay? [He forgot to ask.]

[There was a small gasp and Makoto blushed again when she was swept up. She was the one actually being carried for once and he wasn't complaining about her weight and didn't look like he was having any problem. She was seeing hearts and stars the entire time that she barely noticed opening the door or which room he'd decided on.]

No, it's fine. That just means we'll focus on each other more.

[Reaching out she opened the door, leaving her other arm dropped around his neck. This was like a dream.]

I don't think I'd be distracted by anything with you in the room. You don't need to worry about that.

[But she has a point! Even if... the un/fortunate thing is that they really have no choice but to sit on his bed. Atsushi has no other furniture and putting her on the floor isn't an option. He sets her on the bed gradually, embarrassment beginning to set in. Is this taboo? She's his girlfriend, so this is allowed, right?

He's mindful of her arm around her neck, even as he sets her on the bed.]

[Makoto felt warm, and seen in way she hadn't been before. Atsushi, he was so wonderful and made her feel special and now here she was sitting on his bed. And he was still saying such sweet and wonderful things to her. If it was a dream then she didn't want to ever wake up from it. As he sat her down, Makoto pulled him closer and kissed him again. She didn't have the words to respond so this was all she could think of.]

[He has yet to sit down, still leaning forward with her arms around his neck. His hand finds the bed and holds his weight as he returns her kiss. This is like a dream for Atsushi too. The usual rules of his life don't apply right now. Between Makoto and him, not even Atsushi can find the space for guilt or sadness.

There's plenty of room for trust, though. He knows that Makoto will stop him if he crosses a line, so chooses to follow his instinct. That means gradually moving onto the bed with her, chasing her kisses with his own.]

[Makoto continued the kiss and kept her arms wrapped around him, moving further onto the bed as he came with her. It felt right, this was something she had thought about, she had wondered about for some time now. She really wasn't sure what was supposed to happen, but for now, this was nice. A satisfied hum escaped her lips and she stared into his eyes. Makoto wanted to make sure that he was alright with this, that she wasn't going too fast for him, or making it feel like he had to do something if he wasn't ready.]

[Atsushi is more or less following her lead, leaning into any gap as he instinctively chases closeness. He opens his eyes when he hears her voice, surprised to find that he's pinned her on the bed. It doesn't feel wrong either, which in itself is a strange feeling to him. He had feared that this type of scenario might make him panic embarrassingly and that he might accidentally hurt Makoto's feelings.

Instead, his only thought is to take off one glove and hold her cheek. A different kind of embarrassing, one he initiated. Accompanied by too much honesty, in the form of a soft whisper;]

... I don't know what I'm doing. ["Is that okay?"]

I-I don't really know either.

[This was all entirely new for her as well, and she had only been going off of things that she had read in novels or seen in shows. She was a bit nervous but at the same time she was enjoying it and this was what she wanted, she was pretty sure. As his hand cupped her cheek though she felt it grow warm again, the warmth of his touch drawing the heat to her cheeks as Makoto bit her lip lightly, her hands starting to play with the fabric of Atsushi's shirt.]

I don't mind learning together.

[Atsushi notices her hands on his shirt and he notices his mind going somewhere unexpected. It's a direction he never imagined that he'd be allowed to wonder in. And he averts his gaze on accident, if only for a moment.]

I don't mind either. I just...

[He notices his bad habit and looks back at her. Removing his hand from her cheek (reluctantly,) Atsushi pulls put the bottom corner of his shirt to show his scars. Three thick burns, each the size of a fire poker. The burns were never treated, so they scarred horribly. Atsushi wouldn't be upset if this was a major no-go. He's used to hating himself and his body, after all.]

[Seeing the scars reminded Makoto about the vision that she'd seen, the memory of Atsushi's childhood, the abuse that he'd been through. The scars were a surprise because she didn't know the extent, but it didn't change the way that she thought about him in the least.

Her fingers gently touched them, running along each of them lightly.]

It must have hurt. You must have been scared and felt so alone.

[Makoto didn't have any scars, not any physical ones at least on her current body. Even in Deerington the worst wounds she'd received had been healed by her senshi powers, and the only thing would have left one reduced her to nothing at all.]

I wish I could have been there.

[He's not used to the sensation of someone touching his scars. It surprises him how cold and numb they are, given that he remembers when they were so hot he could feel the burning in his bones. Atsushi watches her quietly, holding his breath at first.

It doesn't surprise him that she's accepting of them. He had worried she might not, but that worry was instinct. It only takes looking at Makoto to remember she's nothing like the people of his childhood, who would have recoiled and refused to help him with the marks they left.]

... It's better that you weren't. I wouldn't wish that place on anyone.

[Even the other kids who lived in the orphanage and bullied him. Atsushi knows they only did as much so that they could escape without scars of their own.

He grabs the edge of his shirt again, a quiet offer to cover up the burns. They can't be pleasant to look at for long.]

They would say I'm too repulsive for this... Do you really not mind?

[Makoto let her hand fall away as he pulled his shirt back down, moving to wrap an arm back around his neck. Even if he wouldn't wish it on anyone, Makoto wishes that there was someway for her to him not be trapped in the thoughts and memories of it either. At his question she shook her head, her hair falling back behind her as she did so and sat up a little touching her forehead to his.]

It doesn't change anything about how I feel about you. And I don't think they're repulsive at all. I'm alright with this because it's you, not because of how you look. Though I have always thought you were kind of cute.

[She smiled a little. Shifting a little, Makoto moved and kissed Atsushi's forehead, it seemed they both still had insecurities to work though when it came to their bodies.]

AS long as it's you I don't mind.

Makoto-chan...

[It's reassuring that she'll still pull him close, even when she knows that he's hiding unpleasant scars from her. It's nice to be able to talk about them, too, and know he isn't crazy for finding his abuse unfair.

He leans in to kiss her cheek, choosing a spot close to the base of her neck. His next choice of words are soft and hesitant not because he doesn't truly mean them, but because Atsushi knows they carry an intimate meaning.]

Mm. If it's with you... I don't think I'd regret anything that we do together?

[Makoto felt butterflies in her stomach, and felt herself tremble a little as he whispered in her ear. She didn't doubt it, and it was something that she wanted, hearing it she realized fully that she had never really expected it and yet he'd said it. Pulling him close Makoto knew that he wasn't ready most likely, and she was realizing that really she didn't know what to do either. So instead she just held him close, burying her face in his neck and shoulder to hide how red it was hoping he could feel the pounding of her heart in her chest.]

Thank you. I love you Atsushi. C-could we just stay like this for a little longer, just this much for now?

[Just wrapped up in each other, feeling the warmth and the presence of the other. Happy to have them there, feeling secure and safe.]

[He's also aware that he has implicated something that would be quite the leap for their relationship. It has his eyes burning red and his own heart pounding nervously. Not nervous for rejection, but realizing their thoughts do align. And that they also align in needing more time before acting on their growing intimacy.

He slowly lowers himself to the bed with her, tugging Makoto into a more secure hold where he can hide a small kiss by her ear. Atsushi falls silent, not sure which of their hearts it is that he feels beating. Maybe it doesn't matter? They're lovers and all. It would be stranger if they weren't in agreement about these things, wouldn't it?]

Mm... We don't have anything else planned for a while anyway.

[Even then, Atsushi might push back on meal preparation if it means cuddling with Makoto for a while longer. He's comfortable here. And in a place like the Trench, this sort of security is hard to come by.]

I love you, Makoto.

Edited 2021-12-01 03:32 (UTC)

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Video; un: rosestorm | Blood Vials for all your aches and pains.

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ever just forget to hit post

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