[(Accidental)Transmission 03] [UN: A_Wesker013] [Filtered to Sleepers over 18 ]

[subject_013]

[CW: Dysphoria, sexual repulsion/dysphoria, misanthropy]

[The view appears to belong to Cypher as the Omen perches on a nearby ledge, as his Sleeper stands of the roof of Arklay House, leaning on a push broom, clearly in the middle of clearing snow off the roof, with his back to the Omen as he speaks to a pale figure in armor standing before the house.]

,,,she haunts me here. Seeing the face of the son we created has awakened the memories of her. Now the part of me that remains human.... aches for her. [He says this as if he can barely admit to this.]

I haven't exactly been a monk since her, however.... it was always with a professional whose appearance reminded me of hers. It quelled the longing, but it did nothing to fill the void.

[A harsh sigh, almost a growl.]

I am infected by her. If I could sacrifice half the years I have ahead of me as an immortal.... [He stops himself from completing this thought.] Can one possess both invulnerability of person and the vulnerability of intimacy?

I suppose mimicking some semblance of normalcy, coupled with the memories which keep returning, has turned my thoughts toward wanting a companion, a spouse, even, some semblance of a nuclear family, just as the desire for one led me to the chain of events which lead me, in time ...to her.

If not her, then one like her. One who does not fear me or who does not let the fear of me paralyze her. One who possesses a quietly fierce soul. One who can unlock the door to my heart, just by a touch, but who does not always require the heat of passion. There are too many people who seem to think a man isn't a man unless he's always on the verge of arousal. Progenitor wasn't an aphrodisiac, and simply because it's inactive, doesn't mean I've suddenly morphed into the sex god some people think I must be with looks such as mine. And while it isn't a 'deal-breaker', as the kids put it, it would delight me if she was small with red hair.

[He emits a sound like a dry sob as he turns away.]

Sometimes I suspect you Pthumerians are more personable than some persons. I'd use the term 'human', but that ignores the experiences of those persons for whom the label does not fit. Which makes me wonder where I stand. Humans must be as bacteria to you, while someone like me, a near god among humans, must be as an insect.
The more I've sought to quench that pain, the harder it cuts. Had I someone as gentle but firm to pull the blade from my heart.... [A pause, quiet breathing, less pained than before, as if he's managed to clear his head.]

[A pause and some slow easy breaths.]

It helps. Having someone listening, who will not judge what I have said, who won't tell me merely to couple with the first person who'll have me. The hole in my heart, or where my heart was, needs filling before I fill anything else.

[He falls silent, at which point, Doorway ...just isn't there. Once he is alone, he slowly turns toward the Omen]

...Did you transmit that, you little weasel?

[The view backs up a bit, then Cypher's voice speaks. 'Oy! Boss, I am a weasel. Statin' them obvious, aren't ye?']

Comments

Video; un: darkness

[survivalthroughhate]

[Given Maul is currently shattered in eight selves, it's always a toss-up as to which one will be using the Omni at any given moment. Right now, it's Maul's Good side, who is dressed in Jedi robes and has grey-brown eyes instead of his usual Sith yellow ones.]

There is nothing wrong with a little vulnerability now and again. [There is a faint smile on his face.] Although you do tend to ramble on a bit regardless.

Re: Video; un: darkness

[subject_013]

[The view is tight on Wesker's face, though a dangerous smirk has crossed it, and something can be heard scrambling and scuffling and making irate noises off camera.]

Part of the rambling this time had everything to do with not expecting an audience, outside of the Pthumerian I'd addressed.

[More serious now.] This could be a matter of opinion, but... I've spent most of my life making my body invulnerable. I may have been too resolute in doing the same with my heart. I may have trapped some things in it.

[A bit of a double-take at the camera.] Another version of you?

[survivalthroughhate]

Don't kill the furry noodle. I'm sure he only has your best interests at heart.

[.....Maybe. Maul knew full well the weasel also could just be a troll as much as he himself could be sometimes. His tone grows serious and sympathetic.]

I think you are right there. I kept love out of my life for so long because I was afraid it would be taken away, and while I was right for the most part, I had to eventually learn here that doing so forever would make me miserable. Who is it that you keep thinking about?

[He nods at Wesker's expression.]

You always have caught on quick. Yes, there was an....incident and it appears I have been fractured into various versions of myself. Stay away from the one all in red, I've no doubt he'll kill you if he gets the chance.

[Then again the Wrath facet would kill anyone who was just within his line-of-sight, so short of going and dueling himself there wasn't a whole lot this version could do.]

[subject_013]

Rest assured, it's hard to kill a creature made of smoke and shadow and spirit energy. [The device cants down slightly and Cypher can be seen, head covered completely by their Sleeper's gloved hand, leaving the weasel's body free and scrabbling to get their head loose, muttering and snarling.]

[A pause, and he'll glance away.] She was the one woman to whom I opened my heart. Sonja Mueller, a woman from a distant country in my world of origin, who left it to find a better life. I knew her just a few months, but we had a love worth a lifetime. [A long breath drawn in.] There was a war in her homeland, she was recalled back. I didn't know till later that she left carrying my son. That wreath I'd put on my door granted me a vision of him: he's grown to be a fine young man, strong and quiet, a bit sharp-tongued and a fighter. She raised him well.

I've seen visions of alternate versions of myself, other paths I could have taken and how those paths could have shaped me. Somehow they remained recognizable aspects and reflections of me. I imagine this could apply to all of us. It's been manifested more directly in you. Dare I ask, does it disturb you at all?

I'll take care around that version. Hopefully, I can outrun him or make an escape onto the nearest roof.

[survivalthroughhate]

[Maul chuckles a little seeing Cypher wriggling around there. He knows the Omen isn't in any real danger, so he'll let Wesker do what he wants with the critter.

This was definitely one of the best times for Wesker to be revealing sensitive information like that. Maul is wholly sympathetic to his friend's plight.]

She must have been a very special person to have touched your heart so. Do you think you will ever dare to love that way again? [Maul knows romantic love can be a touchy subject and he's not one to know much about it given his lack of relationships. He smiles a little.] As for your son, he sounds very much like his father.

Disturb me? Hmmm, no, that's not quite the right word. But it does give me pause for thought, thinking of all the ways my life could have turned out different if only I hadn't succumbed to the anger within me. It makes it harder to ignore the things I have done knowing I have had this within me the entire time.

[The darkness was an innate part of Maul as much as his skin color was but he knew it hadn't automatically made him evil. He had chances to become a good person but always he'd turned away and clung all the more to the evil parts of himself.]

You're fast enough to make a getaway. Or just let him get distracted with whoever else is nearby.

[This might be Maul's goodness all in one body but that also doesn't mean that he's not still pragmatic about things.]

video; un: LSKennedy

[makingthetime]

...this is so much more than I ever wanted to hear from you about your tastes in women.

[Video][UN: A_Wesker013]

[subject_013]

[He's returned inside, where he's replenishing the fire on a hearth in what looks like a study.]

It's so much more than I wished to disclose to the public. I hope you aren't plagued with a chatty Omen with a mind of their own?

[makingthetime]

Luckily for me, no. Mine just doesn't let me sleep in.

[Sorry your omen's like this, bro. The most terrible thing about this is, Leon honestly can sympathize with Wesker about this, on account of Ada, but hell if he's baring his soul to Wesker of all goddamn people.

But he does say this:] I met him, you know. Jake Muller.

[subject_013]

A self-appointed alarm clock then? I could live with that, over a well-meaning meddler.

[A pause. He'll look right into the camera before removing his glasses. This bit of information warrants baring the strange windows on his soul, if he still possesses one.]

I was granted a vision of him this winter. I know he's grown to manhood and I suspect has had a hard life. [A small pause, weighting the next question.] But I have to ask: how is he faring?

video; un: AskMalice

[slayerskiss]

...Yikes.

[Faith is not so sympathetic.]

Dude, I think you need a therapist first.

[Video][UN: A_Wesker013]

[subject_013]

[The image shows the previous speaker busy sweeping snow from his roof: he's shifted to the Omni, which is propped somewhere. He pauses, listening to her response, a smirk crossing his handsome face before he stands the broom on its end and leans on it.]

I suppose I could do worse for a first session. [Said with a drily humorous lilt.]

More seriously, I probably don't have to elaborate that I'm haunted by the memory of a lost love, though generally, I'm far too busy to dwell on it.

[slayerskiss]

Aren't we all? [She immediately regrets that joke.]

Your weasel's a bit of a sucky wingman, but I guess he's trying.

[subject_013]

[He smirks wryly, but at least he's amused.]

I will say the little wretch is looking out for me. However, he needs to work on his technique. Signing me up on a dating app without my knowing would have been less tasteless.

( text | un: salvatore )

[prescind]

Not something you wanted shared, I'm guessing?

[Text][UN:A_Wesker013]

[subject_013]

No. However, my Omen is determined to find the first reasonable woman to match me with.

[prescind]

Can't say I can help much there. Your Omen think you're lonely or something?

[subject_013]

I suspect they do. They have to look at my memories, including the partner whom I lost. Something happened recently to bring those memories back to the front of my recall.

[VIDEO] UN: [username not set]

[demonicbeauty]

[Oh. Wow. That's a lot to take in.

Ariadne suddenly finds herself reminded of a courtier from Valeria. Philip Summer, Lady Adriana's sulky brother who was always just kind of...brooding. Never out loud like this, no. But the similarity is eerie.

She always wanted to try to help that poor man. Maybe give him a reason to smile. And Wesker is no different. Ariadne's cursed optimism drives her to reply.

...although it may also be to spare Cypher a terrible fate.]

Um, Doctor. I don't mean to be rude and I understand that none of us were supposed to hear that message but...it sounds like maybe you need to talk about some things with someone.

[Video][UN: A_Wesker013]

[subject_013]

[It comes as somewhat of a relief to hear her voice, and there's less tension in his voice and demeanor, though Cypher is nowhere in sight as his Sleeper continues sweeping snow from the roof.]

You aren't rude. I know I have matters that need to be addressed to an impartial third party. However, I wonder if that would even work since my mind is no longer that of a normal human.

[demonicbeauty]

Well...I don't know much about the mind of a normal Human. I've never been one.

[She tilts her head in her bidrlike manner.]

But it seems to me that people are people. And most people want the same thing, in one way or another.

[subject_013]

You're lucky in that regard. They can get incredibly cluttered unwelcome thoughts, and I say this from past experience. [Not that he's immune to unwelcome thoughts or worse, emotions.]

[He might lower his head slightly, thoughtful, but that birdlike head-tilt catches his attention and a shadow of a smile tweaks the corner of his mouth.]

Most people strive to live their best life, however that's defined. Much as I strive to live without less suffering, a life more vulnerable seems to pull me back toward it.

Have you ever heard of the Hedgehog's Dilemma?

Audio - UN: Runeseeker

[onerthes]

[She chuckled softly.]

Oh yes. Cypher transmitted every last bit of it. Doesn't it feel like you're staring at that dating app again?

[Look, it wasn't like they hadn't had conversations related to this before, so she was just going to tease a teensy bit to start.]

[Audio][UN: A_Wesker013]

[subject_013]

[A harassed, tired snarl, along with the sound of someone chopping vegetables.]

I think I still have that app buried in my device. DeerlyBeloved, was it? [The chopping stops, something rustles.] One moment. I had a profile that needs to be seen to be believed. Jack Harkness must have posted it behind my back.

Here.

DeerlyBelovedProfile

Re: [Audio][UN: A_Wesker013]

[onerthes]

Hah, oh gods. Yeah, I could see that being Jack's fault without question. It just kind of screams his handiwork. Mine, thankfully, has not come quite this far.

Try to be patient with this. I know that it can be difficult when that feeling of a clock starts to come into play. I know that very well.

Re: [Audio][UN: A_Wesker013]

[subject_013]

I'm wondering how the cheeky bastard got that photo of me? Must have had a camera on a long stick and caught me on a warm day when I'd finished my form, except I generally kept my shirt *on*. [Another annoyed snarl.] It's a good thing he's not here, as far as I know. Otherwise, I would have words for the wretch.

Small mercies, it would seem. Hopefully, there won't be an improved version of this absurd application, though some might have a use for one.

It is true, contrary to popular impression, that males have a biological clock. Mine may have started to tick, however slowly. I can wait to find a companion with whom to start a family. It's the pain of loneliness that irritates me. Oh, I've found a donor from among the Night Walkers. It's not the same, and she values her independence.