deernet | text - UN: IceCream (CW mention of drowning risks)

[Well, this one didn't put up public service messages often, did she? But, if there was a remote chance your spouse might show up one day in the heart of winter, well... you'd probably do it too.]

Right, so, if we're all done having oodles of fun running for our lives from crazy nutjobs in this maze of a town, I've got something we should all be thinking about. (Also, thank you Trench. I knew you'd deliver. I was almost bored there for a moment. Now this place feels like a nightmare.)

I saw something on my window while I was recovering from my last maze run. Frost. You know, that pretty white stuff that forms on your windowsills and makes you people all silly with this holiday spirit or whatever? Nice stuff. Gorgeous. So idyllic. Yeah, where there's frost, there's ice. And ice likes to form on top of water. If you haven't figured out where I'm going with this?

I'm taking bets on whether or not you think the coastline's gonna freeze for the next two months. Your first bet doesn't count. Everyone's a winner. Your prize? Grab a pickaxe.

That's right, dumb dumbs. Squids seem to show up at the same time we showed up in the dream. Very end of the month and first week of the month, and if that coast freezes, they're going to pound right into a sheet of ice. Get blankets, start fires, grab a pickaxe. Also, maybe flares or burning arrows wouldn't be a bad idea. Folks can come to you if you find a squid and need help. I have five I got lucky enough to have in my backpack and I intend to use them. Unless you want next month's new arrivals to drown in the water and/or freeze to death. And if you do? I recommend not replying to this. I'm not in the best of moods.

And if one of you hero types feels like actually organizing this thing, go for it. You know where I'll be.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[after a delay:] Sorry i didnt really understand all of that
But if it helps i believe you??

I can work with that.
I'm going to get to cutting the ice here pretty soon as it starts.
Let me know, once we get this under control, if you find anything?
As soon as I know she's safe or not here, I can help.

Sure thing
You already got a backup for cutting right?? j ust in case something goes bad

Actually, some of the scariest badasses around here are offering.
And one of them's got basically a flaming sword on crack, so hopefully we'll be good.

You got rope too right
Flaming swords cant pull you ou tof the water

We've got rope, but we won't say no to more.
We're going to want rope, blankets, the whole lot of it, after all.

I guess if i see you there i can help
But i dont think i know you?? [cuz he doesn't recall meeting anyone named IceCream....,]

Pink haired girl who's about half your height and never talks.
Usually skipping around with an umbrella, goes by the name Neopolitan.

trust me. I'm hard to miss, hehe.

[after a long delay:] Wait you were the girl with the flower and the umbrella right???

Got it in one.
I'm a distinct little minx when I'm not in disguise.

[minx is a bit too spicy for him to agree with, gosh]

Sorry about that i wouldnt have connected you to ice cream

Fair fair, I know not everyone has the divine ice cream called Neopolitan.
You all have to suffer that lack until you learn to combine flavors properly.

[how dramatic]

Because you're not going to invent it here FOR anyone right

Don't have to.
We have Chocolate
We have Vanilla
We have Strawberry

Therefore, you have Neopolitan! In more ways than one.
Just combine them!
No sauce. That's just perverse.
Sprinkles are ok.

You're awfully passionate about ice cream

You've seen me, dude.
A girl has got to have a schtick if she's going through life stabbing people.
With an umbrella.

What the heck kind of life do you live where you spend all your time doing that??

Bag lady for a criminal syndicate kingpin.
Followed that up with a lot of time as essentially freelance muscle for hire and assassin.
Around here I bounce for bars and stab monsters.

You know, normal scumbag villain crap.

[...wait]

And youre doing that HERE??

Bouncing for clubs, yep.
Stabbing monsters, check!
Working for a crime boss not so much.

That's a rather long and sad story, honestly.
And I'd say I've put my assassin skills to more "Monster slaying" uses most days.

OK thats good to hear...
The last thing we need is a crime syndicate

A lack of real economy makes protection rackets and the numbers games hard to run.
And thievery is just as stupid when everyone including you depends on each other to survive.
Give it time, and crime will be a thing again but I'm in no hurry.

I was only ever his bag girl, after all.
If he shows up, I'll give him the deal about how futile it is.
He'll fucking hate it but he'll cope.

We're cockroaches.
We survive.

Is there a name for this particular cockroach?
For future reference

Roman Torchwick
Trust me, if he shows up he'll announce himself to the network
That man never did know how to be subtle.

When he wasn't on a job, heh.

Still good to know
Just in case

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