retsuden: ([疾風伝] 16)
うちはサスケ ([personal profile] retsuden) wrote in [community profile] deernet2022-01-12 04:31 pm

text; un: taka

[ There has been a great deal of things that Sasuke has learned about in the few weeks he's been here just from talking to new people. All of them have been extremely confusing concepts, like therapy and the idea that people take care of children when they don't have anyone else to take care of them.

Some of these conversations where he's learned things have ended in more questions than answers. He could ask for more clarification from the few he's already made contact with, but the more possible answers he can get, the better. He thinks.

He hopes.

This could be a mistake. ]


How would you suggest someone improve their communication skills?

If your go to response is "talk to people", spare me. I'm only interested in more thorough answers.
thinkfirst: (skit | thinking | unsure)

text; un: scifo

[personal profile] thinkfirst 2022-01-12 09:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[ This is something that Flynn has spent a LOT of time thinking about, so he actually has a thorough answer. ]

It depends largely on what sort of thing you're trying to communicate. Are you trying to befriend people? Convince them to listen to what you have to say? Establish yourself as an authority, or communicate a specific message clearly?
thinkfirst: (soft | unsure | concern)

[personal profile] thinkfirst 2022-01-12 09:58 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Of course it's the thing Flynn can't seem to manage, either. He can make friends, certainly, and he can get people to listen to him, but deepening friendships—talking honestly about the really important things—is the one thing Flynn is still trying to figure out. ]

That's something I struggle with as well. It's hard for a number of reasons, I think. My friend here, Kaeya, said it very well: that the important things are often the hardest to talk about, because the stakes are high, but it is talking about those things that deepen friendships. You have to trust people with yourself and the things you think, and that's very difficult.

Which is why my best friend and I usually end up arguing instead of talking.
hearthebell: (He was our most important spy)

un: enpawnsant

[personal profile] hearthebell 2022-01-12 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Cross-reference contacts, consider their motivations, your leverage, and always have an alternative information source so that you can head off a lie.
royalfling: (think | soft | smile | idea)

text; un: wulala

[personal profile] royalfling 2022-01-12 10:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Hi!! You don't know me, and I don't know you, but I have to say that it's pretty brave to just go out there and ask something like this. Maybe you're better at this than you're giving yourself credit for!

What's the hardest for you about communicating? That might be a good place to start!
royalfling: (explain | wave | talk)

[personal profile] royalfling 2022-01-12 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, buddy. It is logical!! But the number of people, guys especially [ Maybe one particular guy he's thinking of ] never want to ask for help about anything! They're all huff huff I'm a guy I can figure it out for myself.
And you know what???? They can't!!!!!!!!
So that's why I think it's cool that you're asking. Good for you!!!!!

Alright, so what about talking is difficult? Is it that you don't know what to say, or you can't make your mouth say what your brain wants to say, or something else?
thinkfirst: (what | come on | hand)

[personal profile] thinkfirst 2022-01-12 10:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Perhaps that's just the nature of true close friendship! My best friend is also sometimes like that. I have begun to define the important things as the things you're afraid of bringing up. Like bravery, in a way. The way that true bravery isn't actually doing risky things for the sake of saying you did them, but swallowing your fear and standing strong in the face of the odds.

Not to put communication in such stark terms, but, I hope you understand where I'm going with that? If you don't, please sign me up for any communication lessons you happen to receive.
givehead: unk (Goldie Delicious)

text | timaeusTestified

[personal profile] givehead 2022-01-12 10:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Practice. It sounds stupid, but look in a mirror and try to hold a conversation with yourself. Write down random subjects on pieces of paper, randomly pick one, and try to figure out how to make a conversation out of it.

That's basically what I used to do. It teaches yourself what other people might be looking for in an organic conversation while teaching you where you are stumbling.
thinkfirst: (skit | thinking | unsure)

text; un:scifo

[personal profile] thinkfirst 2022-01-12 10:21 pm (UTC)(link)
That has worked well for me in certain contexts, but does it work with the sort of deep interpersonal communication as well?
hearthebell: (He was our most important spy)

[personal profile] hearthebell 2022-01-12 10:24 pm (UTC)(link)
It's a common misconception that logic and emotion are different languages. If you know where an emotion originates, you can [manipulate] understand it and [get what you want] reach a common ground.
thinkfirst: (smile | sad | soft)

[personal profile] thinkfirst 2022-01-12 10:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Likely not. It seems like the kind of thing that requires practice, like any skill, which also probably means being uncomfortable for a while. That does not mean it's not worth pursuing. It may be even more worth pursuing, for that.

For what it's worth, I'm finding you quite easy to communicate with.
givehead: unk (tirac)

text;

[personal profile] givehead 2022-01-12 10:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Not really, but in order to get to deep interpersonal communication skills it is wise to start with the absolute basics. Master them. Then go up to the next stage which would require different techniques to focus on.
thinkfirst: (skit | laugh | tease)

[personal profile] thinkfirst 2022-01-12 10:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Like learning to use a sword. First you have to be able to use the basic forms in your sleep, and then you can use combat artes. Only, naturally, for conversational skills rather than combat-related ones?

[ Listen at his heart he's a dumb jock still he can't help it. ]
thinkfirst: (neutral | sad | look down)

[personal profile] thinkfirst 2022-01-12 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
[ That sounds terrifyingly familiar. Flynn winces in something like sympathy. ]

It could be related to your blood. My second month here, I was consumed by an extremely uncharacteristic fear. Nothing I did made it go way, but as the month waned, so did the feeling.

Or, perhaps, you're just looking for friendship. There's nothing wrong with that.
thinkfirst: (thinking | wondering | unsure)

[personal profile] thinkfirst 2022-01-12 11:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[ That sounds so much like someone else Flynn knows that he has to stop for a moment, exchange a look with the dog sitting on the couch beside him. ]

May I ask why not? Out of curiousity, mostly.

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