( text | un: burton )

[rocinantes]

okay

what the fuck.

( that's it, that's all he's got. )

Comments

[rocinantes]

( if only you could see him facepalm, charlie. )

Do you have nowhere else to go?

[kingoftherats]

... Iunno. I like it down there. It's dark and quiet.

Where do you want me to go?

[rocinantes]

Do you not have a house? Apartment? Tent? Something?

( get out of the sewer, charlie. )

[kingoftherats]

Well, sure, but. It's just the office here. I got a couch shoved in there.

You're not just in your house all the time!

[rocinantes]

You're right, I'm not.

But I don't go down in the goddamn sewer when I'm not there. I go to a bar or something.

[kingoftherats]

Have you even tried hanging out in the sewer?

You guys always say stuff without trying stuff! At least I always know if I actually like something or not! Like — I know eating raw potatoes isn't the best experience! And I figured out sipping on nail polish wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be!

[rocinantes]

I don't want to hang out in the sewer. It's the sewer, that's where all the shit you flush goes.

( amos doesn't even want to ask where charlie goes to the bathroom in the sewer. )

[kingoftherats]

Fine, fine! Dramatic, but whatever, bro.

... Do you wanna come hang out at the bar instead? I've got beer.

[rocinantes]

Which bar?

( yes, he's definitely willing to come out. )

I can help you drink your beer.

[kingoftherats]

Um, my bar. Duh, get with the times.

Paddy's Pub came with me! I've got all kinds of moonshine and beer, too.

...

Also whiskey, but that'll actually cost you.

[rocinantes]

You have a pub? You have a business?

( huh. )

[kingoftherats]

Uh, yeah. People pay me rocks and fish and all kinds of stuff for my moonshine.

It gets you fucked up really fast, bro.

[rocinantes]

Rocks?

If people pay you rocks, what do you do with the rocks?

[kingoftherats]

It depends! Some of them are super cool.

Like, I can trade them at food places and they give me stuff.

[Welcome to the weird and wonderful world of bartering, Amos. Get used to it.]

[rocinantes]

Huh.

( right, charlie, right. )

You get paid in rocks a lot?

[kingoftherats]

Sure! All kinds of rocks. Lots of shiny ones, too.

Oh, and someone gave me a gold tooth for a crate of moonshine. That was pretty cool.

I just wonder if I can somehow get that gold tooth to replace one of my missing ones in the back.

[rocinantes]

You're a weird guy, you know that.

( you have to know that, charlie. )

[kingoftherats]

Yeah, well. You're weird to me.

So we're even!

[rocinantes]

How am I weird?

( please fill him in. )

[kingoftherats]

You're from a weird Martian ship, that's plenty enough already.

I bet you have a lot of weird hobbies.

[rocinantes]

I like beating the shit out of people.

Does that count?

[kingoftherats]

... That doesn't seem normal.

Did you have a shitty childhood, or what? In my experience, beating the shit out of people is definitely a 'bad childhood' vibe, dude.

[rocinantes]

Something like that.

It wasn't a great childhood, no.

[kingoftherats]

Eh, yeah, well. I guess we can like... start a secret 'shitty childhood' club.

That's where being weird comes from, half the time. Shitty childhoods.

I think that's what shrinks tell you, anyway.

[rocinantes]

Never seen one of those. A shrink, I mean.

( god, that would be the worst. )

They couldn't handle me.