deernet | [(Accidental)Transmission 03] [UN: A_Wesker013] [Filtered to Sleepers over 18 ]

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[(Accidental)Transmission 03] [UN: A_Wesker013] [Filtered to Sleepers over 18 ]

[CW: Dysphoria, sexual repulsion/dysphoria, misanthropy]

[The view appears to belong to Cypher as the Omen perches on a nearby ledge, as his Sleeper stands of the roof of Arklay House, leaning on a push broom, clearly in the middle of clearing snow off the roof, with his back to the Omen as he speaks to a pale figure in armor standing before the house.]

,,,she haunts me here. Seeing the face of the son we created has awakened the memories of her. Now the part of me that remains human.... aches for her. [He says this as if he can barely admit to this.]

I haven't exactly been a monk since her, however.... it was always with a professional whose appearance reminded me of hers. It quelled the longing, but it did nothing to fill the void.

[A harsh sigh, almost a growl.]

I am infected by her. If I could sacrifice half the years I have ahead of me as an immortal.... [He stops himself from completing this thought.] Can one possess both invulnerability of person and the vulnerability of intimacy?

I suppose mimicking some semblance of normalcy, coupled with the memories which keep returning, has turned my thoughts toward wanting a companion, a spouse, even, some semblance of a nuclear family, just as the desire for one led me to the chain of events which lead me, in time ...to her.

If not her, then one like her. One who does not fear me or who does not let the fear of me paralyze her. One who possesses a quietly fierce soul. One who can unlock the door to my heart, just by a touch, but who does not always require the heat of passion. There are too many people who seem to think a man isn't a man unless he's always on the verge of arousal. Progenitor wasn't an aphrodisiac, and simply because it's inactive, doesn't mean I've suddenly morphed into the sex god some people think I must be with looks such as mine. And while it isn't a 'deal-breaker', as the kids put it, it would delight me if she was small with red hair.

[He emits a sound like a dry sob as he turns away.]

Sometimes I suspect you Pthumerians are more personable than some persons. I'd use the term 'human', but that ignores the experiences of those persons for whom the label does not fit. Which makes me wonder where I stand. Humans must be as bacteria to you, while someone like me, a near god among humans, must be as an insect.
The more I've sought to quench that pain, the harder it cuts. Had I someone as gentle but firm to pull the blade from my heart.... [A pause, quiet breathing, less pained than before, as if he's managed to clear his head.]

[A pause and some slow easy breaths.]

It helps. Having someone listening, who will not judge what I have said, who won't tell me merely to couple with the first person who'll have me. The hole in my heart, or where my heart was, needs filling before I fill anything else.

[He falls silent, at which point, Doorway ...just isn't there. Once he is alone, he slowly turns toward the Omen]

...Did you transmit that, you little weasel?

[The view backs up a bit, then Cypher's voice speaks. 'Oy! Boss, I am a weasel. Statin' them obvious, aren't ye?']

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[She bows her head, acknowledging the pun. It's a good pun.]

Knowing you want to change is the first step.

I'm an optimist, but I'm not a fool. I know it takes time. It takes patience. And sometimes accountability.

Start small.

I think that's what I like about you: there is a wisdom to your optimism. You keep it built on what's possible rather than what's desired.

[A pause as he weights the next thing on his mind.]

You remind me a little of my lost love, for that reason. She had a seemingly shy air about her, but when one got to know her, one realized she had a warmth and a wisdom about her. However, she kept her eyes open to the flaws which people hide from themselves and a frankness about uncovering them.

...I probably shouldn't rattle on about her, should I.

[Ariadne flushes slightly purple at the compliments. She doesn't get them often. And rarely for who she is. Mostly for what she can do. Or, when she's playing a role, for who she's pretending to be.

It's nice though. If a little sad. If there's one thing that'll easily break an Alastrian's heart, it's the idea of lost love.]

I don't know that there's any kind of 'probably.' You can, if you want to. If it helps or makes you feel better.

I'm a pretty good listener. Although don't ask me for advice. Everything I know about love comes from books or watching other people.

It does. She was a singular woman: I've kept my mind open to the world, but not my heart. However, she opened a door in my heart and let in the world. And that door shut and sealed behind her when the world took her from me.

[He's trying to keep a pained note from his voice, but it haunts it like his memories of her.]

Have no fear, I shan't trouble you for advice. Either I figure out my own path or I don't. I suppose love is something hard-learned from experience, as well as from observation.

I hope so. Because I've done an awful lot of observing.

[She laughs softly.

But her expression stills. It's not one of pity. Just gentle, thoughtfulness.]

I'm sorry, Doctor. I don't know if it helps to hear that, but truly, I am. To lose a loved one is...awful. So in case no one's ever said it to you, I'm terribly sorry.

I appreciate the kindness. It... helps to ease the pain of what could have been.

[A pause and he'll look away before he continues.]

It's even worse when a war is part of what comes between you.

...Her name was Sonja. She came from a country across the sea from where I lived. A civil war had broken out there. My country was supporting hers, and so she was offered a place to live and continue her medical training. She found work at the laboratory where I worked, which is how I met her. We knew each other for less than a year, but... in that time, we lived and loved more than some couples do in years of marriage.

But alliances shift and she was recalled to her land. I had resolved to marry her and make that harder for the powers to enforce. Sometimes the work of princes and powers goes faster than that of the people. She was taken away before I could intervene. I confess, it caused me such pain, I sealed off my heart. In hindsight, I wish now that I had pursued her. But there's no point in regretting what wasn't. One can only forge on with what is.

[In all honesty, Ariadne loves love stories. Yes, sometimes they're tragic. Often, in fact. But that doesn't make them any less gripping.

She's an Alastrian. She's basically born for a love story that has every chance of being tragic.

Ariadne listens with complete, rapt attention, nodding slightly, but saying nothing. Letting him say what he needs to say.]

War does terrible things to love.

[Even if she's never been in love--or loved--she knows plenty about war. Maybe a little too much for her taste.]

That's terrible, Doctor. I'm so sorry. Again.

There was one consolation: The Winter Mourning Wreath granted me a vision of the son she bore me. Neither of us were aware, when she was taken from me, that I had fathered a child on her. Her family must have cared well for her: in the vision, he'd grown to manhood, a strong and smart-mouthed sort, but I could tell he had a good heart under that tough exterior. He looked a bit like the both of us, with her red hair and my height and build.

[He falls silent, spent, as it were, from unburdening all this and leans against the tower in the middle of the roof. Eventually, he looks back at the device, removing his glasses. A moment like this deserves full disclosure.]

Call me Albert. You've well-earned that privilege.

[Okay, that's A Lot.

This poor man has been through hell. Ariadne's heart--already pretty soft--is positively bleeding for him.

To go through all of that and still...at least consider trying again? That takes a lot of courage. Not that she's going to say as much. It would sound a little too preachy.]

Albert.

I can...certainly try.

I'll let you in on something I don't tell many people. I didn't even tell this to Sonja, though I couldn't have since I didn't even know it at the time. That's not even my real name, but one given to me by my guardian, or the man who professed to fill that role, if he hadn't taken me from my family, like some peculiar changeling child. However... it's been attached to me long enough that it's melded to my identity.

When someone like you pronounces it, that gives it life and meaning.

[He means it. Every word of it. No deception, no coloring of the facts. Baring his soul to her feels vaguely liberating.]

Names have power.

[She tilts her head slightly.]

When an Alastrian hatchling is named, its parents first have to go through every single language they know, to make sure that that name has absolutely no meaning. We live in fear of the idea that a name can determine someone's future. As though someone named "Heather" is destined to be a gardener, or someone named "Cooper" will become a barrel-maker.

[A pause, then she shakes her head.]

I'm not so sure I believe that. But even if I did, the way I see it: You don't like your name, change it. You don't like your destiny...change that too.

I did start using an alternate name for my work at the Lumenarium; however, it hasn't caught on. There's many people I knew from Deerington who remember me as Wesker, which has kept the name alive.

[A dry snerk of amusement.]

Interesting that you mention destiny alongside name-meanings. The name 'Wesker', which belonged to the medical scientist who watched over us, the children of Project W, comes from two root words translating to 'wise and bold', which fit my sister and I, the only two survivors, a little too well.

[A pause and a perplexed and curious head-tilt.]

Did I hear you mention hatchlings?

[She was hoping it would be the affirmation, not the word 'hatchlings,' that got through to him. So she smiles, shaking her head a little.

People never fail to surprise.]

Yes. Alastrians are born in fairly large litters.

They call us 'hatchlings' because we hatch out of a sac that forms between the shoulderblades of the male.

[We apologize: as sinister and level-headed as he might be, he's a medical science nerd at heart.]

[A raised eyebrow, but he's not uncomfortable by any stretch. If anything, he seems as at ease with this revelation as a human doctor in a consult.]

Hm! There's a small fish in my world of origin, called a seahorse, which does something similar: the male carries their eggs in a pouch on his chest. And the female is very protective of her mate. They're romantic little creatures.

I've heard of seahorses!

[She grins, genuinely pleased to understand a reference.

Give her a break, it doesn't happen often.]

I suppose we're a bit like them. Except on land. And sentient.

I sometimes wonder, though, how much sense some people have. There's times the animals seem to have more than some sentiment minds.

I might simply be too acquainted with the worse things people are capable of.

I apologize for turning serious. There doesn't seem to be a romantic fibre in my being, though I've come to have some respect for it.

That's okay. I suppose most people would accuse me of being too romantic.

Not that I've ever been in a courtship or anything.

[She laughs.]

[A chuckle, a gentle one rather than his usual creepy closed-mouthed ones.]

We balance each other out, in that case. I would think someone like you would have suitors falling at your feet, but that's probably a presumptive assessment.

[She frowns, thoughtfully.]

Not suitors, no. A few...propositions. But not for marriage.

[Ariadne shrugs, smiling a little in spite of herself.]

I'm not exactly eligible. No title, no family name. I can't bear children. I guess I'm not a good long-term investment.

[He snorts.]

Nonsense. Anyone who thinks that in all seriousness isn't worth wasting your time on. I don't think any of us Sleepers can bear children. And I don't hear anyone standing on titles or family names here. We make our own destinies here. I pray you find yours alongside the right one.

[There's an unspoken hint as though he might be open to having someone help him shape his... perhaps her...]

[Ariadne smiles, bowing her head.]

Well, as I said before...this is our chance to be...whoever we want to be.

And that includes you...Albert.

We both need to take our own advice, don't we?

"Physician, heal thyself." It's an old adage in my world of origin, but it's time I took it more seriously.

It makes sense.

Especially with all of the healers I've known.

All too often our eyes have yet to open to our own weaknesses. But mine appear to be opening. [He's too proud to admit it, except through weird metaphors, but it will suffice.]

I appreciate your kind ear. I shan't keep you, as I have some things to attend to. No doubt you do as well.

[Absently, she touches her ear.]

Well, if you ever need it again, you know where to find me.

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subject_013 - 2022-04-04 15:55 (UTC) - Expand

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