Equius Zahhak (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
alternia_strength) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
deernet2021-11-05 03:16 pm
alternia_strength) wrote in deernet2021-11-05 03:16 pm
Entry tags:
Video: UN - CentaursTesticle
[Oh thank god. This one wasn't Equius' eye-blistering text message for once. Why? Well, because what Equius was doing right now required a visual aid, so video was more appropriate. The troll is standing in front of the camera, growling at an anvil and holding a heavy looking mallet. He is dressed in a pitch-black dyed leather apron along with equipment designed to handle heat. There's a towel hanging over a rack nearby, three of them actually, and he looks like he's worked up a sweat already. Setting down the hammer, he pulls out a stylus and holds it up so the camera can see it clearly.]
Residents of Trench. It seems I am made to continue to exist at the whims of others more powerful than myself, and for the time being I accept this condition. [Grunt] But I am a firm believer that idle hands are Troll Satan's playthings and accustomed to making myself useful. Rather than leaving my place of occupation, because for some reason I can't seem to find my way out of this district and am disgusted with the lack of direction everyone possesses around me at present, I offer my services.
This? Is a stylus, with which I can draw. [Snort. He took a piece of paper.] That is not important. What is important is that I possess a capacity I refer to as Alchemization. It is a ... gift I learned in more recent years. What I draw on paper, I can create. Thusly.
[He scrawled on the paper, before producing what looked like metal ingots, if they were drawn by a child. Emblazoned on them was the symbol Fe, for Iron. He dared the camera to speak about his skills at drawing before putting the paper down and reaching into the drawing, pulling out a set of metal ingots and setting them on the anvil.]
Complex creations take more energy, and there are limits, but I can create non-living things. I am skilled at assembling those things into others that are more useful. My specialty is weapon and armor crafting. I am told some of you have an interest in this subject.
So. Speak. I am looking for people to work with in the fabrication of instruments of death and destruction most fearsome and willing to create objects of necessity for others. Might as well make myself useful while I am trapped here.
...
And do not mock my drawing skills, or I will throw one of these ingots at you. I only need so much iron in the forge today. They make passable projectiles in my hands.
Residents of Trench. It seems I am made to continue to exist at the whims of others more powerful than myself, and for the time being I accept this condition. [Grunt] But I am a firm believer that idle hands are Troll Satan's playthings and accustomed to making myself useful. Rather than leaving my place of occupation, because for some reason I can't seem to find my way out of this district and am disgusted with the lack of direction everyone possesses around me at present, I offer my services.
This? Is a stylus, with which I can draw. [Snort. He took a piece of paper.] That is not important. What is important is that I possess a capacity I refer to as Alchemization. It is a ... gift I learned in more recent years. What I draw on paper, I can create. Thusly.
[He scrawled on the paper, before producing what looked like metal ingots, if they were drawn by a child. Emblazoned on them was the symbol Fe, for Iron. He dared the camera to speak about his skills at drawing before putting the paper down and reaching into the drawing, pulling out a set of metal ingots and setting them on the anvil.]
Complex creations take more energy, and there are limits, but I can create non-living things. I am skilled at assembling those things into others that are more useful. My specialty is weapon and armor crafting. I am told some of you have an interest in this subject.
So. Speak. I am looking for people to work with in the fabrication of instruments of death and destruction most fearsome and willing to create objects of necessity for others. Might as well make myself useful while I am trapped here.
...
And do not mock my drawing skills, or I will throw one of these ingots at you. I only need so much iron in the forge today. They make passable projectiles in my hands.
no subject
[This conversation is so weird, he feels like he's having a stroke.]
Well. So long as the only thing we have to worry about is excessive sweating and issues with buckets, I think you'll be okay?
no subject
...
[Ahem]
That was a joke.
[STOP TRYING TO MAKE JOKES. YOU SUCK AT IT!]
no subject
That's okay, I got it.
[He didn't, but he figures it might make the guy feel a little better. ]
no subject
Ah good. Most humans have difficulties with my humorous stylings. In any case. This has been informative I suppose. Did you have any question, perhaps on less salacious or strange topics?
no subject
I think I'm okay for now! Thanks for the talk. It's been...enlightening!